This concept of raising the independent thinking child is one that is very dear to me, I have been sharing my thoughts around raising the independent thinking child for the past two years. In my research I found that the reason children are being molested can be traced to the fact that they were not taught to think.

The lack of independent thinking skills is the reason we are increasingly having 30-year-olds still under their parent’s roofs, this is still happening because we have children who are being spoon-fed. Today we are not just raising children who are not able to think, we are also raising children who are entitled and irresponsible.

In my upcoming book “Raising the independent thinking child “ I wrote about 20 tools that you need to raise an independent thinking children and 17 skills that your children will need to build to become independent thinkers.

You can Preorder Your Copy Here to enjoy preorder benefits.

Raising an independent-thinking child in this time and age is no longer negotiable. It has become an essential life skill that children need as they grow older and interact with the changing world around them.Independent thinking starts the day you give birth to your child. A child\’s formative years play a vital role in shaping them to become independent-thinkers.

In today\’s blog post, I\’ll point out reasons why parents need to raise independent thinking children but before we go into that, lets look at the downsides of raising children who can\’t think independently.

1 . Advancement and Innovation. Children who are just followers are as a result of their lack of independent thinking skills. Innovation is as a result of independent thinking children not obedient thinking children. Most parents think that raising obedient children is the goal because of our understanding of obedience, When you raise kids who are not independent thinkers, they just follow instructions without having a mind of their own.

2 .The School Does Not Build Independent Thinkers: Because the school follows the teach to test method where emphasis is laid on failure and success, they do not necessarily raise independent thinkers as result of this the responsibility now falls on you as a parent to raise independent thinking childre . When we don’t teach our children to be independent thinkers , they take on the herd mentality, i.e: following the crowd.

3 .Children who lack Confidence and Are Afraid of Leading: Children who lack independent thinking skills prefer to be submissive and this leads to being afraid of making mistakes because they\’ve been taught that mistakes are wrong but on the contrary mistakes are great tools for raising an independent thinker.

5 .They Get Stuck In Bad Relationships: When I hear of people who are stuck in abusive relationships and can\’t leave such relationships , I always trace it back to the lack of independent thinking skills. Without independent thinking skills, people do not know how to make tough decisions to save themselves. Life can be tough, you need to be able to remove yourself from the toughest of issues.

Having seen the downsides, let\’s take a look at why it is important to bring up a child with independent-thinking skills.

1 . They Make The Right Life Choices: Children who are raised to be independent thinkers make the right life choices like the choice of a spouse .

2 .They Don’t Worry About Fitting In :
Independent thinkers stand out, infact you can easily pick them out from a crowd. Independent thinkers do not look for ways to fit into a crowd or be part of a herd. When you raise an independent thinker, the child understands who they are and do not need validation to live for themselves.

3 . Independent Thinkers Learn Empathy: Most people who can think for themselves know and understand that life isn\’t about control but being able to accommodate everyother person.

4 .Independent Thinkers Are More Trustworthy: Independent thinkers are more trustworthy. People can comfortably partner with them in business or invest in their business because they have been able to build a trust system.

5. Independent Thinkers Live a value-based lifestyle: Independent thinkers are driven by values, When the foundation of your home is built on a strong value system, you replace rules with values because rules are obeyed while values are internalised.

6. They do not live to please people or say yes when they need to say no: An independent thinking child isn\’t afraid to say no to anyone at the appropriate time even to their parents. The first thing you need to teach your child is how to say no to you because if they can\’t do so at home, they can\’t say no to an outsider. The inability to say no is why children are abused and unable to report. This implies that your child doesn\’t trust you and it\’s a big problem. I keep saying that authority is trust and respect, authority isn\’t force and control. The moment you lose trust and respect, you have lost control. You must accept NO as a part of your process in your parenting journey.

7 .Independent Thinkers Have The Ability to Seek Help : Independent thinkers can seek help, to learn what they do not know. When you raise independent thinkers, they easily go out of their way to find knowledge and learn more.

9 .They Are Never Stuck In Any Inappropriate Situation. They know how to analyze the situation and figure out an escape route. They are not fear-stricken when they find themselves in difficult situations.

10 .They become leaders. Becoming leaders doesn\’t necessarily mean being the president, governor, etc. but they\’ll possess the ability to lead people in small spheres because they think differently.

As parents, it is expected that we love our children, YES! but most times you find that loving your difficult child isn\’t as easy as loving the child who isn\’t difficult. If you are dealing with what I call a child that is difficult to love, you will understand better.

For different parents, having a difficult child or a strong-willed child can mean different things. It could be that this child frustrates you, disagrees with everything, constantly argues with you, challenges everything you do or say, throws tantrums, is hypersensitive and whines or cries all the time, a teenager who is suddenly moody, disrespectful, and overcritical or even a child who has health challenges. Having a difficult child can frustrate you and make you question your parenting skills.

One of the things I have learned in the past about raising a strong will child is that this child is unique and you need to understand what is making them difficult, that is the first question you want to ask. Whatever difficulties you experience with your child that have brought you to the point of being frustrated or not being able to love your child as you ought to, you must know that the best approach for you as a parent is to be committed to long-term learning.

So what do you do? How do you raise a difficult/ strong-willed child?

1 . Learn The Story Of Your Difficult Child: The first and most important thing to do is to understand who your child is. Knowing the child\’s learning style, temperament, and how the child wants to be loved and shown affection will enable you to know how to approach the issues you are having. While learning the story of your child, you also need to learn why they are who they are.

2 . Self-assessment: You need to look beyond the behavior of your child and do a self-assessment of who that child is. Self-assessment is looking beyond the behavior of that child and seeking to understand why they are who they are, is this behavior common? Is it common for this kind of person? By understanding the child\’s temperament, you\’ll get to know how it affects what they do. For instance, a sanguine cannot easily focus and put things into perspective. A choleric who does not learn how to navigate their journey ends up being bossy.

3 . Conduct Research : You need to research on the information you now know about your child, doing this research put you in a place to do better. According to Maya Angelou, an American writer, and poet,\” when you know better, you do better.”

When your child becomes a teen and becomes difficult, you have to do courses on the brain to know what goes on in the brain of a teenager. The puberty brain doesn\’t develop the same way a toddler\’s brain develops. There are lots of influences on the brain and they come majorly because of hormones. At puberty, the inducement of hormones causes laziness and they\’d want to sleep more and not do anything. However, if you don\’t comprehend this, you\’ll keep clashing with your child. For instance, when you have researched your strong-willed child, you will understand that they thrive through choices. Strong-willed children are wired for experiments and are not wired to follow.

Doing research, and learning about the area of your struggle is one of the best things that can happen to you.

4 . Make a plan: Having known your child\’s story, done a self-assessment, and researched your strong-willed child, the next step is to make a well-structured plan. The style to implement when teaching and disciplining the child. Do not concentrate on learning how to raise the child the way you are used to but how to deal with what they struggle with and not the things they don\’t struggle with.

