A lot of times, I hear parents say, \”my kids are driving me crazy!” but the question I ask is, \”Are your kids driving your crazy, or are you driving yourself crazy?”

In today\’s blog post I will be sharing with you what you can do if and when they drive you crazy. Parenting is a very rigorous and tedious job, at everytime there are emotions that flood our parenting journey, this is why I insist that if you are not working on your emotions you might be getting it all wrong.

The most important job of being a parent is staying encouraged because no matter how you want to look at it you will be discouraged from time to time. One of the greatest tools in parenting is to stay encouraged, this is why I say that being in a parenting academy is no longer negotiable.Join the Intentional Parent Academy Inner Circle here

What happens whenever you say that your children are driving you crazy is that:

1 . You Lack Knowledge On What To Do:
Not having any idea of how to handle your children can make you feel like they are driving you crazy and this lack of knowledge transmits to fear.

2 . You are afraid: You say those words when you are at your wit\’s end.

3 . You are discouraged: When you feel that you have done all you know but nothing is happening. One of the most important tools you need as a parent is to stay encouraged. You need a support system because when you become discouraged, you hate being a parent and it\’s a terrible place to be!

4 . You are disappointed :When it comes to parenting, it is not the steps you take that matter but the skills you acquire. You can quit your job to be present and connect but no magic will happen if you are present without skills and tools.The problem in parenting is not just connectivity and presence ,the problem is being present with tools and skills. A parent who is present with skills and tools will trump a parent who is present without skills and tools.

5. No encouragement. Kids are like arrows in the hands of parents and what we don\’t understand about the archery is that it requires that you aim, stay focused and shoot. This can also be said in parenting , it requires for you to have the skill to aim, focus, and shoot. The secrets to effective parenting are 1. Direction 2. Focus 3. Skills 4. Mindfulness

▪️ Direction: If you don\’t have direction, you\’ll end up going around in circles. Being led will get you to a place than without being led.

▪️ Focus: When parenting, the world pulls you from different sides and at same time judges you. You need a good support system that will help you remain focused and encouraged and that\’s what TIP Academy offers.

▪️ Skills: The truth is you can\’t give what you don\’t have. Over the weekend there was this buzz about T.D Jakes passing on the baton to his daughter because he had the blessings and passed it on to his daughter. The question for you to ask is, \”What skills do I have so that when I position myself well, I can aim and shoot so as to hit the bull’s eyes?”

▪️ Mindfulness: I always tell the parents in our inner circle program that an intentional parent is a thinking parent. In being mindful you think through the decisions that you are willing to make.

So at this point, you need to know the reasons WHY YOU FEEL THE WAY YOU DO, and here are some of the points that get you to that place:

1 . Lack of structure: Many of you parent without any structure, in our nigerian parlance I will equate this as \”doing things anyhow\” and this is what causes overwhelm, over scheduling , underscheduling and all of the pressure that you face. If you don\’t commit to a success you will continue to remain overwhelmed so your parenting needs a system to be effective.

2 . Parenting on probability : When you parent with probability you don\’t know with exactitude the outcome of your parenting. When you parent, it should be intentional and not on probability.

Signs to show that you are parentinv on probability :

1. Frustration
2. Complaints
3. Discouragement
4. Being afraid
5. Blowing things out of proportion
6. Resenting your kids(things they do annoy you)
7. Power struggle with them
8. Not saying NO when necessary, and feeling guilty for your decisions.

3 . No control of emotions: Emotions control is the bedrock of planning. I will give a little explanation of what happens to our brains- when you are stressed to the maximum and about to lose it and you have no emotional control, your prefrontal cortex ( part of the brain that does what we call higher function skills like logic, predicting the outcome of words and actions, impulse control, decision makings, focusing on attention, processing feelings of empathy, shame, etc.) gets flooded with stress hormone and the stress hormone puts you on a fight or flight mode. It happens to everyone but the ability to check it matters.

At this point, the nervous system has kicked in and you are no longer your normal self, and your body, being charged like that of a bear stops you from thinking in a sane manner. Emotion control helps you get into your calm. The difference between an emotional control parent and non emotional control parent is that the former deploys tools to use in order to process her calm.

So what do you do?

•Work on your emotions.
•Set up Routine, rituals, structure, and boundaries.
•Children thrive in predictability, security, safety, and freedom.

•Parent intentionally not on probability. Get knowledge about parenting. If parenting doesn\’t change you, then you are parenting wrongly.Intentional parenting changes you.
•Join a system that works. Enrol in a parenting academy for accountability and encouragement. TIP Academy offers such and much more. Join the waiting list for the Inner Circle program here

When it comes to parenting, I always tell parents that \”Assumption is the lowest form of knowledge.”

Thinking and believing that you need to mould your child into a \”perfect being” is the worst mistake you can make because there is no such thing as a perfect child. Believe when I tell you that there is no child that doesn\’t misbehave.

When your child misbehaves or acts out, there are reasons. It can be that they are:
•They are lost. They don\’t understand what\’s wrong with them.
•They are afraid and that\’s why your child lies, bickers, or becomes heady.
•They need guidance and because they don\’t know how to ask for it, they do it the way they know better.
•They seek attention. They need you to reassure them that you are with them.

Negative attention is better than no attention/connection.

Misbehaviour can push your parental buttons and you can only remain calm by applying the right skills and required knowledge. If you don\’t equip yourself with those required skills, you\’ll make a mess because a misbehaving child isn\’t a listening child.

A child who is defiant needs to connect with you and find their way back to calm, your child is not defiant because they are bad, your child is defiant because they are still learning and growing.

There are no bad children there are only parents who lack the required knowledge on how to help their children so if your child is struggling with behaviours it is because you don\’t know what to do.

If you have a child who is misbehaving, you need to realise that, that child is not the probleme, everytime I see a child who is struggling I see a parent who is ignorant.

One of the things you need to understand is that discipline is not an emergency, when you make it an emergency you make a mess and one of the ways you can practice discipline not being an emergency is to work on your emotions this is why you need to register for the master your emotions challenge here .

At this point someone will ask, \”Coach what do I need to do?

Here are some points.

1 . Apply the initial pause and calm. It is real work because you have to think, \”how do I respond to this?” The power of the initial nothing, is the road to calmer responses from you and that\’s where you get the emotionally responsible child. Your ability to master your emotions will be a determining factor for a lot of things for your child. While pausing you can ask questions like, “What guidance can I offer you at this point”, How can we both turn this moment around”

2. Believe that your child can do better.

There is something called “self fulfilling prophecies”, you need to be careful what you say in the phase of behaviours. Cursing your child out when they misbehave is a sign of lack of emotional control. When out of anger your say words to your child, do you know that they can become self fulfilling prophecies no matter your spiritual inclination.

