Tag: Wendy Ologe

“The most important classroom for your child isn’t within the four walls of a school; it’s right within your home, guided by you—the parent. This means you are the primary and most influential teacher in your child’s life. This blog post aims to address questions such as, ‘How am I the most important teacher?’ and ‘How can I step into this role, even if I’m a career person or an entrepreneur who has never set foot in a classroom except to pick up my child?’

As the first and most significant teacher for your child, you hold a key role in their academic success, growth, and lifelong learning. One of the gravest mistakes parents make on their journey is relinquishing total control of their child’s learning to the school. This often stems from ignorance prevailing over other reasons.

Parents often believe that finding the best schools and paying hefty fees absolve them of further responsibility. However, it’s crucial to recognize that paying school fees is merely the bare minimum in parenting; active involvement constitutes the lion’s share of the responsibility.

Research indicates that parental involvement is the primary predictor of a child’s academic success. As your child’s number one teacher, you are uniquely positioned to identify challenges and implement solutions within your parenting journey. You can recognize your child’s strengths, areas of growth, and tailor their educational experiences to match their unique learning style and pace.

For instance, if a child struggles with focus, the primary responsibility to assist them lies not with the school, but with the parent who can integrate solutions into their parenting approach.

Being your child’s number one teacher also allows you to understand their strengths and areas for improvement, enabling you to customize their educational experiences accordingly. Often, when parents think of involvement, they limit it to helping with homework, paying fees, and attending PTA meetings. Let’s delve deeper into these roles.”

Roles of Parents as the Number One Teacher:

1 . Emotional Anchor: Parents serve as the emotional support system for their children, providing encouragement and creating a safe space for learning and development. This emotional stability is essential for enabling children to thrive academically.

2. Modeling Behavior: Children are natural imitators, often mimicking the behaviors they observe in their parents. Therefore, it’s crucial for parents to exhibit positive behaviors that can influence their child’s academic journey. By demonstrating habits such as reading, curiosity, and perseverance, parents can instill valuable traits in their children that contribute to academic success.

3. Creating a Suitable Learning Environment: Beyond the physical aspects of the home environment, such as comfortable furniture and study areas, parents must cultivate an atmosphere conducive to learning. This involves modeling behaviors that support academic growth, such as limiting screen time and fostering a culture of curiosity and exploration. A cognitively, emotionally, and psychologically supportive environment is vital for a child’s educational development.

4. Advocacy: Parents play a crucial role as advocates for their children within the educational system. This includes ensuring that their child’s voice is heard and respected in the school environment, advocating for inclusivity, and supporting teachers to facilitate their child’s learning journey effectively. Parental involvement in advocating for their child’s needs can significantly impact their educational experience.

5. Foundational Learning: The home serves as the first environment for a child’s learning journey. During the formative years, typically ages one to five, children absorb vast amounts of information and develop critical skills. Parents are instrumental in laying the foundation for their child’s future academic success during this crucial period. Investing time and effort in early childhood education, even before formal schooling begins, sets the stage for a lifetime of learning.

How a Parent can Align with their Role as number one Teacher

1. Create a Supportive Learning Environment: Establishing routines and consistency is essential beyond just providing a study room or a well-stocked library. Consistency in setting study schedules helps children identify dedicated times for learning. Fostering a positive attitude towards learning is crucial as negative attitudes from parents can inadvertently affect children’s perceptions. Parents should actively model lifelong learning by showcasing enthusiasm for acquiring knowledge, sharing personal interests, hobbies, and experiences, and emphasizing the value of continuous personal development. Making learning enjoyable by integrating elements of play, creativity, and excitement into educational activities can significantly enhance children’s learning experiences, particularly during their early developmental stages.

2. Communication and Collaboration with the School: Many parents tend to have a transactional relationship with their child’s teacher, only engaging when there are complaints or negative feedback. However, it’s vital for parents to establish open lines of communication and collaboration with the school. Beyond addressing concerns, parents should proactively share insights about their child’s learning strengths, temperament, and effective strategies observed at home. Collaborating with teachers not only helps address immediate concerns but also fosters an environment where the child can thrive. Additionally, feedback from teachers provides valuable insights into a child’s behavior and performance within the classroom setting, helping parents adjust their parenting approach accordingly.

 3 . Fostering a positive attitude towards learning, particularly in subjects like mathematics, is crucial for a child’s academic development. Often, parents’ own apprehensions about certain subjects can unintentionally influence their children. For instance, if a parent expresses uncertainty or reluctance when confronted with a math problem, whether verbally or through non-verbal cues, the child may interpret this as a sign that math is difficult or undesirable.

However, parents have the power to change this narrative and cultivate a positive relationship with math for their child. Instead of conveying doubt or negativity, parents can adopt an attitude of encouragement and resilience when faced with math-related challenges. By demonstrating a willingness to tackle problems and learn alongside their child, parents can instill confidence and enthusiasm for math.

4. Make learning fun: Making learning fun is essential for engaging children and fostering a positive attitude towards education. Many parents perceive learning at home as tedious and authoritarian, resembling a military-like environment with excessive rules and threats. However, by embracing the concept of making learning enjoyable, parents can create a vibrant atmosphere that encourages curiosity, creativity, and enthusiasm in their child’s educational journey.

Incorporating elements of play, creativity, spontaneity, and enjoyment into learning experiences can significantly enhance a child’s engagement and retention of information. Children naturally thrive when activities are emotionally stimulating and enjoyable for them. By infusing learning with fun and excitement, parents can create an environment where their child feels motivated to explore, experiment, and discover.

5. Leverage Everyday Activities for Learning Opportunities:

  Intentionally integrate learning into your child’s daily routines. Everyday activities provide numerous opportunities for learning and skill-building. For example, during mealtime, you can teach math skills, etiquette, and social development. Engage your child in basic math operations during meal preparation, and encourage critical thinking and spatial awareness during trips or walks. Chores such as washing clothes, sorting laundry, setting the table, and sweeping can also be maximized for learning opportunities.

6. Make the Most of Their Play Time:

   Encourage active play, especially activities involving cardio exercises like jumping and running. According to educational neuroscientists, such activities trigger the release of hormones that aid in neural connections, enhancing cognitive development. Playtime is crucial for building neural connections and fostering a deeper understanding of concepts.

7. Support Literacy and Numeracy Development:

 Early childhood and primary education in Nigeria prioritize permanent numeracy and literacy skills, along with critical thinking and effective communication. It’s essential to ensure your child develops strong foundational skills in numeracy and literacy to support future learning. By age five, children should be proficient in basic math operations and number work, as well as capable of independent reading. Encourage reading at home from an early age to build vocabulary and comprehension skills. Additionally, integrate math into everyday activities to enhance critical thinking and problem-solving skills. Limit screen time and prioritize activities that promote cognitive development, such as walks, car rides, and baking, which provide ample opportunities to teach spatial awareness and mathematical concepts.

The long-awaited learning style course went live this week and the feedback, enthusiasm, and joy in the learning hubs show that the learning style course is a total liberation for families. The testimonials coming in are like a one-year course progressive.

Want to join this transformative course, reach out to our team on 0903 663 3600. Have you registered for the Learning Style Course yet?

To enroll, simply visit:

To register for the Learning Style Course, complete the payment of N15,500 to Bank: GTBank Account Number: 0509494057 Account Name: The Intentional Parent Academy or pay online: https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/Learningstylecourse2024

In a study by Stanford University, researchers found that intrinsically motivated students, that is, students who had genuine interest and enjoyment in learning consistently outperformed their peers who lacked adequate motivation. One striking example was seen in a group of elementary pupils who participated in a science project. Those pupils who were intrinsically motivated, that is to say, those pupils who were curious, who desired to understand the topic, completed the concept with higher quality retained the knowledge, and consolidated it a lot better than people who needed to be externally motivated.

This blog is geared towards answering the question of what I can do to motivate my child. What can I do for my child to be intrinsically motivated? A good number of learners do not think or consider the importance of studying until there is an exam facing them. The truth is that the rule of learning states that there is a need for enough interaction with the subject matter.

The concept of motivation as regards learning, is the inner intrinsic drive or desire that compels an individual to engage and participate in educational tasks. We have intrinsic motivation which is driven by internal factors such as curiosity, enjoyment, desire, self-motivation, and self-regulation. Extrinsic motivation is the weakest form of motivation, though it can be used to spur learners. Extrinsic motivation is the weakest because it is dependent on external factors and in a case where it is not available the learner will procrastinate, and defer learning.

Why Learners are Unmotivated.

1. Lack of relevance. Many learners struggle to see and identify the relevance and importance of what they are learning in their lives.
   