5 . Manage your emotions : We just concluded the \’Master your Emotions’ challenge and it was mind-blowing. Emotional control helps you get your calm to analyze the situation at hand. It helps you to be proactive and not reactive.

Having known ways to parent a difficult child, how do you love your difficult child?

One of the possible reasons why the child is misbehaving or being difficult might be that he doesn\’t feel loved or lacks affection.

Sometimes, we say that we love our children but they don\’t see or feel that we do. So you need to figure out your child\’s;

1 . Love language : Understanding each child\’s love language is paramount. Some children are touchy feelers and when they don\’t get physical affection, they believe that you don\’t love them. Create a structure that entails giving and receiving affection that comes up on daily basis in your home. Also, figure out your child\’s apology language.

2 . Do not take the misbehavior personally: Learn to separate the child\’s behavior from the child\’s. Tackle the misconduct and not your child.

3 . Watch your attitude : You need to be conscious of your attitude whenever your child seems difficult. They take and demand so much from you and it\’s easy to develop resentment towards the child that\’s difficult. Guide your thoughts by getting a system that can hold you accountable.

4 . Intentionally make out extra time : Parenting a strong-willed child requires time, energy, and patience. I always love to tell parents that time is the currency of destiny. A misbehaving child needs to love the most. When a child is being difficult, he is equally going through some difficulties or struggling with some things.

5 . Endeavor to encourage and not judge: Do not say that there is nothing good about the difficult child. Look beyond the behavior because negatives are easier to see. Implement the use of a character chart to record the good things you see. It will help you put things into perspective and see that this child isn\’t an embodiment of negativity. Shower the child with words of encouragement and affirmations.

Parenting isn\’t a walk in the park. It comes with a lot of challenges. When you meet some of the challenges, what you need to do is to take courses and educate yourself on that particular challenge. Do not try to give up because it is not an option.

This is a good time to talk about the Inner circle program in the TIP Academy. In the Inner Circle, You will get to meet and interact with parents that have gone through what you are going through thereby giving you the support, structure, and accountability you need on your parenting journey. Click to book a slot for the 2023 cohort here https://selar.co/tipinnercircle

You can also chat with the team on
0812 968 7040 to join the 2023 cohort

Have you preordered my latest books

RAISING INDEPENDENT THINKING CHILD

SEX EDUCATE LIKE A PRO (Volume 2) volume 1 was everything 🤩🔥

HOW TO LOVE YOUR CHILD MORE

Do you know that preordering these 3 books together will give you accces to many bonuses?

Which will include ;

Saving 5,500 on discount on all the books

•Free copy of Workbook of How to love your child more worth 5,000

•Access to the Love your child more challenge worth N20,000

•3 Masterclassess worth 60,000

•A webinar worth 25,000

So you get a Total of N115,500 FREE just by preordering the three books .

Note: This offer is only for the first 1,000 preorders , we already hitting the mark already..

Whenever we tell parents that their 18 month old or less than 18 month old toddlers have no business watching the screen, there is always a fight to it, I shared this in our TIP Facebook group recently and it created so much buzz with tons  parents leaving comments like “Do what works for you “, “it’s working in my home”, “screen makes my children really smart” etc.

The first time I shared that children do not learn the skills they need to thrive in the 21st century on screen, the counter reactions were epic.

I am excited because, in today’s blog post, we\’ll be bringing an end to the argument on “Screentime, Addiction, How much is too much, and how much should children older than 18 months be exposed to?

Patricia Kuhl; one of the world’s leading brain scientists runs experiments with more than 4,000 babies each year and she records that; “What we’ve discovered is that little babies, under a year old, do not learn from machines, even if you show them captivating videos, the difference in learning is extraordinary. You get genius learning from a live human being, and you get zero learning from a machine.”

Now, this is what happens, it may appear that the child is learning from the screen but it\’s all an illusion and will eventually affect this child in the future in many ways. Are there positive effects of children under the age of 2 or 3 being on screen? Maybe there are but the negative effects far outweigh the positive. Many times, when parents are busy they use screens as babysitters but don\’t realize that babies can learn to entertain themselves and adopt that as a way to entertain themselves.

So how much is too much?

The American Academy of Pediatrics discourages media use, screen ( laptops, phones, tablets, T.V cartoons e.g. coco melon, Jim Jam, Ben 10, etc. ) by children younger than 2 and recommends limiting older children\’s screen time to no more than one or two hours a day. When your child is above 2 years then you can do structured screen time. It can be 1 hour per day till the child gets to the age of 6 then you can be adjusting. Pertaining to screen time, you must go through what has been recommended in the table below.

A study by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) in 2018 indicates that older children who spent more than two hours a day on screen-time activities scored lower on language and thinking tests, and some children with more than seven hours a day of screen time experienced thinning of the brain’s cortex, the area of the brain related to critical thinking and reasoning.

What are the risks associated with screen time without regulation?

1 . Short Attention Span :

Screens hijack attention spans. For children to be successful, they need to learn how to concentrate and focus. That ability starts to develop during their earliest years when their brains are more sensitive to the environments around them. For a brain to develop and grow, it needs essential stimuli from the outside world. More importantly, they need time to process those stimuli. While reading storybooks out loud gives children time to process words, images, and voices, the constant absorption of on-screen images and messages affects their attention span and focus.

2 .Lack of critical thinking and problem-solving skills :

When you rely on using screens to distract a child from a problem rather than having them figure it out and learn to resolve it themselves, you kill their ability to think and solve a problem on their own. Most times parents use screens to pacify their children..like using a favorite song to distract a young child who has just fallen and scraped their knee; this might look okay but having the parent comfort and cuddle with the child and talk to them is better. This can also make the brain less empathic because there is no human connection in the process of feelings.

Using screen time to distract young children who are having trouble sharing a toy will not help them learn how to share and take turns in the future, although it may be a quick fix in the short term.

3 . Lack of empathy
Research has shown that screen time inhibits young children’s ability to read faces and learn social skills, two key factors needed to develop empathy. Face-to-face interactions are the only way young children learn to understand non-verbal cues and interpret them. “Until babies develop language,” says Charles Nelson, a Harvard neuroscientist who studies the impact of neglect on children’s brains, “all communication is non-verbal, so they depend heavily on looking at a face and deriving meaning from that face. Is this person happy with me, or are they upset at me?” That two-way interaction between children and adult caregivers is critically important for brain development.

Exposure to screens reduces babies’ ability to read human emotions and control their frustration. It also detracts from activities that help boost their brain power, like playing and interacting with other children.

4 . Irregular Sleep : The more time spent watching on a screen, the more likely children are to have trouble falling asleep or have an irregular sleep schedule. Sleep loss can lead to fatigue and increased snacking.

