Whenever we tell parents that their 18 month old or less than 18 month old toddlers have no business watching the screen, there is always a fight to it, I shared this in our TIP Facebook group recently and it created so much buzz with tons  parents leaving comments like “Do what works for you “, “it’s working in my home”, “screen makes my children really smart” etc.

The first time I shared that children do not learn the skills they need to thrive in the 21st century on screen, the counter reactions were epic.

I am excited because, in today’s blog post, we\’ll be bringing an end to the argument on “Screentime, Addiction, How much is too much, and how much should children older than 18 months be exposed to?

Patricia Kuhl; one of the world’s leading brain scientists runs experiments with more than 4,000 babies each year and she records that; “What we’ve discovered is that little babies, under a year old, do not learn from machines, even if you show them captivating videos, the difference in learning is extraordinary. You get genius learning from a live human being, and you get zero learning from a machine.”

Now, this is what happens, it may appear that the child is learning from the screen but it\’s all an illusion and will eventually affect this child in the future in many ways. Are there positive effects of children under the age of 2 or 3 being on screen? Maybe there are but the negative effects far outweigh the positive. Many times, when parents are busy they use screens as babysitters but don\’t realize that babies can learn to entertain themselves and adopt that as a way to entertain themselves.

So how much is too much?

The American Academy of Pediatrics discourages media use, screen ( laptops, phones, tablets, T.V cartoons e.g. coco melon, Jim Jam, Ben 10, etc. ) by children younger than 2 and recommends limiting older children\’s screen time to no more than one or two hours a day. When your child is above 2 years then you can do structured screen time. It can be 1 hour per day till the child gets to the age of 6 then you can be adjusting. Pertaining to screen time, you must go through what has been recommended in the table below.

A study by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) in 2018 indicates that older children who spent more than two hours a day on screen-time activities scored lower on language and thinking tests, and some children with more than seven hours a day of screen time experienced thinning of the brain’s cortex, the area of the brain related to critical thinking and reasoning.

What are the risks associated with screen time without regulation?

1 . Short Attention Span :

Screens hijack attention spans. For children to be successful, they need to learn how to concentrate and focus. That ability starts to develop during their earliest years when their brains are more sensitive to the environments around them. For a brain to develop and grow, it needs essential stimuli from the outside world. More importantly, they need time to process those stimuli. While reading storybooks out loud gives children time to process words, images, and voices, the constant absorption of on-screen images and messages affects their attention span and focus.

2 .Lack of critical thinking and problem-solving skills :

When you rely on using screens to distract a child from a problem rather than having them figure it out and learn to resolve it themselves, you kill their ability to think and solve a problem on their own. Most times parents use screens to pacify their children..like using a favorite song to distract a young child who has just fallen and scraped their knee; this might look okay but having the parent comfort and cuddle with the child and talk to them is better. This can also make the brain less empathic because there is no human connection in the process of feelings.

Using screen time to distract young children who are having trouble sharing a toy will not help them learn how to share and take turns in the future, although it may be a quick fix in the short term.

3 . Lack of empathy
Research has shown that screen time inhibits young children’s ability to read faces and learn social skills, two key factors needed to develop empathy. Face-to-face interactions are the only way young children learn to understand non-verbal cues and interpret them. “Until babies develop language,” says Charles Nelson, a Harvard neuroscientist who studies the impact of neglect on children’s brains, “all communication is non-verbal, so they depend heavily on looking at a face and deriving meaning from that face. Is this person happy with me, or are they upset at me?” That two-way interaction between children and adult caregivers is critically important for brain development.

Exposure to screens reduces babies’ ability to read human emotions and control their frustration. It also detracts from activities that help boost their brain power, like playing and interacting with other children.

4 . Irregular Sleep : The more time spent watching on a screen, the more likely children are to have trouble falling asleep or have an irregular sleep schedule. Sleep loss can lead to fatigue and increased snacking.

As humans, our circadian rhythms and our production of melatonin — the sleep hormone — kicks in when the sun sets. But the blue light from screens inhibits melatonin, which can delay sleep. And watching TV or playing video games also keeps our brains and bodies more alert and activated and less ready for sleep. (Tablets and smartphones will suppress the melatonin more than TVs because the screen, and that blue light, is closer to the face.) According to one study, infants 6 to 12 months old who were exposed to screens in the evening showed significantly shorter nighttime sleep than those who had no evening screen exposure.

5 . Behavioural issues

Children over 18 months who spend more than two hours a day watching TV, playing video games, or using a computer or smartphone are more likely to have emotional, social, and attention problems. Also, exposure to video games is linked with an increased possibility of attention problems in children.

•Possible Autism (recent studies have proof of early screen time / excessive screen causing autism…)

6 . Voilence :
Too much exposure to violence through media can desensitize children to violence. As a result, children might learn to accept violent behavior as a normal way to solve problems.

7 . Less time for play :
Excessive screen time leaves less time for active, creative play. And play is what brings about creativity. Also higher rates of suicide has being linked to insufficient play. Children are spending more time in sedentary activity by using screens and less time in creative, active play that their bodies NEED to thrive and develop.

8 . Delayed Speech :
Research shows that talking with children in a reciprocal dialogue is extremely important for language development and social interaction. It’s that back-and-forth “conversation,” sharing facial expressions and reacting to the other person — in real life, rather than “passive” listening or one-way interaction with a screen — that improves language and communication skills in young children.

9 . Lack of real learning :
Studies have shown that children under 2 learn less from a video than when learning from another person, and it appears that although children will watch the TV screen by 6 months, understanding the content does not generally occur until after age 2. It’s not that they won’t be captivated by what’s on the screen, but they’re not learning from it.

10 . Poor Language development:
This expands rapidly between 1½ to 3 years of age, and studies have shown that children learn language best when engaging and interacting with adults who are talking and playing with them. There is also some evidence that children who watch a lot of television during the early elementary school years perform less well on reading tests and may show deficits in attention.

11 . Obesity:
The more TV and video your child watches, the greater his or her risk is of becoming overweight. Having a TV or other electronics in a child\’s bedroom increases this risk as well. Children can also develop an appetite for junk food promoted in ads, as well as overeat while watching on electronics.

Parenting abhors vacuum. There\’s what we call replacement and that\’s what we do in TIP Academy. So when you take away the screen, you have to find what to replace it with. It\’s not about buying books and puzzles but it\’s all about what you do with them. It won\’t be a smooth sail when you take away the screen but the positive results you\’ll get will be rewarding.

JOIN THE WAITLIST FOR THE INNER CIRCLE HERE

One of the things I did in my new book, \”Raising the independent thinking child” is to outline solutions on how parents can take away screen and create healthy alternatives for screen addiction. This blog post was also an excerpt from my upcoming book “Raising The Independent thinking child”.

PRE-ORDER is Finally Here

We opened preorder links only about 1hour ago and we currently have over 50 copies already paid for. If you have read my works, you will know that you are up for another parenting mind shift. We have some perks for the first 500 parents who get to preorder.

