Our upbringing plays a crucial role in shaping who we become as parents. You are a product of who raised you, how you were raised, where you were raised, and what the person who raised you knew. In essence, if someone else had raised you, you would have been a different person.

One of the key points to note about raising anybody is that you are formed by what you see. The things you believe are a result of your programming, even if those beliefs are not based on principles. Parenting is programming. Thus, what your children become will be a result of the programming you give them.

Here are several ways your upbringing affects your parenting today:

Values and Beliefs:

The values instilled in you during childhood, whether good or bad—such as honesty, lying, and empathy—become the foundation of your parenting philosophy. These can be categorized into two stages: inherited values and belief systems.

Many people say African or Nigerian parents are very disciplined because every misstep by a child receives a “brain-resetting” slap, and so we call that discipline. Unfortunately, that is not discipline. We often define violence as discipline because that is what we have been socialized and programmed to believe. One inherited value is the misinterpretation of discipline, which has become part of us and part of what we are fighting to change today. Discipline is not violence. However, because we have inherited violence as a value, we continue it. As adults, many cannot finish one book a year due to a lack of discipline; they are overweight because they haven’t disciplined their appetite, yet they think they are disciplined because they punish a child for every misbehavior. Can you see the difference? Inherited values can mess up our journey and make it difficult to explain to a typical African person that using a cane is not discipline. Some say children raised abroad are spoiled, while children raised in Nigeria are disciplined. The truth is, parenting gaps exist everywhere. The principles of parenting are the same globally. If you fail here, you’ll fail there if you don’t follow the principles.

When it comes to belief systems, one common belief is about education. Many believe education is the way out. It’s true, but the question is, what is your definition of education? Often, education is just attention, awareness, and advocacy. Beyond these, we didn’t learn how to learn. Education alone won’t take you to the place of creativity. Learning how to learn is key. There is so much awareness but no creativity that brings actual results. Education is good, but it’s not the end. Without diving into transformation, accountability, and progress, we will remain stuck. Education is just the beginning.

Our belief system about work is another area. Many believe you go to school, get a job, and get paid. This system was created to build a middle class. If you don’t understand that we are now in a skills economy, you might misguide your children based on outdated beliefs. Training the head, heart, and hands of the child is crucial for their future survival. Our belief systems can either make or break our children. Relationship beliefs also matter. A mother might tell her daughter, “You’re here for your children. When the man misbehaves, just look away.” The belief that a woman’s money is her own, while the man’s money is for the family, persists today. We need to rethink our belief systems and how they affect raising our children. Life is shaped by upbringing and guided by the principles we pass on to our children. If we don’t unlearn and relearn, we will pass on outdated principles that don’t serve our children’s needs. It’s culturally unintelligent to compare our times to our children’s times. The principles you pass on will be determined by what you know.

Parenting Style:

Parenting style is influenced by two main factors: modeled behavior and discipline techniques.

Modeled behavior includes how your parents disciplined you, communicated, and showed affection. This influences your parenting style, whether you consciously follow their example or choose a different path. Many of us experienced a lack of tangible expressions of love. A significant number of adults have never heard their parents say “I love you.” We knew our parents loved us because they paid our school fees and provided food, but we didn’t experience pure love. This affects our relationships, even with God. We worship God with conditions because we never truly experienced unconditional love. Parents often use expressions of love as a punishment tool. If you’re not in touch with this reality, this trauma will affect future generations.

The second category is discipline techniques. How you were disciplined influences how you discipline your children, for better or worse.

Emotional Responses:

Emotional regulation and conflict resolution are critical here.

Emotional regulation involves how we learned to manage and express emotions as children. This affects how we handle our children’s emotions and outbursts. Children learn emotions from home, and struggles arise when the household members haven’t learned to regulate their emotions.

Conflict resolution is another important aspect. Many of us were taught confrontation, not conversation, leading to confrontational approaches instead of resolving conflicts through dialogue. This is worse in cases of sibling rivalry. The problem isn’t conflict itself but how to resolve it. Many were taught to stonewall during conflict instead of resolving it. Stonewalling is not a conflict resolution skill.

Communication Patterns:

If your family practiced open communication, you’ll likely practice open communication with your children. Listening skills are key in communication. Were you listened to as a child?

Parental Involvement:

The level of involvement your parents had in your life influences how involved you are with your children. Parents who had uninvolved parents might over-parent or under-parent their children. These are trauma responses. For instance, parents who lacked resources as children might give their children excess, even when it’s not beneficial, leading to issues like obesity. Trauma can distort your perspective.

Reflection and Adaptation

Recognizing the impact of your upbringing on your parenting is empowering. It allows you to reflect on what aspects to continue and what to discard. If you’re not changing anything about your parenting, there’s something wrong with your knowledge base. It means you haven’t recognized that some past practices are no longer viable today.

Self-reflection is crucial. Reflect on your childhood experiences and how they affect your parenting style. Identify beneficial patterns and those that aren’t. Reflection helps you understand a lot.

Education, Learning, and Creativity:

Equip yourself with knowledge about different parenting techniques and self-development. This can provide new perspectives and tools to enhance your parenting skills. You’re doing what you’re doing because you don’t know any other way. If you’re parenting in today’s world without a system that helps you learn in detail, you’re missing out. That’s why we run the Inner Circle in the academy. You need new perspectives to do better than the previous generation.

Mindful Parenting:

Become intentional in your parenting. Be present and attentive, making conscious choices about how to respond to your children’s needs and behaviors. Make these choices from a place of knowledge. Without new perspectives, you won’t be able to make conscious choices. Seek support when struggling. This is what parents enjoy in the Inner Circle.

Be Adaptable:

Be willing to adapt and change your parenting strategy as you learn and grow. You must be flexible to meet your child’s evolving needs.

The Inner Circle of the Intentional Parents Academy is a learning system you need to commit to. Start by enrolling in courses to fill the gap in your knowledge bank. If you don’t address your upbringing, you’ll never parent better. The past isn’t just in the past; it affects your present.

There is definitely such a thing as transgenerational trauma. If your mom or dad had a traumatic childhood and that trauma was also unresolved, it is passed down from parent to child, from unconscious mind to unconscious mind. Children are vulnerable. You picked it up. You were affected, too. Parents that were traumatized live out their trauma. They often can’t be fully there for you or become identified with the abuser who abused them. Or, in instances where your mom or dad survived a horrific event, such as the Holocaust, war, the terror and unbearable losses can live like ghosts haunting both them and you. All these various sources of trauma and their effects live on if they are unresolved and all can affect you long into your adulthood — in their many ways and many forms.

At our healing session starting 29th-31st May my self Wendy Ologe with two other amazing professionals Ben Preye Baldwin and Coach Tayo Iyortim will be walking over 500 registered participants through a journey of healing. Don’t numb your feelings thinking that time will heal it all, Time never heals anything, it’s what we do with the time that makes all the difference. You have only 5 days to go!

Don’t miss out on this chance to gain essential tools and support on your journey to recovery! To register for the Healing from Trauma Course, Simply Click Here :https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/healingcourse

Or pay #15,500 to 0509494057 (GTB). The Intentional Parent Academy.

