Discipline is one area of parenting I have seen parents struggle with in my 5 years as a parent coach. Most of the disciplinary strategies parents use are a struggle because they don\’t understand what works and what doesn\’t work. Our parents showed us that you only discipline by flogging, punishing, and yelling at a child but deep down you know there should be more, right? For you to get it right, you need to understand what discipline is about. Myles Munroe said, \” when the aim of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable.”

The most abused system is the system of discipline and parenting. In Africa, it is believed that African parents are disciplined but the truth is that they are not disciplined but irresponsible with their emotions. You need to understand how the brain works when it comes to response to stimuli.
There are three parts of the brain:
A. The Reptilian brain is said to control functions like breathing, heartbeat, digestion, fight, and flight reaction, and other survival functions that require conscious effort.
B. The Mammalian brain which is also called the emotional brain is responsible for strong emotions like fear, rage, separation anxiety, caring, and nurturing. When you parent with fear, you trigger it.
C. The Human brain is also known as the Thinking brain. People who do better in life are the ones that have developed the part of this brain. It is responsible for learning, reasoning, problem-solving, decision-omaking, or sophisticated thinking. So when I hear people say, \” oh I was raised like that and I turned out well”, it means that they are not thinking at the higher functioning level of the brain because they\’ve been raised to activate the mammalian brain.

The difference between punishment and discipline is that discipline invokes the thinking brain while punishment imparts the emotional brain. For example, our response when we are faced with a situation that poses a danger, the danger triggers an alarm in our emotional brain without going through the thinking brain. When in danger, the stress hormone known as cortisol is released to equip the body to fight back or get away from the object or scene of threat and that\’s what we call the fight or flight mechanism. It is also the reason why most parents fight with their teenagers because they\’ve not been raised to think. Children especially toddlers and preschoolers are curious, ambitious, and fearless. They know little or nothing about safety so they don\’t understand why they are expected to behave in a certain way or do certain things. They don\’t follow reasoning so if the parents resort to fear-based control or threats of punishment every time they trespass, it becomes dangerous because it induces fear in the brain. It\’s one of the mistakes parents make because they think that it makes the child abandon undesired behavior and adopt the desired one, however, the fact is that frequent fear messes up the brain. Frequent fear causes a reduction in the grey matter in the brain.

Having seen the above explanation, let\’s take a look at the strategies you use and why they don\’t work.
1 . Punishment vs Discipline: Punishment creates negative behavior and shifts the child\’s focus to avoid punishment instead of thinking and that\’s why the child is afraid to make mistakes and or fail. The fear in the child won\’t allow the child to try new businesses or speak because they\’ll be afraid to fail. Nonetheless, discipline teaches decision-making, values, learning, and instructions. Instruction is the ladder of legacy and also part of the legacy you leave for your children. Instructions are part of disciplinary strategies and the topmost in the seven legs of legacies.

2 . Inflicting Pains: When you inflict pain on a child, it won\’t give room for the child to think about the wrong he did because he will be focused on nursing the pain he is feeling at that moment. Hitting the child won\’t activate the part of the brain that should think through the process and learn from it so the child struggles.

3 . The Use Of Cane As A Quick Fix: Some parents think that their children listen only when they weld their cane. The question you should ask is, \’ Do they listen, or do they stop for that moment and repeat the same thing? It is a food for thought.

4 . Being Permissive. When some parents hear me say that hitting a child won\’t solve the problem, they stop but do not apply another disciplinary strategy. When you leave your child with no effective disciplinary strategy, the child will grow wild and you will cry foul that the tips don\’t work. It won\’t work because you didn\’t understand the process. There\’s a process and if you don\’t follow the process but copy the display, you\’ll be frustrated and resort to hitting.

5 . Yell, Criticize, and Don’t Teach. When you yell and apply criticism all the time, you\’ll fail. Teach them skills and values.

6 . Being Abusive. Most parents abuse verbally all in the name of discipline. Nobody likes name-calling. The way you don\’t like it when someone abuses you is the same way your children dislike it. Verbal abuse won\’t give your child the opportunity to think through the mistakes or take corrections.

7 . You Reward. Rewarding is not a disciplinary strategy. When a child does something good, you reward and when he does something bad, you withdraw the reward. You are not being consistent and trustworthy.

8 . Accusation and Assumption. Do not accuse your child without verification.

WHAT DO YOU DO?
1 . Create a System of Trust. In parenting, trust is one of the biggest currencies of trade. You can\’t create trust without working on your emotions. Your children need to trust you even when you might be doing things that they don\’t like but they trust you through the process because you are a parent and not a friend.

2 .Create Structures. Without structure, your discipline strategy will fail. A good structure, when put in place, will help you not to resort to yelling or hitting.