We will be giving them the LOVE YOUR CHILD MORE Workbook FREE worth #5,000

Access to a MasterClass on “Raising An Independent thinking Child” worth #20,000

As soon as we hit 500 orders, we will take away these bonuses. I am sure we Will be 50% gone in 24 hours because only parents in the academy are enough to buy the first 2,000 copies. PREORDER NOW, to get all the perks attached.

Preorder HERE :
http://bit.ly/TIPBooksPreorder

This blogpost is dedicated to celebrating the “International Day Of The Girl – Child” which held on the 11th of October 2022.In this blog post I will be on the secrets of raising the girl child that thrives. I have heard a number of people share on raising girls that thrive and one thing I take away from those sessions is that there is a faulty line in the way we are raising girls and the way we know to raise girls.

Raising a girl child that thrives takes a lot of intentionality which is important. When you look at the society and some of the decisions women/girls make, you can find that they boil down to how we were raised and programmed. When we understand the impacts on the girl child then we to begin to see things differently.

So what are the ways to raise a girl child that thrives?

There are many secrets to raising girls that thrive but in this blogpost you will get the tips and hacks but I promise it\’s going to be insightful and will also wet your appetite to seek for more knowledge.

1 . Praise her imperfections: There are lots of conversations and stories out there that say it\’s okay to praise how your girl child is performing, guide the child to find purpose and praise the things she does well, while I agree with such statements, there\’s actually much more.
You\’ll be surprised to learn that letting your daughter mess up is actually one of the best ways to build her confidence. There\’s this theory that girls are groomed to become perfectionist by being praised for the \”good girl behaviour” so she quickly learns that making mistakes means that she is not good enough. Looking at it critically, you\’ll see that one of the greatest battle of a girl child is SELF ESTEEM, this is because we raise the girl child with perfection in mind. Research has found that it is in the process of taking risks and messing up that confidence is built. We are always quick to jump in and do things for our children because we are so desperate for them to succeed. I teach parents to show their daughters that mistakes are part of life and one of the ways to do this is by teaching them. Start by letting your daughter know that you are not a perfect mother. The process of learning through trial and error is one of the things that build confidence.

2 . Build her emotional capacity, especially her social intelligent quotient: Conflict is inevitable, in fact it is said that conflict starts at the age of 2 and half. Girls usually show a lot of emotions so parents mistakenly believe that girls manage their emotions better which isn\’t true. Unfortunately, we teach girls very early to take care of other people’s emotions first. If you want to train a girl child that thrives, you need to teach her to own her emotions herself. When you put the burden of considering the emotions of others before hers, she will have the messiah mentality where she will think that for her to be happy, she needs to meet the demands of other people and will likely end up marrying the wrong person.

Another way is to build emotional capacity is to create opportunities to help her build circles whether it\’s a sports team, girls scout, friends etc. When you make your daughter feel that she doesn\’t need friends, you are killing them emotionally. For your girl child to express independence, and be able to express pride, it has to come from her working in a team with a common goal. So one of your responsibilities as a parent is to help your daughter find her tribe. Belonging is a need for a girl child.

The third step to building her emotional capacity is to let your daughter know that you love her unconditionally. When you claim to love your child unconditionally, she should be able to have from you the answers to these questions:
a. What do you think about me?
b. Do you understand me?
c. What are your hopes for me?
She must off the top of her head, be able to say this is what my parents think about me.

3 .Girls That Thrive Have Fathers That Are Involved: Research has shown that girls who are very confident are the ones who had their fathers get involved in their process or had a strong male figure. I have been studying the backgrounds of women who are captains of industry when you read about their history you will find that they had fathers who were involved. Growing up one of the best things that happened to me was having an involved father. Research has also shown that you can\’t build a certain level of confidence in your girl child except there\’s a strong male figure because the things a girl looks for in a mother is different from what she looks for in a father. An involved fatherhood helps the child get a wholesome template.

4 . Teach Your girl Child The Value of Real Beauty: It\’s quite saddening that the society puts a lot of value on outer beauty so instead of telling your child that they have a beautiful smile, look inward and praise something about them like the fact that they make people laugh. When you begin to teach your girls to understand the value of real beauty, true beauty, inner beauty, who they are, you teach your child to appreciate who they truly are.

My daughter had an interesting ordeal during her first term in secondary school, a girl walked up to her and told her that all the boys in school wanted to talk to her because she was beautiful and hot then my daughter responded by telling her that it was because she kept herself in a certain way that was why boys were flocking around her. This intereaction between my daughter and the girl in her school shows how we are raising our girl child with a lot of emphasis on how they look. Teach your daughter that the bargaining chip is beauty in the head and not beauty in the outward.

FATHERS CHANGING THE PARENTING GAME!

What is it for me in the INNER CIRCLE PROGRAM?

Parenting today has gone beyond, intuition, experience, and opinion, it\’s now about evidence. Knowing with exactitude the outcome of your journey. And that is what we provide at the academy.

Parenting is about the process, not just Tips and Hacks!!

When you want to build a shanty. You don\’t need any plan or a strategy… You just show up and start

But if you want to build a Mansion, you would not only need plans and strategies you would need professionals to help you.

The Inner Circle is an Annual Parenting program of The Intentional Parent Academy.

1. Do you desire to change your parenting game?
2. Do you want to build a strong value system and form a foundation so strong to destroy?
3. Do you want to understand why your children act the way they do and help them become better?

Just imagine these 👇

1. Imagine building a parenting plan and following through in the year with an accountability system provided?
2. Imagine being able to connect with your children even though you have limited time using a daily connection calendar specifically built to address your needs?
3. Imagine keeping a record of your parenting journey in a journal (specifically made for you ) with your goals, challenges, and wins?
4. Imagine having direct access to Coach Wendy Ologe throughout the year; Access to a coach worth over #1M $2,000
5. Imagine having access to webinars worth #100,000 ($200) every month.
6. Imagine being able to read one Parenting Book every month with corresponding teachings and breaking down what you read by a professional? Worth over #100,000 ($200) every month?
7. Imagine having a 15% -50% Discount on all our courses, products, and services for the whole of 2023 worth over #100,000 ($200)
8. Imagine having someone who has been exactly where you are, holding your hand as you smash your parenting goals? This can\’t be quantified with money.
9. Imagine being accountable to a system that does not only ensure you learn but ensures you DO and have results?
10. Imagine connecting with other parents and learning from their journey?
11. Imagine discovering who you are in the real sense of it within 365 days and becoming more?

You don\’t want to keep imagining .

These and many more are the benefits of being in the Inner circle.

We worked with over 1,000 parents in 2022 and we currently have over 1,500 New parents enrolled for 2023.

THESE PARENTS SAY THAT THE ACADEMY IS THE EXPECTATION!

Send us a chat today with the team:
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When we talk about being an emotionally intelligent parent, it is all about raising children who can manage their emotions better. 

We must look at some factors and one of them is- what A parent does! 