Send proof to +234 903 663 3600. Remember that you will get two guides FREE the Confidence Guide and the Bedwetting Guide FREE just by registering at this course. See you at the top! I am rooting for you. Be Intentional

Bedwetting is a prevalent and often challenging experience for many children during their development. It occurs when a child involuntarily urinates while asleep.As adults, we often replicate experiences from our childhood, including how we react to similar situations with our own children. Despite knowing better, some of us respond with irritation, mirroring the way our parents reacted when we were bedwetters. This perpetuates patterns, sometimes worsening across generations.It’s disheartening when people admit to hitting a bedwetting child because no child enjoys it.Many parents resort to shaming their bedwetting children. We mistakenly view it as just bedwetting, but it’s really about using shame as a disciplinary tool. Shaming is convenient because we lack alternative methods.When I asked my mom why bedwetting wasn’t a big deal or a source of shame in our home, she simply said, “I read.” Her knowledge prevented me from experiencing the trauma of shame. Parenting is leadership, and lacking knowledge can lead to distress for both parents and children.Without my mom’s understanding, I might have endured the lingering effects of shame. Many children who are shamed develop timid behaviors, unable to sit up or make eye contact due to the trauma inflicted upon them. These outcomes are products of our upbringing and the parenting we experienced.

Parenting is indeed a form of leadership. Had my mother lacked knowledge, I might still be grappling with the trauma of shame today. Many children who experience shaming tend to adopt timid postures, unable to sit up straight or make eye contact due to the lasting impact of shame. These outcomes are often a result of our upbringing and the parenting we received.Despite being a common occurrence, bedwetting can be distressing. As a parent dealing with this issue, it’s crucial to regulate your emotions to effectively help your child. If your own upbringing involved triggers around bedwetting, you may find yourself reacting similarly.While some children achieve dryness by age two, others struggle to stay dry throughout the night. Statistics show that about 15% of five-year-olds wet the bed, with this number decreasing as children grow older, affecting only 1-2% of fourteen-year-olds and older. It’s essential to note that these statistics may vary across cultures due to different beliefs and practices.

Research indicates that boys are twice as likely as girls to experience bedwetting, which can also occur in children with developmental delays or emotional and behavioral difficulties.Normalizing the experience of bedwetting is crucial, but it doesn’t stop there. Reassure your child that bedwetting is common and nothing to be ashamed of. Feeling alone in their experience can exacerbate feelings of embarrassment and inadequacy.

By normalizing bedwetting as part of growing up, you help your child approach the issue with a more open mindset.I’ll share some strategies we used to support our daughter, which are also detailed in a comprehensive guide available for free to those who register for the healing from childhood trauma course.

Causes of Bedwetting

Medical and Developmental Factors

1. Urinary Tract Infections (UTIs): These can irritate the bladder, making it difficult for a child to hold urine during the night.

2. Constipation: A full bowel can press against the bladder, reducing its capacity to hold urine.

3. Diabetes: High blood sugar levels can cause increased urine production.

4. Hormonal Imbalances: Insufficient production of the antidiuretic hormone (ADH) can lead to excessive urine production at night.

5. Structural Abnormalities: Physical issues in the urinary tract can also contribute to bedwetting.

Developmental Aspects:

1. Brain Signals: The brain may not yet be fully developed to recognize and respond to a full bladder during sleep.

2. Bladder Capacity: Some children have smaller bladders that can’t hold much urine.

3. Muscle Activity: Higher levels of bladder muscle activity can lead to involuntary urination.

Genetics and Emotional Factors

1 . Genetic Link: Research indicates that if a parent bedwetted as a child, there is a 50% chance their child will also experience bedwetting. This genetic predisposition can help explain why bedwetting tends to run in families.

2. Emotional and Behavioral Factors: Stress and anxiety can significantly impact a child’s ability to stay dry at night. Emotional upheavals, such as changes in the family environment, school-related stress, or other anxieties, can exacerbate bedwetting.

How to Address Bedwetting

1. Medical Evaluation: While bedwetting is often a developmental phase that children outgrow, it’s crucial for parents to seek medical advice if the problem persists beyond a certain age (typically six years old). A medical evaluation can help rule out underlying issues such as UTIs, constipation, diabetes, or structural abnormalities.
2. Emotional Support and Empathy:Normalize the Experience: Reassure your child that bedwetting is a common occurrence and nothing to be ashamed of. Normalize the experience by explaining that many children go through this phase and that it’s a part of growing up.

3. Provide Emotional Support: Approach the issue with empathy and understanding. Avoid shaming or punishing your child for bedwetting incidents. Instead, offer comfort and support, emphasizing that it’s not their fault. Remember, the process of heg your child stop bedwetting doesn’t need to involve conflict; it needs to involve.

4. Build a Supportive Environment: Create a non-judgmental and understanding home atmosphere. Encourage open communication and let your child know that they can talk to you about their feelings and concerns.

5. Implement Practical Solutions:Fluid Intake: Limit fluid intake before bedtime to reduce the likelihood of bedwetting.

6.Bathroom Routine: Establish a consistent routine for bathroom trips before bed.

7. Protective Bedding: Use waterproof mattress covers and absorbent bed pads to manage accidents discreetly.

8.Encourage Self-Responsibility: No matter what age your child is, involve them in cleaning up after themselves when there is an accident. This encourages responsibility and helps them feel more in control of the situation.

We have put together a comprehensive Bedwetting Guide available for free to those who register for the Healing from Childhood Trauma class. This guide offers detailed steps and strategies to help manage bedwetting effectively.

Have You registered for the Healing from Childhood Trauma Course?

Traumatic experiences happen to more people than we can ever imagine. The problem is that, most people don’t even understand what is happening to them, while a greater number tends to shy away from having this conversation.

Numbing your feelings will not end the traumatic experiences you had. Work on yourself. Deal with your trauma before it destroys you. To do these, you will have to identify the signs of trauma first. In today’s blogpost I will be sharing with you some traumatic signs you should look out for and how you can begin to heal.

When discussing trauma, many of us may not recognize that we carry its burden. There’s often a reluctance to speak ill of our parents, as we attribute their actions to good intentions. But how can we identify childhood trauma? Here are the signs:

1. Bad posture: Many of us slump or hunch over when sitting down. This posture, often associated with shame, is a protective stance. Chronic shame, experienced during childhood, can manifest in these physical mannerisms. If you notice a child consistently slouching, lowering their shoulders and eyes, it may indicate underlying shame. In past decades, shame was frequently used as a disciplinary tool in parenting. Bedwetting, for instance, was misunderstood, leading to unjustified shame. Adults who appear shy may actually be shielding themselves from feelings of shame. Despite its prevalence, childhood trauma is often overlooked, leading to shutdowns in discussions.

If you grew up in the 80s or 90s, consider attending a healing class, as unresolved issues from that era may still affect you. Trauma isn’t just about what happened; it’s also about what should have happened but didn’t. Many of us were prematurely burdened with adult responsibilities.

2. People-pleasing: Those with chronic trauma often seek acceptance and love by constantly trying to please others. They struggle with setting boundaries and find it hard to say no, and rejection is particularly difficult for them to handle. Many people struggle to decline unnecessary requests, feeling pressured to meet expectations, especially during personal or familial celebrations. While these gestures may seem positive, the underlying motivation can be traced back to trauma responses.

3. Hyper vigilance: Children who have experienced trauma may exhibit hypervigilance, constantly scanning their surroundings for potential threats even in safe environments. Overprotective parenting, stemming from the parents’ unresolved trauma, is common. This can manifest in a reluctance to let children play outside or venture out unaccompanied. Exaggerated startle responses, difficulty relaxing, and restless behavior are all indicators of unresolved trauma. Overparenting, often mistaken for love, can lead to entitlement issues in children. Sacrifice is an essential aspect of parenting, but it shouldn’t be equated with suffering. Learning to prioritize and sacrifice effectively is key to healthy parenting.

4. Dissociation is a coping mechanism where children disconnect from traumatic experiences. This can manifest in various ways, such as feeling detached from oneself or the world, experiencing numbness or memory lapses, or merely observing life without actively engaging in it. It’s essential to address any numbness or detachment towards the caregivers, as unresolved issues can impact future generations.