As humans, our circadian rhythms and our production of melatonin — the sleep hormone — kicks in when the sun sets. But the blue light from screens inhibits melatonin, which can delay sleep. And watching TV or playing video games also keeps our brains and bodies more alert and activated and less ready for sleep. (Tablets and smartphones will suppress the melatonin more than TVs because the screen, and that blue light, is closer to the face.) According to one study, infants 6 to 12 months old who were exposed to screens in the evening showed significantly shorter nighttime sleep than those who had no evening screen exposure.

5 . Behavioural issues

Children over 18 months who spend more than two hours a day watching TV, playing video games, or using a computer or smartphone are more likely to have emotional, social, and attention problems. Also, exposure to video games is linked with an increased possibility of attention problems in children.

•Possible Autism (recent studies have proof of early screen time / excessive screen causing autism…)

6 . Voilence :
Too much exposure to violence through media can desensitize children to violence. As a result, children might learn to accept violent behavior as a normal way to solve problems.

7 . Less time for play :
Excessive screen time leaves less time for active, creative play. And play is what brings about creativity. Also higher rates of suicide has being linked to insufficient play. Children are spending more time in sedentary activity by using screens and less time in creative, active play that their bodies NEED to thrive and develop.

8 . Delayed Speech :
Research shows that talking with children in a reciprocal dialogue is extremely important for language development and social interaction. It’s that back-and-forth “conversation,” sharing facial expressions and reacting to the other person — in real life, rather than “passive” listening or one-way interaction with a screen — that improves language and communication skills in young children.

9 . Lack of real learning :
Studies have shown that children under 2 learn less from a video than when learning from another person, and it appears that although children will watch the TV screen by 6 months, understanding the content does not generally occur until after age 2. It’s not that they won’t be captivated by what’s on the screen, but they’re not learning from it.

10 . Poor Language development:
This expands rapidly between 1½ to 3 years of age, and studies have shown that children learn language best when engaging and interacting with adults who are talking and playing with them. There is also some evidence that children who watch a lot of television during the early elementary school years perform less well on reading tests and may show deficits in attention.

11 . Obesity:
The more TV and video your child watches, the greater his or her risk is of becoming overweight. Having a TV or other electronics in a child\’s bedroom increases this risk as well. Children can also develop an appetite for junk food promoted in ads, as well as overeat while watching on electronics.

Parenting abhors vacuum. There\’s what we call replacement and that\’s what we do in TIP Academy. So when you take away the screen, you have to find what to replace it with. It\’s not about buying books and puzzles but it\’s all about what you do with them. It won\’t be a smooth sail when you take away the screen but the positive results you\’ll get will be rewarding.

JOIN THE WAITLIST FOR THE INNER CIRCLE HERE

One of the things I did in my new book, \”Raising the independent thinking child” is to outline solutions on how parents can take away screen and create healthy alternatives for screen addiction. This blog post was also an excerpt from my upcoming book “Raising The Independent thinking child”.

PRE-ORDER is Finally Here

We opened preorder links only about 1hour ago and we currently have over 50 copies already paid for. If you have read my works, you will know that you are up for another parenting mind shift. We have some perks for the first 500 parents who get to preorder.

We will be giving them the LOVE YOUR CHILD MORE Workbook FREE worth #5,000

Access to a MasterClass on “Raising An Independent thinking Child” worth #20,000

As soon as we hit 500 orders, we will take away these bonuses. I am sure we Will be 50% gone in 24 hours because only parents in the academy are enough to buy the first 2,000 copies. PREORDER NOW, to get all the perks attached.

Preorder HERE :
http://bit.ly/TIPBooksPreorder

This blogpost is dedicated to celebrating the “International Day Of The Girl – Child” which held on the 11th of October 2022.In this blog post I will be on the secrets of raising the girl child that thrives. I have heard a number of people share on raising girls that thrive and one thing I take away from those sessions is that there is a faulty line in the way we are raising girls and the way we know to raise girls.

Raising a girl child that thrives takes a lot of intentionality which is important. When you look at the society and some of the decisions women/girls make, you can find that they boil down to how we were raised and programmed. When we understand the impacts on the girl child then we to begin to see things differently.

So what are the ways to raise a girl child that thrives?

There are many secrets to raising girls that thrive but in this blogpost you will get the tips and hacks but I promise it\’s going to be insightful and will also wet your appetite to seek for more knowledge.

1 . Praise her imperfections: There are lots of conversations and stories out there that say it\’s okay to praise how your girl child is performing, guide the child to find purpose and praise the things she does well, while I agree with such statements, there\’s actually much more.
You\’ll be surprised to learn that letting your daughter mess up is actually one of the best ways to build her confidence. There\’s this theory that girls are groomed to become perfectionist by being praised for the \”good girl behaviour” so she quickly learns that making mistakes means that she is not good enough. Looking at it critically, you\’ll see that one of the greatest battle of a girl child is SELF ESTEEM, this is because we raise the girl child with perfection in mind. Research has found that it is in the process of taking risks and messing up that confidence is built. We are always quick to jump in and do things for our children because we are so desperate for them to succeed. I teach parents to show their daughters that mistakes are part of life and one of the ways to do this is by teaching them. Start by letting your daughter know that you are not a perfect mother. The process of learning through trial and error is one of the things that build confidence.

2 . Build her emotional capacity, especially her social intelligent quotient: Conflict is inevitable, in fact it is said that conflict starts at the age of 2 and half. Girls usually show a lot of emotions so parents mistakenly believe that girls manage their emotions better which isn\’t true. Unfortunately, we teach girls very early to take care of other people’s emotions first. If you want to train a girl child that thrives, you need to teach her to own her emotions herself. When you put the burden of considering the emotions of others before hers, she will have the messiah mentality where she will think that for her to be happy, she needs to meet the demands of other people and will likely end up marrying the wrong person.

Another way is to build emotional capacity is to create opportunities to help her build circles whether it\’s a sports team, girls scout, friends etc. When you make your daughter feel that she doesn\’t need friends, you are killing them emotionally. For your girl child to express independence, and be able to express pride, it has to come from her working in a team with a common goal. So one of your responsibilities as a parent is to help your daughter find her tribe. Belonging is a need for a girl child.

The third step to building her emotional capacity is to let your daughter know that you love her unconditionally. When you claim to love your child unconditionally, she should be able to have from you the answers to these questions:
a. What do you think about me?
b. Do you understand me?
c. What are your hopes for me?
She must off the top of her head, be able to say this is what my parents think about me.

3 .Girls That Thrive Have Fathers That Are Involved: Research has shown that girls who are very confident are the ones who had their fathers get involved in their process or had a strong male figure. I have been studying the backgrounds of women who are captains of industry when you read about their history you will find that they had fathers who were involved. Growing up one of the best things that happened to me was having an involved father. Research has also shown that you can\’t build a certain level of confidence in your girl child except there\’s a strong male figure because the things a girl looks for in a mother is different from what she looks for in a father. An involved fatherhood helps the child get a wholesome template.