I have said several times that who you are is a function of who raised you is an advantage. Some people are at disadvantage because of who raised them.

Before we look at things that emotionally intelligent parents don’t do, let’s look at the advantages of raising emotionally intelligent child.

1. More ready to engage: An emotionally intelligent child is ever ready to engage in school activities. He/she is ready to confront whatever situation he finds himself. The child gets involved in things they do and in general.

2. More socially successful: I\’ve seen quite a number of parents raise kids that can navigate the social world. There\’s a study that says that children who can navigate their social world in the next 30 years, will have an 80% advantage over their peers.

3. They have impulse control: What we’ll be looking at this month in TIP Academy is \” Executive Functioning Skills” and this week, we will be dealing with Impulse Control. What many parents do not understand is that impulse control is one of the reasons why children misbehave. A lot of kids can\’t control their impulses because they don\’t know what else to do. When you raise a child who understands emotional intelligence, you\’ll find out that the child can control those impulses. If you don\’t teach the child how to do so, he’ll continue to do things anyhow.

Emotionally intelligent children are a product of emotionally intelligent parents. Emotional intelligence skills don\’t naturally come upon you but through the knowledge and skills you acquire. By skills, I mean doing certain things that make your child feel safe enough to express their emotions. When a parent is emotionally intelligent, it\’s automatically transferred to the children. Join the Waitlist for the Inner Circle program HERE

Now, there are lots of advantages of emotionally intelligent children but I’ll pause here because it\’s not our focus for today.

Okay! Here are 5 things emotionally intelligent parents don\’t do…

1. They don\’t bail their children out of difficult situations. The reason, why you have a problem when your child is going through consequences is that you don\’t have emotional intelligence skills. Many times, you hear parents say, \” I don\’t want my child to suffer”, \”I don\’t want my child to get angry\”, or \”I don\’t want my child to get upset”. Sometimes, it can be jumping in to pacify a child that\’s crying. When you do or say these things, you don\’t allow the child to go through different situations like disappointment, anger, failure, agitation, and sadness. You deny them the opportunity to deal with these emotions. For instance, your child fails his exams and is expected to repeat the class. You come home and beat the child because according to you, he didn\’t do well. Then you meet with the school authority to beg them to allow your child to move to the next class because you don\’t want him to experience failure.
   It can also be that your child isn\’t doing well in school, and you flog him whenever you are helping out with his assignments but when it\’s time to pay for illegal ways like paying for a mercenary to write external exams for him, you\’ll gladly do so. You are raising a hypocrite, idiot, and someone that can\’t think. I might be coming too hard on you today but trust me you need to hear this.
   Studies have shown that children who are exposed to tough situations, and conflicts and how to manage them are more emotionally intelligent.

When a child faces difficult situations, he gains the tools to deal with the situations, however, there\’s a caveat- it can only happen if the parents are emotionally intelligent. For eg, we teach failure as a tool in the Inner Circle Academy. Your child needs to learn how to fail and how to manage failure. But parents who don\’t understand shout \”God forbid! \”my child is the head and not the tail.”, \”I reject it” etc. Parenting is in the mess! Failure is part of the process of raising a child who will be well-rounded, however, what we call failure isn\’t necessarily a failure. True failure is when you can\’t use that failure as a tool to succeed. Failure is a tool in parenting and mistakes are proofs that your child is learning.

1. They do not shut down their children’s emotions. Often, parents ask their kids, \”why are you crying?” or \”why are you angry? I\’m the one having a hard time here!! When you ask such questions, you shut down the child\’s emotions. You make them understand that they don\’t have the right to feel certain ways. Every single emotion is valid. Studies have shown that adults who had suppressed emotions when they were young have issues building positive relationships and that\’s why you find that we have trust issues in relating with people.
2. They don\’t stop working on their emotions. I have constantly gone through emotional training in the past 10 years because I understand that it\’s a journey and not a destination. When you don\’t subject yourself to the journey, you\’ll have issues. Your emotions are your responsibility to handle. Parenting is an emotional journey because we are constantly battling with different emotions.
3. They don\’t hide their emotions. I see several parents feel disappointed and won\’t share with their children that they are and if the child asks, they\’ll be like, \”I\’m fine” while they are not.

You can\’t name your emotions because you don\’t even know what you feel at the moment. What happens is that the child learns to mask their emotions and become hypocritical. They won\’t be able to define what they feel at times. When you say I\’m okay or I\’m fine, you are being hypocritical because you think that you ought to be perfect. You don\’t need PERFECTION but TRAINING. When you make mistakes, don\’t mask them because you have bought into an infallibility narrative. The infallibility narrative in parenting is a false narrative and it will mess up your journey.
When you become vulnerable in your parenting journey, you don\’t lose credibility rather you gain trust and trust is the biggest currency in your journey. Without trust, whatever you do is balderdash. Putting up a facade of perfection, hiding your emotions, and hiding failures are not good examples but show that you have no emotional intelligence. Your children need to see you make mistakes and admit them and by so doing, you teach them to take responsibility for their actions.

1. They are not reactive to situations but proactive. The parent thinks about the process and then takes him/herself out of the process of helping the child. When a child fails, an emotionally intelligent parent uses the tools to help the child become better by using that same failure but the child of a not emotionally intelligent parent struggles.

In your journey as a parent, you need to understand that you are the most important pace. Parenting is about you and not your child. You need to connect to correct and you do that by working on your emotions. Also, teach them that the world doesn\’t revolve around them. Teach them how to deal with and how survive situations like bullying. Let them know how to survive the woes of the world so that they won\’t be fazed.

Raise them to be resilient and the best way for you to do that is to LEARN. It is compulsory to learn to parent. Wisdom is profitable. You can get information from anywhere but not wisdom because it is hidden. What your children are interested in is WISDOM and not rhetoric or advice.
They need the wisdom to know what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. Your child won\’t come to you when they are in trouble because you love them but because you have solution/wisdom.

Have you registered for the Master Your Emotions Challenge? it kicks off in 2 days.Would you like to join 550+ participants who have registered for this Challenge?

With our upcoming \”MASTER YOUR EMOTIONS CHALLENGE\”, you\’ll learn practical, simple solutions, tools, strategies, guides & motivation to replace aggression and reactivity in your parenting with calm, peace & thinking. Whether you have one child or twenty (or one you still yell at who is twenty), strengthen your relationships and maybe even laugh a little more by taking this CHALLENGE today.

To register for the Master Your Emotions Challenge, pay #5,000 instead of #10,000 to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040. You can register online : https://selar.co/MYEchallenge

A lot of times, I hear parents say, \”my kids are driving me crazy!” but the question I ask is, \”Are your kids driving your crazy, or are you driving yourself crazy?”

In today\’s blog post I will be sharing with you what you can do if and when they drive you crazy. Parenting is a very rigorous and tedious job, at everytime there are emotions that flood our parenting journey, this is why I insist that if you are not working on your emotions you might be getting it all wrong.