Do you have faith enough that no matter how many mistakes your child makes that it is going to be worth it learning from your guidance , do you have faith that the skills you are acquiring is going to work?, do you believe your guidance will work even when difficulties show up? When children misbehave it\’s usually because they are stuck, when misbehaviors show up its usually because your child has no other way of letting you know that they are stuck, afraid, hurting and upset so at this point one of the things you should let your child know is that you believe that they can. In summary, you need to be kind, it really makes all the difference.

3 . Build skills in your child. An unskilled child will frustrate you. There are some essential life skills your child need and they are- Focus and self-control, Understanding another point of view or perspective taking, Communication, Taking on challenges, Critical thinking because when they make a mess, critical thinking takes place. Mistakes and mess are the pillars on which children who will be successful will be built. Mistakes prove that your child is thinking. If you want to learn more skills that your child would need to thrive in the 21st century then you need to join the inner circle program. Click here to join the waiting list for 2023 cohort here

4. Work on Your Emotions and Quit Reactivity:

The best way to work on your emotions at this moment is to join the master your emotions challenge. Want to walk this journey of mastering your emotions ?

Pay N5,000 instead of N10,000 to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040.

5. Make time for yourself :
One of the things you need to understand is that when you don\’t make time for yourself you will struggle because you are the base, you are the parent.

What are the things that increase misbehavior?

1. Inability to self-regulate: Many children cannot self regulate that\’s why misbehaviours are increasing instead of being worked on.
2. Stress
3. Lack of habits that last and skills that transform.
4. Wrong parenting styles.
5. Not understanding the child and developmental level.

6. Unpredictability. Your child needs to know what you are capable of doing at any given time. Children thrive on routine and structure.Unpredictability is the enemy of your parenting.

Recently someone I know shared with me how she was struggling with anger. She booked a one-on-one session so we can unravel where it was coming from; Stress, relationships, upbringing, etc.

As always it was childhood. She told me how their home was full of anger growing up. In her words

“I grew up in an anger-filled home, my mother was always angry about everything we did, My father was a saddist , he was always angry and shouting. We were never allowed to make mistakes. I realized that I get irritated anytime my children make mistakes; I am constantly reacting the same way I saw my parents would react.

When I see my children playing it irritates me because we were never taught to play but to be serious and be of our best behavior at all times. I used to think this made us better adults but after I became a parent and reading your books, I realized it made more mess than I can imagine.

I am seeing myself creating the same kind of home I was raised in, and I hated it and still hate yet I can’t help it, that’s all I know coach, I know I need help “.

A young man shared how he learned his emotions management skills as a Child in a video I shared yesterday.

In his words “I saw you my mother and my father responding the same way when you are angry”.

The interesting part of this conversation was that this parent was shocked! Her response was

“But what you are describing happened 20 years ago, you were only 9 years”.

This showed me how much many parents don’t understand why childhood is critical to human beings.

Building our subconscious happens in childhood, and proven researches in psychology say that about 90% of what we do come from our subconscious.

The subconscious is formed between 1-7years of childhood.

Does that mean anything to you?

Many of us enter our parenting relationship wounded from our childhood and many times these experiences make a mess of who we became and that is what we eventually project on our children.

One of the biggest factors is our emotions, mastering our emotions and learning to overcome these wounds must be an intentional walk.

At our Upcoming challenge \”Master your Emotions \” online course at the academy we lead you to start walking of healing of these experiences.

The early bird fee is 5,000 till 29th September instead of 10,000 ….You can take this class from anywhere in the world. We have over 350 parents already registered for this challenge.

Pay N5,000 instead of N10,000 to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040.
You can register online here: https://selar.co/MYEchallenge

Are you willing to unlearn this on your parenting journey?

Parenting experience at the core of its success is your ability to manage your emotions. Some parents think that staying calm in the face of misconduct is easier said than done because they find it difficult to implement the information they have on parenting when faced with issues.
Parenting is an emotional journey/experience so being emotionally calm doesn\’t translate to you becoming calm when the child is doing what he ought not to do.

The human brain has logical part and emotional parts. The logical part of the brain helps you stay sane while the emotional part stirs up reactivity such as yelling screaming, and hitting.

In the face of chaos, reacting the same way as your child doesn\’t help because you have allowed the emotional part of your brain to take control and you end up not handling the situation the right way. Dealing with your emotions requires proactivity and not reactivity. In parenting, times of frustration, hurt, disappointment, and confusion overwhelms you and that\’s why every parent needs parental support.

So when you appear vulnerable to the situation and the triggers( frustration, anger, and helplessness) stir up, they get you to the point where they erupt your limitations, shame, and fears, and also trigger experiences from your childhood, and with that fear, you react and make a mess of the situation.

Be it as it may, how do you manage or handle your emotions when you are faced with these triggers?

1. Take Responsibility For Your Emotions. Most of the time, parents love the blame game. You think or assume that your child is the reason why you feel the way you do or react. When your emotions control you, you can end up destroying your child and not help him learn how to deal with life. Managing emotions is a critical skill for parents who want to raise children so that anger won\’t destroy tomorrow. Master your emotions because you are the reason and the solution!

2. Change Your Perspective. By and large, the problem lies in the tackling of issues from the parent\’s point of view of \”always being right.” Thinking differently makes you less angry. When your child is unruly or floors the rules, your reaction matters. Rules are meant to be tried and tested by your child but it is your job to guide them in the appropriate way. It is your job to let him know that there are consequences for every action but when you try to control the child, he recoils or becomes extremely rebellious. Your reactivity doesn\’t teach him but your proactivity with the right knowledge makes the difference.

3. Learn How To Be Calm. Calmness is a vital skill every parent should possess. It is a state of being silent in the midst of chaos. It is not about personality. Some people are introverts and not calm.

4.Learn Communication Skills. Giving instructions is quite different from communicating. Healthy communication skill is the key to managing emotions.

5.Choose Your Battles. Some battles require fighting back while some require saying nothing but watching. It takes wisdom to know when to fight back or stay calm. Disciplining your child isn\’t down instantly when situations arise. It is a private affair. Your discipline is to guide your child in order to help them learn and not punish them for their mistakes.

6. Get Parenting Support. Scars of parenting errors can leave you marred for life. As a parent, you need to have a good support structure that makes you accountable and keeps you in check. You don\’t have to run on your own.

Do you often find yourself losing your cool and yelling at your children?

Do you find yourself verbally abusing because you feel verbal abuse is better than physical abuse?

Don\’t kid yourself, verbal abuse can be worse. It happens to many parents, but it doesn\’t have to continue with you.

It is possible to change and enjoy a calmer life because of it!

Yes it is!!

With our upcoming \” MASTER YOUR EMOTIONS CHALLENGE\” , you\’ll learn practical, simple solutions, tools, strategies, guides & motivation to replace aggression and reactivity in your parenting with calm, peace & Thinking.