4 . Teach Your girl Child The Value of Real Beauty: It\’s quite saddening that the society puts a lot of value on outer beauty so instead of telling your child that they have a beautiful smile, look inward and praise something about them like the fact that they make people laugh. When you begin to teach your girls to understand the value of real beauty, true beauty, inner beauty, who they are, you teach your child to appreciate who they truly are.

My daughter had an interesting ordeal during her first term in secondary school, a girl walked up to her and told her that all the boys in school wanted to talk to her because she was beautiful and hot then my daughter responded by telling her that it was because she kept herself in a certain way that was why boys were flocking around her. This intereaction between my daughter and the girl in her school shows how we are raising our girl child with a lot of emphasis on how they look. Teach your daughter that the bargaining chip is beauty in the head and not beauty in the outward.

FATHERS CHANGING THE PARENTING GAME!

What is it for me in the INNER CIRCLE PROGRAM?

Parenting today has gone beyond, intuition, experience, and opinion, it\’s now about evidence. Knowing with exactitude the outcome of your journey. And that is what we provide at the academy.

Parenting is about the process, not just Tips and Hacks!!

When you want to build a shanty. You don\’t need any plan or a strategy… You just show up and start

But if you want to build a Mansion, you would not only need plans and strategies you would need professionals to help you.

The Inner Circle is an Annual Parenting program of The Intentional Parent Academy.

1. Do you desire to change your parenting game?
2. Do you want to build a strong value system and form a foundation so strong to destroy?
3. Do you want to understand why your children act the way they do and help them become better?

Just imagine these 👇

1. Imagine building a parenting plan and following through in the year with an accountability system provided?
2. Imagine being able to connect with your children even though you have limited time using a daily connection calendar specifically built to address your needs?
3. Imagine keeping a record of your parenting journey in a journal (specifically made for you ) with your goals, challenges, and wins?
4. Imagine having direct access to Coach Wendy Ologe throughout the year; Access to a coach worth over #1M $2,000
5. Imagine having access to webinars worth #100,000 ($200) every month.
6. Imagine being able to read one Parenting Book every month with corresponding teachings and breaking down what you read by a professional? Worth over #100,000 ($200) every month?
7. Imagine having a 15% -50% Discount on all our courses, products, and services for the whole of 2023 worth over #100,000 ($200)
8. Imagine having someone who has been exactly where you are, holding your hand as you smash your parenting goals? This can\’t be quantified with money.
9. Imagine being accountable to a system that does not only ensure you learn but ensures you DO and have results?
10. Imagine connecting with other parents and learning from their journey?
11. Imagine discovering who you are in the real sense of it within 365 days and becoming more?

You don\’t want to keep imagining .

These and many more are the benefits of being in the Inner circle.

We worked with over 1,000 parents in 2022 and we currently have over 1,500 New parents enrolled for 2023.

THESE PARENTS SAY THAT THE ACADEMY IS THE EXPECTATION!

Send us a chat today with the team:
0812 968 7040 to join the 2023 cohort

When we talk about being an emotionally intelligent parent, it is all about raising children who can manage their emotions better. 

We must look at some factors and one of them is- what A parent does! 

I have said several times that who you are is a function of who raised you is an advantage. Some people are at disadvantage because of who raised them.

Before we look at things that emotionally intelligent parents don’t do, let’s look at the advantages of raising emotionally intelligent child.

1. More ready to engage: An emotionally intelligent child is ever ready to engage in school activities. He/she is ready to confront whatever situation he finds himself. The child gets involved in things they do and in general.

2. More socially successful: I\’ve seen quite a number of parents raise kids that can navigate the social world. There\’s a study that says that children who can navigate their social world in the next 30 years, will have an 80% advantage over their peers.

3. They have impulse control: What we’ll be looking at this month in TIP Academy is \” Executive Functioning Skills” and this week, we will be dealing with Impulse Control. What many parents do not understand is that impulse control is one of the reasons why children misbehave. A lot of kids can\’t control their impulses because they don\’t know what else to do. When you raise a child who understands emotional intelligence, you\’ll find out that the child can control those impulses. If you don\’t teach the child how to do so, he’ll continue to do things anyhow.

Emotionally intelligent children are a product of emotionally intelligent parents. Emotional intelligence skills don\’t naturally come upon you but through the knowledge and skills you acquire. By skills, I mean doing certain things that make your child feel safe enough to express their emotions. When a parent is emotionally intelligent, it\’s automatically transferred to the children. Join the Waitlist for the Inner Circle program HERE

Now, there are lots of advantages of emotionally intelligent children but I’ll pause here because it\’s not our focus for today.

Okay! Here are 5 things emotionally intelligent parents don\’t do…

1. They don\’t bail their children out of difficult situations. The reason, why you have a problem when your child is going through consequences is that you don\’t have emotional intelligence skills. Many times, you hear parents say, \” I don\’t want my child to suffer”, \”I don\’t want my child to get angry\”, or \”I don\’t want my child to get upset”. Sometimes, it can be jumping in to pacify a child that\’s crying. When you do or say these things, you don\’t allow the child to go through different situations like disappointment, anger, failure, agitation, and sadness. You deny them the opportunity to deal with these emotions. For instance, your child fails his exams and is expected to repeat the class. You come home and beat the child because according to you, he didn\’t do well. Then you meet with the school authority to beg them to allow your child to move to the next class because you don\’t want him to experience failure.
   It can also be that your child isn\’t doing well in school, and you flog him whenever you are helping out with his assignments but when it\’s time to pay for illegal ways like paying for a mercenary to write external exams for him, you\’ll gladly do so. You are raising a hypocrite, idiot, and someone that can\’t think. I might be coming too hard on you today but trust me you need to hear this.
   Studies have shown that children who are exposed to tough situations, and conflicts and how to manage them are more emotionally intelligent.

When a child faces difficult situations, he gains the tools to deal with the situations, however, there\’s a caveat- it can only happen if the parents are emotionally intelligent. For eg, we teach failure as a tool in the Inner Circle Academy. Your child needs to learn how to fail and how to manage failure. But parents who don\’t understand shout \”God forbid! \”my child is the head and not the tail.”, \”I reject it” etc. Parenting is in the mess! Failure is part of the process of raising a child who will be well-rounded, however, what we call failure isn\’t necessarily a failure. True failure is when you can\’t use that failure as a tool to succeed. Failure is a tool in parenting and mistakes are proofs that your child is learning.