3 .Work On Your Emotions. I always say that emotions are the control valve of your life. Your emotions will make you responsible when disciplining your child. If you don\’t work on your emotions, you can\’t achieve all the tips I\’ve dropped. You can handle and manage your emotions by getting into a course that works with a curriculum. Be consistent and make discipline a teaching tool.

Replicating a healthy relationship with your children is key. When creating rules without a relationship, you\’ll cause rebellion. You have to put in the work by working on your emotions. When you fail to do so, you are just being a lazy parent. The Bible says that the journey of a foolish man wearieth him because he doesn\’t know how to go to the city. Stop being weary in parenting and rather access wisdom.

The BECOMING AN EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT PARENT COURSE for 2023 is starting soon. This course only airs once every year and it leaves you with the kind of impact to last for years. In the past 5 years – The Intentional Parent Academy ™️ we have trained over 5,000 parents on parenting with emotional intelligence.

We currently have over 800+ parents already registered for this cohort. And the good news is; you can get the early bird offer Now before Monday.

This course will show you in practical terms how you can work on your
emotions and use them positively in your journey as a parent

1. Learn to Understand Your Emotions
2. Understand Your Yelling Triggers And Ditch Them
3. How Emotions Management can help behavior management/discipline in parenting
4. Learn how emotions management helps us become better people.

WHAT\’S IN IT FOR YOU?

1. Specialised Q & A session for the first 1,000 participants with our Lead Coach Wendy Ologe.
2. 1 month follow up and accountability circle worth 50,000
3. Get access to 5 support resources to help you on your journey worth 250,000
4. Master Your Emotions 2022 Replay\” worth 10,000

All these for only 15,500 if you met up with the early bird offer that closes in 2 days..

Register for the Emotional Intelligence Course here: https://selar.co/emotionalintelligentparent or pay #15,500 to 0509494057 (GTB). The Intentional Parent Academy. Send proof of payment to 09036633600.
(this early bird ends on the 31st of January)

Have you ever said something especially to your children or partner, that you regretted? Do you have fears that prevent you from taking risks that would benefit you? If you answered yes, you are not in control of your emotions, and believe me, you are not alone. Gaining control over your emotions helps you become mentally strong, and the good thing is that anyone can become better at regulating their emotions. The flip side is that if you don\’t learn to manage your emotions, they can make a mess of your life.
Emotions are powerful and it\’s been proven that emotions are the base by which we thrive as humans. Many people believe that they manage their emotions well because they don\’t talk about them or respond. Ignoring emotions like anger, sadness, embarrassment, guilt, etc is not the same as having control over your emotions. Your emotions are a determinant factor in how you:

• Interact with people.
• Spend your money.
• Spend your time.
• How do you deal with your challenges, and
• Who you become.

There is no success without your ability to manage your emotions. For you to succeed in managing your emotions, there are factors you have to handle, and they are;

1. Impact Of Emotions. Many of us do not know that emotions have impacts. Acknowledging and being conscious of them is key. Intense emotions are not bad rather emotions make our life exciting, unique, vibrant, etc. It is natural to be overwhelmed with emotions from time to time when something wonderful or terrible happens but it is vital that you know when there is a problem. A conflicting marriage or friendship, a limitation on your social interaction, or constantly having troubles at work or in school are examples of the impact of emotions. Another sign of emotional impact is Numbing Feelings: Having the urge to numb a feeling or feelings by intake alcohol or drugs to calm your nerves or make the feeling go away shows that you are struggling with your emotions. In addition, is Physical Outbursts: Thinking that yelling when trying to discipline someone, is an impact of irresponsible emotional regulation.
2. Accept All Emotions: All emotions are valid but it is what you do with them that makes the difference. Anger is a valid emotion and can get you success but it depends on how you handle and how you turn it around matters.
3. Regulating Emotions: Your inability to say how you feel is a disaster, and your inability to name how you feel is a bigger disaster because for you to manage any form of emotion, you must learn what that emotion does to you. Repressing your emotions won\’t help you.
4. Get Help: Allow help!! Allow yourself to be helped. When you are in trouble or going through emotional turmoil, seek help. Bottling things up can make you anxious or depressed which will end in placing you on drugs. The drugs will do nothing for you.
   There are things you can\’t control like the death of a loved one and there are things you can control and influence. So when you find yourself in things that are out of your control, you build skills that can help you in that circle of influence. Here are ways by which you can achieve that: 1. Label Your Emotions: Before you can change how you feel, you need to acknowledge what you are experiencing. A lot of people can\’t name their emotions because they\’ve not been taught how to unmask their emotions, e.g if the school authority calls to let you know that your child was caught in exam malpractice. The normal reaction will be to shout, yell, and hit the child in the name of being angry but in the real sense, it\’s embarrassment and shame. When you handle the problem from the angle of anger, it can\’t be dealt with properly because you haven\’t named what you are feeling. 2 . Reframe Your Thoughts: In Philippians 4: 8, states, \” Finally brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, things that are of good report if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” There is a process and skill of reframing your thoughts. Your thoughts affect the way you perceive events. You need to learn how to consider the emotion filter through which you view the world from. If you can\’t control your emotions, you are still viewing the world through the lens your parents gave you and you\’ve not been able to refine it. 3 . Create A Strategy: Creating a strategy to work on your emotions or practicing emotional regulation skills is key. If there is no strategy and you do not go through a curriculum, you cannot change. Your change is not in who you are but in who you are becoming. When you gain control over your emotions, you become a better person.