Whether you have one child or twenty (or one you still yell at who is twenty), strengthen your relationships and maybe even laugh a little more–by taking this CHALLENGE today.

Want to walk this journey with US?

Pay #3,499 instead of #10,000 to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040.

You can register online here: https://selar.co/MYEchallenge

Be Intentional.
©Wendy Ologe
Parent Coach & Author

There are many things that I wish parents knew about parenting , recently I started compiling a lot of things I wish parents knew , eventually I am going to put it out in a book because there are too many things in my head but I first thought to share snippets in this blogpost that would help in your parenting.

I wish that parents knew that ……..

1. Children are made by their habits: What you will need to raise a child who will thrive are habits that last and skills that transform. Children are made by their habits , children who grow up with certain characters can be traced back to certain habits that they must have picked up as children. Habits are built in trickles, you don’t wake up and decide to form those habits.

2. Parenting is First About You: I wish that parents knew that parenting is first about you not the child , church or school. I know that I mentioned first that children are made by their habits but behaviors are learnt but they are are caught more than they are taught. Many times we don’t realize that the way out children behave are as a result of our actions.
Before you go on your journey of parenting you need to go back to your drawing board and question yourself and the things you believe in. Many children become who they become because their parents are parenting with our knowledge. The more knowledge your acquire , the more it rubs off on your child.

3. The World Is A Score Keeper: The world does not reward mediocrity , the world is not that tiny place in your bedroom, your child is the earner and learner of the scores. The world , the school , your environment, your child’s marriage are all score keepers. Your duty is to teach your child how to earn those scores and how to learn to earn those scores. The world won’t just hand over things to your child because they tried , they must learn to earn their scores.

4. Parenting Comes With A Manual: For a long times I have heard people say that parenting has no manual but it will shock you to know that what works for you is not what works in the real sense of it and I have said every time that you can love your child and destroy them.Whether your realize it or not , we are all parenting with a manual whether it was handed over to you by your parents or environment but no one parents in a vacuum . So the question is what are you really parenting from? Some of your manuals have loopholes , some are delivering mediocrity and not excellence , if you find that your manual is not working for you , trash it today and develop what would work for you. Any generation that cannot produce a better system is a failed generation, you need to look at what your parents did, look out for where they failed and reinvent it.Any parenting without a structure and a plan is a failed system and only a manual offers you such. It’s a failed system to think that you can just wake up and start parenting. If you are looking for a manual for your parenting , you need to join the Inner Circle Program.

5. Connection is Everything: Children are bothered about how they felt about their childhood, children are bothered about how secured they feel with you, all the material gifts you give to them doesn’t really matter. If you knew how much connection means to your child you will drop everything. If you connect with your child more , you will do better. Connection is at the bedrock of parenting, when connection is strong children are more wired to comply to rules and instructions. Part of what we do in the academy is to provide daily connection tools where you are held accountable to connect with your children, it’s one thing to be present and another thing to have content with your presence.

6.Schools Only Support What You Have Inculcated In Your Children: What a school does is to build on what you have already imbibed in your children. You as a parent are the most important piece in the academic success of your child. I wish you knew how important you are to the success of your children in the school system. If you knew this , your choice of school will be different.

7.Children Blossom Under Responsibilities:
A child raised to be responsible gives you less worry.The more responsible a child become, the more they are likely to succeed in other areas of life. Children without responsibility don\’t really blossom that much and far.If you are in the waiting list of the academy , you need to know that part of our core is to teach your children responsibility. I am beginning to see a disturbing trend of children becoming irresponsible , where we have created a system of bail out for our children.

8. Screen time is not an advantage to a child but a disadvantage: If you recognize this you will be more conscious of how you expose your children to screen.

9. What discipline is about: Discipline is not about screaming, jumping, shouting, banging head. Discipline is first of all training, discipline involves grooming of children

If your child does the right thing only when you\’re around, then there is something wrong. If discipline is done right, you will struggle less.The most abused subjects in the journey of parenting is discipline, It\’s often used carelessly and applied haphazardly.

10. Parenting is war:

There is a need for conscious, deliberate strategy on how to succeed.You have to plan ahead of a war, so is parenting, you have to plan ahead of the journey.

When you do things with knowledge, you stand a better chance of being successful.
We should parent by intentionality and NOT by probability. How are you fighting this parenting war: ignorantly or knowledgeably?

According to Ecclesiastes 10:15:The labour of the foolish wearieth every one of them, because he knoweth not how to go to the city. Wisdom is the things that other people know that you don\’t know and seek out ways to know them.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE INNER CIRCLE

1. HOW MUCH DOES THIS COST?

The annual subscription fee for the program is N70, 000 .

You book a slot at the enquiry desk with a non-refundable fee of N5,000 for 2023 cohort, and pay your annual fee of N65,000 which you can decide to pay at once N70,000

1. CAN I PAY ON INSTALLMENTS?

Yes, after the initial non-refundable fee of N5,000, you can spread the fee through the year (2-3 installments) but you must have completed payment before we resume on 1st December 2022.

1. CAN MY SPOUSE ENROLL?

Yes couple fee is N120,000 instead of N140,000 (Registration inclusive), so you get to save N20,000 as a couple, because we want to encourage couples to go on this journey together.

1. DO WE STILL HAVE SLOTS?

We currently have slots booked to over 80% of our capacity, and we will stop registration as soon as max our capacity. Slots are filling up quickly, so jump on-board now.

5. HOW DO I MAKE PAYMENT?

Simply book by using this link https://selar.co/tipinnercircle or make direct payment to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy, then send a chat with proof of payment to 08129687040.

As the new school year is resuming what plan have you put in place? A new school session always poses some form of challenge for every child. In preparing your child for a new school year, it is not only preparing for academics, I have found that a lot of parents have this notion.

Preparing your child for back-to-school starts immediately after the closure of the previous school year. The real reason why back-to-school plans are important is that you need to send your children back to school ready to learn and you need to plan every area of their lives.

In getting ready for the new school year, you need to plan their sleep , nutrition , morning routines etc. Preparations for the new school year is divided into 5 areas and we will be sharing fully on these 5 areas in the back to school masterclass coming up from the 5th to 7th of September.You can join the masterclass here.At the back to school this year , we will be teaching how to prepare your child : Socially , Emotionally,Health wise and how to maintain and sustain success in school.

For today\’s blogpost, we will be focusing on the academic aspect of preparing for back to school and this starts with the kind of school your child is attending and what they are doing currently. Every school is not for every child , choosing a school is not about how expensive a school is but how they meet your child\’s needs .

QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE CHOOSING A SCHOOL FOR YOUR CHILD ….