1. They do not shut down their children’s emotions. Often, parents ask their kids, \”why are you crying?” or \”why are you angry? I\’m the one having a hard time here!! When you ask such questions, you shut down the child\’s emotions. You make them understand that they don\’t have the right to feel certain ways. Every single emotion is valid. Studies have shown that adults who had suppressed emotions when they were young have issues building positive relationships and that\’s why you find that we have trust issues in relating with people.
2. They don\’t stop working on their emotions. I have constantly gone through emotional training in the past 10 years because I understand that it\’s a journey and not a destination. When you don\’t subject yourself to the journey, you\’ll have issues. Your emotions are your responsibility to handle. Parenting is an emotional journey because we are constantly battling with different emotions.
3. They don\’t hide their emotions. I see several parents feel disappointed and won\’t share with their children that they are and if the child asks, they\’ll be like, \”I\’m fine” while they are not.

You can\’t name your emotions because you don\’t even know what you feel at the moment. What happens is that the child learns to mask their emotions and become hypocritical. They won\’t be able to define what they feel at times. When you say I\’m okay or I\’m fine, you are being hypocritical because you think that you ought to be perfect. You don\’t need PERFECTION but TRAINING. When you make mistakes, don\’t mask them because you have bought into an infallibility narrative. The infallibility narrative in parenting is a false narrative and it will mess up your journey.
When you become vulnerable in your parenting journey, you don\’t lose credibility rather you gain trust and trust is the biggest currency in your journey. Without trust, whatever you do is balderdash. Putting up a facade of perfection, hiding your emotions, and hiding failures are not good examples but show that you have no emotional intelligence. Your children need to see you make mistakes and admit them and by so doing, you teach them to take responsibility for their actions.

1. They are not reactive to situations but proactive. The parent thinks about the process and then takes him/herself out of the process of helping the child. When a child fails, an emotionally intelligent parent uses the tools to help the child become better by using that same failure but the child of a not emotionally intelligent parent struggles.

In your journey as a parent, you need to understand that you are the most important pace. Parenting is about you and not your child. You need to connect to correct and you do that by working on your emotions. Also, teach them that the world doesn\’t revolve around them. Teach them how to deal with and how survive situations like bullying. Let them know how to survive the woes of the world so that they won\’t be fazed.

Raise them to be resilient and the best way for you to do that is to LEARN. It is compulsory to learn to parent. Wisdom is profitable. You can get information from anywhere but not wisdom because it is hidden. What your children are interested in is WISDOM and not rhetoric or advice.
They need the wisdom to know what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. Your child won\’t come to you when they are in trouble because you love them but because you have solution/wisdom.

Have you registered for the Master Your Emotions Challenge? it kicks off in 2 days.Would you like to join 550+ participants who have registered for this Challenge?

With our upcoming \”MASTER YOUR EMOTIONS CHALLENGE\”, you\’ll learn practical, simple solutions, tools, strategies, guides & motivation to replace aggression and reactivity in your parenting with calm, peace & thinking. Whether you have one child or twenty (or one you still yell at who is twenty), strengthen your relationships and maybe even laugh a little more by taking this CHALLENGE today.

To register for the Master Your Emotions Challenge, pay #5,000 instead of #10,000 to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040. You can register online : https://selar.co/MYEchallenge

A lot of times, I hear parents say, \”my kids are driving me crazy!” but the question I ask is, \”Are your kids driving your crazy, or are you driving yourself crazy?”

In today\’s blog post I will be sharing with you what you can do if and when they drive you crazy. Parenting is a very rigorous and tedious job, at everytime there are emotions that flood our parenting journey, this is why I insist that if you are not working on your emotions you might be getting it all wrong.

The most important job of being a parent is staying encouraged because no matter how you want to look at it you will be discouraged from time to time. One of the greatest tools in parenting is to stay encouraged, this is why I say that being in a parenting academy is no longer negotiable.Join the Intentional Parent Academy Inner Circle here

What happens whenever you say that your children are driving you crazy is that:

1 . You Lack Knowledge On What To Do:
Not having any idea of how to handle your children can make you feel like they are driving you crazy and this lack of knowledge transmits to fear.

2 . You are afraid: You say those words when you are at your wit\’s end.

3 . You are discouraged: When you feel that you have done all you know but nothing is happening. One of the most important tools you need as a parent is to stay encouraged. You need a support system because when you become discouraged, you hate being a parent and it\’s a terrible place to be!

4 . You are disappointed :When it comes to parenting, it is not the steps you take that matter but the skills you acquire. You can quit your job to be present and connect but no magic will happen if you are present without skills and tools.The problem in parenting is not just connectivity and presence ,the problem is being present with tools and skills. A parent who is present with skills and tools will trump a parent who is present without skills and tools.

5. No encouragement. Kids are like arrows in the hands of parents and what we don\’t understand about the archery is that it requires that you aim, stay focused and shoot. This can also be said in parenting , it requires for you to have the skill to aim, focus, and shoot. The secrets to effective parenting are 1. Direction 2. Focus 3. Skills 4. Mindfulness

▪️ Direction: If you don\’t have direction, you\’ll end up going around in circles. Being led will get you to a place than without being led.

▪️ Focus: When parenting, the world pulls you from different sides and at same time judges you. You need a good support system that will help you remain focused and encouraged and that\’s what TIP Academy offers.

▪️ Skills: The truth is you can\’t give what you don\’t have. Over the weekend there was this buzz about T.D Jakes passing on the baton to his daughter because he had the blessings and passed it on to his daughter. The question for you to ask is, \”What skills do I have so that when I position myself well, I can aim and shoot so as to hit the bull’s eyes?”

▪️ Mindfulness: I always tell the parents in our inner circle program that an intentional parent is a thinking parent. In being mindful you think through the decisions that you are willing to make.

So at this point, you need to know the reasons WHY YOU FEEL THE WAY YOU DO, and here are some of the points that get you to that place:

1 . Lack of structure: Many of you parent without any structure, in our nigerian parlance I will equate this as \”doing things anyhow\” and this is what causes overwhelm, over scheduling , underscheduling and all of the pressure that you face. If you don\’t commit to a success you will continue to remain overwhelmed so your parenting needs a system to be effective.

2 . Parenting on probability : When you parent with probability you don\’t know with exactitude the outcome of your parenting. When you parent, it should be intentional and not on probability.

Signs to show that you are parentinv on probability :

1. Frustration
2. Complaints
3. Discouragement
4. Being afraid
5. Blowing things out of proportion
6. Resenting your kids(things they do annoy you)
7. Power struggle with them
8. Not saying NO when necessary, and feeling guilty for your decisions.

3 . No control of emotions: Emotions control is the bedrock of planning. I will give a little explanation of what happens to our brains- when you are stressed to the maximum and about to lose it and you have no emotional control, your prefrontal cortex ( part of the brain that does what we call higher function skills like logic, predicting the outcome of words and actions, impulse control, decision makings, focusing on attention, processing feelings of empathy, shame, etc.) gets flooded with stress hormone and the stress hormone puts you on a fight or flight mode. It happens to everyone but the ability to check it matters.