   
2. The fear of failure. For many children, instead of the fear of failure spurring them, it demotivates them because a child who consistently struggles with a concept will be unmotivated. They think, “I did this thing last time and I failed it, so why should I now try again?
3. The lack of self-efficacy and self-confidence. When children do not believe in themselves and do not have confidence in their ability, when they have a fixed mindset that says, intelligence is fixed, they begin to relinquish the ability to succeed in learning to the people whom they consider as high flyers forgetting that learning is not fixed, but it is transcendent meaning if you do the work, you get the prize.
4. Lack of self-mastery. Your child’s temperament can affect their motivation, not just in learning, but also in their study patterns, the way they navigate life, chores and so on. Temperaments have their strengths and weaknesses. For some children, the weakness of their personality and temperament is that they lack motivation and need external motivation to motivate them. Another factor is that the parents of these children would like to use fear and threat to motivate that child meanwhile the personality of that child is averse to those triggers you are using to motivate the child. 
5. Learning difficulty. When a child finds it difficult to learn, it could be a major reason why they are demotivated. For instance, imagine you move to another country that speaks a different dialect than you, and there is no Google Translate, to help you understand. How will you feel? It’s the same way your child struggles to understand when there is a lack of understanding of a concept. If your child is unmotivated, you must check if they have learning difficulties or disabilities.

Tools For Motivating Your Unmotivated Child

1. Understanding the relationship between motivation and personality. Motivation and personality cannot be separated, they are interrelated. We have the extroverted child, as well as the introverted child. The way to motivate the extroverted child will be different from the introverted child. One of the ways to motivate an extroverted child is to find a way to tactfully use external motivation because they are motivated by extroversion and socialism. They just want to be out there. If you are not intentional, the extroverted child will struggle to learn. There are certain tools you can use to help an extroverted child like a peer coaching system, which is a system of accountability for example having a friend who would always call them to study. For the conscientious and introverted children – the self-aware, melancholy perfectionist children, one of the ways to motivate them is to set goals for them. They are willing to go through anything to reach that goal. The strong-willed learners love novelty and innovation. They are driven by curiosity. They are easily bored as they love teachers who are kinesthetic in their teaching. For this kind of child, their learning process must be innovative. Teach them skills like mind maps, highlighting, and annotation. For the agreeable learners who just want peace, you would need to employ extrinsic motivation while you work towards intrinsic motivation. The intrinsic motivation for these learners will be dependent on your parenting skills because they are usually laid back. They naturally lack that internal push so parents must intentionally use extrinsic tools on their way to building their self-regulation.

2. Equip them with study skills. Overwhelming workload load and distractions can be a demotivation to children. Study skills are very important for every child, every personality, every age group and learning style. Study skills include skills such as:

Spaced repetition – When a child studies this way, according to the neuroscience of retention which states that a lot of times when an individual has studied a material for a while it would take that person a period of deep sleep for permanent learning. Before knowledge is consolidated, the repetition in the memory must be constant. You can’t space repeat if you are reading only to pass an exam. For a 13-week school term, for example, a child who studies from week 1 would achieve more learning than one who just began to read when it was exam time.

How to help achieve this is to set a study time table, a schedule that incorporates a regular review season which will enforce learning and enhance long term retention.

Utilise a multisensory approach. We already know that we have different learning styles, learning strengths and  we have different intelligences according to the theory of multiple intelligence so learning is not a one size fits all approach. That’s why one of the greatest philosophers said that if you judge a fish by its ability to fly, it would spend its whole life thinking it was an idiot. Multisensory approaches must be tampered according to their learning styles. 

Another study skill is practice retrieval. This involves actively retrieving information from your memory through testing and self quizzes. This is the concept that mock exams emphasise on. What this does is that it helps strengthen the memory retrieval and doing this enhances long term memory. Whatever concept your child studies, get them to practise questions on their own. You may also get them to assume the role of a teacher whereby they come back to teach you the concept they just learnt. This is where peer mentorship and collaborative learning come in handy because the child takes the role of the teacher and as they try to teach each other they try to remember, demystify it and break it down in such a way that would enable them to teach another person. After that session, learning has happened. 

3. Create a supportive learning environment. Your child is not motivated to learn because they lack a supportive learning environment both in school and at home.

4. Intentionally foster a growth mindset. One of the ways to achieve this would be by emphasising on efforts rather than grades. To motivate your child you need to shift your reinforcement from focusing on their grades to their effort. Because a child could put in 100 percent effort and come out with a 60 per cent result, and the reverse is also true. So indeed, exams are not a true test of knowledge. Because you criticise a child’s grade, and not effort, the child gets demotivated and decides not to make any more effort in the future since his last effort was neither noticed nor praised. By praising efforts, you inculcate a growth mindset into them which motivates learning.

Have you seen our facilitator list for the upcoming course on “Understanding Your Child’s Learning Style”? With a team comprising a parent coach, clinician/autism professional, and a learning coach, this course is going to equip you with the necessary knowledge to understand and support your child’s learning journey.

Only 4 days left until the start of the 2024 Cohort of the “Understanding Your Child’s Learning Style Course”! Don’t miss out!

Understanding Your Child’s Learning Style Course 2024 offers a completely revamped curriculum and experience. We started running the “Understanding Your child’s learning style” course in 2018 and over the years, we have trained over 10,000 parents to understand how their children learn.

I remember at the very first batch a particular parent said to me “Coach Wendy I wish I attended this course some 20 years ago, some of the challenges I had with my son won’t have had it.”

To join the learning style course starting in 6 days time, pay N15,500 to 0509494057 (GTB) The Intentional Parent Academy. Send proof to 09036633600. 

Register Online Here 

https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/Learningstylecourse2024

Do you know the amazing thing? You get a 25% discount if you pay before the 24th of March. So instead of paying N20,500, you get to pay only N15,500.

Offer valid till March 24th, 2024.

Busy schedules and deadlines can turn eve most dedicated parents too. leave their child’s academic growth solely in the hands of school or lesson teachers.
But unfortunately or fortunately, the key to unlocking the child’s true learning potential begins right at home. Even the best intentional parents make mistakes that unintentionally hinder their children from learning. Here you will be equipped with the tools that you’ll need to identify and overcome these common mistakes and how to nurture your child’s natural love for learning and set them on the path of academic success.

But the first thing to know is that the key to unlocking the child’s potential begins at home. It doesn’t happen outside the home. The school does the job of enhancement. But unfortunately, we have swapped roles.

The 5 Parenting Mistakes

1. Neglecting Emotional Support : Many times parents are focused on the grades which leads to over-emphasising grades and performance without acknowledging the emotional well-being of the child. It’s possible to raise a child who just performs and does not learn. This is exactly how many of us learnt in the past, we only performed, we didn’t learn. Now we are turning our children into performance freaks, so instead of learning, all they do is perform, and this affects their mental health. The result is that emotional stress can hinder cognitive functions which eventually affects the child’s ability to learn and to focus effectively.

The epidemic we have now is that children leave school at 20, but are confused about what to do, not working, not doing anything, bingeing on Netflix and sharing on TikTok. These are children who graduated with good grades, yet are stuck, many of them are trophy children. The trophy child is the child who usually suffers most from this particular parenting mistake. So as a parent, you must be careful in your emphasis on good grades. Education is first internal, then external. Creativity is internal, it’s not learnt on the screen or in the school. One of the ways to address this problem is to foster a supportive environment where addresses emotional needs and fosters a positive attitude towards learning and this happens in the home. The only place children learn is at home. Every single tech giant had fathers who had garages where creativity was fostered. Where is your home garage?

2. Lack of Effective Communication: Assuming that academic progress is solely the school’s responsibility leasing to minimal communication about the child’s learning experiences. Limited communication can result in missed opportunities to identify challenges and provide necessary support. You need to learn and establish effective communication channels with everybody who is involved in the upbringing of that child. If for example you have a nanny at home, the truth is that the person is 80 per cent more of a parent to your child than you. They come back from school to meet the nanny, are fed by the nanny and are helped with homework by the nanny, and then they return with their emotions everywhere. That nanny is just as untrained as you are, unfortunately. So again, your children are struggling to learn even though they are passing exams. If your children spend all their time in school, you are not the one parenting them. If your children spend more time on TV than you spend with them, TV is the parent. So there is no place for creativity in your absence. Time is the currency of parenting. Because you don’t have time, you don’t communicate with them and you don’t know them. If that is your method of parenting, you have less influence than you think you have. Lack of communication will decrease creativity in a child. What kind of communication is happening in your home? Many parents were raised by house helps and that is what killed creativity in many adults today.

3. Overlooking individual learning styles or applying a one-style-fits approach in teaching and learning

Unacknowledged learning preferences may lead to disengagement and hinder the child’s ability to grasp and retain information. This is the reason we run the “Understanding your child’s learning style course” in the academy where you learn how to identify the different learning styles of your children and enhance learning. Once you understand learning styles, you won’t struggle with your child’s learning as well as discipline. Many times parents tend to teach their children with their own learning style. If you don’t understand how your children learn, they will not learn how to think on their feet. We must move our children from just mere education to solving real time problems. Africa is full of educated people, yet no creativity, no problem-solving.

4. Micromanaging Learning Process : Getting over-involved in every aspect of our children’s learning process leaves no room for independent thinking and problem-solving. Micromanaging stiffens creativity, hinders decision-making and impedes the development of self-efficacy and that’s the only place people learn to solve problems. You must encourage autonomy by providing guidance and support while allowing the child to take ownership of their learning journey. There’s something wrong if you are flustered about exam time for your child. It makes the children handicapped. The more independent a child is, the more creative the child. You need to teach your children autonomy, study skills and so on. Learning is not an emergency, it must follow a process.