If you are on the verge of changing school for your child or even starting a new session in their previous school, read this. If you are a teacher or a school owner, this is also for you.

Ask the school these question.

1. Does my Family Value align with the value of this school?

A school can be great yet might not necessarily be your focus on raising the kind of child you want! For instance, if you are focused on skills as a value, you need to find a school that can complement your efforts.

2. Does this school support my child’s learning style?

Unfortunately, the traditional school system mostly supports Auditory learners and sometimes visual; if your child is a kinesthetic Learner like my son, he would struggle.

As your parent, your primary role is to first understand your child’s learning style.

3. Safety and security :

Children spend considerable hours of their day in school and it becomes of utmost importance that the safety of children is given due consideration. A safe environment creates an open space for them to explore, learn and grow.

Ask the school for their safety procedures followed in the school in all the areas.

Safety on their person
Sexuality safety; ask for their safety plan on this. Fire safety; ask about the infrastructure on this.

4. Is this school meant for my child?

Every school is not for every child, that a school is great doesn’t necessarily mean it’s for your child. For instance, a child who is gifted in sports should have a school that can support this gifting.

5. Welfare and Quality of Teachers :

This is not just about qualifications because Teaching-learning is an ever-evolving process, so, ensure that the school organizes regular workshops and training for the teachers to keep them up-to-date.

Does the school management should spend a great deal of time, energy, and resources on providing intensive training programs to update the knowledge and upgrade the skills of their teachers.

6. What is The student-teacher ratio? This ensures proper attention and care can be provided to every student.

7. What kind of Curriculum /co-curriculum activities do they run?

the curriculum doesn’t refer to just books and notebooks, it’s the totality of students’ experiences during the educational process.

Any curriculum that will help a child thrive must be child-centric with a focus on learning and practicing the core subject skills as well as Life Skills like English Conversation, Thinking Skills, Personality Development, etc.

Co-curricular activities are an integral part of the school curriculum and help in enhancing the learning process of students. They help in enhancing the social and intellectual skills, moral values, and personalities of the students.

Before you send your child to any school Understand beforehand the curriculum followed and the co-curricular activities offered in the school.

8. What is the school Policy on Discipline? I have seen parents go to beat teachers or fight the school because of the disciplinary strategy used in a school. Before your child enroll in a school; ask how disciplinary issues are handled!

9. What resources are available to help a
child when he or she is struggling:

Providing learning resources and intervention isn’t restricted to children with special needs or learning difficulties, so ensure you ask about a school’s intervention program for Learners who will struggle with aspects of learning along their academic journey.

10. What is Their Early Years Program Like?

As a parent of a child between the ages of 2 and 5, you should ask specific questions about the early childhood program because this is the foundation of your child\’s educational path.
•What is the teacher-to-pupil ratio?
•Is the teaching experiential and hands-on?
•Do they teach using the play way method?
•Does the school provide child development classes that involve practical life activities, and sensorial education?
Is the learning Process child- centered.

We have over 30 questions you must ask before you take your child to a new school; we will be sharing this at the masterclass we are hosting at the academy this September 5th -7th.

To join the BACK TO SCHOOL MASTER CLASS, Pay #5,000 ($13) instead of #20,000 ( $26) to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040. You can register online here: https://selar.co/B2Smasterclass

Benefits attached to this webinar lol when you register include ; Resources worth N42,000 ($100) only for N5,000 ($13) ; if you are able to make payment for the early bird .

•FREE Parent-Teacher Guide worth #2,000

•FREE Parent-Teacher Master Class worth #10,000

•FREE access to the Back To School Master Class 1.0 worth #20,000

A copy of The BACK TO SCHOOL BUNDLE,
Worth 10k Containing :

-A back To school affirmation Pack

-The Parent School Support Template

-Preparing your Child for Boarding school Template

-School routine planner

-School Structure Blueprint

-Meal Planner

-Daily School Preparation planner

-School accountability planner

-30 day Connection Tool

-30 day affirmation pack for toddlers

You can register online here: https://selar.co/B2Smasterclass

Every time we talk about raising children with strong moral values, most people think that we are advocating for raising perfect children or raising children who always obey you at all times but that\’s not the conversation of the day. In this blog post, you will be learning what you can do to raise children who are negative influence proof.

In the words of Theodore Roosevelt “To educate a person in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace in society” and if you look around you today you will agree with me that this is not just about raising our children to have a sound mind but have zero in character. In my years of working with parents, one of the mistakes I have seen is that parents pay attention to the mind and they never pay attention to character and truly character is what makes a person.

In recent times we have been talking about sex conversations, and not long after the media was filled with the unfortunate story of R.Kelly.In a viral post I made, R.Kelly is a product of a failed family system, He was a brilliant mind, and had so much talent to offer the world but he has become someone who is now tainted as an Ex-convict for life. The interesting thing is that R-Kelly grew up in a Christian home but there were fundamental things that were missing in his upbringing like education of character, education of value system, and paying attention to the family as a whole. In that post I mentioned that no one is born promiscuous, gay, or bisexual, this happens as a result of how we are programmed in childhood.

When it comes to raising children with strong moral values, you must realize that you can not leave it to chance, anything you leave to chance cannot succeed. In parenting it\’s either you parent by probability or by intentionality, whichever what you choose to go, you must recognise that there is a price. Values are important for you to live, they are too important for you to live them to the school system . Schools have tried to preach morals but are having a hard time doing it, the reason is simple: the window of an opportunity to lay a foundation for strong morals ends by the time your child is 6 so they school systems encounters a barrier when instilling values in children over 6. In my study of the Japanese system, I learned that their children learn morals and character before they learn to teach the mind this is why you can trade with trust in the whole of Japan as a nation.

The question is not whether we should teach values or not, the question is what are we teaching? Children learn moral values by observation, drawing conclusions about what they think and your children’s values will emerge from those conclusions.

When a child is born you are at the top most influential stage, this is typically between the ages of 0 to 7, by the time a child turns 8 you begin to change position, their peer group becomes the most influential person in their lives, followed by the other adults in their lives, media and then you as their parent. In all of this, there is still a twist to it, research proves that the stronger relationship you have with your child the more his word and the opinions of his peers is filtered through the values they picked up from you. So in order words relationship trumps control in parenting.Do you know how to influence your children?

How do you influence your child\’s moral values?

• Teach Them Moral Competencies: We dedicate the month of November to teaching moral competence in the Inner circle program.
  
  Join The Inner Circle Program Here
  
  These moral competencies include:
  Fairness, Empathy, Decency, Self-sacrifice, Loyalty, Honesty, Responsibility, Service, Honour. A child with strong moral values will become a happy adult. According to Martin Selvat (a happiness expert), happiness is a result of developing character strength. And character strength includes Humility, Self-control, Love for learning, Industriousness, leadership, caution, chastity, dependability and the 10 self-concepts in parenting. These 10 self-concepts will be broadened during the upcoming sex educate your child like a pro challenge.