At this point, the nervous system has kicked in and you are no longer your normal self, and your body, being charged like that of a bear stops you from thinking in a sane manner. Emotion control helps you get into your calm. The difference between an emotional control parent and non emotional control parent is that the former deploys tools to use in order to process her calm.

So what do you do?

•Work on your emotions.
•Set up Routine, rituals, structure, and boundaries.
•Children thrive in predictability, security, safety, and freedom.

•Parent intentionally not on probability. Get knowledge about parenting. If parenting doesn\’t change you, then you are parenting wrongly.Intentional parenting changes you.
•Join a system that works. Enrol in a parenting academy for accountability and encouragement. TIP Academy offers such and much more. Join the waiting list for the Inner Circle program here

When it comes to parenting, I always tell parents that \”Assumption is the lowest form of knowledge.”

Thinking and believing that you need to mould your child into a \”perfect being” is the worst mistake you can make because there is no such thing as a perfect child. Believe when I tell you that there is no child that doesn\’t misbehave.

When your child misbehaves or acts out, there are reasons. It can be that they are:
•They are lost. They don\’t understand what\’s wrong with them.
•They are afraid and that\’s why your child lies, bickers, or becomes heady.
•They need guidance and because they don\’t know how to ask for it, they do it the way they know better.
•They seek attention. They need you to reassure them that you are with them.

Negative attention is better than no attention/connection.

Misbehaviour can push your parental buttons and you can only remain calm by applying the right skills and required knowledge. If you don\’t equip yourself with those required skills, you\’ll make a mess because a misbehaving child isn\’t a listening child.

A child who is defiant needs to connect with you and find their way back to calm, your child is not defiant because they are bad, your child is defiant because they are still learning and growing.

There are no bad children there are only parents who lack the required knowledge on how to help their children so if your child is struggling with behaviours it is because you don\’t know what to do.

If you have a child who is misbehaving, you need to realise that, that child is not the probleme, everytime I see a child who is struggling I see a parent who is ignorant.

One of the things you need to understand is that discipline is not an emergency, when you make it an emergency you make a mess and one of the ways you can practice discipline not being an emergency is to work on your emotions this is why you need to register for the master your emotions challenge here .

At this point someone will ask, \”Coach what do I need to do?

Here are some points.

1 . Apply the initial pause and calm. It is real work because you have to think, \”how do I respond to this?” The power of the initial nothing, is the road to calmer responses from you and that\’s where you get the emotionally responsible child. Your ability to master your emotions will be a determining factor for a lot of things for your child. While pausing you can ask questions like, “What guidance can I offer you at this point”, How can we both turn this moment around”

2. Believe that your child can do better.

There is something called “self fulfilling prophecies”, you need to be careful what you say in the phase of behaviours. Cursing your child out when they misbehave is a sign of lack of emotional control. When out of anger your say words to your child, do you know that they can become self fulfilling prophecies no matter your spiritual inclination.

Do you have faith enough that no matter how many mistakes your child makes that it is going to be worth it learning from your guidance , do you have faith that the skills you are acquiring is going to work?, do you believe your guidance will work even when difficulties show up? When children misbehave it\’s usually because they are stuck, when misbehaviors show up its usually because your child has no other way of letting you know that they are stuck, afraid, hurting and upset so at this point one of the things you should let your child know is that you believe that they can. In summary, you need to be kind, it really makes all the difference.

3 . Build skills in your child. An unskilled child will frustrate you. There are some essential life skills your child need and they are- Focus and self-control, Understanding another point of view or perspective taking, Communication, Taking on challenges, Critical thinking because when they make a mess, critical thinking takes place. Mistakes and mess are the pillars on which children who will be successful will be built. Mistakes prove that your child is thinking. If you want to learn more skills that your child would need to thrive in the 21st century then you need to join the inner circle program. Click here to join the waiting list for 2023 cohort here

4. Work on Your Emotions and Quit Reactivity:

The best way to work on your emotions at this moment is to join the master your emotions challenge. Want to walk this journey of mastering your emotions ?

Pay N5,000 instead of N10,000 to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040.

5. Make time for yourself :
One of the things you need to understand is that when you don\’t make time for yourself you will struggle because you are the base, you are the parent.

What are the things that increase misbehavior?

1. Inability to self-regulate: Many children cannot self regulate that\’s why misbehaviours are increasing instead of being worked on.
2. Stress
3. Lack of habits that last and skills that transform.
4. Wrong parenting styles.
5. Not understanding the child and developmental level.

6. Unpredictability. Your child needs to know what you are capable of doing at any given time. Children thrive on routine and structure.Unpredictability is the enemy of your parenting.

Recently someone I know shared with me how she was struggling with anger. She booked a one-on-one session so we can unravel where it was coming from; Stress, relationships, upbringing, etc.

As always it was childhood. She told me how their home was full of anger growing up. In her words

“I grew up in an anger-filled home, my mother was always angry about everything we did, My father was a saddist , he was always angry and shouting. We were never allowed to make mistakes. I realized that I get irritated anytime my children make mistakes; I am constantly reacting the same way I saw my parents would react.

When I see my children playing it irritates me because we were never taught to play but to be serious and be of our best behavior at all times. I used to think this made us better adults but after I became a parent and reading your books, I realized it made more mess than I can imagine.

I am seeing myself creating the same kind of home I was raised in, and I hated it and still hate yet I can’t help it, that’s all I know coach, I know I need help “.

A young man shared how he learned his emotions management skills as a Child in a video I shared yesterday.

In his words “I saw you my mother and my father responding the same way when you are angry”.

The interesting part of this conversation was that this parent was shocked! Her response was

“But what you are describing happened 20 years ago, you were only 9 years”.

This showed me how much many parents don’t understand why childhood is critical to human beings.

Building our subconscious happens in childhood, and proven researches in psychology say that about 90% of what we do come from our subconscious.

The subconscious is formed between 1-7years of childhood.

Does that mean anything to you?

Many of us enter our parenting relationship wounded from our childhood and many times these experiences make a mess of who we became and that is what we eventually project on our children.

One of the biggest factors is our emotions, mastering our emotions and learning to overcome these wounds must be an intentional walk.

At our Upcoming challenge \”Master your Emotions \” online course at the academy we lead you to start walking of healing of these experiences.

The early bird fee is 5,000 till 29th September instead of 10,000 ….You can take this class from anywhere in the world. We have over 350 parents already registered for this challenge.

Pay N5,000 instead of N10,000 to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040.
You can register online here: https://selar.co/MYEchallenge

Are you willing to unlearn this on your parenting journey?

Parenting experience at the core of its success is your ability to manage your emotions. Some parents think that staying calm in the face of misconduct is easier said than done because they find it difficult to implement the information they have on parenting when faced with issues.
Parenting is an emotional journey/experience so being emotionally calm doesn\’t translate to you becoming calm when the child is doing what he ought not to do.