5. Ignoring the importance of holistic development : Focusing on academics alone. Some parents complain about children reading every other book but academic books. But remember academic excellence is always a result of holistic development. Any child you focus on their holistic development will automatically do well. When you narrow focus on academics, you’ll hinder your child’s ability to navigate the real world challenges and collaborate effectively. You must emphasise a balanced approach, nurture not only academics, but also, social, emotional, and creative aspects of a well rounded individual.

If you avoid these parenting mistakes, you are going to be at the point where you are helping your child learn and succeed. Enrol for the learning style course and get to the place where your children will get fulfille

IS YOUR CHILD STRUGGLING TO LEARN?

Your child might be struggling because you don’t understand how he learns!
My daughter is a dominant auditory learner I will say 80%. This makes her verbal and auditory coordination so apt!

A few years ago, we got them bicycles to learn, in split seconds her twin brother who is a dominant Kinesthetic learner started to ride. So kinesthetic learners find physical activities very easy to come by. Our son learned to swim the same day the swim Coach started his lessons.

In all these years, we have been looking for a way to make our daughter learn to ride because physical activities are part of our value system in our home. No, we never said “Can’t you see! your twin brother can ride easily bla bla! That stuff kills a child who would like to learn faster, it’s comparison even though parents

Well, we thought of how best we could teach her, and then boom her learning style was it. So we started to feed her ears first with the learnings on how to ride and not the actual ride itself. Then we got safety guards, …. And our big daughter decided to do the teaching job itself.

Using her dominant learning style instead of forcing and assuming she should just know…she learned how to ride her bike in 2days!!!

Do you know that understanding your child’s learning style might be the singular solution to her learning difficulties?

At The Intentional Parent Academy, we run a course where we just don’t teach parents how to identify the learning styles of their children, we also teach them how to use these learning styles to make their children study effectively and even discipline them correctly.
Have you registered to be part of the learning style course Yet?
To Course, simply click here:

https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/Learningstylecourse2024

To Register for the Learning Style Course, pay N10,500 to 0509494057 (GTB) The Intentional Parent Academy. Send proof to 09036633600.

Curious about our upcoming learning style course but unsure if it’s the right fit for your child’s academic success?

For a limited time, we’re offering something special: instant access to a free module of the learning style course.

How excited are you to dive in and explore?

Would you like to discover how to leverage your child’s unique learning style to enhance their learning experience? If so, don’t miss out on our incredible offer: a complimentary taster module from the ‘Understanding Your Child’s Learning Style’ course!

This module is designed to provide insights into your child’s learning process.

Seize this rare opportunity to peek into our transformative Learning Style course, which has already benefited thousands of parents worldwide since 2018. Now, you can experience it for free! But act quickly, as this offer is only available for a limited time.

Sign up now and embark on your journey to understanding your child’s learning style today! You won’t regret it.

Gain Access https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/Learningstylecoursefreemodule

Many children lose their natural curiosity as they progress through school. This is often due to traditional learning methods that can be dry and unengaging. But what if learning could be fun and exciting? In this blog post, we’ll explore ways to create a love of learning in your child.

Teaching is more than just cramming facts into young minds. It’s about igniting the spark of curiosity, a flame that fuels a lifelong love of learning. As parents and educators, we hold the key to unlocking this potential. We aren’t just shaping minds that can pass exams; we’re nurturing explorers equipped to navigate the vast landscapes of knowledge.

One fundamental issue is that many children—and even adults—don’t know how to learn effectively. Passing exams doesn’t necessarily equate to true learning.

Let’s Delve into some key aspects that hinder effective learning:

1. Lack of Engagement:
Learning methods often fail to capture a child’s interest. For instance, subjects like mathematics are sometimes taught without engaging students, leading to a lack of enthusiasm for learning. Concepts remain abstract when they cannot be connected to real-life experiences. As the first learning environment, the home plays a crucial role. Unfortunately, not all homes provide an engaging atmosphere for learning.

2. Work Overload: Regarding work overload, the belief that rescheduling activities will improve performance overlooks the need for a conducive learning environment. Instead of piling on more lessons, focus on creating an environment where genuine learning can take place. Overloading the brain can lead to information regurgitation rather than true comprehension. Scientifically, an overloaded brain tends to shut down.

3. Fear of failure: The pressure to perform and an overemphasis on grades can prevent a child from taking risks and learning from mistakes, ultimately hindering true learning.

4. Constant comparison with peers can undermine a child’s confidence and motivation to learn. When a child is pressured, they may fail to grasp the significance of failure and its role in achieving success.

How can Children Learn?

Teaching children how to learn before they begin formal education is crucial. This lays a foundation for a lifetime of academic success. Academic achievement is merely a byproduct of learning; therefore, cultivating learning skills is paramount in their educational journey. If a child is not equipped with the ability to learn, they will encounter challenges throughout their lives.

1. Metacognition, the ability to think about one’s thinking, is essential. It involves understanding one’s learning process, identifying strengths, monitoring progress, and reflecting on experiences. This process begins with self-awareness. Thus, completing homework on behalf of a child deprives them of the opportunity to engage in metacognitive thinking. Consider the numerous creatives who have flourished outside traditional educational structures; many of them found support for their learning within their home environments. When the brain lacks training in learning, acquiring knowledge becomes arduous.

2. Critical thinking : Critical thinking and questioning are essential skills to instill in your children. Encourage them to think critically and question information they encounter.

3. Effective note-taking: Effective note-taking is another crucial skill. Before becoming effective note-takers, children must learn to be active listeners. Note-taking is a part of active listening, and guiding children on how to summarize information clearly is essential. Teaching methods like mind mapping can aid in conceptualization. Notes serve as repositories of wisdom, captured on paper.

4. Time management: Time management is key. Help your children understand the importance of prioritization, identifying urgent tasks, creating schedules, and planning. Providing structured systems for organizations is crucial, as unpredictability can hinder productivity.

5.Adaptability and resilience: Adaptability and resilience are vital qualities for success. Success, such as passing medical school, relies more on adaptability and resilience than sheer intelligence. Shielding children from failure deprives them of valuable learning experiences. Emphasize the value of embracing challenges, learning from setbacks, and adapting to change.

6. Communication and Collaboration Skills: Communication and collaboration skills are also essential. Teach children how to work in groups, share ideas, communicate effectively, and respect others’ viewpoints. These skills are often not taught in school but are crucial for success in various endeavors.

7. Encourage a joy for learning in your children. Learning should be viewed as a lifelong journey, and instilling self-reliance is crucial. Focus on self-improvement as a parent, as children often mirror their parents’ behavior,

IS YOUR CHILD STRUGGLING TO LEARN?

Your child might be struggling because you don’t understand how he learns!
My daughter is a dominant auditory learner I will say 80%. This makes her verbal and auditory coordination so apt!

A few years ago, we got them bicycles to learn, in split seconds her twin brother who is a dominant Kinesthetic learner started to ride. So kinesthetic learners find physical activities very easy to come by. Our son learned to swim the same day the swim Coach started his lessons.

In all these years, we have been looking for a way to make our daughter learn to ride because physical activities are part of our value system in our home. No, we never said “Can’t you see! your twin brother can ride easily bla bla! That stuff kills a child who would like to learn faster, it’s comparison even though parents

Well, we thought of how best we could teach her, and then boom her learning style was it. So we started to feed her ears first with the learnings on how to ride and not the actual ride itself. Then we got safety guards, …. And our big daughter decided to do the teaching job itself.

Using her dominant learning style instead of forcing and assuming she should just know…she learned how to ride her bike in 2days!!!

Do you know that understanding your child’s learning style might be the singular solution to her learning difficulties?

At The Intentional Parent Academy, we run a course where we just don’t teach parents how to identify the learning styles of their children, we also teach them how to use these learning styles to make their children study effectively and even discipline them correctly.
Have you registered to be part of the learning style course Yet?
To join the Learning Style Course, simply click the link below:

https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/Learningstylecourse2024

Or pay #10,500 to 0509494057 (GTB). The Intentional Parent Academy. Send proof to 09036633600

Navigating the ever-changing world of parenting- the latest trends and approaches can be overwhelming– things move fast, and it’s easy to get caught up in the newest craze.  While some parenting trends may seem like magic solutions, it’s important to remember that every child is unique and what works for one might not work for another. 

In this blog post, we’ll explore 10 parenting trends to approach with caution in 2024, you will get  insights to guide you on your parenting journey.

 By understanding the potential drawbacks of these trends, you can make informed choices that foster a nurturing and supportive environment for your child to thrive.

1. Helicopter parenting: In helicopter parenting,  parents are overly hovering and controlling over their children’s lives. They intervene in every situation, from school to play, and do not allow their children to develop independence and problem-solving skills. 

Finding a balance between support and autonomy is very crucial for healthy child development. Helicopter parenting can hinder a child’s self-confidence, resilience, and creativity.