2. Make It Relevant To His World: If a conversation or value system isn\’t relevant to your child\’s world you will miss it. The first thing to consider while instilling value is to make it relevant. You must realize that values are not theory, they are very practical.

How To Make Values Relevant: Create your family values: If you don\’t have a family value, mission, and vision you are headed nowhere as a parent. Every family is created to fulfill a purpose and if that purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable. If your family values are not documented, it is not valuable. Get our family value guide here

3. What are You Modelling? Many of us will achieve a better result in parenting not because we are better, not because we are perfect but because we are intentional. If you are intentional about what you are modeling, a lot of things won\’t happen. For instance, I see parents say things like we don\’t lie in our family, we are honest people but many of the times that value is not lived intentionally because you do not have an accountability system that holds you accountable for the things you and do not do. When you become a parent you lose the privilege of behaving anyhow. If your parenting is not changing you, then you are not parenting well because parenting is designed to recreate you as an individual. This is why part of the modules for the upcoming sex educate your child like a pro challenge is centered around you as the most important piece because I have found that when you become a parent a lot of things are centered around you. I love my child and I know what is good for my child is not a parenting plan, parenting plans are filled with structures, and knowledge-based and have a well-thought-out accountability plan to back it up so your parenting structure is created to reform you.

4. Create An Intentional Social Roadmap For Your Genzer: These days we are parenting from a lot of fears, we are raising children who are locked down and shut up inside your house. I learned from the onset that the environment you raise your child will affect who that child becomes later on in life, because we are a product of parenting programming including what happens in our environment and you cannot influence the friends your child eventually makes but you can influence their environment by creating a system from day one.Influence is a key tool teenagers use to learn and social connections is one of the most important things to a teenager and you can\’t take it away.

Your teenager must be influenced by their peers but the question is if the influence will be positive of negative. I have seen friends of my daughter become book worms my interacting with her and I have also seen my daughter become more social because she has a friend who is social. The influence your child\’s peers will have on them, you cannot match it.

7 in 10 Number of children have inadvertently viewed online pornography.When most people think about child sexual abuse, they think of those children in which an adult has touched a child in an inappropriate way. But there are also non-touching forms of sexual abuse.

In the age of fast moving tech there are new victims.. Those who are abused without being touched. How do you deal with this?

This is why we created this SEX-EDUCATE YOUR CHILD LIKE A PRO CHALLENGE and made it accessible to everyone. Your child might become a victim of abuse even without any adult touching them…

Who is in your child\’s environment? Don\’t access this knowledge alone, Sex educating a child requires that everyone in the circle of the child know what to do.

Get everyone in your circle into this challenge; sex education has a new dimension and we will be recreating that dimension for you at this challenge.

Dont just pay for yourself, get other people in your circle of influence to join.We now have over 2,500 parents registered for this challenge and we have only a FEW slots to close registrations tomorrow.

To Join the Sex Educate Your Child Like A Pro Challenge, pay #2,000 to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy. Send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040.

Or you can JOIN online https://selar.co/SexeducationchallengePartner with us to reach more parents.

This month we have been discussing all you need to know about sex conversation, and today we are looking at why sex conversation must be age-appropriate.

Sex conversation is a big deal today. A lot of parents have issues with sex conversations. They do not know where to start nor do they know how to start. They do not know what to say. One of the things that we are going to be doing at our upcoming Sex Educates Your Child Like a Pro Challenge is that we are going to share an overview of the goals that you seek to accomplish and also share different strategies and tips that you can use to accomplish those goals as regards sex conversations. Sex conversation is a big deal and we want you to understand that if you are not having this conversation someone else somewhere will have this conversation for you.

Reasons why your sex conversation must be age-appropriate

1. Sex conversation must be done honestly, knowledgeably, and structurally: Effective sex conversation must be honest, it must be knowledgeable and it must be structural that is one of the reasons why you must have it in the age-appropriate way. When you structure your conversation, you are going to realize that it is supposed to be said in a certain way. If you ask me when sex conversations should start, it starts as soon as you have a child. I have said over and again that the moment you have a child, you start a sex conversation so sex conversation must be done honestly, it must be done knowledgeably and it must be structured.

Many of us learned the truth about our bodies when we were older, some of us learned it when we were much younger and we never really learned it from our parents that is why structure is required. In the Academy part of what we have helped our parents do is to structure how they are having this conversation. Our children need conversations about their bodies, their sexuality, the normalcy of life, and sex. This is one of the reasons why you must share sex conversations have it honestly, knowledgeably, and structurally

1. Children learn best from repeated exposure to a subject: I usually say that what makes someone learn is when you make an impression, and you cannot make an impression without repetition. A child does not learn without you first making an impression and for you to have made an impression there has to be repetition, so your children can only learn via repetition, that is why repeated exposure to the subject is important, and if you start this exposure as early as possible, there\’s something we call the “cumulative time factor” – the cumulative time factor begins to help your child to be able to internalize some of those things that we are talking about.
2. You need to practice talking about sex without getting embarrassed: You cannot practice talking about says except you are armed with knowledge, which is why I said it has to be shared honestly, knowledgeably, and structurally. So it is the knowledge that actually gives you the confidence to say to yourself: “I know what I am doing” and that\’s where you get the confidence not to be embarrassed. I see quite a number of parents talk about vagina, talk about penis in a very cringe manner, even as you are reading this blog post, so many of you are cringing. Can you explain the difference between gender confusion, gender neutrality, homosexuality, and heterosexuality without stumbling on your words? If you cannot, then you need knowledge. If you talk to your toddler about their genitals while they are taking their bath, you need to understand losing the cringe factor that way, when it\’s time for tougher conversations, you now have laid a solid foundation. The reason why you need to start this conversation early is so that you can actually lay a foundation for having these conversations. It is very important.
3. Talking about consent throughout your child\’s life lays the foundation for a healthy relationship later: It is from this that you begin to lay the foundation. Do you know that when you are not confident about what you are saying your children can actually pick it up? This is where the foundation is laid; so for those of you who are asking me, should I have started sex education, my children is just one month? You should have started the day the child was born. It\’s important that you actually explain it to understand where you should start and how. Some of the things that you need to begin to talk about is that, you start affirming your newborn baby. As a person, affirmation is actually a sex conversation, because this message is your effort absorbed moment by moment early in their life which set the stage for healthy identity, gender identification, and gender confusion. If you need to sort it out, you start from day one. If you wait until your child is already 10, you are going to be applying the fire brigade approach. Ask the parents who started at 10 then when they become aware, and before they become familiar you have to actually be able to arm yourself with the knowledge. You are only able to help your children according to the level of your knowledge, the same thing in sex conversation and it will also interest you to note that drug conversation is part of sex conversation. You need to begin to develop better communication skills regarding their body, build a Media Plan, etc.