The human brain has logical part and emotional parts. The logical part of the brain helps you stay sane while the emotional part stirs up reactivity such as yelling screaming, and hitting.

In the face of chaos, reacting the same way as your child doesn\’t help because you have allowed the emotional part of your brain to take control and you end up not handling the situation the right way. Dealing with your emotions requires proactivity and not reactivity. In parenting, times of frustration, hurt, disappointment, and confusion overwhelms you and that\’s why every parent needs parental support.

So when you appear vulnerable to the situation and the triggers( frustration, anger, and helplessness) stir up, they get you to the point where they erupt your limitations, shame, and fears, and also trigger experiences from your childhood, and with that fear, you react and make a mess of the situation.

Be it as it may, how do you manage or handle your emotions when you are faced with these triggers?

1. Take Responsibility For Your Emotions. Most of the time, parents love the blame game. You think or assume that your child is the reason why you feel the way you do or react. When your emotions control you, you can end up destroying your child and not help him learn how to deal with life. Managing emotions is a critical skill for parents who want to raise children so that anger won\’t destroy tomorrow. Master your emotions because you are the reason and the solution!

2. Change Your Perspective. By and large, the problem lies in the tackling of issues from the parent\’s point of view of \”always being right.” Thinking differently makes you less angry. When your child is unruly or floors the rules, your reaction matters. Rules are meant to be tried and tested by your child but it is your job to guide them in the appropriate way. It is your job to let him know that there are consequences for every action but when you try to control the child, he recoils or becomes extremely rebellious. Your reactivity doesn\’t teach him but your proactivity with the right knowledge makes the difference.

3. Learn How To Be Calm. Calmness is a vital skill every parent should possess. It is a state of being silent in the midst of chaos. It is not about personality. Some people are introverts and not calm.

4.Learn Communication Skills. Giving instructions is quite different from communicating. Healthy communication skill is the key to managing emotions.

5.Choose Your Battles. Some battles require fighting back while some require saying nothing but watching. It takes wisdom to know when to fight back or stay calm. Disciplining your child isn\’t down instantly when situations arise. It is a private affair. Your discipline is to guide your child in order to help them learn and not punish them for their mistakes.

6. Get Parenting Support. Scars of parenting errors can leave you marred for life. As a parent, you need to have a good support structure that makes you accountable and keeps you in check. You don\’t have to run on your own.

Do you often find yourself losing your cool and yelling at your children?

Do you find yourself verbally abusing because you feel verbal abuse is better than physical abuse?

Don\’t kid yourself, verbal abuse can be worse. It happens to many parents, but it doesn\’t have to continue with you.

It is possible to change and enjoy a calmer life because of it!

Yes it is!!

With our upcoming \” MASTER YOUR EMOTIONS CHALLENGE\” , you\’ll learn practical, simple solutions, tools, strategies, guides & motivation to replace aggression and reactivity in your parenting with calm, peace & Thinking.

Whether you have one child or twenty (or one you still yell at who is twenty), strengthen your relationships and maybe even laugh a little more–by taking this CHALLENGE today.

Want to walk this journey with US?

Pay #3,499 instead of #10,000 to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040.

You can register online here: https://selar.co/MYEchallenge

Be Intentional.
©Wendy Ologe
Parent Coach & Author

There are many things that I wish parents knew about parenting , recently I started compiling a lot of things I wish parents knew , eventually I am going to put it out in a book because there are too many things in my head but I first thought to share snippets in this blogpost that would help in your parenting.

I wish that parents knew that ……..

1. Children are made by their habits: What you will need to raise a child who will thrive are habits that last and skills that transform. Children are made by their habits , children who grow up with certain characters can be traced back to certain habits that they must have picked up as children. Habits are built in trickles, you don’t wake up and decide to form those habits.

2. Parenting is First About You: I wish that parents knew that parenting is first about you not the child , church or school. I know that I mentioned first that children are made by their habits but behaviors are learnt but they are are caught more than they are taught. Many times we don’t realize that the way out children behave are as a result of our actions.
Before you go on your journey of parenting you need to go back to your drawing board and question yourself and the things you believe in. Many children become who they become because their parents are parenting with our knowledge. The more knowledge your acquire , the more it rubs off on your child.

3. The World Is A Score Keeper: The world does not reward mediocrity , the world is not that tiny place in your bedroom, your child is the earner and learner of the scores. The world , the school , your environment, your child’s marriage are all score keepers. Your duty is to teach your child how to earn those scores and how to learn to earn those scores. The world won’t just hand over things to your child because they tried , they must learn to earn their scores.

4. Parenting Comes With A Manual: For a long times I have heard people say that parenting has no manual but it will shock you to know that what works for you is not what works in the real sense of it and I have said every time that you can love your child and destroy them.Whether your realize it or not , we are all parenting with a manual whether it was handed over to you by your parents or environment but no one parents in a vacuum . So the question is what are you really parenting from? Some of your manuals have loopholes , some are delivering mediocrity and not excellence , if you find that your manual is not working for you , trash it today and develop what would work for you. Any generation that cannot produce a better system is a failed generation, you need to look at what your parents did, look out for where they failed and reinvent it.Any parenting without a structure and a plan is a failed system and only a manual offers you such. It’s a failed system to think that you can just wake up and start parenting. If you are looking for a manual for your parenting , you need to join the Inner Circle Program.

5. Connection is Everything: Children are bothered about how they felt about their childhood, children are bothered about how secured they feel with you, all the material gifts you give to them doesn’t really matter. If you knew how much connection means to your child you will drop everything. If you connect with your child more , you will do better. Connection is at the bedrock of parenting, when connection is strong children are more wired to comply to rules and instructions. Part of what we do in the academy is to provide daily connection tools where you are held accountable to connect with your children, it’s one thing to be present and another thing to have content with your presence.

6.Schools Only Support What You Have Inculcated In Your Children: What a school does is to build on what you have already imbibed in your children. You as a parent are the most important piece in the academic success of your child. I wish you knew how important you are to the success of your children in the school system. If you knew this , your choice of school will be different.

7.Children Blossom Under Responsibilities:
A child raised to be responsible gives you less worry.The more responsible a child become, the more they are likely to succeed in other areas of life. Children without responsibility don\’t really blossom that much and far.If you are in the waiting list of the academy , you need to know that part of our core is to teach your children responsibility. I am beginning to see a disturbing trend of children becoming irresponsible , where we have created a system of bail out for our children.

8. Screen time is not an advantage to a child but a disadvantage: If you recognize this you will be more conscious of how you expose your children to screen.