Emotions are the control valve of your life. Troubles will never cease to come. When they come, what do you do? Being able to control your emotion is essential. The parenting journey is a tough one. As a parent, how do you manage that situation? Emotional control is not a prayer point but a skill.

Are still thinking of taking the course on \”Becoming an Emotionally Intelligent parent\”?

We opened up registration for the BECOMING AN EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT PARENT COURSE for 2023.

This course only airs once every year and it leaves you with the kind of impact to last for years. In the past 5 years – The Intentional Parent Academy ™️ we have trained over 5,000 parents on parenting with emotional intelligence.

We currently have over 500 parents already registered for this cohort. This course will show you in practical terms how you can work on your
emotions and use them positively in your journey as a parent

•Learn to Understand Your Emotions

•Understand Your Yelling Triggers And Ditch Them

•How Emotions Management can help behavior management/discipline in parenting,
•Learn how emotions management helps us become better people.

WHAT\’S IN IT FOR YOU?

•Specialised Q & A session for the first 500 participants with our Lead Coach Wendy Ologe.

•1 month follow up and accountability circle worth 50,000

•Get access to 5 support resources to help you on your journey worth 250,000

•Master Your Emotions 2022 Replay\” worth 10,000

Parenting is a journey. The difference between going to a place when you know your way and going to a place when you don\’t is clear. Both individuals will get to their destinations but the later might get there bruised!Take this journey of parenting with knowledge today.

REGISTRATION FEE is 20,000

BUT THE CURRENT EARLY BIRD OFFER is
15,500 / $35 (this offer ends on the 21st of January)

Register Here:
https://selar.co/emotionalintelligentparent or Pay N15,500 to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy. Send proof of payment to 09036633600.

Don’t forget, there are no tips and hacks that work anywhere, only processes changes things.

In recent times, I have met young children who can\’t engage in conversations, share or build thriving relationships. Most of the problems we are having with teenagers and young adults are due to a lack of social skills. We are raising children who can\’t connect because of different issues like COVID, security reasons, and technology e.g., children now have play dates by connecting online thereby shutting out social intelligence which makes the child socially awkward. Many times, parents are quick to judge them but we can\’t because they weren\’t taught. We focus mainly on academic excellence but that\’s not all that is expected. Academic excellence without social intelligence, emotional intelligence, adversity quotient, or spiritual triviality skills comes to nothing. If you concentrate only on Intelligence Quotient and leave the rest out, you are going to fail on your parenting journey and that\’s the reality.
Creating a social roadmap for your children is a key factor in parenting. What the road map does is help you as a parent pay attention to the things you NEED to do to know how to place the people your child will need at some point in their lives. Now, let\’s take a look at some of the social skills that are required.

In recent times, I have met young children who struggle with social skills and have difficulty engaging in conversations, building relationships, and expressing themselves. The COVID pandemic, increased use of technology, and other factors have led to a lack of opportunities for children to develop their social intelligence. Parents often blame the children for their difficulties, but the truth is that these skills must be taught and nurtured. We focus mainly on academic excellence but that\’s not all that is expected. Academic excellence without social intelligence, emotional intelligence, adversity quotient, or spiritual triviality skills comes to nothing. If you concentrate only on Intelligence Quotient and leave the rest out, you are going to fail on your parenting journey and that\’s the reality. To be successful in parenting, it is essential to create a social roadmap for your children that focuses on developing these key skills.

1 . Effective Communication and Conversation Skills: For a child to be able to navigate through life, effective communication skills are essential. Eye contact is a fundamental aspect of communication, as it helps establish a connection between people. Many children, particularly teenagers, struggle with conversation skills. Giving your child a smartphone and allowing them to communicate with friends online is not enough to teach them how to communicate effectively. The internet won\’t teach your child how to communicate effectively.

2 . Listening: In addition to communication, listening is also an important skill for children to develop. When we talked about listening in the Inner Circle, I shared with the parents “Moving from ignoring, to selective listening, and ultimately to empathic listening is crucial for children to connect with others”. Being quiet and attentive does not mean that one is truly listening. Teach your child to become an empathic listener, to truly connect with others.\”

3 . Relationship Skills: As I\’ve said earlier “Creating a social roadmap for your Gen Z child is important for their development in relationships. When I was young, I had the opportunity to go to a particular open field to play with other kids every day. I had no after-school lesson teacher and there wasn\’t a day I didn\’t go out in the field to play. There was a lot to learn at that playground. There were road maps that were there that helped us to socialize.