Part of what you must have when getting into the Academy is a Media Plan.

Join the waitlist for the Inner Circle Here

You cannot parent without these structures, remember I said that sex conversation must be had honestly, knowledgeably, and structurally. Children learn more from what we do than what we say, it is also very key with this conversation. If you start this conversation with dishonesty, you have already eroded the trust process. Let me say this: “Trust is the highest currency in sex conversation”, once you have sent your children the message that you are untrustworthy or that you are too uncomfortable to be a source of information about sex, they are less likely to choose you as their primary source of information in the future.

At the Sex Educate Your Child Like a Pro Challenge, I am going to give out a 30-day Guide for you to be able to have this conversation structurally. What I have done in that Guide is share how you can begin to have your age-appropriate sex conversations. Unfortunately, parents still don\’t understand that Sex Education isn\’t all about touching the Private part and public parts. If you don\’t have a well on documented and adhered-to Family media plan in your home, you are kidding… Because your child\’s environment is the first place you MUST start when you are starting this conversation.

We now have 2,000 plus and these parents will be receiving my latest book on 30 days guide for the upcoming Challenge; Sex Educate Your Child like a pro we will show you exactly what else you Must include in your conversations. If you are still at this level of Sex Education, please repeat and learn

To Join the Sex Educate Your Child Like A Pro Challenge, Pay N2,000 to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy. Send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040 or You can JOIN online here: https://selar.co/Sexeducationchallenge

The conversation of puberty is not one you start when your children gets to the stage of puberty, it is one you start even before they gets there. One of the first questions I ask parents every time regarding puberty is \”How Prepared Are You\”?

Whenever you start conversations around puberty, it agitates parents because puberty conversation is a big deal.When it comes to gender confusion with children going through puberty today is on the high side. When you x-ray statistics on porn addiction, you will find that African countries are found among the first five countries globally.

Most people think that gender confusion only happens abroad but the current reality shows that this happens everywhere including in our country. If you don\’t equip your child with all they need to know they will be confused. It doesn\’t matter what you know, if you don\’t know how to parent you will fail at it.

The only way to get out of what is happening in this era is to get knowledge. Knowledge is a pre-requisite for parenting in the 21st century.

The typical age range for girls to start puberty is the age of 7 to 13, it\’s also been found that before a child gets fully into puberty they have already begun the pre-puberty stage. Boys also go through puberty, the typical age for boys to reach puberty is the age of 9.

You are to start the puberty conversation before your child reaches puberty and the sex conversation should start as soon as your child is born. You start your sex conversation the moment you have a child because sex conversations are first non-verbal.

A lot of people come to me to ask \”Coach what do I do? how do I start? When do I start? The answer is this :You are to start the moment you have a child. You don\’t prepare for war at war, you plan before you get to war.

Sex conversations are first non-verbal so you start it before your child is verbal. I have seen a lot of wrong sex conversation education, people advocating that sex education should start by the age of 5. (Are you kidding)? There is so so much to teach that you cannot plan what to teach when you get to puberty.

When we talk about the cumulative advantage in parenting it also applies to your sex education. A child who started having these conversations at a non-verbal stage will have an advantage over a child who starts having these conversations at the age of 10.

HOW TO PREPARE YOUR CHILD FOR PUBERTY

1. You need to Equip Yourself First: It is foolishness to think that you know everything that you need to raise a child just because you gave birth to your child. \”This is why the scripture says that my people perish from the lack of knowledge\”. Unfortunately, we were not equipped with answers so therefore it is almost impossible for you to teach what you don\’t know. The sex conversations our parents gave us were fear-based sex conversations, when you give your children fear-based sex conversations you are disempowering them instead of empowering them. You must understand that when it comes to sex conversations, it is not about policing your child, controlling or instilling fear it is about empowering them. How your child will make choices is about how empowered they are /feel.

When you empower your children they are able to make decisions irrespective of our presence, when you disempower your child you make them dependent on you and that\’s not the aim of sex conversation, the aim of sex conversation is that a child feels empowered to deliver void of your presence. You also need to learn about conversations that will determine sex choices, sex conversation is not about the mechanics of sex.

2 You Must Teach Your Children about self-esteem and how to live it: You don\’t teach self-esteem by writing it on the board, there is a process. If you must share sex conversations that are valuable, your girl child must understand self-esteem like their name and your boy child must understand self-control like their name. In the school of sex conversations, the curriculum is you.

3. You Must Teach Sex Control: No matter how much you teach about the mechanics of sex it can never empower your child to make decisions what empowers your child is the ability to make decisions. Your children are sexual beings and if they ever come in contact with sex they will enjoy it this is why you must teach self-control. In the upcoming sex educate your child like a pro, we will be teaching how to teach your children to have self-control.

4. You Must Teach Self-Confidence: Self-esteem and self-confidence are not the same things, anyone who lacks self-confidence will be molested and make wrong choices

5. You Must Teach Self Identity: The truth of the matter is that children do a lot of the things they do because they don\’t know who they are, they lack self-identity.There is a way you will see yourself, there are things that you will never do.

6. You Must Teach Self Worth: Your child must know and understand the worth of their being. Many children do not know the worth of their being.

7. You Must Teach Self Discovery. There is a way you will discover your life in template, there are some things you cannot do.

8. You must teach Self Leadership: If a child cannot lead themselves, they cannot make decisions.

9. You must teach Self Expression

10. You must teach Self Awareness

11.You must teach self values, principles, and vision.

Puberty begins the process of transitioning from childhood to adulthood.

OTHER CONVERSATIONS YOU MUST HAVE WITH YOUR CHILD ARE:

1. Porn Literacy
2. Gender Confusion
3. Family Values: If there is no family values your child will be prone to anything, once you get into the inner circle we command you to produce a family value system.

You Can Join The Waitlist For The Inner Circle Program Here

Sex conversations are bigger than pointing out the public and private parts. Many parents today are afraid of discussing sex with their children, but it is important to know that there is no vacuum in parenting.

Whatever you are not teaching your child, someone or something is teaching your child. There are many factors determining how we have these conversations. And this inhibits sexual conversation in our parenting journey.

Last year we started the SEX EDUCATE YOUR CHILD LIKE A PRO CHALLENGE 1.0 and we had almost 3,000 parents in that challenge. One thing that remained constant as a review from parents who attended the first challenge was “I thought I knew anything about sex conversation, everything here is new to me”.

We have opened up registration for S3X EDUCATE LIKE A PRO 2.0 !! This one is an upgrade of last year\’s challenge, so even if you were there last year, this is new knowledge again.