9. What discipline is about: Discipline is not about screaming, jumping, shouting, banging head. Discipline is first of all training, discipline involves grooming of children

If your child does the right thing only when you\’re around, then there is something wrong. If discipline is done right, you will struggle less.The most abused subjects in the journey of parenting is discipline, It\’s often used carelessly and applied haphazardly.

10. Parenting is war:

There is a need for conscious, deliberate strategy on how to succeed.You have to plan ahead of a war, so is parenting, you have to plan ahead of the journey.

When you do things with knowledge, you stand a better chance of being successful.
We should parent by intentionality and NOT by probability. How are you fighting this parenting war: ignorantly or knowledgeably?

According to Ecclesiastes 10:15:The labour of the foolish wearieth every one of them, because he knoweth not how to go to the city. Wisdom is the things that other people know that you don\’t know and seek out ways to know them.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE INNER CIRCLE

1. HOW MUCH DOES THIS COST?

The annual subscription fee for the program is N70, 000 .

You book a slot at the enquiry desk with a non-refundable fee of N5,000 for 2023 cohort, and pay your annual fee of N65,000 which you can decide to pay at once N70,000

1. CAN I PAY ON INSTALLMENTS?

Yes, after the initial non-refundable fee of N5,000, you can spread the fee through the year (2-3 installments) but you must have completed payment before we resume on 1st December 2022.

1. CAN MY SPOUSE ENROLL?

Yes couple fee is N120,000 instead of N140,000 (Registration inclusive), so you get to save N20,000 as a couple, because we want to encourage couples to go on this journey together.

1. DO WE STILL HAVE SLOTS?

We currently have slots booked to over 80% of our capacity, and we will stop registration as soon as max our capacity. Slots are filling up quickly, so jump on-board now.

5. HOW DO I MAKE PAYMENT?

Simply book by using this link https://selar.co/tipinnercircle or make direct payment to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy, then send a chat with proof of payment to 08129687040.

As the new school year is resuming what plan have you put in place? A new school session always poses some form of challenge for every child. In preparing your child for a new school year, it is not only preparing for academics, I have found that a lot of parents have this notion.

Preparing your child for back-to-school starts immediately after the closure of the previous school year. The real reason why back-to-school plans are important is that you need to send your children back to school ready to learn and you need to plan every area of their lives.

In getting ready for the new school year, you need to plan their sleep , nutrition , morning routines etc. Preparations for the new school year is divided into 5 areas and we will be sharing fully on these 5 areas in the back to school masterclass coming up from the 5th to 7th of September.You can join the masterclass here.At the back to school this year , we will be teaching how to prepare your child : Socially , Emotionally,Health wise and how to maintain and sustain success in school.

For today\’s blogpost, we will be focusing on the academic aspect of preparing for back to school and this starts with the kind of school your child is attending and what they are doing currently. Every school is not for every child , choosing a school is not about how expensive a school is but how they meet your child\’s needs .

QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE CHOOSING A SCHOOL FOR YOUR CHILD ….

If you are on the verge of changing school for your child or even starting a new session in their previous school, read this. If you are a teacher or a school owner, this is also for you.

Ask the school these question.

1. Does my Family Value align with the value of this school?

A school can be great yet might not necessarily be your focus on raising the kind of child you want! For instance, if you are focused on skills as a value, you need to find a school that can complement your efforts.

2. Does this school support my child’s learning style?

Unfortunately, the traditional school system mostly supports Auditory learners and sometimes visual; if your child is a kinesthetic Learner like my son, he would struggle.

As your parent, your primary role is to first understand your child’s learning style.

3. Safety and security :

Children spend considerable hours of their day in school and it becomes of utmost importance that the safety of children is given due consideration. A safe environment creates an open space for them to explore, learn and grow.

Ask the school for their safety procedures followed in the school in all the areas.

Safety on their person
Sexuality safety; ask for their safety plan on this. Fire safety; ask about the infrastructure on this.

4. Is this school meant for my child?

Every school is not for every child, that a school is great doesn’t necessarily mean it’s for your child. For instance, a child who is gifted in sports should have a school that can support this gifting.

5. Welfare and Quality of Teachers :

This is not just about qualifications because Teaching-learning is an ever-evolving process, so, ensure that the school organizes regular workshops and training for the teachers to keep them up-to-date.

Does the school management should spend a great deal of time, energy, and resources on providing intensive training programs to update the knowledge and upgrade the skills of their teachers.

6. What is The student-teacher ratio? This ensures proper attention and care can be provided to every student.

7. What kind of Curriculum /co-curriculum activities do they run?

the curriculum doesn’t refer to just books and notebooks, it’s the totality of students’ experiences during the educational process.

Any curriculum that will help a child thrive must be child-centric with a focus on learning and practicing the core subject skills as well as Life Skills like English Conversation, Thinking Skills, Personality Development, etc.

Co-curricular activities are an integral part of the school curriculum and help in enhancing the learning process of students. They help in enhancing the social and intellectual skills, moral values, and personalities of the students.

Before you send your child to any school Understand beforehand the curriculum followed and the co-curricular activities offered in the school.

8. What is the school Policy on Discipline? I have seen parents go to beat teachers or fight the school because of the disciplinary strategy used in a school. Before your child enroll in a school; ask how disciplinary issues are handled!

9. What resources are available to help a
child when he or she is struggling:

Providing learning resources and intervention isn’t restricted to children with special needs or learning difficulties, so ensure you ask about a school’s intervention program for Learners who will struggle with aspects of learning along their academic journey.

10. What is Their Early Years Program Like?

As a parent of a child between the ages of 2 and 5, you should ask specific questions about the early childhood program because this is the foundation of your child\’s educational path.
•What is the teacher-to-pupil ratio?
•Is the teaching experiential and hands-on?
•Do they teach using the play way method?
•Does the school provide child development classes that involve practical life activities, and sensorial education?
Is the learning Process child- centered.

We have over 30 questions you must ask before you take your child to a new school; we will be sharing this at the masterclass we are hosting at the academy this September 5th -7th.

To join the BACK TO SCHOOL MASTER CLASS, Pay #5,000 ($13) instead of #20,000 ( $26) to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040. You can register online here: https://selar.co/B2Smasterclass

Benefits attached to this webinar lol when you register include ; Resources worth N42,000 ($100) only for N5,000 ($13) ; if you are able to make payment for the early bird .

•FREE Parent-Teacher Guide worth #2,000

•FREE Parent-Teacher Master Class worth #10,000

•FREE access to the Back To School Master Class 1.0 worth #20,000

A copy of The BACK TO SCHOOL BUNDLE,
Worth 10k Containing :

-A back To school affirmation Pack

-The Parent School Support Template

-Preparing your Child for Boarding school Template

-School routine planner

-School Structure Blueprint

-Meal Planner

-Daily School Preparation planner

-School accountability planner

-30 day Connection Tool

-30 day affirmation pack for toddlers

You can register online here: https://selar.co/B2Smasterclass