2. Tiger parenting: This is when parents are excessively strict and demanding with their children. They expect them to excel in everything, especially academics, and do not tolerate any mistakes or failures. They often over-schedule their children with activities and pressure them to perform.

Tiger parenting can lead to stress, burnout, and incompetence in children. They may also suffer from low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression.

3. Parenting peer pressure: This involves parents constantly comparing  their parenting style and their children’s achievements with others. They feel insecure and inadequate if their children are not doing as well as their peers. They may also discipline their children based on what other people think of them, rather than what is best for them.

Parenting peer pressure can cause parents to lose sight of their own values and goals, and to neglect their children’s individual needs and interests.

4. Overemphasis on early academic achievement: This is when parents focus too much on their children’s academic success at a young age. They may brag about their children finishing school early, or being at the top of their class. They may also push their children to learn advanced skills or subjects that are not appropriate for their developmental stage. 

Overemphasis on early academic achievement can hinder overall development in children. They may miss out on other important aspects of childhood, such as play, creativity, and socialization.

5. Parenting on instinct without knowledge: This is when parents rely solely on their own experiences and instincts to parent their children, without seeking any knowledge or guidance from experts or research. They may not understand their children’s personality, temperament, learning styles, or disciplinary needs. They may also not be aware of the latest trends and best practices in parenting. 

Parenting on instinct without knowledge can result in ineffective and inconsistent parenting, and poor outcomes for children. Parents may also miss out on opportunities to learn and grow as parents.

6. Discipline as a reaction: This is when parents rely on reactivity as a disciplinary strategy, rather than proactivity. They wait for their children to do something wrong and then punish them, instead of teaching them the right behavior and rewarding them. Discipline as a reaction can cause parents to lose control of their emotions and act aggressively or violently towards their children. It can also damage the relationship between parents and children, and make children fearful, resentful, or rebellious.

Discipline is not a reaction, it’s a response. Discipline is the skills that you build. In my book, Discipline is Not an Emergency, order for it here, you will learn that discipline is the schedules, skills, structures, strategies, systems you build into your life. Discipline is not beating, yelling and so on. Discipline is structure. When you put up the right structures at home, discipline becomes easy. Discipline is built, it’s not a feeling. Flogging is not discipline. Flogging will keep you away from actual discipline. Flogging keeps the child away from natural consequences which makes them not to learn. When a child is dealing with a problem, reacting aggressively will never solve the problem. You should look for a way to help the child instead, because if your child is not helped, you have not disciplined your child. It takes emotional stability to actually discipline a child.

7. Overuse of technology: This is when parents use screen time as a nanny or a reward for their children, without setting any limits or boundaries. They may also neglect their own screen time habits and how they affect their children. Overuse of technology can have negative impacts on children’s physical, mental, and social development. It can also expose them to harmful or inappropriate content, cyberbullying, or addiction.

There is war on children. Are you even aware of the programming going on in the media? The skills your children need to thrive in the world are not learned on the screen. The brain doesn’t learn on screen because it is a meaning making machine. Do away with exposing their young brains to the screen.

8. Parental burnout: This is when parents ignore their own well-being, constantly prioritizing the needs of the child. They may feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and resentful. They may also lose their sense of identity, purpose, and joy. Parental burnout can affect the quality of parenting and the health of the family. It can also increase the risk of depression, anxiety, and stress-related illnesses.

It’s very crucial for parents to prioritize their well-being. The concept of essentialism is very critical for parents to master. Prevent burnout by working out, eating healthy, reading, and doing whatever you can to catch your breath. Our parents had a problem with parental burnout, which led them to believe that their children owe them their lives, because of course they sacrificed their lives for the well-being of their children. Parenting intentionally is key but living a life of legacy is also very key because you as a human being have your own contribution to make to the world.

9. Ignoring your mental health: This is when parents ignore the emotional well-being of both themselves and their child. They may not seek professional help when needed, or they may stigmatize or deny mental health issues. They may also not teach their children how to cope with their emotions, or how to seek support when they are struggling. Ignoring your mental health can have serious consequences for your happiness, productivity, and relationships. It can also affect your child’s mental health and development.

Learn how to manage your emotional health, or you will go into depression, especially in these times. Teach your child how to express, regulate, and understand their emotions. Be aware of the signs and symptoms of mental health problems, and seek help when necessary. Do not be ashamed or afraid to talk about your mental health, or your child’s mental health. It is not a weakness, but a strength.

10. Parental Oversharing: Sharing your child’s personal information or vulnerable moments online can have lasting consequences. Respect their privacy, and obtain their consent before sharing anything online. Remember, balanced and informed parenting is key to raising happy, healthy, and well-adjusted children. Don’t be afraid to adapt your approach as your child grows and their needs evolve.

“Passing exams does not really mean your child is learning.”

It’s possible To Just cram, and pass exams! 

Unfortunately, many parents are only interested in their child passing exams without learning. 

This is why a parent can pay anything to school so their child can pass exams..

What if I told you that this is exactly why most people never read any other thing after leaving school. 

This is why we opened up the understanding your child’s learning style course so you can help your child learn. 

Register for the Learning Style Course here: 

https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/Learningstylecourse2024

or pay #10,500 to 0509494057 (GTB). The Intentional Parent Academy. Send proof to 09036633600.

Offer valid till March 15th, 2024

Did you know that 1 in 5 children experience low self-esteem, impacting their confidence, happiness, and overall well-being? As a parent, it can be heartbreaking to see your child struggling with feelings of inadequacy, withdrawal, or negativity. But the good news is, that you can play a vital role in helping them build healthy self-esteem.

This blog will equip you with the knowledge and tools to identify the indicators of low self-esteem in your child, and most importantly, empower them to build a healthy sense of self-worth.

Indicators of Low Self-Esteem
1. Bullying or Being Bullied: Both being a bully and being bullied are signs of low self-esteem. This falls under the category of changes in social interaction. Some parents might even feel proud if their child is the bully, thinking that their child can’t be intimidated. However, this could indicate that the child is battling with low self-esteem.

2. Changes in Behavior: Noticeable alterations in your child’s behavior can be a sign of low self-esteem.

3. Changes in Self-Expression: If your child’s way of expressing themselves changes, it could be a sign of low self-esteem.

5. Changes in Social Interaction: Changes in the way your child interacts socially can also indicate low self-esteem.

Children who feel powerless may become targets, while those struggling with their self-worth may attempt to assert control. It has become extremely important that we shine the light on issues concerning low self-esteem in Children, We can no longer remain silent. If we don’t address these issues, we risk harming future generations.

Low self-esteem doesn’t only affect the child, it also affects adults. Many adults struggle with initiating and maintaining friendships due to low self-esteem. All their lives they second-guess ourselves, feel like they don’t matter. These can be traced back to low self-esteem. These are effects of practices that can lead to low self-esteem. This might lead to fear of rejection, fear of inadequacy in social situations, and social withdrawal. Some of you may be well-dressed, and working in good environments, yet still feel inadequate. This is still low self-esteem.

A child with low self-esteem will find it difficult to express their opinion, leading to a lack of assertiveness. I recall a woman who joined our Inner Circle because her youngest child was very assertive, unlike her other children who were very obedient. But have you considered that obedience isn’t always a virtue?

We often domesticate our children in the name of parenting, shutting down their potential. We take pride in saying, “Once I speak, my children don’t utter a word.” But there’s a thin line between subduing a child’s assertiveness and proper parenting. It’s not just about following instructions; it’s about your children being assertive even while following instructions.

If your children can’t say no to you, they won’t be able to say no to people outside your home. A child recently asked me to do something I had no business doing. She pleaded, “Please don’t say no,” thinking it would make me say yes. But I said no. Why should I please you at the expense of displeasing myself or putting myself in an uncomfortable position?

Understanding Behavioral Changes Due to Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem can lead to significant behavioral changes in children and teenagers. These changes can manifest in various ways, including withdrawal and isolation, avoidance of challenges, and perfectionism. Understanding these behaviors is crucial for parents, educators, and caregivers to provide the right support and guidance.

1. Withdrawal and Isolation
Children with low self-esteem often withdraw from social activities and isolate themselves from family and friends. This behavior is not merely a reflection of their personality but could be a sign of deeper issues. Teenagers, in particular, may become withdrawn due to the numerous changes happening in their lives. They may feel the need to shut out the world, and our words can play a significant role in this process. Our words shape realities, and if a child begins to withdraw and isolate themselves, they might be trying to navigate their environment without drawing attention to themselves.

2. Avoidance of Challenges
Another behavioral change is the avoidance of challenges due to fear of failure. The fear of failure can be so overwhelming that children hide their failures and results, leading to a reluctance to take on new challenges or engage in activities that require effort. They might develop a preference for tasks they’re already proficient in, avoiding anything new.

3. Perfectionism
Perfectionism is another defense mechanism adopted by some children with low self-esteem. They strive for flawlessness to gain approval, but the fear of not meeting these high standards can lead to frustration and self-criticism. They put in so much effort to build a perfect persona to please others, often at the expense of their own well-being. Perfectionism can hinder your ability to try new things and be confident. You might find yourself constantly telling yourself that it’s not perfect enough, it’s not excellent enough. But remember, excellence is not perfection.