We already have almost 300 parents registered for this challenge less than 48 hours after launch. We are also giving out a 30-day of Sex education like a pro guide to the first 400 persons to register. Remember 300 slots are already gone.

See details to register: Register Here: https://selar.co/Sexeducationchallenge Or make direct payment to Pay to 0509494057.The Intentional Parent Academy (GT Bank). Then send a chat to 08129687040 with proof of payment.

When we talk about impact, I realize that several people do not understand what impact is about, when parents talk about the parenting goals they say things like I just want to raise a good, obedient child. Even though there is nothing wrong with raising a good child, there is everything wrong with raising a good child who cannot thrive.

One of the things I have seen is that we do not understand the difference between raising children who are obedient and raising children who can make an impact. You can raise a child who is obedient but foolish, I am going to take a cue from the conversation in the bible that talks about the foolish virgins, when people talk about the foolish virgins, they talk about it from the light of, that the foolishness of the virgins came from not knowing what to do but on the other hand I think it\’s actually not that, the story of the 10 virgins is a typical example of being obedient, yet unskilled.

A few months ago we read a book by Malcolm Gladwell called the Outliers, this is a book we reviewed in the Inner circle program, it was talking about the \”Whatelses\” Your child is smart, brilliant, obedient but what else do they bring to the table? The Whatelses are things that made the difference. The environment is a key factor in how you raise your children. During the just-concluded healing Course, Isaac Onoja one of my co-facilitators said that 80% of who we become is linked to the environment and that environment includes who raised you.\” Who raised you is a determining factor to who you become\”, the environment, the era and the culture of where you were raised.

What Are The Determining Factors Of Raising Children That Can Change Their World?
Some factors will determine if this child is headed towards making an impact.

1. The Matthew Effect: The Matthew Effect is a key determining factor in how your child will make an impact. The Matthew Effect was adapted from the book of Matthew 25 vs 29: For every one that hath shall be given and he shall have abundance: but from him, that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath. Opportunities not fully utilized can never be gotten, making an impact will go beyond personality, how intelligent your child is, lifestyle, inborn talents, etc. it is about the development and grooming.

No matter how great the seed is, if it is not nurtured and given the attention it will not blossom. That is why the bible talks that time and chance happen to them all, time is the preparation, and chance is the opportunity. The reason why people who have to keep getting is because success is not only attributed to merit, it is the ingredient in the success that makes for success. So you need to ask yourself if you are fully utilizing the opportunities that you have.

1. Skills: Acquiring skills gives you influence and elevates you because you worked to develop yourself and you are seen because the system rewards you. You want to raise an impactful child and yet the child has zero skills. Impact people are people who give value to their world, the simple definition of impact is value.

You cannot become more, without being skilled. If your child cannot offer anything good to the world, they cannot make an impact. The world is looking for value, what your child can offer. The question you need to ask yourself today is, What can my child offer? Going back to the story of the 10 virgins, the wise virgins were called wise because they were more skilled, they remembered the extras, the foolish virgins were prepared like the wise virgins, in fact, if there was no eventuality they would have been among the wise ones. They were called foolish because they lacked the “Whatelses” or the extras. When you are raising your children, what will make you raise impactful children are the Whatelses.In the bible, everyone who was great has the extras. David, Samson, Joseph, etc

1. Hardwork: Smart work involves taking your time to understand the problem, to get an efficient strategy, to get a workable execution plan, and trust me this takes time. Smart work is about efficiency not lazing around. Smart work is not easy work, you need to stop hiding your children from adversity. There is no impactful person that I have read in my life, that is not a hard worker. If you miss the part of raising children who are not smart workers you will raise a foolish child.

Hard work is never ancient, it remains valid. Successful people work hard, there is nobody you see flying high that does not work hard. It also takes hard-working to sustain impact.

1. Accumulative Advantage(The 10-hour Rule): Research has proven over and again that how to achieve success is if you put in the 10,000-hour rule. This says that you can become a genius, you can become an impact maker, or an expert if you put in 10,000 hours on a task or a field of expertise, this 10,000 hour equals to 10 years of accumulative Advantage and diligence. It is required to practice the 10,000 hour rule to achieve any level of mastery associated with being an expert in anything that you do.It takes the brain that number of hours to master any skill. This has been proven over and over again. Practice is not what you do once you are good , practice is what you do over and over again that makes you good~ Malcolm Gladwell

Here is the downside of this 10,000 hour rule, the time is so long that it is practically impossible for you to reach that number by yourself by the time you are a young adult, it is totally impossible. You must have parents who understand this and support you and it has to be intentional and structured. Have you ever wondered why our athletes are not at their peak,they are not exceptional? It is because they didn\’t get to complete the 10,000 hour practice rule,they didn\’t get to complete it before starting to play at that level. You cannot compete with a child who started gymnastics at the age of 4 with another child who starts at the age of 17,the 10000 hour rule will count against you and this is what happens in Africa we are raising children who do not have mastery.
Part of what we do in the inner circle is to create structures that give your children mastery on a daily basis, if you do not follow structure your children cannot achieve it,they cannot reach the 10 hour rule because it takes a lot of structure for your children to be able to achieve this and their is no impact without mastery.

YOU CAN JOIN THE INNER CIRCLE HERE

If you see anyone who is able to deliver ,go and ask them the 10000 rule has applied in their favour. There is a how to every success in life ,especially parenting success.You must have what it is you are giving,what truly distinguishes the history of great men is not the extraordinary talent they have but the extra ordinary opportunities they utilise wisely.

5.The Parenting Advantage: Who raised you will be a determining factor of what you become , there are opportunities that will never come to you because of who raised you.The access to knowledge you have as a parent will be directly proportional to the kind of impact that your child will make. There are a lot of people who have been raised with parenting advantage , Chimamanda Adichie is one of them, she has an advantage.

Parenting is war, the success of you children is dependent on how much war you have fought for them, that\’s their footing , that will be the platform they start from. There are ingredients for success, the fact that your child is smart and talented doesn\’t make for success, it is about grooming and development. No matter how good the seed is, if you don\’t pay attention to nurture that seed it will not blossom. There must be something you know, that sets your children apart.

Fathers Play one of the most important roles in their families unfortunately we are having more fathers absent either by being physically absent or lack of involvement.

Research has found that the problem of absent fathers leads to higher divorce rates, destructive and negative changes in family structures, behavior problems in children, violence among teens, and moral decadence.

However, over the years of working with parents, I have personally found like many other researchers that fathers are absent due to their own lost sense of identity and lack of clarity regarding their role as fathers meanwhile their role on being the major influence on their children\’s destiny leaves a vacuum.

Unfortunately also the modern culture is playing down on the fact that DADDY IS DESTINY yet research proves over and again that families with strong fatherhood systems fair better always. Don’t be lied to, Every child needs a father figure in his life to thrive not just survive. I believe that no child should be made to go through an upbringing without having a father figure support him or her because their destiny is dependent on it.

