I feel like I’m failing as a parent” We’ve all felt overwhelmed with the weight of parenthood at one time or another. When we’re frustrated and helpless like we have no idea what we’re doing. Maybe it’s when we feel like we’re doing something wrong, especially when we can’t decide or don’t know which direction to take. Other times we’re scared about how this is all going to turn out, at the rate we’re going. There are various reasons parents fail on their journey and there is what to do so you don\’t fail.

Why You Keep Failing On Your Parenting Journey

1. Mindset: The number one reason parents feel like failures on their journey can be traced to their mindset, they lack the ability to mentally transition. A lot of parents are growing older but their minds are not transitioning to meet the demands and responsibilities that are being demanded of them at the time. There are various factors that influence mindset such as:

a) The dependency Mentality: Many children were not raised to transition that is why you hear people say things like \”Whatever it is my parents did, I will do it the same way\”.We were taught the how\’s which is the methodology but we were not taught the why\’s which is the principle so we end up with the dependency Mentality. I have said over and again that the reason for being raised is to be better for the next generation but we hear people say things like \”the same way my parents did things is the same way I will do them\”

b) The False Comfort That Comes From Generalising Failure: There is a false comfort that comes from Generalising Failure, we say things like everybody is failing, this parenting thing only God can save us, this is a false comfort. Instead of you asking \”what can we do better \” or investing in learning how to do things. You need to stop Generalising failure because there is what you know that can exempt you. These mentalities are not just about parenting, this happens in life too.

c) The Entitlement Mentality: When you are entitled to your behavior, your mentality, you don\’t care, you believe that your children owe you, you believe that you can do anything you like but you forget that raising a child is not just about you but raising generations. Most parents who have this mentality often forget that they are accountable to a co-creator with whom they are creating this child because being a parent makes you a co-creator.

d. The Mediocre Mentality: This is the mindset of smallness, the mindset of whatever goes. Over the weekend I was speaking in a church. and I said to them that life is all about choices. The choice to raise a king is yours, the choice to raise a slave is also yours. Many of us end up raising mediocre because we think that it\’s all about us \”I will do it my way\”. When you don\’t understand what you do, you will be weary.

e. The Mindset of \”I don\’t need to learn\”: This is one of the big reasons why parents fail on their journey. They say things like \” I don\’t need to learn, I will only parent by the bible but they negate the part of the bible where it was mentioned that people perish for lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6). So if you are really parenting after the bible you should be seeking knowledge.

Your child is a product of what you know, you cannot raise a child beyond the knowledge that you already have, your exposure is what is going to make or mar your child. The level of exposure my parents had is what I am building on for my children. So the question is \”What do you know\”? You cannot raise children beyond the knowledge that you have.

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2. Trauma: The second reason that makes you fail on your parenting journey is trauma. On your experiencing neglect and abuse as a child, it has an impact on your adult quality of life and can be felt across board ( Physical health, emotional health, mental health, and in relationships) People who have experienced childhood trauma often have feelings of worry, shame, guilt helplessness, hopelessness, sadness, and anger. Many people who experienced trauma have \”Learn Helplessness\”. Trauma literally stops you.

On your mental health, surviving childhood trauma can be linked to higher rates of suicide, self-harm, post-traumatic stress disorder, drug and alcohol misuse, and even relationship difficulties. Regarding your physical health, children who experienced trauma and abuse have a heightened stress response which is why they will have issues with yelling and hitting. They have sleep difficulties, lower immune systems, and an increased number of physical illnesses.

3. You: The third reason why you are struggling as a parent is you. You are not failing because your children are bad or because they are a certain way. You are failing because of you because like I always share that parenting is about you and not your child. What you know either makes you win or fail. You are a product of what you know. What will determine your progress is what you know. Novices don\’t raise geniuses. You cannot influence a child beyond what you know.

4. Laziness: Laziness is also one of the reasons why there is a failure system in parenting. Many of the times when you enter the inner circle the first pledge we make you say is \”I have time to parent my children\” The moment you become a parent you choose to commit to whatever it is that needs to help that child.

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Saying things like \” My children are still too small, I don\’t have time\” are indicators of laziness. Parenting is seedtime and harvest. You need to commit the time because without time you cannot shepherd anyone.
So you need to understand that you must pick it up yourself. There is no perfect time, the time is now. Your child is growing and the intriguing thing is that growth of noiseless.

DADDY IS DESTINY

Fathers Play one of the most important roles in their families unfortunately we are having more fathers absent either by being physically absent or lack of involvement. Research has found that the problem of absent fathers leads to higher divorce rates, destructive and negative changes in family structures, behavior problems in children, violence among teens, and moral decadence. However, over the years of working with parents, I have personally found like many other researchers that fathers are absent due to their own lost sense of identity and lack of clarity regarding their role as fathers meanwhile their role on being the major influence on their children\’s destiny leaves a vacuum.

Unfortunately also the modern culture is playing down on the fact that DADDY IS DESTINY yet research proves over and again that families with strong fatherhood systems fair better always. Don’t be lied to, Every child needs a father figure in his life to thrive not just survive. I believe that no child should be made to go through an upbringing without having a father figure support him or her because their destiny is dependent on it.

We understand these gaps, and that is why In the past 3 years we have consistently created a narrative to equip more fathers to do better and also celebrate fathers to understand their roles. TIP FATHERS CONFERENCE 2022 is coming with a difference. We have lined up fathers who are in the industry of fatherhood to teach other fathers and celebrate them as well. We won’t continue assuming that we know what to do, we have chosen to intentionally teach it.

No man should miss this conference. The Intentional Parent Academy and their partners have paid in full for this, so access is FREE for you. Use Link To Register and tag every man you know. See all details on Flier. https://bit.ly/TIPfathersconference2022

Remember the next generation\’s destiny is dependent on the Fathers .. join us and spread this message.