As a parent, you are the most influential person in your child\’s life until they reach 9-10 years old. At this point, their peer group and other adults become more influential. It\’s important to have a plan in place for these \”other adults\” in your child\’s life so they are not easily influenced by anyone. This can be done by creating a system of relationships, starting from the child\’s birth. This includes positioning positive influences and being intentional in who your child interacts with. This way, when the \”other adult\” comes into the picture, your child will have a solid foundation and won\’t struggle with navigating relationships. The bitter part is that the \’other adult’ can be Naira Marley, Kim Kardashian, Neymar, Tiwa Savage, Burna Boy, or a random person on your street. If you are intentional enough to create a system of relationships, the other adult will be people you have already set up for your child and they\’ll climb the ladder effortlessly. You start creating from the time the child is born.

4 . Accepting Consequences: One of the biggest problems we have in parenting is that we are not teaching children responsibility and accountability rather when something goes wrong, we push the blame on the devil. When you do not teach your child to accept the consequences of their behavior, you teach them to cover up their mistakes and become irresponsible and non-accountable. If your child does something bad in school and gets suspended one week before the exams, you get home and beat the child thinking you\’ve disciplined him then beg the school authority to lift the suspension because according to you, you\’ve disciplined the child. What you don\’t know is that you\’ve shown your child that he doesn\’t need to accept consequences for his action but just needs little pain and everything will be all right. Accepting consequences isn\’t beating the child but allowing the child to go through the process of what is to come when they make decisions. Do not bail them out because by accepting the consequences, you teach and help them become responsible.

5 . Self-regulation: It\’s a key aspect of your process. If you don\’t know how to self-regulate as a parent, you\’ll run into trouble because you won\’t know how to teach your child. Self-regulation is impulse control. Are you responsible enough for your emotions? Social intelligence requires self-regulation to know how to interact with people around you. Yelling, addiction to cocaine, and betting are examples of low impulse control and it happens when the amygdala triggers dopamine. These hinder socialization.

Social Intelligence is the theme of the month in the academy. Becoming intentional about creating the social intelligence roadmap is vital and should not be left to chance. It will help you put a system in place as a guide for your children. Without relationships, you can\’t become fruitful and fruitful means being relational. You can\’t choose friends for your children but you can create an environment where they choose friends and influencers.

We opened up registration for the BECOMING AN EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT PARENT COURSE for 2023.

This course only airs once every year and it leaves you with the kind of impact to last for years. In the past 5 years – The Intentional Parent Academy ™️ we have trained over 5,000 parents on parenting with emotional intelligence.

We currently have over 300 parents already registered for this cohort. And the good news is; you can get the first early bird offer Now before Saturday. This course will show you in practical terms how you can work on your
emotions and use them positively in your journey as a parent

1.Learn to Understand Your Emotions

2. Understand Your Yelling Triggers And Ditch Them

3.How Emotions Management can help behavior management/discipline in parenting,

4. Learn how emotions management helps us become better people.

WHAT\’S IN IT FOR YOU?

1. Specialised Q & A session for the first 500 participants with our Lead Coach Wendy Ologe.
2. 1 month follow up and accountability circle worth 50,000
3. Get access to 5 support resources to help you on your journey worth 250,000
4. Master Your Emotions 2022 Replay\” worth N10,000

All these for only 10,500. Register Here:
https://selar.co/emotionalintelligentparent
Pay #10,500 to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy. Send proof of payment to 09036633600.

For Enquiries : Call 0903 663 3600

As I watched this 12-year-old smash his phone because he was struggling to get the game working and was visibly frustrated. I couldn\’t help but worry about what kind of adult he will become if he is not taught how to regulate his emotions now!

Emotional regulation is one of the challenges parents encounter. Ironically, parents blame their children for how they handle their emotions but in my many years of practice, I have seen that most children regulate their emotions the same way they have been modeled to. So in essence, for a child, emotional regulation is primarily learned at home. Some people will say that they can manage their emotions but in the fact, they are either repressing or suppressing their emotions. Repressing or suppressing emotions is not the same as regulating emotions. You repress your emotions when you UNCONSCIOUSLY put down your emotions and you suppress when you CONSCIOUSLY put down your emotions. A lot of parents find it difficult to manage their emotions so they repress, suppress, or just erupt. When our children behave in the same manner, we have a problem with it. You don\’t realize that it affects the people around you but when they act similarly, you begin to see it as a problem. Managing emotions is an indispensable skill parents need to learn.