5. Self-sabotage: Those who have experienced trauma often harbor negative self-beliefs and engage in self-destructive behaviors. These behaviors may include substance abuse, unhealthy eating habits, difficulty in achieving goals, sabotaging relationships, and engaging in risky behaviors. Harsh self-criticism and an inability to extend grace to oneself are common traits. It’s crucial to recognize these patterns and seek healing to break the cycle of self-sabotage.

6. Perfectionism: Perfectionism is another common sign of childhood trauma. The relentless pursuit of flawlessness, coupled with self-blame for any perceived failures, can hinder personal growth and parenting effectiveness. Embracing imperfection is essential for both personal well-being and effective parenting.

7. Avoidance of emotional intimacy: Childhood trauma can also manifest as an avoidance of emotional intimacy, making it challenging to form deep connections with others. Addressing unresolved issues with parental figures is crucial for achieving emotional intimacy in adulthood.

8. Difficulty with emotional regulation: Children who have experienced trauma often struggle with regulating their emotions, leading to mood swings, intense emotions, and difficulty expressing or suppressing emotions. Seeking healing and accountability are essential steps in overcoming these challenges.

To embark on a journey of healing, consider enrolling in a trauma-focused program or seeking therapy. By addressing childhood trauma, not only will you experience personal growth and healing, but you’ll also create a more nurturing environment for future generations.

We opened up registration at the Academy “Healing From Parenting Hurt” to help you get over these hurts for the sake of your children. We have an offer you can cash in on NOW! Yes a 50% Discount from original Fee of #30,500 ($23) 

So you get to Pay #15,500 instead of #30,500

We must become better for our children. Dealing with childhood trauma is a complex but necessary process. Through therapy, you can overcome childhood trauma. You can raise happy and healthy families, be productive citizens, and have a fulfilling life.

At the Healing From Parenting Hurt session, we will be helping you with the process, so you can take your life back again. We have helped almost 5,000 parents on their healing journey. 

Are you hurting? Time doesn’t change anything, it’s what we do with time that makes a change. Enrol today and start your healing journey 

To register for the Healing from Childhood Trauma Course, pay #15,500 to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 0903 663 3600

You can also register online here: https://selar.co/Healingcourse

While competence is important, confidence is essential for allowing children to  express their abilities.  Many parents prioritize  developing competence in their children,  unintentionally undermining their confidence in the process. This can result in  competent children who struggle to  share their talents. 

The journey to raising a confident child begins with you, the parent.  Children are highly influenced by their parents, and your confidence (or lack thereof) will have a significant impact on them.  Before you focus on raising a confident child,  it’s crucial to become a confident parent yourself.   If you weren’t raised with unwavering self-belief,  it can be challenging to instill it in your children.  Remember, the world rewards those who are bold and assertive, not just those who are skilled but silent. 

1 . The Ability to Encourage Autonomy and Independence.

One of the biggest hurdles to raising confident children is stifling their independence.  True independence goes beyond allowing them to do things; it’s about fostering their ability to think for themselves. As I wrote in my book, The Independent Thinking Child, the most valuable gift you can give your child is the ability to think critically and independently.

Daily challenges are inevitable, but instead of always swooping in to rescue them, empower them to solve problems and defend themselves. This is crucial, for example, in preventing bullying.  A child who feels bullied at home is more likely to experience it elsewhere.  The home environment is the first training ground for confidence.  Bullying behavior from parents can lead a child down two paths: becoming aggressive out of self-defense or becoming a people pleaser, unable to set healthy boundaries.

ii. Encourage Exploration and Risk-taking: Don’t shut them down or constantly tell them “no.”  Start small by allowing them choices like picking their clothes or shoes.  Support them in trying new things and developing new skills.  The goal is to raise children who are both competent and confident.

iii. Provide Opportunities For Mastery:

Mastery comes from experience, including making mistakes.  Allow your children to make mistakes.  Confidence thrives in an environment where failure is seen as a learning opportunity, not something to be feared.  Many parents fall into a “rescue trap,” jumping in to fix every problem.  Instead, cultivate a growth mindset for yourself and your children – embrace the idea that failure is a natural part of the learning process.

iv. Provide Opportunities For Your Children to Practice and Master Skills: Whether it’s completing projects or tackling new challenges, let them experience the satisfaction of accomplishment on their own.  Doing assignments for them hinders their growth and independence.  Every successful individual has honed their skills through practice and perseverance, and your child is no exception.

2 . Foster a Growth Mindset:

Many parents prioritize immediate results over the learning process.  This focus on results breeds insecurity and frustration, and can manifest in yelling or resorting to external motivators like paying for good grades.  A fixed mindset tells us that intelligence and talent are fixed traits, and that effort is irrelevant.  This belief can lead parents to think that yelling is necessary for their child’s success.

In contrast, a growth mindset emphasizes the value of the learning process.  It teaches children that intelligence and abilities can be developed through effort and perseverance.  By focusing on the process, you create a supportive environment where mistakes are seen as opportunities to learn and grow.

Even parents can struggle with the fear of failure.  It’s important to remember that failure is a natural part of the learning process.  Teach your children that failure is simply a chance to learn and improve.  For example, a child who burns a cake learns valuable lessons about following instructions and experimenting in the kitchen.  These failures, along with the perseverance to keep trying, are what lead to eventual mastery.

3 . Teach Assertiveness and Social Skills : Assertiveness is a key social skill that allows children to express their needs and opinions respectfully. It’s important to distinguish assertiveness from rudeness, which often stems from a lack of confidence.  Teach your children to be assertive while also being respectful of others.  Modeling assertive behavior yourself is crucial for your child’s development.      

4 . Provide Unconditional Love, Show and Express Affection Consistently: Many parents think that they love their children but their children don’t feel loved. Many parents don’t love their children, they just love what they do. A child you don’t love unconditionally battles with self esteem. Because knowing that they’re unconditionally loved creates a secured foundation for them to explore with confidence. When you don’t provide unconditional love and support for your children they would look for it elsewhere. You should be your child’s first and biggest cheerleader.

5 . Encourage Children to Build Relationships and Friendships. Many parents claim that their children are their friends. But you must understand that in parenting, friendship is just a tool, not a relationship. When you become friends with your children the boundary lines become blurred. Let the children build meaningful connections. You don’t shield your children from the world or from “evil” people because such things will multiply on the earth.

Are you tired of the endless cycle of yelling and frustration in your household?

It’s time for a change. The No Yelling Challenge is a transformative course designed to help parents like you communicate effectively, create harmony at home, and build deeper connections with your children.

In this comprehensive course, you’ll embark on a journey of self-discovery and growth as you learn proven strategies to replace yelling with positive communication techniques. Led by experienced parenting experts, each module is carefully crafted to provide practical tools and insights that you can implement immediately.

What You’ll Learn:

1. Understand the root causes of yelling and how to manage triggers effectively.
2. Master the art of active listening and communicating with empathy.
3. Discover alternative discipline methods that promote cooperation and respect.
4. Cultivate a culture of mutual understanding and connection within your family.
5. Develop practical self-care routines to manage stress and maintain balance.

Join thousands of parents who have already transformed their households with the No Yelling Challenge. Say goodbye to yelling and hello to a happier, more peaceful family life. Enroll now and take the first step towards becoming the parent you’ve always wanted to be!

Don’t miss out on this opportunity to transform your parenting journey. Register now for the No Yelling Challenge:

📅 Date: 22nd to 26th April,2024

💰 Early Bird Price: N6,999 ($6) (Offer Ends April 18th) instead of N15,500 ($15)

Payment Details: Pay N6,999 ($6) to 0509494057, GTBank, The Intentional Parent Academy. After payment, send your full name and proof of payment to our team via WhatsApp at 0903 663 3600

Remember, if I can ditch yelling, so can you. Let’s parent with peace and calm together.