The most important job of being a parent is staying encouraged because no matter how you want to look at it you will be discouraged from time to time. One of the greatest tools in parenting is to stay encouraged, this is why I say that being in a parenting academy is no longer negotiable.Join the Intentional Parent Academy Inner Circle here

What happens whenever you say that your children are driving you crazy is that:

1 . You Lack Knowledge On What To Do:
Not having any idea of how to handle your children can make you feel like they are driving you crazy and this lack of knowledge transmits to fear.

2 . You are afraid: You say those words when you are at your wit\’s end.

3 . You are discouraged: When you feel that you have done all you know but nothing is happening. One of the most important tools you need as a parent is to stay encouraged. You need a support system because when you become discouraged, you hate being a parent and it\’s a terrible place to be!

4 . You are disappointed :When it comes to parenting, it is not the steps you take that matter but the skills you acquire. You can quit your job to be present and connect but no magic will happen if you are present without skills and tools.The problem in parenting is not just connectivity and presence ,the problem is being present with tools and skills. A parent who is present with skills and tools will trump a parent who is present without skills and tools.

5. No encouragement. Kids are like arrows in the hands of parents and what we don\’t understand about the archery is that it requires that you aim, stay focused and shoot. This can also be said in parenting , it requires for you to have the skill to aim, focus, and shoot. The secrets to effective parenting are 1. Direction 2. Focus 3. Skills 4. Mindfulness

▪️ Direction: If you don\’t have direction, you\’ll end up going around in circles. Being led will get you to a place than without being led.

▪️ Focus: When parenting, the world pulls you from different sides and at same time judges you. You need a good support system that will help you remain focused and encouraged and that\’s what TIP Academy offers.

▪️ Skills: The truth is you can\’t give what you don\’t have. Over the weekend there was this buzz about T.D Jakes passing on the baton to his daughter because he had the blessings and passed it on to his daughter. The question for you to ask is, \”What skills do I have so that when I position myself well, I can aim and shoot so as to hit the bull’s eyes?”

▪️ Mindfulness: I always tell the parents in our inner circle program that an intentional parent is a thinking parent. In being mindful you think through the decisions that you are willing to make.

So at this point, you need to know the reasons WHY YOU FEEL THE WAY YOU DO, and here are some of the points that get you to that place:

1 . Lack of structure: Many of you parent without any structure, in our nigerian parlance I will equate this as \”doing things anyhow\” and this is what causes overwhelm, over scheduling , underscheduling and all of the pressure that you face. If you don\’t commit to a success you will continue to remain overwhelmed so your parenting needs a system to be effective.

2 . Parenting on probability : When you parent with probability you don\’t know with exactitude the outcome of your parenting. When you parent, it should be intentional and not on probability.

Signs to show that you are parentinv on probability :

1. Frustration
2. Complaints
3. Discouragement
4. Being afraid
5. Blowing things out of proportion
6. Resenting your kids(things they do annoy you)
7. Power struggle with them
8. Not saying NO when necessary, and feeling guilty for your decisions.

3 . No control of emotions: Emotions control is the bedrock of planning. I will give a little explanation of what happens to our brains- when you are stressed to the maximum and about to lose it and you have no emotional control, your prefrontal cortex ( part of the brain that does what we call higher function skills like logic, predicting the outcome of words and actions, impulse control, decision makings, focusing on attention, processing feelings of empathy, shame, etc.) gets flooded with stress hormone and the stress hormone puts you on a fight or flight mode. It happens to everyone but the ability to check it matters.

At this point, the nervous system has kicked in and you are no longer your normal self, and your body, being charged like that of a bear stops you from thinking in a sane manner. Emotion control helps you get into your calm. The difference between an emotional control parent and non emotional control parent is that the former deploys tools to use in order to process her calm.

So what do you do?

•Work on your emotions.
•Set up Routine, rituals, structure, and boundaries.
•Children thrive in predictability, security, safety, and freedom.

•Parent intentionally not on probability. Get knowledge about parenting. If parenting doesn\’t change you, then you are parenting wrongly.Intentional parenting changes you.
•Join a system that works. Enrol in a parenting academy for accountability and encouragement. TIP Academy offers such and much more. Join the waiting list for the Inner Circle program here

When it comes to parenting, I always tell parents that \”Assumption is the lowest form of knowledge.”

Thinking and believing that you need to mould your child into a \”perfect being” is the worst mistake you can make because there is no such thing as a perfect child. Believe when I tell you that there is no child that doesn\’t misbehave.

When your child misbehaves or acts out, there are reasons. It can be that they are:
•They are lost. They don\’t understand what\’s wrong with them.
•They are afraid and that\’s why your child lies, bickers, or becomes heady.
•They need guidance and because they don\’t know how to ask for it, they do it the way they know better.
•They seek attention. They need you to reassure them that you are with them.

Negative attention is better than no attention/connection.

Misbehaviour can push your parental buttons and you can only remain calm by applying the right skills and required knowledge. If you don\’t equip yourself with those required skills, you\’ll make a mess because a misbehaving child isn\’t a listening child.

A child who is defiant needs to connect with you and find their way back to calm, your child is not defiant because they are bad, your child is defiant because they are still learning and growing.

There are no bad children there are only parents who lack the required knowledge on how to help their children so if your child is struggling with behaviours it is because you don\’t know what to do.

If you have a child who is misbehaving, you need to realise that, that child is not the probleme, everytime I see a child who is struggling I see a parent who is ignorant.

One of the things you need to understand is that discipline is not an emergency, when you make it an emergency you make a mess and one of the ways you can practice discipline not being an emergency is to work on your emotions this is why you need to register for the master your emotions challenge here .

At this point someone will ask, \”Coach what do I need to do?

Here are some points.

1 . Apply the initial pause and calm. It is real work because you have to think, \”how do I respond to this?” The power of the initial nothing, is the road to calmer responses from you and that\’s where you get the emotionally responsible child. Your ability to master your emotions will be a determining factor for a lot of things for your child. While pausing you can ask questions like, “What guidance can I offer you at this point”, How can we both turn this moment around”

2. Believe that your child can do better.

There is something called “self fulfilling prophecies”, you need to be careful what you say in the phase of behaviours. Cursing your child out when they misbehave is a sign of lack of emotional control. When out of anger your say words to your child, do you know that they can become self fulfilling prophecies no matter your spiritual inclination.

Do you have faith enough that no matter how many mistakes your child makes that it is going to be worth it learning from your guidance , do you have faith that the skills you are acquiring is going to work?, do you believe your guidance will work even when difficulties show up? When children misbehave it\’s usually because they are stuck, when misbehaviors show up its usually because your child has no other way of letting you know that they are stuck, afraid, hurting and upset so at this point one of the things you should let your child know is that you believe that they can. In summary, you need to be kind, it really makes all the difference.