4. Changes in Self-Expression
Changes in self-expression often start with negative self-talk. This involves the individual constantly belittling themselves, expressing doubt in their abilities, or using phrases like ‘I can’t.’ Negative self-talk can be a significant barrier to personal growth and achievement.

5. Physical Changes Indicating Low Self-Esteem
Physical changes can indicate low self-esteem. This can manifest in posture, avoiding eye contact, and signs of nervousness. These physical cues may indicate discomfort or lack of confidence. For instance, nail-biting could be a sign of low self-esteem.

How TO Stop Low Self-Esteem In Your Child
1. Understand the Influence of Parenting: Recognize that parenting significantly influences a child’s self-esteem. Good intentions alone are insufficient for effective parenting. The right knowledge and strategies are crucial.

2. Establish the Right Systems: We don’t rise to the level of our intentions, but we fall to the level of our systems. Ensure the right systems are in place for effective parenting.

3. Avoid Over-Criticism: Being overly critical when providing feedback can undermine a child’s confidence. Focus on what’s right instead of what’s wrong.

4. Differentiate Between Correction and Discipline: Correction is not the same as discipline. Discipline is about teaching, not rectifying mistakes.

5. Implement Effective Discipline: Discipline is about teaching with love, understanding, empathy, and compassion, not about criticizing or correcting.

6. Take Time to Calm Down: If your child makes a mistake, take time to calm down before you address it. The quality of the message you’re conveying is more important than the timing.

7. Break the Cycle of Criticism: Constant criticism can lead to self-doubt and fear. If you experienced this growing up, it’s important to recognize it and consciously choose a different approach with your own children. Offer constructive feedback and encouragement instead of solely focusing on what’s wrong.

8. Provide a Loving Environment: Offer love, understanding, empathy, and compassion in your interactions with your children. This helps build their self-esteem and confidence.

9. Encourage Effort Over Outcome: Focus on the effort your child puts into their activities rather than just the end result. This fosters a growth mindset and helps them learn from their experiences.

10. Avoid Comparisons: Each child is unique and develops at their own pace. Comparing them to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy. Celebrate their individuality and support their journey.

11. Set Realistic Expectations: Avoid setting unrealistic expectations that can lead to a constant sense of failure. Tailor your expectations to your child’s abilities and stage of development.

14. Allow Them to Experience Challenges: Overprotecting children from failure and adversity can hinder their growth. Allow them to face challenges, make mistakes, and learn from them. This builds resilience and self-confidence.

Continual learning and growth are essential for effective parenting. It’s not about being perfect, but about being open to learning and making positive changes in your parenting approach. This will help you raise confident, resilient, and emotionally intelligent children who are equipped to thrive in the world. I’ve written several books to assist parents on this journey, click here to order our books.

Reading these books will help you understand what to expect and how to navigate through various phases of your child’s development. Each book I’ve written supports parents in their journey of raising confident, emotionally intelligent, and resilient children. They address specific challenges and provide practical strategies and insights to help parents navigate through various stages of their children’s growth and development. Whether you’re dealing with sibling rivalry, communication issues, or guiding your child through puberty, there’s a resource available to support you on your parenting journey. Visit our store here to order our resources.

If you lack emotional control, all the things I’ve shared here will be like pouring water on a phone. That’s why being part of the Emotional Intelligence Parent Course will be one of the best things that could happen to you this year on your parenting journey. You need to learn how to parent. If you don’t, you’ll make a mess. You need to be in a parenting academy. You can order the just concluded Becoming an Emotionally Intelligent Course here to start your emotional intelligence journey.

1. 

   Thanks for sharing

2. 

   Thanks Coach for all you do, I just realized that my first daughter is a auditory learner and we have…

3. 

   Wow this amazing, this gives me much value.. thanks coach ❤️ ❤️ Wendy

4. 

   Thank you so much for sharing Ma. Learnt alot

5. 

   Thank you ma🥰 This is an eye opener God bless you richly in Jesus name

Do you struggle with disciplining your children? Do you feel like you are always nagging, yelling, or punishing them, but nothing seems to work? Do you wish you could raise your children to be self-motivated, responsible, and confident?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this blog post is for you. In this post, I will share what true discipline involves and how to go about it. Many parents struggle with how to discipline their children effectively and positively. Some parents resort to shouting, hitting, or other harsh methods that can harm the child’s mental and physical health. But there is a better way: positive discipline.

Positive discipline is a parenting approach that focuses on teaching and guiding your child, not punishing or controlling them. It is based on building a loving and supportive relationship with your child, setting clear and reasonable expectations, and reinforcing good behavior. It is also about being responsible and respectful and modeling the skills and values you want your child to learn.

Here are some key points to remember about positive discipline:

• Discipline is a parent’s responsibility, not a child’s problem. You need to provide structure and guidance for your child, not yell or hit them.
• Discipline is about building your child’s skills, not expressing your feelings. You need to control your emotions and act calmly and rationally, not let anger or frustration take over.
• Discipline is about connecting with your child, not criticizing them. You need to praise and encourage your child, not belittle or blame them.
• Discipline is about responding to your child’s needs, not reacting to their behavior. You need to think before you act, and choose the best way to handle the situation, not just react impulsively or emotionally.
• Discipline is about having conversations with your child, not giving corrections. You need to communicate with your child, not lecture or scold them.
• Discipline is about providing content for your child, not imposing control. You need to offer meaningful and engaging activities for your child, not just tell them what to do or not to do.
• Discipline is about fostering growth in your child, not causing destruction. You need to help your child develop self-discipline, responsibility, cooperation, and confidence, not damage their self-esteem, trust, or happiness.

Many parents struggle with how to discipline their children effectively and positively. Some parents resort to shouting, hitting, or other harsh methods that can harm the child’s mental and physical health. But there is a better way: positive discipline.

In my book, The Discipline Is Not an Emergency, order a copy here , I wrote a note to parents and I said: “A seed grows with no sound, but a tree falls with a huge noise. Destruction is noisy. If your discipline strategy on your parenting journey is noisy, it means that it is destructive. Do not create drama that gives your children trauma in their lives. If your discipline is creating drama, that is not the right kind of discipline.”

Is your discipline creating drama? Aggression is not discipline, it is destruction. When we talk about discipline, a lot of people come to me and say, “Oh, you know, I just do what my parents did. If you are not aggressive to the child, the child will not listen.” No, you have just programmed your child to only listen to you when you are aggressive, and that is not the solution. You are not creating the right environment for your child. You are destroying it.

This is why we need to change the way we think about discipline. Discipline is not about what we do to our children, but what we do with them. Discipline is not about how we feel, but how we build. Discipline is not about how critical we are, but how connected we are. Discipline is not about reactions, but responses. Discipline is not about corrections, but conversations. Discipline is not about control, but content. Discipline is not about destruction, but growth.

STEPS FOR POSITIVE DISCIPLINE

1. SELF DISCIPLINE: The first and most important strategy for positive discipline is self-motivation. Self-motivation is the ability to do something without external pressure or reward. It is the inner drive that makes you want to learn, grow, and achieve. Self-motivation is essential for developing self-discipline, responsibility, cooperation, and confidence.

Why is Self-Motivation Essential for Discipline?

Unfortunately, many of us were not taught self-motivation as a skill. We were taught to fear punishment or seek approval from others. We were taught to depend on external factors to motivate us, rather than finding our intrinsic motivation. We were taught to react, rather than respond. We were taught to criticize, rather than connect. We were taught to control, rather than create.

When we discipline our children with self-motivation, we help them:

• Understand the why behind their actions and decisions
• Align their behavior with their values and goals
• Develop a positive and growth mindset
• Build a trusting and respectful relationship with us
• Become independent and confident learners and leaders

How to Teach Self-Motivation to Your Children?

One of the key steps to self-motivation is to clarify your why. Why are you doing what you are doing? Why do you want your child to do what you want them to do? When you and your child understand the why behind your actions and decisions, you are more likely to be motivated by your values and goals, rather than by fear or pressure.

In my book, The Discipline That Works, you can order a copy here , I wrote extensively about self-motivation and how to teach it to your children. I also shared some examples of how my children applied the lessons they learned from me in different situations. They were able to think for themselves and make smart choices because they knew the why behind their actions. If you want to learn more about how to teach your children self-motivation and positive discipline, you can check out my book, The Discipline That Works. You can also join the Inner Circle, where I share more tips and insights on parenting and personal development. Book a slot for the 2025 cohort of the Inner Circle Program here

HOW TO  ENCOURAGE SELF-MOTIVATION IN YOUR CHILD?

In my book, I shared the 4M’s approach: mastery, mindset, modeling, and motivation

MASTERY: Mastery is about setting achievable goals and providing opportunities for skill development. Part of mastery is self-confidence. You need to build your child’s confidence in what you’re teaching. Your self-confidence rubs off on your child. Your children can sense when you’re not confident about your parenting journey. They call it BBT: born before technology. They think you don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re providing information, not wisdom. But they don’t need information, it’s everywhere on Google. They need wisdom. Parenting today is about wisdom. Without wisdom, you will be unstable. The Bible says that wisdom and knowledge shall be the stability of our times.