We understand these gaps, and that is why In the past 3 years we have consistently created a narrative to equip more fathers to do better and also celebrate fathers to understand their roles.

TIP FATHERS CONFERENCE 2020 is coming with a difference. We have lined up fathers who are in the industry of fatherhood to teach other fathers and celebrate them as well. We won’t continue assuming that we know what to do, we have chosen to intentionally teach it.

No man should miss this conference.The Intentional The Intentional Parent Academy and their partners have paid in full for this, so access is FREE for you.

Use Link To Register and tag every man you know . See all details on Flier. https://bit.ly/TIPfathersconference2022

Remember the next generations destiny is dependent on the Fathers .join us and spread this message.

I feel like I’m failing as a parent” We’ve all felt overwhelmed with the weight of parenthood at one time or another. When we’re frustrated and helpless like we have no idea what we’re doing. Maybe it’s when we feel like we’re doing something wrong, especially when we can’t decide or don’t know which direction to take. Other times we’re scared about how this is all going to turn out, at the rate we’re going. There are various reasons parents fail on their journey and there is what to do so you don\’t fail.

Why You Keep Failing On Your Parenting Journey

1. Mindset: The number one reason parents feel like failures on their journey can be traced to their mindset, they lack the ability to mentally transition. A lot of parents are growing older but their minds are not transitioning to meet the demands and responsibilities that are being demanded of them at the time. There are various factors that influence mindset such as:

a) The dependency Mentality: Many children were not raised to transition that is why you hear people say things like \”Whatever it is my parents did, I will do it the same way\”.We were taught the how\’s which is the methodology but we were not taught the why\’s which is the principle so we end up with the dependency Mentality. I have said over and again that the reason for being raised is to be better for the next generation but we hear people say things like \”the same way my parents did things is the same way I will do them\”

b) The False Comfort That Comes From Generalising Failure: There is a false comfort that comes from Generalising Failure, we say things like everybody is failing, this parenting thing only God can save us, this is a false comfort. Instead of you asking \”what can we do better \” or investing in learning how to do things. You need to stop Generalising failure because there is what you know that can exempt you. These mentalities are not just about parenting, this happens in life too.

c) The Entitlement Mentality: When you are entitled to your behavior, your mentality, you don\’t care, you believe that your children owe you, you believe that you can do anything you like but you forget that raising a child is not just about you but raising generations. Most parents who have this mentality often forget that they are accountable to a co-creator with whom they are creating this child because being a parent makes you a co-creator.

d. The Mediocre Mentality: This is the mindset of smallness, the mindset of whatever goes. Over the weekend I was speaking in a church. and I said to them that life is all about choices. The choice to raise a king is yours, the choice to raise a slave is also yours. Many of us end up raising mediocre because we think that it\’s all about us \”I will do it my way\”. When you don\’t understand what you do, you will be weary.

e. The Mindset of \”I don\’t need to learn\”: This is one of the big reasons why parents fail on their journey. They say things like \” I don\’t need to learn, I will only parent by the bible but they negate the part of the bible where it was mentioned that people perish for lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6). So if you are really parenting after the bible you should be seeking knowledge.

Your child is a product of what you know, you cannot raise a child beyond the knowledge that you already have, your exposure is what is going to make or mar your child. The level of exposure my parents had is what I am building on for my children. So the question is \”What do you know\”? You cannot raise children beyond the knowledge that you have.

JOIN THE WAITLIST FOR THE INNER CIRCLE HERE

2. Trauma: The second reason that makes you fail on your parenting journey is trauma. On your experiencing neglect and abuse as a child, it has an impact on your adult quality of life and can be felt across board ( Physical health, emotional health, mental health, and in relationships) People who have experienced childhood trauma often have feelings of worry, shame, guilt helplessness, hopelessness, sadness, and anger. Many people who experienced trauma have \”Learn Helplessness\”. Trauma literally stops you.

On your mental health, surviving childhood trauma can be linked to higher rates of suicide, self-harm, post-traumatic stress disorder, drug and alcohol misuse, and even relationship difficulties. Regarding your physical health, children who experienced trauma and abuse have a heightened stress response which is why they will have issues with yelling and hitting. They have sleep difficulties, lower immune systems, and an increased number of physical illnesses.

3. You: The third reason why you are struggling as a parent is you. You are not failing because your children are bad or because they are a certain way. You are failing because of you because like I always share that parenting is about you and not your child. What you know either makes you win or fail. You are a product of what you know. What will determine your progress is what you know. Novices don\’t raise geniuses. You cannot influence a child beyond what you know.

4. Laziness: Laziness is also one of the reasons why there is a failure system in parenting. Many of the times when you enter the inner circle the first pledge we make you say is \”I have time to parent my children\” The moment you become a parent you choose to commit to whatever it is that needs to help that child.

JOIN THE WAITLIST FOR THE INNER CIRCLE HERE

Saying things like \” My children are still too small, I don\’t have time\” are indicators of laziness. Parenting is seedtime and harvest. You need to commit the time because without time you cannot shepherd anyone.
So you need to understand that you must pick it up yourself. There is no perfect time, the time is now. Your child is growing and the intriguing thing is that growth of noiseless.

DADDY IS DESTINY

Fathers Play one of the most important roles in their families unfortunately we are having more fathers absent either by being physically absent or lack of involvement. Research has found that the problem of absent fathers leads to higher divorce rates, destructive and negative changes in family structures, behavior problems in children, violence among teens, and moral decadence. However, over the years of working with parents, I have personally found like many other researchers that fathers are absent due to their own lost sense of identity and lack of clarity regarding their role as fathers meanwhile their role on being the major influence on their children\’s destiny leaves a vacuum.

Unfortunately also the modern culture is playing down on the fact that DADDY IS DESTINY yet research proves over and again that families with strong fatherhood systems fair better always. Don’t be lied to, Every child needs a father figure in his life to thrive not just survive. I believe that no child should be made to go through an upbringing without having a father figure support him or her because their destiny is dependent on it.

We understand these gaps, and that is why In the past 3 years we have consistently created a narrative to equip more fathers to do better and also celebrate fathers to understand their roles. TIP FATHERS CONFERENCE 2022 is coming with a difference. We have lined up fathers who are in the industry of fatherhood to teach other fathers and celebrate them as well. We won’t continue assuming that we know what to do, we have chosen to intentionally teach it.

No man should miss this conference. The Intentional Parent Academy and their partners have paid in full for this, so access is FREE for you. Use Link To Register and tag every man you know. See all details on Flier. https://bit.ly/TIPfathersconference2022

Remember the next generation\’s destiny is dependent on the Fathers .. join us and spread this message.