Does your child’s behavior leave you feeling like you’re constantly running kiti kiti, kata kata?

You’re not alone. Many parents struggle with challenging behaviors. But before you resort to yelling, and punishment, take a deep breath and consider this: there might be a reason behind those outbursts.

This blog post dives into the root causes of difficult behaviors in children, and equips you with 5 effective parenting strategies to navigate these situations calmly and constructively. Let’s move from feeling overwhelmed to feeling empowered in your parenting journey!

Often, we discuss children’s misbehavior without delving into its root causes. Let’s categorize these causes into three factors:

1 . Developmental Factors: Unmet developmental needs can lead to misbehavior. Children act out when essential needs like autonomy, competence, and social skills aren’t fulfilled. A common example is lacking social skills. When a child misses out on learning expected behaviors, it can lead to challenges. For instance, if a child should be able to bathe independently but is not given the opportunity, it can create difficulties for both the child and the parent. This sets off a chain reaction of struggles within the household. Another critical factor is brain development. Immature brain development can result in impulsive and emotionally driven behavior, especially in younger children who struggle with regulating their emotions. It’s a misconception that children should naturally know how to regulate their emotions; it’s a skill that needs to be taught. Parents play a crucial role in this by understanding normal child development. For example, tantrums are a normal part of childhood, but it’s essential for parents to address them appropriately. Failure to do so can result in adults who struggle to manage their emotions. To raise emotionally resilient children, parents must first equip themselves with the necessary knowledge and skills.

2. Environmental Factors:

• Family Dynamics: Many parents overlook understanding their family dynamics, often resulting in comparisons with other families and children. This can trigger rebellion in children, leading to conflicts, stress, and instability within the family environment, which in turn can impact a child’s behavior. Environmental factors within the family also encompass divorce, single parenting, family trauma, and inconsistent family practices.

• Your Influence: You are the most significant influence on your child’s environment. The environment you create for your child goes beyond mere values. The outcome of a child’s development is shaped by who raised them, how they were raised, where they were raised, and the knowledge of those who raised them. Your ignorance can affect your child’s behavior positively or negatively. It’s crucial to reflect on whether your environment causes trauma for your child. Often, unnecessary drama stemming from past generations’ parenting traumas influences current parenting styles. There is a pressing need to redefine parenting for the well-being of our children. Our Inner Circle program is dedicated to this process of remodeling parenting, running throughout the year.

• Peer Influence: Negative peer relationships and experiences of bullying can lead to challenging behaviors, as children often mimic behaviors observed in their peers. Peer influence constitutes another significant environmental factor. That’s why our inner circle offers a course titled “Creating a Social Road Map for Your Gen Z Child,” addressing the importance of navigating peer relationships effectively.Book a slot for the inner circle here

3. Emotional and Psychological Factors:

• Regulation Challenges: Children who struggle with regulating their emotions may exhibit outbursts, aggression, and withdrawal as coping mechanisms for overwhelming feelings.
• Underlying Mental Health Disorders: Undiagnosed mental health disorders can contribute to behavioral issues in children.
• Learning and Communication Challenges: Children with learning disabilities may become frustrated and act out due to difficulties in understanding and completing tasks in academic settings. Limited verbal and social communication skills can also lead to frustration and behavioral issues. Communication plays a crucial role here; many resort to yelling due to a lack of effective communication skills. This inability to communicate assertively can lead to a loss of control. For instance, toddlers, unable to express themselves with words, resort to tantrums. It’s important to recognize that effective communication is essential in parenting and managing behavior.
• Trauma and Adverse Experiences: Children who have experienced trauma, abuse, neglect, or adverse experiences may exhibit behavioral issues as a result. Trauma-informed approaches are necessary to support these children. It’s essential for caregivers to understand trauma and address their own trauma as well. Sometimes, the trauma our children experience stems from our own past experiences. Notably, individuals raised without aggression are less likely to exhibit aggressive behaviors.
• Biological Factors: Some children may be genetically predisposed to certain behaviors. Understanding this aspect can facilitate dealing with misbehaviors more effectively.

Effective Parenting Strategies to use include: 

1.   Build your calm – This is the reason for our No Yelling Challenge in the academy. You need consistency in building your calm. Changing your children starts by changing you. 

2.   Learn positive communication – Foster open and positive communication. 

3.   Collaborative problem solving – Involve your child in finding solutions. Don’t just solve your problems alone. Encourage them to brainstorm ideas. When you collaborate in problem solving, it promotes a sense of empowerment and responsibility in your child. It can also lead to learning important skills such as negotiation and compromising which can help prevent future difficult behaviours. 

4.   Emotional regulation techniques – Teach your children how to manage their emotions. Teach your child techniques for handling their emotions. 

5.   Be consistent and predictable. Unpredictability is the enemy of parenting. Establish clear and consistent routines in your home. Consistency provides stability and it helps your child to know what to expect. It reduces anxiety, confusion, confrontation, commotion and chaos which contributes to difficult behaviours. You must do all these with calm. 

Understand that your child is being raised whether you are doing it or not. So you need to put in the time to raise them the right way. 

Yelling has negative effects on your child .. see slides to learn more … Anger and Yelling are the biggest frustrations of parents.

If you know my journey, you will know that parenting with peace and calm is possible.

I was that chronic Yeller who worked so hard to achieve calmness as a parent. I didn’t stop with myself I’ve worked with over 10,000 parents to let go of their anger and build deep, connected relationships with their children and spouses.

After authoring over 10 parenting best sellers; Connect To Correct, Walking your Child through Puberty , The Discipline That Works, Sex educate like a pro volume one and two , parenting launch plan , How to Love your child more , Raising an independent thinking child , From Yelling to Calm and Resolving Sibling Rivalry and 18 other guides that have sold in their tens of thousands; Parents have asked I put together tools and strategies that can help one move you from Yelling to Calm.

Yes, here we go I’m offering you a 5 – day accountability challenge, where I guide and give you strategies that will take you from yelling to Calm.

I guarantee this Challenge will change your life as a parent:
• If you are a parent that struggles with anger, you need this Challenge?
• If you have being Yelling at your children and actually get tired at some point you need to join this challenge
• If you are looking for alternative ways to modify your child’s behaviour without shouting down everyone, you need this Challenge.

Join me for this challenge as I share with you how I walked through my own journey from being a yeller to a calm Parent.In this 5 days Challenge will give you a jumpstart on your journey to tame your temper.

This first second early bird registration ends in few hours after that it rises to N8,999

To register for the No Yelling Challenge, simply click here:
https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/NoYellingChallenge

Or pay N6,999 to 0509494057 (GTB). The Intentional Parent Academy. Share proof to +234903 663 3600.

If I can ditch yelling, you too can.

Come let’s parent with Peace and Calm

Nearly all parents struggle with managing their emotions and yelling at their children. Many say they’ve tried to control their anger, but the truth is they might not recognize their triggers. I asked parents in our academy to share what causes them to yell. Interestingly, the reviews revealed that their children weren’t the cause of their yelling.

This is crucial because many parents believe their children make them yell. However, the root of the problem often lies within the parent themselves.

While stopping yelling might seem difficult, it’s achievable by mastering skills like emotional control. Yelling may provide a temporary solution, but it won’t solve the underlying problems.

While yelling may silence your child in the moment, it doesn’t address the root cause of their misbehavior. If it truly solved the problem, wouldn’t you have stopped yelling already? Simply stopping yelling isn’t enough. You need to find more effective parenting strategies. Prayer alone won’t solve the issue.