3 . Build skills in your child. An unskilled child will frustrate you. There are some essential life skills your child need and they are- Focus and self-control, Understanding another point of view or perspective taking, Communication, Taking on challenges, Critical thinking because when they make a mess, critical thinking takes place. Mistakes and mess are the pillars on which children who will be successful will be built. Mistakes prove that your child is thinking. If you want to learn more skills that your child would need to thrive in the 21st century then you need to join the inner circle program. Click here to join the waiting list for 2023 cohort here

4. Work on Your Emotions and Quit Reactivity:

The best way to work on your emotions at this moment is to join the master your emotions challenge. Want to walk this journey of mastering your emotions ?

Pay N5,000 instead of N10,000 to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040.

5. Make time for yourself :
One of the things you need to understand is that when you don\’t make time for yourself you will struggle because you are the base, you are the parent.

What are the things that increase misbehavior?

1. Inability to self-regulate: Many children cannot self regulate that\’s why misbehaviours are increasing instead of being worked on.
2. Stress
3. Lack of habits that last and skills that transform.
4. Wrong parenting styles.
5. Not understanding the child and developmental level.

6. Unpredictability. Your child needs to know what you are capable of doing at any given time. Children thrive on routine and structure.Unpredictability is the enemy of your parenting.

Recently someone I know shared with me how she was struggling with anger. She booked a one-on-one session so we can unravel where it was coming from; Stress, relationships, upbringing, etc.

As always it was childhood. She told me how their home was full of anger growing up. In her words

“I grew up in an anger-filled home, my mother was always angry about everything we did, My father was a saddist , he was always angry and shouting. We were never allowed to make mistakes. I realized that I get irritated anytime my children make mistakes; I am constantly reacting the same way I saw my parents would react.

When I see my children playing it irritates me because we were never taught to play but to be serious and be of our best behavior at all times. I used to think this made us better adults but after I became a parent and reading your books, I realized it made more mess than I can imagine.

I am seeing myself creating the same kind of home I was raised in, and I hated it and still hate yet I can’t help it, that’s all I know coach, I know I need help “.

A young man shared how he learned his emotions management skills as a Child in a video I shared yesterday.

In his words “I saw you my mother and my father responding the same way when you are angry”.

The interesting part of this conversation was that this parent was shocked! Her response was

“But what you are describing happened 20 years ago, you were only 9 years”.

This showed me how much many parents don’t understand why childhood is critical to human beings.

Building our subconscious happens in childhood, and proven researches in psychology say that about 90% of what we do come from our subconscious.

The subconscious is formed between 1-7years of childhood.

Does that mean anything to you?

Many of us enter our parenting relationship wounded from our childhood and many times these experiences make a mess of who we became and that is what we eventually project on our children.

One of the biggest factors is our emotions, mastering our emotions and learning to overcome these wounds must be an intentional walk.

At our Upcoming challenge \”Master your Emotions \” online course at the academy we lead you to start walking of healing of these experiences.

The early bird fee is 5,000 till 29th September instead of 10,000 ….You can take this class from anywhere in the world. We have over 350 parents already registered for this challenge.

Pay N5,000 instead of N10,000 to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040.
You can register online here: https://selar.co/MYEchallenge

Are you willing to unlearn this on your parenting journey?

Parenting experience at the core of its success is your ability to manage your emotions. Some parents think that staying calm in the face of misconduct is easier said than done because they find it difficult to implement the information they have on parenting when faced with issues.
Parenting is an emotional journey/experience so being emotionally calm doesn\’t translate to you becoming calm when the child is doing what he ought not to do.

The human brain has logical part and emotional parts. The logical part of the brain helps you stay sane while the emotional part stirs up reactivity such as yelling screaming, and hitting.

In the face of chaos, reacting the same way as your child doesn\’t help because you have allowed the emotional part of your brain to take control and you end up not handling the situation the right way. Dealing with your emotions requires proactivity and not reactivity. In parenting, times of frustration, hurt, disappointment, and confusion overwhelms you and that\’s why every parent needs parental support.

So when you appear vulnerable to the situation and the triggers( frustration, anger, and helplessness) stir up, they get you to the point where they erupt your limitations, shame, and fears, and also trigger experiences from your childhood, and with that fear, you react and make a mess of the situation.

Be it as it may, how do you manage or handle your emotions when you are faced with these triggers?

1. Take Responsibility For Your Emotions. Most of the time, parents love the blame game. You think or assume that your child is the reason why you feel the way you do or react. When your emotions control you, you can end up destroying your child and not help him learn how to deal with life. Managing emotions is a critical skill for parents who want to raise children so that anger won\’t destroy tomorrow. Master your emotions because you are the reason and the solution!

2. Change Your Perspective. By and large, the problem lies in the tackling of issues from the parent\’s point of view of \”always being right.” Thinking differently makes you less angry. When your child is unruly or floors the rules, your reaction matters. Rules are meant to be tried and tested by your child but it is your job to guide them in the appropriate way. It is your job to let him know that there are consequences for every action but when you try to control the child, he recoils or becomes extremely rebellious. Your reactivity doesn\’t teach him but your proactivity with the right knowledge makes the difference.

3. Learn How To Be Calm. Calmness is a vital skill every parent should possess. It is a state of being silent in the midst of chaos. It is not about personality. Some people are introverts and not calm.

4.Learn Communication Skills. Giving instructions is quite different from communicating. Healthy communication skill is the key to managing emotions.

5.Choose Your Battles. Some battles require fighting back while some require saying nothing but watching. It takes wisdom to know when to fight back or stay calm. Disciplining your child isn\’t down instantly when situations arise. It is a private affair. Your discipline is to guide your child in order to help them learn and not punish them for their mistakes.

6. Get Parenting Support. Scars of parenting errors can leave you marred for life. As a parent, you need to have a good support structure that makes you accountable and keeps you in check. You don\’t have to run on your own.

Do you often find yourself losing your cool and yelling at your children?

Do you find yourself verbally abusing because you feel verbal abuse is better than physical abuse?

Don\’t kid yourself, verbal abuse can be worse. It happens to many parents, but it doesn\’t have to continue with you.

It is possible to change and enjoy a calmer life because of it!

Yes it is!!

With our upcoming \” MASTER YOUR EMOTIONS CHALLENGE\” , you\’ll learn practical, simple solutions, tools, strategies, guides & motivation to replace aggression and reactivity in your parenting with calm, peace & Thinking.

Whether you have one child or twenty (or one you still yell at who is twenty), strengthen your relationships and maybe even laugh a little more–by taking this CHALLENGE today.

Want to walk this journey with US?

Pay #3,499 instead of #10,000 to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040.

You can register online here: https://selar.co/MYEchallenge

Be Intentional.
©Wendy Ologe
Parent Coach & Author

There are many things that I wish parents knew about parenting , recently I started compiling a lot of things I wish parents knew , eventually I am going to put it out in a book because there are too many things in my head but I first thought to share snippets in this blogpost that would help in your parenting.

I wish that parents knew that ……..

1. Children are made by their habits: What you will need to raise a child who will thrive are habits that last and skills that transform. Children are made by their habits , children who grow up with certain characters can be traced back to certain habits that they must have picked up as children. Habits are built in trickles, you don’t wake up and decide to form those habits.