MINDSET: This is about creating the mindset for self-motivation. Part of it is positive self-talk and the growth mindset. A few days ago, I taught the parents in the inner circle how to avoid becoming praise junkies. Some of us have become praise junkies to our children. We constantly say, “You’re perfect, you’re the best.” We think that’s how to build self-esteem. But that’s not true. You need to affirm your children, not praise them. Praise should not be about you but about them. When children consistently seek approval for their decisions, they fall into the praise trap. I’m going to share more about this with the parents in the academy. One clear sign of being a praise junkie is when children consistently seek approval for the decisions that they make. Of course, they have been conditioned to do so. You need to break free from the praise trap. Praise should not be vague and insincere.

Children understand abilities and qualities better when we praise them for their efforts, not their traits. Growth mindset says that we should praise the process that the child goes through, such as “Wow, you’ve put a lot of work into this and look at the results. If you try it this way, you might get even better. You can see that the more you work hard, the more you succeed.” That’s a growth mindset. It encourages the child to learn and improve. A fixed mindset, on the other hand, says things like “You’re a very smart child.” That’s harmful. It tells the child that they have a fixed amount of intelligence and that’s it. It puts the child in a box and limits their potential. That’s a fixed mindset. You can read more about the difference between growth and fixed mindsets and how to foster a growth mindset in yourself and others. I also talked about modeling and motivation and shared some stories that can help you.

• Modelling
• Motivation

2. Overcoming common obstacles

Maintaining discipline in every area of your life is challenging, and you’re bound to encounter obstacles along the way. One of the strategies that you need to develop is to identify and address those obstacles. What are the common obstacles that you face when it comes to discipline?

3. Lack of focus: Distractions, lack of concentration, and difficulty paying attention can all interfere with your discipline. Nowadays, a lot of children are struggling with focus. So some of the problems that you’re dealing with are not just about the child’s behavior, but about the underlying obstacle of focus. It’s not necessarily about what the child has done or hasn’t done. So you look at a child who has lost focus and is struggling to stay on task. Of course, it’s going to affect their performance and behavior. So the problem is that you’re majoring in the minor and minoring in the major. You’re chasing the child and shouting and panting and doing all of that, meanwhile the child is coming from another angle. Lack of focus is an obstacle, and it’s not going to change until you deal with it.

3. Fear of failure: When it comes to discipline, fear of failure, negative self-talk, self-doubt, and anxiety can all erode your discipline by sapping your motivation. The child has internalized a negative message about themselves and their abilities. Many of us struggle with discipline because we have that fear of failure. We can’t try, we can’t do things, we’re so afraid. So one of the things that our discipline did to us, what our parents did to us, was that they sold us fear. They did not sell us a skill called discipline. They did not teach us how to cope with failure and learn from it. They did not help us develop a growth mindset. So that’s why we’re afraid. We don’t know how to stay on track and build on that skill in the face of fear. It’s an obstacle, and it’s a big one. So stop raising children who live in fear, because according to you, you want to prove that you’re the lion parent, you want to prove that you can control everything. But you can’t. You can only guide and support your child to overcome their fears and grow their discipline.

4. Lack of time management: Time management is a crucial skill for discipline, and many children don’t know how to manage their time effectively. So you get angry, you get angry and say “Why did you do this? Why didn’t you do that?” But if you understand what discipline means, you would not raise a child without building their time management skills. Any child you raise without building their skills is not going to be able to thrive in life. Parenting is about skills building, not instilling fear.

When you don’t look at the obstacles to discipline, you’re going to be stuck and frustrated. And it all comes from your definition of discipline. If you see discipline as a skill that you can learn and practice, then you can overcome the obstacles that prevent you from building that skill.

Ever wished for better connections, deeper understanding, and a more fulfilling life as a parent or even in your relationships?

Join our Emotional Intelligence Course and embark on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

Why Join?

Unlock the secrets to navigating emotions, enhancing relationships, and achieving success in both personal and professional spheres. This isn’t just a course; it’s your key to a happier, more connected life.

What You’ll Gain:

Practical skills for real-life application

Supportive community for shared insights

Expert guidance from seasoned facilitators

Ready to transform?

To join the Becoming an Emotionally Intelligent Parent course, pay N20,500 ($23) to 0509494057 (GTB Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 09036633600.

You can register online here

Parenting in the social media era can be both constructive and destructive, depending on how you use it. When it comes to parenting in the 21st century, social media is a tool, not a problem. I often tell parents that the social media age will not go away. Instead, it will evolve and expand. From where we started with Facebook, we now have a million and one social media platforms out there. The fact is that the more you try to avoid or control them, the more you can’t manage them or teach your children how to use them wisely. You need to embrace that social media is not your problem. So don’t blame the tool, blame your inefficiency on how to navigate the tool. In essence, blaming social media for your parenting inefficiency is just like a bad workman blaming his tools. If you lack the skills to use the tool, it doesn’t render the tool useless. It’s about honing your skills to make the most of what’s available. Understanding this perspective is crucial. To sail successfully in this digital era, one must acknowledge the winds, not blame them. As the saying goes, “He that knows not where he sails, no wind is favorable.”

Moving forward, in this blogpost we will explore a framework for understanding the role of social media in parenting. If you find yourself attributing your parenting challenges solely to “children of these days,” it’s time for a paradigm shift. Embrace the tools available in today’s world, and you’ll find yourself equipped to champion the complexities of modern parenting.
Parenting in the Digital World; How to Navigate.

Knowledge
As a parent, understanding how to navigate the tools of the digital age is paramount and one of those tools is knowledge. Avoid falling into the trap of blaming external factors. Instead, seize the advantages this era offers, starting with the abundance of information and support. “If you grasp the use of today’s tools, you’ll emerge as a champion. Believe me, you will. I prefer to raise my children in this era, given the information I have at my disposal. While it may seem like a challenging period, it’s, in fact, an era of knowledge, totally different from the industrialization of our parents’ time or the agrarian era of our grandparents.

Just like parenting, maintaining a successful marriage in today’s world also needs knowledge. Without it, the path becomes chaotic. The idea that our parents had flawless marriages is often a romanticized misconception. In truth, many of their marriages were challenging. In a recent conversation with my husband, the governor, He shared a striking observation – 98% of the time, individuals unknowingly replicate patterns learned from their parents. The rising divorce rates are not a consequence of the present time or the behavior of today’s children; it’s a manifestation of a significant knowledge gap. The key factor in both parenting and marriage is knowledge, and without it, failure is inevitable. This isn’t a prophecy, prayer point, or curse; it’s a simple truth that we must acknowledge.

Unlike our parents, we now have abundant resources and knowledge at our disposal. We can’t afford to make excuses when the tools for success are within reach. The children of today are not inherently problematic; instead, they will hold us accountable for our lack of knowledge. Some have already begun challenging their parents. Embracing a commitment to continuous learning is paramount. We must confront the good, the bad, and the ugly aspects of parenting and marriage. What challenges and concerns do we face? Understanding these dynamics is the first step toward navigating the complexities of navigating parenting in the parenting era. The sooner we commit to learning and adapting, the better equipped we will be to meet the demands of the future.

2. Embracing Communication and Connection
The foremost challenge for parents in this era of raising children is the erosion of face-to-face conversations. Genuine, direct communication is gradually becoming an extinct practice in our homes. Even within the confines of the same house, the reliance on digital communication platforms is increasing. In many cases, individuals find themselves in the same house, yet conversations are conducted through text or FaceTime. Without intentional efforts to address these challenges, they can spiral into overwhelming and destructive forces. The very essence of communication is compromised, leading to a disconnect among family members. An alarming example is when a teenager confided in me, saying that in their home, even mealtime notifications are delivered through text messages, this shows a significant shift away from face-to-face communication.

3. Discipline is a Private Affair:
Discipline is one of the most private aspects of parenting. Why has it become a public affair? In today’s parenting with social media, many parents use these platforms to vent about their kids instead of talking to them. They share frustrations, seeking advice or support from online communities. However, this can lead to too many opinions and confusion. Some parents even post videos of disciplining their children on social media, which raises concerns about privacy and their children’s well-being. Instead of directly addressing issues, they turn to online platforms. To navigate this, it’s crucial to prioritize real conversations with your child over seeking validation on social media. Building a strong connection requires talking, understanding, and engaging with your family directly, without relying too much on online platforms for problem-solving.

Discipline in parenting is a personal matter. When you miss the mark, you’re not just trying to prove something, but seeking validation publicly. It’s not about showcasing; it’s about being responsible and disciplined yourself. Ask yourself, why am I disciplining my child on social media? If you know exactly what to do, you don’t need validation from others. Seeking validation is a wrong aspect of our parenting culture that we learned. You don’t have to prove anything to anybody. I have nothing to prove if my child makes a mess outside. There’s no need to defend my parenting skills. Why should it be about me? Sometimes, we struggle with our children making mistakes because we were raised to believe mistakes are unacceptable. It’s crucial to move away from this mindset. I wrote a book titled “Discipline Is Not an Emergency,” which is one of my favorites. Order a copy here. The essence of discipline is not an urgent display but a consistent, thoughtful approach. Let’s shift our focus from seeking approval to understanding and applying effective discipline.