I still get upset and yell sometimes, but now I take responsibility for my actions. This allows me to choose my responses rather than react impulsively.

Taking responsibility is a crucial step in overcoming the urge to yell. 

The Five Parenting Skills You Need: 

1. Communication Skills:

Effective communication is key to positive parenting. It goes beyond simply staying calm. Many calm parents struggle to communicate their expectations clearly. Yelling or aggression are not effective communication strategies either. In fact, a significant number of parents yell out of frustration with communication breakdowns.

True communication involves ensuring your children can hear and understand your message.  Many parents mistakenly equate authority with force and control. However, genuine authority stems from trust and influence.  Relying solely on the parenting methods you experienced in your childhood can be detrimental to your children. By developing effective communication skills, you can learn to express yourself clearly and respectfully, fostering a positive parent-child relationship.

2. Emotional Intelligence Skills:

Managing your emotions is a crucial parenting skill. Simply staying silent doesn’t equate to emotional control. You can suppress your feelings but still be internally riled up. This can lead to a later explosion, which can be even more damaging. Emotional intelligence empowers you to effectively manage your emotions and respond thoughtfully in challenging situations. 

3. Discipline Skill:

Discipline provides structure, which is essential for reducing yelling. It’s not about punishment, but about teaching your children responsibility and self-control. Effective discipline involves setting clear expectations, implementing consistent consequences, and using positive reinforcement.  Yelling is a destructive form of discipline that can damage your child’s self-esteem. 

4. Leadership Skills:

Parenting is a form of servant leadership, where you prioritize your children’s needs and well-being. Authoritarian leadership styles that rely on control and aggression are counterproductive.  Effective leadership involves guidance, encouragement, and setting a positive example.  

5. Connection Skills :

Strong relationships with your children are key to reducing yelling. The more connected you feel to your children, the easier it is to communicate effectively and manage challenging situations. Prioritize quality time with your children, actively listen to them, and show them affection. Nurturing a strong connection fosters a more positive and collaborative parent-child dynamic. 

Yelling may seem like a quick way to get your children to obey, but it’s ultimately a destructive parenting tactic.  By  developing the five key parenting skills  – communication, emotional intelligence, discipline, leadership, and connection – you can build strong, trusting relationships with your children and address challenging behaviors more effectively. Remember, parenting is a journey, and there will be setbacks along the way. But by focusing on these skills and staying committed to positive parenting practices, you can create a more harmonious and nurturing home environment for your children.

Do you know that 90% of the parents who come to me have a problem with controlling their emotions and yelling. I often hear them say “I really want to always get a hold of myself but it’s not easy”. “I really want to react calmly to my child’s misbehavior but I cant”

Here’s the truth, parenting with calm is a skill, not just a wish, I have once been at that point where I was “wishing it” but until I learned the skills need to stop yelling absolutely nothing changed.

Then you should join us for this challenge

Whether you’re dealing with toddler tantrums or teenage rebellion, this challenge will give you practical skills and strategies you need to move from a yeller to a calm parent.

Don’t miss this challenge , tag a friend .

Join me for the No Yelling Chaallenge as I share with you how I walked through my own journey from being a yeller to a calm Parent. In this 5 days Challenge will give you a jump start on your journey to tame your temper.

In 5 days, you WILL notice a change in how often you yell at your children.

You will learn how to

✔Dramatically decrease how often you lose your temper with your children.

✔Feel more confident in your ability to stay calm when things get chaotic.

✔Create a happier, more relaxed home for your entire family
✔Ways to move from a consistent yeller to a calmer parent

✔ How to use proven strategies and tools to modify behaviors in your children without having to yell.

The first 500 participants to register will get my book 30 Days Sex Conversation Guide; a practical guide on age-appropriate Sex conversations for any age group.

To join for the 5-day No Yelling Challenge: simply click here:
https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/NoYellingChallenge

Or pay #5,999 to 0509494057 (GTB). The Intentional Parent Academy. Share proof to +234 903 663 3600.

Fee changes from April 10th.

Learn more here: https://wendyologe.com/noyellingchallenge

“The most important classroom for your child isn’t within the four walls of a school; it’s right within your home, guided by you—the parent. This means you are the primary and most influential teacher in your child’s life. This blog post aims to address questions such as, ‘How am I the most important teacher?’ and ‘How can I step into this role, even if I’m a career person or an entrepreneur who has never set foot in a classroom except to pick up my child?’

As the first and most significant teacher for your child, you hold a key role in their academic success, growth, and lifelong learning. One of the gravest mistakes parents make on their journey is relinquishing total control of their child’s learning to the school. This often stems from ignorance prevailing over other reasons.

Parents often believe that finding the best schools and paying hefty fees absolve them of further responsibility. However, it’s crucial to recognize that paying school fees is merely the bare minimum in parenting; active involvement constitutes the lion’s share of the responsibility.

Research indicates that parental involvement is the primary predictor of a child’s academic success. As your child’s number one teacher, you are uniquely positioned to identify challenges and implement solutions within your parenting journey. You can recognize your child’s strengths, areas of growth, and tailor their educational experiences to match their unique learning style and pace.

For instance, if a child struggles with focus, the primary responsibility to assist them lies not with the school, but with the parent who can integrate solutions into their parenting approach.

Being your child’s number one teacher also allows you to understand their strengths and areas for improvement, enabling you to customize their educational experiences accordingly. Often, when parents think of involvement, they limit it to helping with homework, paying fees, and attending PTA meetings. Let’s delve deeper into these roles.”

Roles of Parents as the Number One Teacher:

1 . Emotional Anchor: Parents serve as the emotional support system for their children, providing encouragement and creating a safe space for learning and development. This emotional stability is essential for enabling children to thrive academically.

2. Modeling Behavior: Children are natural imitators, often mimicking the behaviors they observe in their parents. Therefore, it’s crucial for parents to exhibit positive behaviors that can influence their child’s academic journey. By demonstrating habits such as reading, curiosity, and perseverance, parents can instill valuable traits in their children that contribute to academic success.

3. Creating a Suitable Learning Environment: Beyond the physical aspects of the home environment, such as comfortable furniture and study areas, parents must cultivate an atmosphere conducive to learning. This involves modeling behaviors that support academic growth, such as limiting screen time and fostering a culture of curiosity and exploration. A cognitively, emotionally, and psychologically supportive environment is vital for a child’s educational development.

4. Advocacy: Parents play a crucial role as advocates for their children within the educational system. This includes ensuring that their child’s voice is heard and respected in the school environment, advocating for inclusivity, and supporting teachers to facilitate their child’s learning journey effectively. Parental involvement in advocating for their child’s needs can significantly impact their educational experience.

5. Foundational Learning: The home serves as the first environment for a child’s learning journey. During the formative years, typically ages one to five, children absorb vast amounts of information and develop critical skills. Parents are instrumental in laying the foundation for their child’s future academic success during this crucial period. Investing time and effort in early childhood education, even before formal schooling begins, sets the stage for a lifetime of learning.

How a Parent can Align with their Role as number one Teacher

1. Create a Supportive Learning Environment: Establishing routines and consistency is essential beyond just providing a study room or a well-stocked library. Consistency in setting study schedules helps children identify dedicated times for learning. Fostering a positive attitude towards learning is crucial as negative attitudes from parents can inadvertently affect children’s perceptions. Parents should actively model lifelong learning by showcasing enthusiasm for acquiring knowledge, sharing personal interests, hobbies, and experiences, and emphasizing the value of continuous personal development. Making learning enjoyable by integrating elements of play, creativity, and excitement into educational activities can significantly enhance children’s learning experiences, particularly during their early developmental stages.