2. Parenting is First About You: I wish that parents knew that parenting is first about you not the child , church or school. I know that I mentioned first that children are made by their habits but behaviors are learnt but they are are caught more than they are taught. Many times we don’t realize that the way out children behave are as a result of our actions.
Before you go on your journey of parenting you need to go back to your drawing board and question yourself and the things you believe in. Many children become who they become because their parents are parenting with our knowledge. The more knowledge your acquire , the more it rubs off on your child.

3. The World Is A Score Keeper: The world does not reward mediocrity , the world is not that tiny place in your bedroom, your child is the earner and learner of the scores. The world , the school , your environment, your child’s marriage are all score keepers. Your duty is to teach your child how to earn those scores and how to learn to earn those scores. The world won’t just hand over things to your child because they tried , they must learn to earn their scores.

4. Parenting Comes With A Manual: For a long times I have heard people say that parenting has no manual but it will shock you to know that what works for you is not what works in the real sense of it and I have said every time that you can love your child and destroy them.Whether your realize it or not , we are all parenting with a manual whether it was handed over to you by your parents or environment but no one parents in a vacuum . So the question is what are you really parenting from? Some of your manuals have loopholes , some are delivering mediocrity and not excellence , if you find that your manual is not working for you , trash it today and develop what would work for you. Any generation that cannot produce a better system is a failed generation, you need to look at what your parents did, look out for where they failed and reinvent it.Any parenting without a structure and a plan is a failed system and only a manual offers you such. It’s a failed system to think that you can just wake up and start parenting. If you are looking for a manual for your parenting , you need to join the Inner Circle Program.

5. Connection is Everything: Children are bothered about how they felt about their childhood, children are bothered about how secured they feel with you, all the material gifts you give to them doesn’t really matter. If you knew how much connection means to your child you will drop everything. If you connect with your child more , you will do better. Connection is at the bedrock of parenting, when connection is strong children are more wired to comply to rules and instructions. Part of what we do in the academy is to provide daily connection tools where you are held accountable to connect with your children, it’s one thing to be present and another thing to have content with your presence.

6.Schools Only Support What You Have Inculcated In Your Children: What a school does is to build on what you have already imbibed in your children. You as a parent are the most important piece in the academic success of your child. I wish you knew how important you are to the success of your children in the school system. If you knew this , your choice of school will be different.

7.Children Blossom Under Responsibilities:
A child raised to be responsible gives you less worry.The more responsible a child become, the more they are likely to succeed in other areas of life. Children without responsibility don\’t really blossom that much and far.If you are in the waiting list of the academy , you need to know that part of our core is to teach your children responsibility. I am beginning to see a disturbing trend of children becoming irresponsible , where we have created a system of bail out for our children.

8. Screen time is not an advantage to a child but a disadvantage: If you recognize this you will be more conscious of how you expose your children to screen.

9. What discipline is about: Discipline is not about screaming, jumping, shouting, banging head. Discipline is first of all training, discipline involves grooming of children

If your child does the right thing only when you\’re around, then there is something wrong. If discipline is done right, you will struggle less.The most abused subjects in the journey of parenting is discipline, It\’s often used carelessly and applied haphazardly.

10. Parenting is war:

There is a need for conscious, deliberate strategy on how to succeed.You have to plan ahead of a war, so is parenting, you have to plan ahead of the journey.

When you do things with knowledge, you stand a better chance of being successful.
We should parent by intentionality and NOT by probability. How are you fighting this parenting war: ignorantly or knowledgeably?

According to Ecclesiastes 10:15:The labour of the foolish wearieth every one of them, because he knoweth not how to go to the city. Wisdom is the things that other people know that you don\’t know and seek out ways to know them.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE INNER CIRCLE

1. HOW MUCH DOES THIS COST?

The annual subscription fee for the program is N70, 000 .

You book a slot at the enquiry desk with a non-refundable fee of N5,000 for 2023 cohort, and pay your annual fee of N65,000 which you can decide to pay at once N70,000

1. CAN I PAY ON INSTALLMENTS?

Yes, after the initial non-refundable fee of N5,000, you can spread the fee through the year (2-3 installments) but you must have completed payment before we resume on 1st December 2022.

1. CAN MY SPOUSE ENROLL?

Yes couple fee is N120,000 instead of N140,000 (Registration inclusive), so you get to save N20,000 as a couple, because we want to encourage couples to go on this journey together.

1. DO WE STILL HAVE SLOTS?

We currently have slots booked to over 80% of our capacity, and we will stop registration as soon as max our capacity. Slots are filling up quickly, so jump on-board now.

5. HOW DO I MAKE PAYMENT?

Simply book by using this link https://selar.co/tipinnercircle or make direct payment to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy, then send a chat with proof of payment to 08129687040.

As the new school year is resuming what plan have you put in place? A new school session always poses some form of challenge for every child. In preparing your child for a new school year, it is not only preparing for academics, I have found that a lot of parents have this notion.

Preparing your child for back-to-school starts immediately after the closure of the previous school year. The real reason why back-to-school plans are important is that you need to send your children back to school ready to learn and you need to plan every area of their lives.

In getting ready for the new school year, you need to plan their sleep , nutrition , morning routines etc. Preparations for the new school year is divided into 5 areas and we will be sharing fully on these 5 areas in the back to school masterclass coming up from the 5th to 7th of September.You can join the masterclass here.At the back to school this year , we will be teaching how to prepare your child : Socially , Emotionally,Health wise and how to maintain and sustain success in school.

For today\’s blogpost, we will be focusing on the academic aspect of preparing for back to school and this starts with the kind of school your child is attending and what they are doing currently. Every school is not for every child , choosing a school is not about how expensive a school is but how they meet your child\’s needs .

QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE CHOOSING A SCHOOL FOR YOUR CHILD ….

If you are on the verge of changing school for your child or even starting a new session in their previous school, read this. If you are a teacher or a school owner, this is also for you.

Ask the school these question.

1. Does my Family Value align with the value of this school?

A school can be great yet might not necessarily be your focus on raising the kind of child you want! For instance, if you are focused on skills as a value, you need to find a school that can complement your efforts.

2. Does this school support my child’s learning style?

Unfortunately, the traditional school system mostly supports Auditory learners and sometimes visual; if your child is a kinesthetic Learner like my son, he would struggle.

As your parent, your primary role is to first understand your child’s learning style.

3. Safety and security :

Children spend considerable hours of their day in school and it becomes of utmost importance that the safety of children is given due consideration. A safe environment creates an open space for them to explore, learn and grow.

Ask the school for their safety procedures followed in the school in all the areas.

Safety on their person
Sexuality safety; ask for their safety plan on this. Fire safety; ask about the infrastructure on this.

4. Is this school meant for my child?

Every school is not for every child, that a school is great doesn’t necessarily mean it’s for your child. For instance, a child who is gifted in sports should have a school that can support this gifting.