4. Emotional Intelligence
To navigate parenting in this social media era you need emotional intelligence. If our emotions are not in check, the entire parenting process can go awry. Our childhood experiences often leave us with challenges in managing emotions. In our upcoming course, “Becoming an Emotionally Intelligent Parent,” starting on the 12th of February, we delve into the impact of childhood trauma on emotional regulation. It’s a foundational step because without addressing and healing these past experiences, efforts toward emotional regulation might not yield the desired results.

During the course, we’ll explore coping mechanisms, emotional deregulations, and normalized behaviors that originated from our upbringing. One significant module focuses on understanding our childhood, reflecting on our behaviors, recognizing distorted self-perceptions, and understanding how our upbringing shaped our traits. The distorted self-perception we carry from our childhood can affect how we perceive and teach certain subjects. The course aims to bring clarity and help participants navigate their emotional landscapes.

Additionally, I have valuable insights into the influence of social media on young people and the challenges and opportunities for parents. For instance, 68% of parents believe that social media affects their teens’ ability to socialize normally. This is a significant concern that we’ll address, emphasizing the importance of using social media as a tool for our benefit rather than letting it control us.

Online safety is another critical aspect, particularly protecting children from inappropriate content, online predators, and cyberbullying. The digital space is filled with potential dangers, and parents need to be aware and proactive in safeguarding their children. If you haven’t registered for the “Becoming an Emotionally Intelligent Parent” course, I encourage you to do so. The details are available, and it promises to be a transformative experience. Share this information with your family and friends, as the course will provide valuable insights for everyone. I’m passionate about teaching this topic in a unique way, offering perspectives and strategies that aren’t copied from elsewhere. Join me on Deliverance Day, February 12th, for an insightful exploration of emotional intelligence in parenting.

If you haven’t registered for the “Becoming an Emotionally Intelligent Parent” course, I encourage you to do so. The details are available, and it promises to be a transformative experience. Share this information with your family and friends, as the course will provide valuable insights for everyone. I’m passionate about uniquely teaching this topic, offering perspectives and strategies that aren’t copied from elsewhere. Join me on Deliverance Day, February 12th, for an insightful exploration of emotional intelligence in parenting.

Three Industry Experts!
Teaching ……
5 Modules!
5 worksheets!
5 days of learning
12th February is Emotional Intelligence Liberation Day

To join the Becoming an Emotionally Intelligent Parent course, pay N20,500 instead of #30,500 before Friday to 0509494057 (GTB Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 09036633600.

You can register online using this link: https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/emotionalintelligentparent

Parenting a teen has its own unique set of challenges. It is one key aspect of your journey as a parent. Many times, people do not realize that parenting a teenager will present different kinds of difficulties. It’s not uncommon for teenagers to crave independence and resist parental guidance. This phase can leave you wondering, “How can I reconnect with my teenager?” In today’s blog post, I’m going to teach you about understanding the five C’s of knowing your teen’s struggles and what to do to reconnect with them. This will help you to navigate the complexity of parenting a teenager.

1. Connection: The number one reason why parents struggle with their teenagers is connection issues. In my book, Connect to Correct, I explained that the child you do not build a connection with today as a toddler will be a problem for you as a teenager. This reflects the principle of seed time and harvest. Many times, you do not have to struggle with your teen if you have established a strong bond with them. I have heard people say that their children are not old enough for them to be in the academy or join the inner circle because their children are still toddlers. But by the time your children reach the adolescent phase, the struggle has already begun because you have lost connection with them. You should know that there is a lot of conflict that happens during this phase, and it is not because of you or the child.

These are conflicts that are inevitable and natural. And when they happen, one of the things that will help you is the fact that there is a connection between you and your child.

2. Control Issues: Control issues are one of the reasons why we are big on connection in the Inner Circle. We provide a daily tool that keeps you on your toes to connect with your child. Connection is not a weekly or once-in-a-while endeavor, it’s daily because anything you build is what you will reap.

Under control issues, you have autonomy struggles and power struggles. I was listening to my children review the book by Coach Chiedozie “Why Teenagers Fail”, and in this book, he was talking about the identity crisis, the autonomy crisis, and the destiny crisis, that teenagers face. These are all the crises that happen to your teenagers when they are going through this phase.

One of the bonus classes that we are offering for becoming an emotionally intelligent parent this year is understanding the teen’s brain and how to navigate it on your parenting journey. So if you haven’t registered and you have teenagers, you are on your own. I mean, this class will give you insight into how you can navigate through the process of understanding what is happening to the teen part of the brain. Register for this course here

When it comes to autonomy struggles, children begin to seek independence at this phase. Seeking independence is a good thing, not a bad thing. The problem is that we fight it because we don’t know how to find the balance between guidance and autonomy. There has to be guidance, of course, but that also leads us to power struggles.

There are a lot of power tussles that we engage in. We say, “No, you cannot do this or that,” because we do not understand how the teen brain works. There is something that makes them want to see what will happen. Most of the things your teenagers do are not because they don’t know whether it’s right or wrong. Some of them know it’s wrong, but they just want to try it because the brain tells them that that’s how to find independence. It’s a fight for life.

Have you read anything about the fight for independence in different countries and all of that? It’s similar to what your teens are going through. So all your threats, all your “I will do this or that to you,” your teen’s brain gets excited by that kind of challenge. So control issues are one of the reasons why you struggle with your teen.

3. Communication Issues:

So far in this blog post, we have explored reasons why you struggle with your child which included, connection, control, and for this third communication. In my book, “Solving Family Problems Through Effective Communication”, I wrote that the risky thing about raising teenagers in our world today is that they have a lot of options. There are a lot of people and media bombarding them with messages.

The problem is that you don’t fight to become the loudest voice in your child’s brain. No, you create it. You connect to influence, you don’t fight to influence. Many times, those communication issues happen because there is a difference in how you and your teen perceive and interpret things.

You cannot become the loudest voice in your child’s life by fighting. You fight and you lose the battle. That’s it! So, of course, in this phase, your teenagers have a problem. There is a communication gap, there is a misunderstanding. They interpret messages in different ways and I will tell you why as we go along. There is a limit to how much they share their thoughts with you.

The steps to influence your child are what we teach in the Creating a Social Roadmap for Your Genzer Inner Circle Class coming up this weekend for parents in our Inner circle. Book a slot here.

At some point, you will be on the fourth floor. When your children turn 13, you are on the fourth floor. You will no longer be the most influential person, even though you will still be the most important person if you have done the work to be the most important person. You will no longer be the most influential person when they are 13. Your influence is on the fourth floor.

If you have a child right now who is not 13 yet, please bear it in the back of your mind. Keep it in the back of your mind that at some point, you will not hear everything the way it is. Not because they want to lie to you, no, but because some information you cannot process the way you need to process it. And it’s also because you do not have the emotional intelligence to be able to take in some information. Because you have communication challenges, there is a lot of misunderstanding. There is a lot of back and forth.

That’s why you need training. Because if you are trained, you are in a better position to help your child. If you are not trained, you do your children a disservice by your ignorance. And then you fight because you will continue to fight where there is no fight.

4. Change in Priorities: One of the first things you learn as a teen parent is that the priorities of your teenager will change. They are now navigating their world and their priorities will shift. You begin to struggle when they begin to prioritize their friends. Do you know who is at the top of the fourth floor? Peer group. Do you know who is in the second group on that floor after the peer group? Other adults.

One of the most important people in the life of a teenager is other adults, not just their parents. That’s why we keep emphasizing mentorship. Your children will need it like their life depends on it, because at that point in time, they will need the other adult. And if you don’t set other adults in their life, they will pick any other adult, because there is no vacuum in parenting. Your child will fill the vacuum with whoever they can. It could be Kim Kardashian, it could even be Bobrisky, it could be anybody.

If you don’t intentionally create that system of who the other adults should be by the time they are teenagers, you will just be running around, because now you don’t even know who is influencing them. Remember, we are talking about the order of influence.

If you are an intentional parent, you will have created all of these four influence groups.

5. Coping with change: Coping with change is another reason why children struggle with their parents. Most of us do not understand why children struggle with the emotional roller coaster of their teenage years. Do you know that puberty affects the brain? There is something called the puberty brain in medicine. The brain changes its development during puberty. If you don’t have the book “Walking Your Child Through Puberty, get it here. I wrote this book while I was trying to understand what happens to children during puberty.

• Do you know that children at puberty become lazy?
• Have you noticed that your children become 14 or 15 and they are lazy about things? The brain and the whole drama during puberty, weigh them down. The reason for this is that we are not intentional in building our children’s emotional capacity. When puberty comes, it overwhelms them. And when this happens, You struggle to adapt to their mood swings, you struggle to adapt to their change in behavior.

The most difficult time for any child is between the ages of 13 and 18 because they are trying to navigate their world. They are trying to understand who they are. They are trying to understand what they are doing. If they get it wrong at this age, it will make a mess of their future. You know what they say, a fool at 40 was a fool at 14.