2. Communication and Collaboration with the School: Many parents tend to have a transactional relationship with their child’s teacher, only engaging when there are complaints or negative feedback. However, it’s vital for parents to establish open lines of communication and collaboration with the school. Beyond addressing concerns, parents should proactively share insights about their child’s learning strengths, temperament, and effective strategies observed at home. Collaborating with teachers not only helps address immediate concerns but also fosters an environment where the child can thrive. Additionally, feedback from teachers provides valuable insights into a child’s behavior and performance within the classroom setting, helping parents adjust their parenting approach accordingly.

 3 . Fostering a positive attitude towards learning, particularly in subjects like mathematics, is crucial for a child’s academic development. Often, parents’ own apprehensions about certain subjects can unintentionally influence their children. For instance, if a parent expresses uncertainty or reluctance when confronted with a math problem, whether verbally or through non-verbal cues, the child may interpret this as a sign that math is difficult or undesirable.

However, parents have the power to change this narrative and cultivate a positive relationship with math for their child. Instead of conveying doubt or negativity, parents can adopt an attitude of encouragement and resilience when faced with math-related challenges. By demonstrating a willingness to tackle problems and learn alongside their child, parents can instill confidence and enthusiasm for math.

4. Make learning fun: Making learning fun is essential for engaging children and fostering a positive attitude towards education. Many parents perceive learning at home as tedious and authoritarian, resembling a military-like environment with excessive rules and threats. However, by embracing the concept of making learning enjoyable, parents can create a vibrant atmosphere that encourages curiosity, creativity, and enthusiasm in their child’s educational journey.

Incorporating elements of play, creativity, spontaneity, and enjoyment into learning experiences can significantly enhance a child’s engagement and retention of information. Children naturally thrive when activities are emotionally stimulating and enjoyable for them. By infusing learning with fun and excitement, parents can create an environment where their child feels motivated to explore, experiment, and discover.

5. Leverage Everyday Activities for Learning Opportunities:

  Intentionally integrate learning into your child’s daily routines. Everyday activities provide numerous opportunities for learning and skill-building. For example, during mealtime, you can teach math skills, etiquette, and social development. Engage your child in basic math operations during meal preparation, and encourage critical thinking and spatial awareness during trips or walks. Chores such as washing clothes, sorting laundry, setting the table, and sweeping can also be maximized for learning opportunities.

6. Make the Most of Their Play Time:

   Encourage active play, especially activities involving cardio exercises like jumping and running. According to educational neuroscientists, such activities trigger the release of hormones that aid in neural connections, enhancing cognitive development. Playtime is crucial for building neural connections and fostering a deeper understanding of concepts.

7. Support Literacy and Numeracy Development:

 Early childhood and primary education in Nigeria prioritize permanent numeracy and literacy skills, along with critical thinking and effective communication. It’s essential to ensure your child develops strong foundational skills in numeracy and literacy to support future learning. By age five, children should be proficient in basic math operations and number work, as well as capable of independent reading. Encourage reading at home from an early age to build vocabulary and comprehension skills. Additionally, integrate math into everyday activities to enhance critical thinking and problem-solving skills. Limit screen time and prioritize activities that promote cognitive development, such as walks, car rides, and baking, which provide ample opportunities to teach spatial awareness and mathematical concepts.

The long-awaited learning style course went live this week and the feedback, enthusiasm, and joy in the learning hubs show that the learning style course is a total liberation for families. The testimonials coming in are like a one-year course progressive.

Want to join this transformative course, reach out to our team on 0903 663 3600. Have you registered for the Learning Style Course yet?

To enroll, simply visit:

To register for the Learning Style Course, complete the payment of N15,500 to Bank: GTBank Account Number: 0509494057 Account Name: The Intentional Parent Academy or pay online: https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/Learningstylecourse2024

In a study by Stanford University, researchers found that intrinsically motivated students, that is, students who had genuine interest and enjoyment in learning consistently outperformed their peers who lacked adequate motivation. One striking example was seen in a group of elementary pupils who participated in a science project. Those pupils who were intrinsically motivated, that is to say, those pupils who were curious, who desired to understand the topic, completed the concept with higher quality retained the knowledge, and consolidated it a lot better than people who needed to be externally motivated.

This blog is geared towards answering the question of what I can do to motivate my child. What can I do for my child to be intrinsically motivated? A good number of learners do not think or consider the importance of studying until there is an exam facing them. The truth is that the rule of learning states that there is a need for enough interaction with the subject matter.

The concept of motivation as regards learning, is the inner intrinsic drive or desire that compels an individual to engage and participate in educational tasks. We have intrinsic motivation which is driven by internal factors such as curiosity, enjoyment, desire, self-motivation, and self-regulation. Extrinsic motivation is the weakest form of motivation, though it can be used to spur learners. Extrinsic motivation is the weakest because it is dependent on external factors and in a case where it is not available the learner will procrastinate, and defer learning.

Why Learners are Unmotivated.

1. Lack of relevance. Many learners struggle to see and identify the relevance and importance of what they are learning in their lives.
   
   
2. The fear of failure. For many children, instead of the fear of failure spurring them, it demotivates them because a child who consistently struggles with a concept will be unmotivated. They think, “I did this thing last time and I failed it, so why should I now try again?
3. The lack of self-efficacy and self-confidence. When children do not believe in themselves and do not have confidence in their ability, when they have a fixed mindset that says, intelligence is fixed, they begin to relinquish the ability to succeed in learning to the people whom they consider as high flyers forgetting that learning is not fixed, but it is transcendent meaning if you do the work, you get the prize.
4. Lack of self-mastery. Your child’s temperament can affect their motivation, not just in learning, but also in their study patterns, the way they navigate life, chores and so on. Temperaments have their strengths and weaknesses. For some children, the weakness of their personality and temperament is that they lack motivation and need external motivation to motivate them. Another factor is that the parents of these children would like to use fear and threat to motivate that child meanwhile the personality of that child is averse to those triggers you are using to motivate the child. 
5. Learning difficulty. When a child finds it difficult to learn, it could be a major reason why they are demotivated. For instance, imagine you move to another country that speaks a different dialect than you, and there is no Google Translate, to help you understand. How will you feel? It’s the same way your child struggles to understand when there is a lack of understanding of a concept. If your child is unmotivated, you must check if they have learning difficulties or disabilities.

Tools For Motivating Your Unmotivated Child

1. Understanding the relationship between motivation and personality. Motivation and personality cannot be separated, they are interrelated. We have the extroverted child, as well as the introverted child. The way to motivate the extroverted child will be different from the introverted child. One of the ways to motivate an extroverted child is to find a way to tactfully use external motivation because they are motivated by extroversion and socialism. They just want to be out there. If you are not intentional, the extroverted child will struggle to learn. There are certain tools you can use to help an extroverted child like a peer coaching system, which is a system of accountability for example having a friend who would always call them to study. For the conscientious and introverted children – the self-aware, melancholy perfectionist children, one of the ways to motivate them is to set goals for them. They are willing to go through anything to reach that goal. The strong-willed learners love novelty and innovation. They are driven by curiosity. They are easily bored as they love teachers who are kinesthetic in their teaching. For this kind of child, their learning process must be innovative. Teach them skills like mind maps, highlighting, and annotation. For the agreeable learners who just want peace, you would need to employ extrinsic motivation while you work towards intrinsic motivation. The intrinsic motivation for these learners will be dependent on your parenting skills because they are usually laid back. They naturally lack that internal push so parents must intentionally use extrinsic tools on their way to building their self-regulation.