Here Are Six Simple Steps to Help Your Child With Emotions Regulation:

1. Labelling Emotions: You can\’t manage your emotions if you can\’t interpret them. This is one of the most important things parents can do for their children but it becomes a problem because most parents do not have an idea of what labeling emotions is all about. Some parents interpret frustration as anger. Some label disappointment as sadness. Teach your child to know what they are feeling at the time. Once you can put your emotions in perspective, you can control other aspects of your life. You won\’t struggle and parenting becomes easier.
2. Recognizing Their Feelings: When your children are still babies, you should be able to label their emotions for them. For example, if your 3-year-old is having a meltdown, you can label the emotions by saying, \” I know you are feeling disappointed because mummy didn\’t give you the toy, right? Or, \” you are angry because daddy said no.” Or, \” you feel sad because we want to leave the park? It\’s okay but this is why we need to leave.” This will help your children to pair their emotions with how they feel and also understand how they feel but if you do not have these vocabularies, you can\’t share them.
3. Explain to Them What Their Bodies Experience When The Emotions Are Ongoing: There are some physical sensations in your body when you recognize how you feel emotionally. For instance, when you are angry, your muscles tighten up or get tensed up. Sometimes your head is foggy and your mouth becomes dry.
4. Validate Their Emotions: Don’t dismiss how they are feeling by telling them things like, \” Okay, there is nothing wrong with you.” Or, \” there\’s nothing to be scared of.” Saying all that is for them to feel better but comments like this make a child think that their feelings must be wrong. Your child will learn not to trust their feelings but it will be more helpful when you acknowledge how they feel. Even so, normalizing their experience by offering suggestions for dealing with the feeling helps, e.g: a lot of children feel nervous on their first day of school. You can say, \” I know you feel scared now. Sometimes what you think will be scary turns out not to be after all. Do you still remember how you handled your first visit to the doctor\’s office?” That\’s validation and there is nothing quite effective as drawing upon real-life lessons.
5. Allow Them To Express Their Feelings Even if They Are Different From Yours: Children who are not allowed to express how they feel will learn that it\’s not safe to express emotions so they learn to repress their emotions. It is wrong for parents to ask their children why they are angry or tell them that they don\’t have the right to get angry. They will still feel the feelings but will continue to shove those feelings deep down until they can\’t fit in any emotions and then, boom! They explode. All those feelings that they have not been able to express will come bubbling up to the surface. When that happens, the parents become surprised by the outburst but the truth of the matter is that the child has been repressing and suppressing his emotions because you\’ve not allowed him to express how he feels.
6. Teach Coping Skills: Many parents expect their children to know how to cope but they can\’t because they are not taught. Before you teach your child, you need to learn. Teach them to;
7. Ask others to help or assist when needed.
8. Take responsibility for the situation.
9. Engage in problem-solving.
10. Positive thinking.

Becoming an Emotionally intelligent parent is one of the major courses we run in the academy.

You can register for the 2023 cohort here

Without Emotional Intelligence you won\’t succeed but struggle. In order to manage your emotions, you need to go through a curriculum because if you don\’t go through a curriculum, you can’t solve the problem. The ability to regulate emotions affects every area of your child\’s life, their education, mental health, relationship with others, ability to bounce back from difficulty, self-esteem, etc. Let your child know that being angry, sad, or disappointed is okay but the key is how you as the parent manage the emotions. These negative emotions are data that the child will need to work on to make himself a better person.

Separate emotions from the behavior so that you can teach appropriate expression of emotion and not stop the expression of the behavior You are the first beneficiary of your ineffective parenting. If you don\’t teach your children these things, the first person they\’ll give it to is you. Before society will come to terms with a child that\’s not responsible, you\’ll experience it first-hand and that\’s how it is with managing emotions.

DO YOU WANT YOUR CHILD TO BECOME THE ADULT YOU ARE?

I remember hearing my father say to me “When I got married, I desired that my children won\’t get this and that of my characteristics”… What he never said to me was if he worked on himself to become a better version of him in those areas but I didn\’t bother because the answers were staring me right in the face.

My father\’s ability to manage his emotions just like many parents in that generation was one of his parenting struggles… He only wished that his children managed their emotions differently but did nothing about it.

We all hated the fact that my father couldn\’t deal with that part of his life and did we want to become like that? None of us wanted that part of him.

I became a parent and found emotional intelligence to be a Core to the overall success of my children; I didn\’t have a well-developed one and boom, I chased it like my life was dependent on it. But I didn\’t just wish it or only pray it, I worked hard to build myself to become a new version of myself.

I will be sharing and walking with parents through all of my processes in the past 10 years of this journey at the BECOMING AN EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT PARENT course coming up at the TIP academy on the 10th of February. You should register Now!

You can register here: https://selar.co/emotionalintelligentparent

That\’s where my favorite quote from my bestseller Connect To Correct originated from “PARENTING IS ABOUT ME NOT MY CHILD”. I understood that if I do nothing as my father did, then I can\’t replicate the results I have today…..I would be in that place where this question will be a struggle.

When you ask yourself this question today “Do you want your children to become the adult you are?

What response comes to mind?

Pause and give a sincere answer…If the answer is neither here nor there, you need to work on yourself before you blame your child.