Are you ready to join the 1000 parents who have already registered for the Becoming an Emotionally Intelligent Parent course?

This course will show you in practical terms how you can work on your emotions and use them positively in your journey as a parent
1. Learn to Understand Your Emotions
2. Understand Your Yelling Triggers And Ditch Them
3. How Emotions Management can help behavior management/discipline in parenting.
4. Learn how emotion management helps us become better people.

WHAT’S IN IT FOR YOU?
1. Free Assess to Self-assessment Tools:
You will receive self-assessment tools and questionnaires to evaluate their
current EI level.
2. Weekly Challenges and Exercises
You will receive weekly challenges and exercises to apply practically
your newfound knowledge and skills.
3. Year Long Access
Enrolled participants will have year-long access to the course materials
4. Bonus Resources:
Participants will also receive bonus resources, such as EI-related Guides, access to past editions of this course etc.
5. Gain year-long access to course materials
6. Get Up to 50% Off With Our Early Bird Offers!

But hurry, this offer won’t last long. You have until Friday to register for the course and pay only N15,500 ($17) instead of #30,500.

To join the course, simply pay to 0509494057 (GTB Bank) with the name The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 09036633600. You can also register online using this link: https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/emotionalintelligence

“I am frustrated with Parenting, I don’t know if I am the only one but my children make this journey so difficult, I think my children are just too strong- willed and stubborn unlike your own children .

This is a complaint I get very often. While one parent thinks theirs is worse, what they don’t know is that every parent gets frustrated on their journey when the going gets tough, but what differs is what they are able to do with that frustration. Turning your parenting frustrations into connection moment is one of the supper powers of parenting and I have taught this over the years to help thousands of parents.

Have you ever thought that your worse moments can become the best moments for a while? Yes you heard right and this blog will be a light bulb moment for you.

In dealing with these frustrations, I have broken them down into :

6 P’s of Parenting Frustration and How to Turn Them to Connection

1. PRESSURE : Parenting, in these times is riddled with the weight of expectations. The pressure to excel in the role of parenting can be overwhelming. From societal standards to family expectations, the burden of raising children according to perceived norms creates pressure for tons of parents. These pressure points include ;

a. Pressure of Performance: The expectation to perform well and the constant comparison of our parenting with others, and even worse the invisible competition we create in our minds can contribute to this pressure .

b. Parenting Superiority: In a world where information is abundant, parents find themselves not only more educated but also more competitive. The pressure of proving that “my parenting is better than yours” is becoming crazy.

c. The Pressure of Fun: Surprisingly, there is a pressure associated with the concept of fun in parenting. I talked about this in the inner circle recently. From meticulously planned birthday celebrations to the pressure of living by societal expectations. The pressure of fun is real for families etc Other pressures include the pressure of educational expectations and fashion and appearance.

2. Perception: Perception to me, is at the core of parenting challenges. Life is shaped by how we perceive things, and when it comes to parenting, misunderstanding a child’s behavior can lead to frustration. It’s crucial to recognize that misinterpreting your child’s needs or not understanding their developmental stage can result in persistent frustration.

Parenting pressures like we mentioned earlier also adds to the mix. Whether it’s societal expectations or the fear of judgment, these pressures can cloud our perception. Instead of succumbing to societal pressure, it’s essential to focus on understanding and guiding Your child through their growth.

3. Power Struggles: Parenting comes with its fair share of frustrations, and one significant hurdle that many parents face is the power struggles that can arise between them and their children. These conflicts often stem from past struggles, a lack of connection, and misunderstandings about children’s developmental stages.

Power struggles with your child, especially during crucial developmental stages, can be a significant source of frustration. I believe that fostering a strong connection with your child prevents these struggles. Connection is the key to navigating past challenges and creating a harmonious relationship.

A misbehaving child seeks attention, even if negative. Understanding this helps in managing behaviors effectively. It’s crucial not to fall into the trap of prioritizing the wrong aspects—be it societal expectations or comparisons with others. Each parent’s journey is unique, and prioritizing your season of life is essential.

4. Prioritization challenges are a real struggle for parents. Managing and figuring out what truly matters often feels like an uphill battle. The constant pressure to keep up with others, especially in this competitive world, makes it difficult to prioritize our own needs and navigate through the different seasons of life.

In the Inner Circle, we don’t advocate for the concept of balance because, truth be told, there’s no such thing. The idea of achieving a perfect work-life balance seems unattainable. Instead, what we focus on is essentialism. Time, a factor often touted as manageable, is actually something we can’t control. We don’t teach time management; we teach essentialism. It’s about looking at time, prioritizing what truly matters, and embracing what is essential in that moment.

I’ve realized that trying to balance every aspect of life only leads to frustration. In my own journey, there have been moments when I felt overshadowed by high-achieving peers, questioning where I stand in my own season of life. Prioritizing my own season is the key to avoiding this frustration.

Life, as we know it, isn’t about finding the perfect balance, but rather about understanding what is essential in each season. By embracing essentialism over balance, I’ve found a more realistic and satisfying approach to managing life’s demands.

5. Perfection: Perfection, oh, the pressure it brings. Who told us that we must strive for perfection or raise perfect children? It’s a misleading notion. The idea that everything must fit into a perfect mold only sets us up for a life devoid of growth and improvement. If everything were perfect, what would be left to work on or strive towards?

In our current Inner Circle book of the month , ” Connect to Correct,” we explore the concept of perfection. I’ve often questioned why we, as parents, feel the need for our children to wake up one day and become executive bankers or fit into some predetermined perfect image. The truth is, if our children were already perfect, they wouldn’t need us. Perfection can actually hinder the growth and connection between parents and children.

The pursuit of perfection can also lead to power struggles, especially when we impose unrealistic expectations on our children. Wanting a two-year-old to be prim and proper when they come home? It’s unrealistic and sets the stage for frustration. Personally, I’ve learned that when children come to my house and don’t jump around, it gives me a negative vibe. Perfection is not only unattainable but can also create an environment that stifles the true essence of childhood.

6. Poor Emotions Management The final piece of the puzzle – poor emotions management. Discipline, to me, isn’t about creating drama that leads to trauma for my child. The root of frustration often lies in the inability to manage emotions effectively. It’s a skill not many were taught, and the result is often becoming a drama king or queen, causing unnecessary trauma.

I’ve witnessed instances where parents lose control over their emotions, creating a storm of pressure and drama. I recall a situation with our daughter a couple of years ago. The school contacted us about an incident, and instead of reacting with heightened emotions, my husband and I remained calm. We didn’t succumb to the expectation of creating a dramatic scene. We knew better.

Our daughter explained her side, and we calmly addressed the issue. The teachers, expecting a dramatic response, were surprised. It made me realize the power of not creating drama that leads to trauma for our children. We aren’t in the business of proving ourselves as ‘perfect’ parents; we’re focused on guiding our children through challenges.

It’s crucial to resist the temptation to create unnecessary scenes just for the sake of appearances. Some parents go to school, fueled by the need to show they are perfect. This not only misses the point but also traumatizes the child. Instead, I advocate for understanding and managing our emotions.

We shouldn’t crave drama or noise as a sign of effective parenting. It’s about knowing when to step in and guide, rather than reacting impulsively. I’ve even written a book called “Raising the Independent Thinking Child” that delves into these aspects. The key is not creating drama; it’s about being a pillar of support and understanding for our children. Managing our emotions is at the heart of effective parenting, ensuring that we don’t inadvertently cause trauma in the process.

I Can Show You How to Manage Your Emotions

As you know, my course Becoming an Emotionally Intelligent Parent course is starting soon and as we were onboarding the new participants, this question came in response to the promotion of the course and I would like to address this here.

“Hi, I’m eager to join the course, but I have a question. I am a Chronic Yeller, infact , I can yell for Africa. I have read books on managing my emotions, but I still struggle at the slightest provocation. Do you think that this course can help me parent with calm?”

Without a doubt, my answer is a resounding yes!

Here’s the reality: Your journey towards managing emotions and parenting with calm begins with a commitment to working on yourself. It’s not just wishful thinking; it’s about taking charge and enrolling in this course.

For instance, we’ve witnessed incredible transformations, like a mother of triplets parenting with absolute peace and calm and former chronic yellers breaking free from the habit – all thanks to this course.

So, to address the question directly – yes, I believe the “Becoming an Emotionally Intelligent Parent Course” is tailor-made for any parent aspiring to approach parenting differently in 2024.

The goal is clear: to guide you on the path to work on your
emotions and use them positively in your journey as a parent. But it doesn’t stop there. You’ll gain skills, tools, and knowledge to replicate these results throughout the year.

If you’re considering signing up, act swiftly. Over 700 parents are on board already and the early bird registration ends on January 21st, so this is your only chance to secure the current price of N15,500/ $17. Delaying might mean missing out on this exclusive discount.

To enroll in the course, you can pay N15,500 ($17) to 0509494057 (GT Bank) and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 09036633600. Alternatively, you can purchase online using this link: https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/emotionalintelligence.

Don’t hesitate—jump onboard now! I hope to see you in class