5. Welfare and Quality of Teachers :

This is not just about qualifications because Teaching-learning is an ever-evolving process, so, ensure that the school organizes regular workshops and training for the teachers to keep them up-to-date.

Does the school management should spend a great deal of time, energy, and resources on providing intensive training programs to update the knowledge and upgrade the skills of their teachers.

6. What is The student-teacher ratio? This ensures proper attention and care can be provided to every student.

7. What kind of Curriculum /co-curriculum activities do they run?

the curriculum doesn’t refer to just books and notebooks, it’s the totality of students’ experiences during the educational process.

Any curriculum that will help a child thrive must be child-centric with a focus on learning and practicing the core subject skills as well as Life Skills like English Conversation, Thinking Skills, Personality Development, etc.

Co-curricular activities are an integral part of the school curriculum and help in enhancing the learning process of students. They help in enhancing the social and intellectual skills, moral values, and personalities of the students.

Before you send your child to any school Understand beforehand the curriculum followed and the co-curricular activities offered in the school.

8. What is the school Policy on Discipline? I have seen parents go to beat teachers or fight the school because of the disciplinary strategy used in a school. Before your child enroll in a school; ask how disciplinary issues are handled!

9. What resources are available to help a
child when he or she is struggling:

Providing learning resources and intervention isn’t restricted to children with special needs or learning difficulties, so ensure you ask about a school’s intervention program for Learners who will struggle with aspects of learning along their academic journey.

10. What is Their Early Years Program Like?

As a parent of a child between the ages of 2 and 5, you should ask specific questions about the early childhood program because this is the foundation of your child\’s educational path.
•What is the teacher-to-pupil ratio?
•Is the teaching experiential and hands-on?
•Do they teach using the play way method?
•Does the school provide child development classes that involve practical life activities, and sensorial education?
Is the learning Process child- centered.

We have over 30 questions you must ask before you take your child to a new school; we will be sharing this at the masterclass we are hosting at the academy this September 5th -7th.

To join the BACK TO SCHOOL MASTER CLASS, Pay #5,000 ($13) instead of #20,000 ( $26) to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040. You can register online here: https://selar.co/B2Smasterclass

Benefits attached to this webinar lol when you register include ; Resources worth N42,000 ($100) only for N5,000 ($13) ; if you are able to make payment for the early bird .

•FREE Parent-Teacher Guide worth #2,000

•FREE Parent-Teacher Master Class worth #10,000

•FREE access to the Back To School Master Class 1.0 worth #20,000

A copy of The BACK TO SCHOOL BUNDLE,
Worth 10k Containing :

-A back To school affirmation Pack

-The Parent School Support Template

-Preparing your Child for Boarding school Template

-School routine planner

-School Structure Blueprint

-Meal Planner

-Daily School Preparation planner

-School accountability planner

-30 day Connection Tool

-30 day affirmation pack for toddlers

You can register online here: https://selar.co/B2Smasterclass

Every time we talk about raising children with strong moral values, most people think that we are advocating for raising perfect children or raising children who always obey you at all times but that\’s not the conversation of the day. In this blog post, you will be learning what you can do to raise children who are negative influence proof.

In the words of Theodore Roosevelt “To educate a person in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace in society” and if you look around you today you will agree with me that this is not just about raising our children to have a sound mind but have zero in character. In my years of working with parents, one of the mistakes I have seen is that parents pay attention to the mind and they never pay attention to character and truly character is what makes a person.

In recent times we have been talking about sex conversations, and not long after the media was filled with the unfortunate story of R.Kelly.In a viral post I made, R.Kelly is a product of a failed family system, He was a brilliant mind, and had so much talent to offer the world but he has become someone who is now tainted as an Ex-convict for life. The interesting thing is that R-Kelly grew up in a Christian home but there were fundamental things that were missing in his upbringing like education of character, education of value system, and paying attention to the family as a whole. In that post I mentioned that no one is born promiscuous, gay, or bisexual, this happens as a result of how we are programmed in childhood.

When it comes to raising children with strong moral values, you must realize that you can not leave it to chance, anything you leave to chance cannot succeed. In parenting it\’s either you parent by probability or by intentionality, whichever what you choose to go, you must recognise that there is a price. Values are important for you to live, they are too important for you to live them to the school system . Schools have tried to preach morals but are having a hard time doing it, the reason is simple: the window of an opportunity to lay a foundation for strong morals ends by the time your child is 6 so they school systems encounters a barrier when instilling values in children over 6. In my study of the Japanese system, I learned that their children learn morals and character before they learn to teach the mind this is why you can trade with trust in the whole of Japan as a nation.

The question is not whether we should teach values or not, the question is what are we teaching? Children learn moral values by observation, drawing conclusions about what they think and your children’s values will emerge from those conclusions.

When a child is born you are at the top most influential stage, this is typically between the ages of 0 to 7, by the time a child turns 8 you begin to change position, their peer group becomes the most influential person in their lives, followed by the other adults in their lives, media and then you as their parent. In all of this, there is still a twist to it, research proves that the stronger relationship you have with your child the more his word and the opinions of his peers is filtered through the values they picked up from you. So in order words relationship trumps control in parenting.Do you know how to influence your children?

How do you influence your child\’s moral values?

• Teach Them Moral Competencies: We dedicate the month of November to teaching moral competence in the Inner circle program.
  
  Join The Inner Circle Program Here
  
  These moral competencies include:
  Fairness, Empathy, Decency, Self-sacrifice, Loyalty, Honesty, Responsibility, Service, Honour. A child with strong moral values will become a happy adult. According to Martin Selvat (a happiness expert), happiness is a result of developing character strength. And character strength includes Humility, Self-control, Love for learning, Industriousness, leadership, caution, chastity, dependability and the 10 self-concepts in parenting. These 10 self-concepts will be broadened during the upcoming sex educate your child like a pro challenge.

2. Make It Relevant To His World: If a conversation or value system isn\’t relevant to your child\’s world you will miss it. The first thing to consider while instilling value is to make it relevant. You must realize that values are not theory, they are very practical.

How To Make Values Relevant: Create your family values: If you don\’t have a family value, mission, and vision you are headed nowhere as a parent. Every family is created to fulfill a purpose and if that purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable. If your family values are not documented, it is not valuable. Get our family value guide here

3. What are You Modelling? Many of us will achieve a better result in parenting not because we are better, not because we are perfect but because we are intentional. If you are intentional about what you are modeling, a lot of things won\’t happen. For instance, I see parents say things like we don\’t lie in our family, we are honest people but many of the times that value is not lived intentionally because you do not have an accountability system that holds you accountable for the things you and do not do. When you become a parent you lose the privilege of behaving anyhow. If your parenting is not changing you, then you are not parenting well because parenting is designed to recreate you as an individual. This is why part of the modules for the upcoming sex educate your child like a pro challenge is centered around you as the most important piece because I have found that when you become a parent a lot of things are centered around you. I love my child and I know what is good for my child is not a parenting plan, parenting plans are filled with structures, and knowledge-based and have a well-thought-out accountability plan to back it up so your parenting structure is created to reform you.