2. Equip them with study skills. Overwhelming workload load and distractions can be a demotivation to children. Study skills are very important for every child, every personality, every age group and learning style. Study skills include skills such as:

Spaced repetition – When a child studies this way, according to the neuroscience of retention which states that a lot of times when an individual has studied a material for a while it would take that person a period of deep sleep for permanent learning. Before knowledge is consolidated, the repetition in the memory must be constant. You can’t space repeat if you are reading only to pass an exam. For a 13-week school term, for example, a child who studies from week 1 would achieve more learning than one who just began to read when it was exam time.

How to help achieve this is to set a study time table, a schedule that incorporates a regular review season which will enforce learning and enhance long term retention.

Utilise a multisensory approach. We already know that we have different learning styles, learning strengths and  we have different intelligences according to the theory of multiple intelligence so learning is not a one size fits all approach. That’s why one of the greatest philosophers said that if you judge a fish by its ability to fly, it would spend its whole life thinking it was an idiot. Multisensory approaches must be tampered according to their learning styles. 

Another study skill is practice retrieval. This involves actively retrieving information from your memory through testing and self quizzes. This is the concept that mock exams emphasise on. What this does is that it helps strengthen the memory retrieval and doing this enhances long term memory. Whatever concept your child studies, get them to practise questions on their own. You may also get them to assume the role of a teacher whereby they come back to teach you the concept they just learnt. This is where peer mentorship and collaborative learning come in handy because the child takes the role of the teacher and as they try to teach each other they try to remember, demystify it and break it down in such a way that would enable them to teach another person. After that session, learning has happened. 

3. Create a supportive learning environment. Your child is not motivated to learn because they lack a supportive learning environment both in school and at home.

4. Intentionally foster a growth mindset. One of the ways to achieve this would be by emphasising on efforts rather than grades. To motivate your child you need to shift your reinforcement from focusing on their grades to their effort. Because a child could put in 100 percent effort and come out with a 60 per cent result, and the reverse is also true. So indeed, exams are not a true test of knowledge. Because you criticise a child’s grade, and not effort, the child gets demotivated and decides not to make any more effort in the future since his last effort was neither noticed nor praised. By praising efforts, you inculcate a growth mindset into them which motivates learning.

Have you seen our facilitator list for the upcoming course on “Understanding Your Child’s Learning Style”? With a team comprising a parent coach, clinician/autism professional, and a learning coach, this course is going to equip you with the necessary knowledge to understand and support your child’s learning journey.

Only 4 days left until the start of the 2024 Cohort of the “Understanding Your Child’s Learning Style Course”! Don’t miss out!

Understanding Your Child’s Learning Style Course 2024 offers a completely revamped curriculum and experience. We started running the “Understanding Your child’s learning style” course in 2018 and over the years, we have trained over 10,000 parents to understand how their children learn.

I remember at the very first batch a particular parent said to me “Coach Wendy I wish I attended this course some 20 years ago, some of the challenges I had with my son won’t have had it.”

To join the learning style course starting in 6 days time, pay N15,500 to 0509494057 (GTB) The Intentional Parent Academy. Send proof to 09036633600. 

Register Online Here 

https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/Learningstylecourse2024

Do you know the amazing thing? You get a 25% discount if you pay before the 24th of March. So instead of paying N20,500, you get to pay only N15,500.

Offer valid till March 24th, 2024.

Busy schedules and deadlines can turn eve most dedicated parents too. leave their child’s academic growth solely in the hands of school or lesson teachers.
But unfortunately or fortunately, the key to unlocking the child’s true learning potential begins right at home. Even the best intentional parents make mistakes that unintentionally hinder their children from learning. Here you will be equipped with the tools that you’ll need to identify and overcome these common mistakes and how to nurture your child’s natural love for learning and set them on the path of academic success.

But the first thing to know is that the key to unlocking the child’s potential begins at home. It doesn’t happen outside the home. The school does the job of enhancement. But unfortunately, we have swapped roles.

The 5 Parenting Mistakes

1. Neglecting Emotional Support : Many times parents are focused on the grades which leads to over-emphasising grades and performance without acknowledging the emotional well-being of the child. It’s possible to raise a child who just performs and does not learn. This is exactly how many of us learnt in the past, we only performed, we didn’t learn. Now we are turning our children into performance freaks, so instead of learning, all they do is perform, and this affects their mental health. The result is that emotional stress can hinder cognitive functions which eventually affects the child’s ability to learn and to focus effectively.

The epidemic we have now is that children leave school at 20, but are confused about what to do, not working, not doing anything, bingeing on Netflix and sharing on TikTok. These are children who graduated with good grades, yet are stuck, many of them are trophy children. The trophy child is the child who usually suffers most from this particular parenting mistake. So as a parent, you must be careful in your emphasis on good grades. Education is first internal, then external. Creativity is internal, it’s not learnt on the screen or in the school. One of the ways to address this problem is to foster a supportive environment where addresses emotional needs and fosters a positive attitude towards learning and this happens in the home. The only place children learn is at home. Every single tech giant had fathers who had garages where creativity was fostered. Where is your home garage?

2. Lack of Effective Communication: Assuming that academic progress is solely the school’s responsibility leasing to minimal communication about the child’s learning experiences. Limited communication can result in missed opportunities to identify challenges and provide necessary support. You need to learn and establish effective communication channels with everybody who is involved in the upbringing of that child. If for example you have a nanny at home, the truth is that the person is 80 per cent more of a parent to your child than you. They come back from school to meet the nanny, are fed by the nanny and are helped with homework by the nanny, and then they return with their emotions everywhere. That nanny is just as untrained as you are, unfortunately. So again, your children are struggling to learn even though they are passing exams. If your children spend all their time in school, you are not the one parenting them. If your children spend more time on TV than you spend with them, TV is the parent. So there is no place for creativity in your absence. Time is the currency of parenting. Because you don’t have time, you don’t communicate with them and you don’t know them. If that is your method of parenting, you have less influence than you think you have. Lack of communication will decrease creativity in a child. What kind of communication is happening in your home? Many parents were raised by house helps and that is what killed creativity in many adults today.

3. Overlooking individual learning styles or applying a one-style-fits approach in teaching and learning

Unacknowledged learning preferences may lead to disengagement and hinder the child’s ability to grasp and retain information. This is the reason we run the “Understanding your child’s learning style course” in the academy where you learn how to identify the different learning styles of your children and enhance learning. Once you understand learning styles, you won’t struggle with your child’s learning as well as discipline. Many times parents tend to teach their children with their own learning style. If you don’t understand how your children learn, they will not learn how to think on their feet. We must move our children from just mere education to solving real time problems. Africa is full of educated people, yet no creativity, no problem-solving.

4. Micromanaging Learning Process : Getting over-involved in every aspect of our children’s learning process leaves no room for independent thinking and problem-solving. Micromanaging stiffens creativity, hinders decision-making and impedes the development of self-efficacy and that’s the only place people learn to solve problems. You must encourage autonomy by providing guidance and support while allowing the child to take ownership of their learning journey. There’s something wrong if you are flustered about exam time for your child. It makes the children handicapped. The more independent a child is, the more creative the child. You need to teach your children autonomy, study skills and so on. Learning is not an emergency, it must follow a process.

5. Ignoring the importance of holistic development : Focusing on academics alone. Some parents complain about children reading every other book but academic books. But remember academic excellence is always a result of holistic development. Any child you focus on their holistic development will automatically do well. When you narrow focus on academics, you’ll hinder your child’s ability to navigate the real world challenges and collaborate effectively. You must emphasise a balanced approach, nurture not only academics, but also, social, emotional, and creative aspects of a well rounded individual.