A few days ago I asked the parents in our inner circle program this same question and most of them sincerely X-rayed themselves on it and gave answers that would change the course of their lives in the next 30 years. In the conversation, a parent said to me “Coach I am weeping reading these, I am making a vow to become all I can, a better version of me”.

Are you committing to becoming better?
I say that if your parenting isn\’t changing you, you are not parenting effectively… My biggest growth in life has been the one that happened between 2010 When I became a parent and now! Parenting became my superpower.

Anytime I look back, I am so grateful I became a parent but you know what? I was working to become better.. Today I can confidently say, I want my child to become the adult I am today. Okay over to you Are you that person you want your child to become? Would a better version of you do your child some More good? You should start today and join our upcoming course. Want more details on the Upcoming course chat : 0903 663 3600

Fear is one of the most powerful emotions, it has an extremely strong impact on your mind and body. It makes you do a whole lot of things when it comes to parenting such as yelling, hitting, controlling, and taking things out of proportion. At times, we judge parents who use harsh discipline on their children, and we also judge those who just let their children have their way. These two extremes are not the way to go but one thing I have come to realize, behind all of them is that fear is the driving force.

Most parents are afraid that they will fail. Even the ones that seem to have it all figured out are afraid that they might fail after doing all that they know to do.
Fear tries you emotionally and sometimes cripples you but parenting from a place of anxiety won\’t help you either. The idea is to bring to light ways by which you can get rid of fear in your parenting journey but let\’s take a look at the effects of parenting with fear.

1. Your children aren\’t learning: In my book, \”Raising an independent thinking child”, I wrote about how and why your child can learn through failures and mistakes. Learning through mistakes is an asset and also a part of development. I\’ve seen that a lot of children don\’t learn through mistakes because their parents don\’t want them to fail. These parents can do anything to stop the child from failing including doing the wrong things. Doing so robs the child of the opportunity to fail and learn because he needs to fail so he can learn, grow, and gain confidence.
2. Stop them from making their own decisions: Many parents can\’t stand their children taking decisions on their own because they are afraid that will make mistakes or that something might happen to them. Stopping them won\’t bring to an end whatever you are afraid of rather the happenings in the world will get worse. So it\’s best to prepare them for the future because you won\’t be available all the time.
3. Raising children with low self-esteem: Self-esteem comes from competence and confidence are built on competence. Until the children do, they can\’t evolve and it\’s in your evolving that you gain confidence. A lot of adults are dealing with low self-esteem and cover it up by being rude. Low self-esteem is a result of battered childhood because the opportunity to speak or express oneself wasn\’t given.
4. Fear of future outcome: A lot of parents live the lives of their children by projecting the things that will happen in the child\’s life in the future. For example, some parents envision that by age 20, their kids will be out of the school system and ready for job opportunities. So you get to see an 8year old already in 7th grade just so he can meet up with the parent\’s predictions.
5. Limiting the children by your fears: Most times, children\’s efforts are limited by the parents because of their childhood experiences. I remember when I didn\’t buy into the idea of the twins nor I learning how to swim because of the loss of someone via drowning. I didn\’t know that the trauma affected me till I got helped and faced my fears.

I know that you are wondering how you should eliminate fear-based parenting?

Parenting from a place of calm is attainable but you need to empower yourself with the mastery needed such as;
1 . Knowledge : When you are faced with fear and at the same time armed with knowledge, you\’ll know the right step to take. That\’s why the scripture says that wisdom and knowledge are the stability of our time. Lack of knowledge brings about weariness and struggles in your parenting journey.

2 . Believe that you can: Many of us do not believe that we are capable of raising effective children. If you don\’t believe the message( the child) and the messenger( you as the parent), you won\’t get anywhere or achieve anything. Parenting isn\’t perfection. You don\’t have to be perfect to become a good parent but you need to be trained to become a better parent and for you to succeed, you need to be humble enough to be trained.

3 . Have a vision, mission, and values: A lot of parents do not even know where they are headed in their parenting journey while some don\’t even know if they are applying the right principles. Create values, visions, and missions that guide your family because it helps to put structures in your home.

4 . Read: Readers are leaders! As parents, you ought to read voraciously to acquire the knowledge needed. There\’s a lot to learn so you must read. I have written books on parenting and they are just what the doctor ordered. In this time and era, we have gone past parenting with intuitions and experiences. Garner up knowledge because knowledge dispels fears. Knowledge gives you the courage to walk in the presence of fear. It also gives you a soft landing when faced with chaos.

Are you struggling to find meaningful ways to connect with your family during the holiday season? Our intentional Christmas bundle is here to help!

With our carefully curated selection of activities and resources, you\’ll have everything you need to create meaningful traditions and build deeper connections with your children. From our 12 day Christmas calendar to age appropriate movie sections , these tools will help you make the most of your time together and create lasting memories.