4. Create An Intentional Social Roadmap For Your Genzer: These days we are parenting from a lot of fears, we are raising children who are locked down and shut up inside your house. I learned from the onset that the environment you raise your child will affect who that child becomes later on in life, because we are a product of parenting programming including what happens in our environment and you cannot influence the friends your child eventually makes but you can influence their environment by creating a system from day one.Influence is a key tool teenagers use to learn and social connections is one of the most important things to a teenager and you can\’t take it away.

Your teenager must be influenced by their peers but the question is if the influence will be positive of negative. I have seen friends of my daughter become book worms my interacting with her and I have also seen my daughter become more social because she has a friend who is social. The influence your child\’s peers will have on them, you cannot match it.

7 in 10 Number of children have inadvertently viewed online pornography.When most people think about child sexual abuse, they think of those children in which an adult has touched a child in an inappropriate way. But there are also non-touching forms of sexual abuse.

In the age of fast moving tech there are new victims.. Those who are abused without being touched. How do you deal with this?

This is why we created this SEX-EDUCATE YOUR CHILD LIKE A PRO CHALLENGE and made it accessible to everyone. Your child might become a victim of abuse even without any adult touching them…

Who is in your child\’s environment? Don\’t access this knowledge alone, Sex educating a child requires that everyone in the circle of the child know what to do.

Get everyone in your circle into this challenge; sex education has a new dimension and we will be recreating that dimension for you at this challenge.

Dont just pay for yourself, get other people in your circle of influence to join.We now have over 2,500 parents registered for this challenge and we have only a FEW slots to close registrations tomorrow.

To Join the Sex Educate Your Child Like A Pro Challenge, pay #2,000 to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy. Send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040.

Or you can JOIN online https://selar.co/SexeducationchallengePartner with us to reach more parents.

This month we have been discussing all you need to know about sex conversation, and today we are looking at why sex conversation must be age-appropriate.

Sex conversation is a big deal today. A lot of parents have issues with sex conversations. They do not know where to start nor do they know how to start. They do not know what to say. One of the things that we are going to be doing at our upcoming Sex Educates Your Child Like a Pro Challenge is that we are going to share an overview of the goals that you seek to accomplish and also share different strategies and tips that you can use to accomplish those goals as regards sex conversations. Sex conversation is a big deal and we want you to understand that if you are not having this conversation someone else somewhere will have this conversation for you.

Reasons why your sex conversation must be age-appropriate

1. Sex conversation must be done honestly, knowledgeably, and structurally: Effective sex conversation must be honest, it must be knowledgeable and it must be structural that is one of the reasons why you must have it in the age-appropriate way. When you structure your conversation, you are going to realize that it is supposed to be said in a certain way. If you ask me when sex conversations should start, it starts as soon as you have a child. I have said over and again that the moment you have a child, you start a sex conversation so sex conversation must be done honestly, it must be done knowledgeably and it must be structured.

Many of us learned the truth about our bodies when we were older, some of us learned it when we were much younger and we never really learned it from our parents that is why structure is required. In the Academy part of what we have helped our parents do is to structure how they are having this conversation. Our children need conversations about their bodies, their sexuality, the normalcy of life, and sex. This is one of the reasons why you must share sex conversations have it honestly, knowledgeably, and structurally

1. Children learn best from repeated exposure to a subject: I usually say that what makes someone learn is when you make an impression, and you cannot make an impression without repetition. A child does not learn without you first making an impression and for you to have made an impression there has to be repetition, so your children can only learn via repetition, that is why repeated exposure to the subject is important, and if you start this exposure as early as possible, there\’s something we call the “cumulative time factor” – the cumulative time factor begins to help your child to be able to internalize some of those things that we are talking about.
2. You need to practice talking about sex without getting embarrassed: You cannot practice talking about says except you are armed with knowledge, which is why I said it has to be shared honestly, knowledgeably, and structurally. So it is the knowledge that actually gives you the confidence to say to yourself: “I know what I am doing” and that\’s where you get the confidence not to be embarrassed. I see quite a number of parents talk about vagina, talk about penis in a very cringe manner, even as you are reading this blog post, so many of you are cringing. Can you explain the difference between gender confusion, gender neutrality, homosexuality, and heterosexuality without stumbling on your words? If you cannot, then you need knowledge. If you talk to your toddler about their genitals while they are taking their bath, you need to understand losing the cringe factor that way, when it\’s time for tougher conversations, you now have laid a solid foundation. The reason why you need to start this conversation early is so that you can actually lay a foundation for having these conversations. It is very important.
3. Talking about consent throughout your child\’s life lays the foundation for a healthy relationship later: It is from this that you begin to lay the foundation. Do you know that when you are not confident about what you are saying your children can actually pick it up? This is where the foundation is laid; so for those of you who are asking me, should I have started sex education, my children is just one month? You should have started the day the child was born. It\’s important that you actually explain it to understand where you should start and how. Some of the things that you need to begin to talk about is that, you start affirming your newborn baby. As a person, affirmation is actually a sex conversation, because this message is your effort absorbed moment by moment early in their life which set the stage for healthy identity, gender identification, and gender confusion. If you need to sort it out, you start from day one. If you wait until your child is already 10, you are going to be applying the fire brigade approach. Ask the parents who started at 10 then when they become aware, and before they become familiar you have to actually be able to arm yourself with the knowledge. You are only able to help your children according to the level of your knowledge, the same thing in sex conversation and it will also interest you to note that drug conversation is part of sex conversation. You need to begin to develop better communication skills regarding their body, build a Media Plan, etc.

Part of what you must have when getting into the Academy is a Media Plan.

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You cannot parent without these structures, remember I said that sex conversation must be had honestly, knowledgeably, and structurally. Children learn more from what we do than what we say, it is also very key with this conversation. If you start this conversation with dishonesty, you have already eroded the trust process. Let me say this: “Trust is the highest currency in sex conversation”, once you have sent your children the message that you are untrustworthy or that you are too uncomfortable to be a source of information about sex, they are less likely to choose you as their primary source of information in the future.

At the Sex Educate Your Child Like a Pro Challenge, I am going to give out a 30-day Guide for you to be able to have this conversation structurally. What I have done in that Guide is share how you can begin to have your age-appropriate sex conversations. Unfortunately, parents still don\’t understand that Sex Education isn\’t all about touching the Private part and public parts. If you don\’t have a well on documented and adhered-to Family media plan in your home, you are kidding… Because your child\’s environment is the first place you MUST start when you are starting this conversation.

We now have 2,000 plus and these parents will be receiving my latest book on 30 days guide for the upcoming Challenge; Sex Educate Your Child like a pro we will show you exactly what else you Must include in your conversations. If you are still at this level of Sex Education, please repeat and learn

To Join the Sex Educate Your Child Like A Pro Challenge, Pay N2,000 to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy. Send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040 or You can JOIN online here: https://selar.co/Sexeducationchallenge