If you avoid these parenting mistakes, you are going to be at the point where you are helping your child learn and succeed. Enrol for the learning style course and get to the place where your children will get fulfille

IS YOUR CHILD STRUGGLING TO LEARN?

Your child might be struggling because you don’t understand how he learns!
My daughter is a dominant auditory learner I will say 80%. This makes her verbal and auditory coordination so apt!

A few years ago, we got them bicycles to learn, in split seconds her twin brother who is a dominant Kinesthetic learner started to ride. So kinesthetic learners find physical activities very easy to come by. Our son learned to swim the same day the swim Coach started his lessons.

In all these years, we have been looking for a way to make our daughter learn to ride because physical activities are part of our value system in our home. No, we never said “Can’t you see! your twin brother can ride easily bla bla! That stuff kills a child who would like to learn faster, it’s comparison even though parents

Well, we thought of how best we could teach her, and then boom her learning style was it. So we started to feed her ears first with the learnings on how to ride and not the actual ride itself. Then we got safety guards, …. And our big daughter decided to do the teaching job itself.

Using her dominant learning style instead of forcing and assuming she should just know…she learned how to ride her bike in 2days!!!

Do you know that understanding your child’s learning style might be the singular solution to her learning difficulties?

At The Intentional Parent Academy, we run a course where we just don’t teach parents how to identify the learning styles of their children, we also teach them how to use these learning styles to make their children study effectively and even discipline them correctly.
Have you registered to be part of the learning style course Yet?
To Course, simply click here:

https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/Learningstylecourse2024

To Register for the Learning Style Course, pay N10,500 to 0509494057 (GTB) The Intentional Parent Academy. Send proof to 09036633600.

Curious about our upcoming learning style course but unsure if it’s the right fit for your child’s academic success?

For a limited time, we’re offering something special: instant access to a free module of the learning style course.

How excited are you to dive in and explore?

Would you like to discover how to leverage your child’s unique learning style to enhance their learning experience? If so, don’t miss out on our incredible offer: a complimentary taster module from the ‘Understanding Your Child’s Learning Style’ course!

This module is designed to provide insights into your child’s learning process.

Seize this rare opportunity to peek into our transformative Learning Style course, which has already benefited thousands of parents worldwide since 2018. Now, you can experience it for free! But act quickly, as this offer is only available for a limited time.

Sign up now and embark on your journey to understanding your child’s learning style today! You won’t regret it.

Gain Access https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/Learningstylecoursefreemodule

Many children lose their natural curiosity as they progress through school. This is often due to traditional learning methods that can be dry and unengaging. But what if learning could be fun and exciting? In this blog post, we’ll explore ways to create a love of learning in your child.

Teaching is more than just cramming facts into young minds. It’s about igniting the spark of curiosity, a flame that fuels a lifelong love of learning. As parents and educators, we hold the key to unlocking this potential. We aren’t just shaping minds that can pass exams; we’re nurturing explorers equipped to navigate the vast landscapes of knowledge.

One fundamental issue is that many children—and even adults—don’t know how to learn effectively. Passing exams doesn’t necessarily equate to true learning.

Let’s Delve into some key aspects that hinder effective learning:

1. Lack of Engagement:
Learning methods often fail to capture a child’s interest. For instance, subjects like mathematics are sometimes taught without engaging students, leading to a lack of enthusiasm for learning. Concepts remain abstract when they cannot be connected to real-life experiences. As the first learning environment, the home plays a crucial role. Unfortunately, not all homes provide an engaging atmosphere for learning.

2. Work Overload: Regarding work overload, the belief that rescheduling activities will improve performance overlooks the need for a conducive learning environment. Instead of piling on more lessons, focus on creating an environment where genuine learning can take place. Overloading the brain can lead to information regurgitation rather than true comprehension. Scientifically, an overloaded brain tends to shut down.

3. Fear of failure: The pressure to perform and an overemphasis on grades can prevent a child from taking risks and learning from mistakes, ultimately hindering true learning.

4. Constant comparison with peers can undermine a child’s confidence and motivation to learn. When a child is pressured, they may fail to grasp the significance of failure and its role in achieving success.

How can Children Learn?

Teaching children how to learn before they begin formal education is crucial. This lays a foundation for a lifetime of academic success. Academic achievement is merely a byproduct of learning; therefore, cultivating learning skills is paramount in their educational journey. If a child is not equipped with the ability to learn, they will encounter challenges throughout their lives.

1. Metacognition, the ability to think about one’s thinking, is essential. It involves understanding one’s learning process, identifying strengths, monitoring progress, and reflecting on experiences. This process begins with self-awareness. Thus, completing homework on behalf of a child deprives them of the opportunity to engage in metacognitive thinking. Consider the numerous creatives who have flourished outside traditional educational structures; many of them found support for their learning within their home environments. When the brain lacks training in learning, acquiring knowledge becomes arduous.

2. Critical thinking : Critical thinking and questioning are essential skills to instill in your children. Encourage them to think critically and question information they encounter.

3. Effective note-taking: Effective note-taking is another crucial skill. Before becoming effective note-takers, children must learn to be active listeners. Note-taking is a part of active listening, and guiding children on how to summarize information clearly is essential. Teaching methods like mind mapping can aid in conceptualization. Notes serve as repositories of wisdom, captured on paper.

4. Time management: Time management is key. Help your children understand the importance of prioritization, identifying urgent tasks, creating schedules, and planning. Providing structured systems for organizations is crucial, as unpredictability can hinder productivity.

5.Adaptability and resilience: Adaptability and resilience are vital qualities for success. Success, such as passing medical school, relies more on adaptability and resilience than sheer intelligence. Shielding children from failure deprives them of valuable learning experiences. Emphasize the value of embracing challenges, learning from setbacks, and adapting to change.

6. Communication and Collaboration Skills: Communication and collaboration skills are also essential. Teach children how to work in groups, share ideas, communicate effectively, and respect others’ viewpoints. These skills are often not taught in school but are crucial for success in various endeavors.

7. Encourage a joy for learning in your children. Learning should be viewed as a lifelong journey, and instilling self-reliance is crucial. Focus on self-improvement as a parent, as children often mirror their parents’ behavior,

IS YOUR CHILD STRUGGLING TO LEARN?

Your child might be struggling because you don’t understand how he learns!
My daughter is a dominant auditory learner I will say 80%. This makes her verbal and auditory coordination so apt!

A few years ago, we got them bicycles to learn, in split seconds her twin brother who is a dominant Kinesthetic learner started to ride. So kinesthetic learners find physical activities very easy to come by. Our son learned to swim the same day the swim Coach started his lessons.

In all these years, we have been looking for a way to make our daughter learn to ride because physical activities are part of our value system in our home. No, we never said “Can’t you see! your twin brother can ride easily bla bla! That stuff kills a child who would like to learn faster, it’s comparison even though parents

Well, we thought of how best we could teach her, and then boom her learning style was it. So we started to feed her ears first with the learnings on how to ride and not the actual ride itself. Then we got safety guards, …. And our big daughter decided to do the teaching job itself.

Using her dominant learning style instead of forcing and assuming she should just know…she learned how to ride her bike in 2days!!!

Do you know that understanding your child’s learning style might be the singular solution to her learning difficulties?

At The Intentional Parent Academy, we run a course where we just don’t teach parents how to identify the learning styles of their children, we also teach them how to use these learning styles to make their children study effectively and even discipline them correctly.
Have you registered to be part of the learning style course Yet?
To join the Learning Style Course, simply click the link below:

https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/Learningstylecourse2024

Or pay #10,500 to 0509494057 (GTB). The Intentional Parent Academy. Send proof to 09036633600