Imagine spending quality time with your family, laughing and learning together as you create new traditions and strengthen your bond. With our intentional Christmas bundle, you can make this a reality and give your loved ones the gift of deeper connection this holiday season.

Order now and get started giving your children the best holiday they have ever had. Don\’t miss out on this opportunity to create lasting memories and make the most of your holiday season.

Click here https://selar.co/Intentionalchristmasbundle to get your copy of the Intentional Christmas Bundle. You can pay offline to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment to 08129687040.

©️The Intentional Parent Academy™️

It has become a standard for parents to get pressurized during the festive season. For some parents, they go to extreme measures just to make sure that a lot happens even when the finance to facilitate such isn\’t readily available. Cooking every day, Attending every occasion, and Buying new clothes for every member of the family. Surprisingly, this pattern didn\’t just start in our era but has been passed from generation to generation and the essence of Christmas is disregarded.

Growing up, we looked forward to Christmas until we started becoming senior teens. My parents had great plans for us as children, but like many parents, they lost track of them as we grew older. I often say that parenting skills change as your children grow. Worse still in this era, parents don\’t create plans anymore because of many factors. Holidays should have routines, structures, and plans. You don\’t leave it to chance. They are a huge part of your parenting plan.

Creating family rituals should be one of your family values. In my home, we have created an intentional structure for holidays, nothing is left to chance. The structures might be different in many homes but the templates and principles behind them are the same. However, before we dive into our main topic for today, I would likehighlight 6 things Christmas is not.

Christmas is:

1. Not an emergency. Christmas is not the time for you to run helter-skelter just to finish what you weren\’t able to do,e.g, buying \’christmas clothes\’ or stocking up your pantry etc.
2. Not about spending money. A lot of parents think that the holiday season is the period you get to spend all you labored and saved up throughout the year. It is not!
3. Not a burden. Christmas is also not the time to take up the heavy load of thinking of where to borrow money and spend just for the holiday. Do not worry your head because worry will wear you out.
4. Not a time of pressure. Some parents are already feeling agitated because they have not fulfilled the rituals of buying Christmas clothes for their children. It\’s not stated anywhere in the constitution that special clothes must be bought during the Christmas holidays. What happens when you put pressure on yourself, it spoils the mood in the home, and when that happens, it trickles down to the kids and there will be no harmony because everyone is irritable.
5. Not a time to ship the kids to relatives. Do not get me wrong, a lot happens to the children during that period. Children can be molested or abused by cousins, uncles, or aunts. It is your responsibility as a parent to protect your children.
6. Not a time for a competition. The holiday season is not the time to \’pepper Dem \’ [show off] or compete with family members. If you can not afford to get new outfits, you can comfortably wear the ones you have. Surprisingly, the people you want to show off for won\’t even notice your change of wardrobe.

Christmas Is The Time Of :

1 . Bonding with family: Many parents have asked, \”Coach how do I bond with my children during the festive period?\” There are many ways by which you can bond with your children. It can be through the activities you do as a family. It is one of the reasons why I came up with the intentional Christmas bundle. It is packed with a lot of fun activities that you can do on daily basis. Your children need and cherish the times you spend in gatherings.

Christmas is a time that is ought to be looked forward to not because of the wining and dining or the new clothes but because of the beautiful memories created.

2 . Being thankful : In the inner circle, we started with teaching the level 1 how to keep gratitude journals. Gratitude makes you focus on things you have and not get worried over things you don\’t have and can\’t control. It helps you focus on the people you are blessed and surrounded with and adds value to you.

3 . Gift giving: Most people think that before you give someone a gift, it must be a huge and expensive one. Gift giving is not about the size or price but the thought that comes with the gift. Teach your children how to give gifts because a lot of us grew up not knowing how to receive gifts because we were not taught how to and so you feel undeserving when someone gives you.

4 . Connections, Conversations, and Communications: It brings the opportunity for you to connect with your kids, have valuable conversations, and learn how to communicate with them. Connection is the first tool in parenting because parenting is a game of influence and not a game of force. Look for things that can facilitate the connection. It can be games, puzzles, or movies. Many of us are raising children we do not know. If you do not know your child, you can\’t parent effectively. If you don\’t spend time with your child, you won\’t know who he/she is. Do not let them spend their holiday in front of the screen at all times just because they are not in session. Bond with them by connecting and being present. Presence doesn\’t just entail being there physically, it\’s about the content and quality of the time spent with the children. People think that an absent parent isn\’t physically available. Some parents can be present yet absent.

6 . Fun: It should be fun fun fun!!! Create activities that the children will look forward to once they get out of bed. I created the intentional Christmas bundle so that parents can plan the holiday with everyone included. Put up structures and routines because they are the bane of effective parenting. The structure protects the children at home because they are guided by it.

In conclusion, Christmas shouldn\’t be that time of the year when parents should allow the festive fever to get to them. Do not be under pressure to do more than you can handle, nobody will die! Dedicate the holiday to relaxing, spending time with loved ones, and creating everlasting memories. Enjoy simple things TOGETHER. Real joy is found in togetherness. Get a copy of the intentional christmas bundle and it will aid you in creating rituals in your family.

Have you ever wondered to yourself ; Am I doing this parenting right? Are there things I should be doing , that I aren’t doing ?

Is there more ?

Oh yesssss! There are questions you must ask to find answers because great Parents are not born, they are made. Self evaluation is an integral part of being a great Parent . You must be able to review your journey for success, if you don’t access your journey you will fail. Many times one of the things that happen to us on the journey of parenting is that we do not understand how much parenting needs to be trained. Parenting doesn’t need perfection, parenting needs you to be trained, and when you get trained you also learn how to create plans, structures, and systems.

When you have plans and systems you know what to review, Parents in our inner circle program will understand this blog post better because they already have the parameters and tools to review their journey.

Send a chat to 0812 968 7040 to learn more about the Inner Circle Program

So What Are The areas you need to evaluate in 2022?

These areas I will be highlighting are not to overwhelm you but for you to sit down and begin to think about your process “What are you doing right? What are you not doing right, where will you need to put in the work etc. Evaluating your parenting journey will help you to know what is wrong and also helps you to know where you are going.

1. Love and Affection: Love and affection? I know you are wondering how to evaluate your love and affection. A lot of the time I tell parents that knowing that you love their child is not enough, showing that you love your child is very key. There are many parameters that you can use to measure love and affection and they include :
   i. Connection with your children
   ii. How much time do you spend with them
2. Time and Stress Management: The problem is not how much you have to do, the problem is in your ability to manage what you have on your table. We all have 24 hours and if you are not careful you will not be able to use them well. People often wonder how I do all I do, here is a big secret “if you can manage your time, you will be able to achieve more on your journey “ One of the masterclasses we hold in the Inner circle is how to manage your time and stress, one parent in the inner circle shared that this webinar on particular transformed her entire life. So your problem is not that you don\’t have time or you have a lot to do, your problem is that you don\’t know how to manage your time. So you want to evaluate your time and stress management to see where you are now. I have also found that a lot of parents best their children when they are stressed, if your stress level is not well managed your parenting will joy be successful.
3. Relationship Skills: One of the very first things you learn in the Academy is how to “Create a social roadmap for your Genzer”. If you created this roadmap you should begin to look at it and where you are now.

This roadmap includes your own relationship, during one of our masterclasses on Legacy the academy I mentioned that your children should be able to inherit relationships that are strategic from you.

1. Autonomy and Independence: You need to be able to measure how independent your kids are. One of the challenges we face in our clime is that we find children who are too dependent on us and that\’s why we have “30-year-olds who still live with their parents “.
   The more independent your child is, the less stressful your journey becomes, an unskilled child is a burden to you.

One of the things I shared in my latest book “Raising The Independent Thinking Child” is that independence starts from the day you have your child. When you think of independence you should think of it from the perspective of how your child can survive without you, there is a level of independence that even a child should have at every point in time. When you are raising children, your goal should be independence at every point in time.

1. Education and Learning: When you learn more, your children become better at it. Your children are a product of the following;
   I. What you know
   ii. Where they were raised
   iii. Who raised them, these are very important. A lot of us were not taught to learn, so you need to measure how much you have learned from last year to this year on your journey, how much more have you been to add to your journey, and what more are you adding to your children. Whenever our children are coming back from school, My husband and I always benchmark ourselves over what new thing can we can become for our children.

In 2023, your children are requiring wisdom and not just parenting, they are not only interested in instructions, but you are also interested in wisdom so wisdom is a major part of your parenting. You need to be intelligent in the aspect of parenting. Have valuable are you to your children? Until you create a system of value, no one will come to you. Parenting is like a race, you are constantly benchmarking yourself with yourself. As your children are coming home, what new things have you added to yourself?

1. Emotions Management: How have you been able to work and manage your emotion in 2022?Intentional parenting is about having a hold of your emotions.
2. Disciplinary & Behavioural Management:
   Do you have a disciplinary plan in your home? Unpredictability is one of worst tools you want to employ in your parenting. Children don\’t thrive in unpredictability and this is a lack of discipline.

Christmas for me is about making memories with your family and this can be achieved by just creating activities that will help you and your family bond.

These activities are not about how big or expensive they are , what is important are they connection that make with your family.

Want to make this Christmas extra special for your family? Check out all you get in our Intentional Christmas Bundle

🔺Intentional Christmas 12 day planner
🔺Christmas Family Traditions
🔺Christmas Activity Planner
🔺Christmas Bucketlist
🔺Holiday Event list
🔺Plain December Calendar
🔺Budget Planner
🔺Christmas gifts guide
🔺Family Outfit planner
🔺Christmas / Holiday Party Planner
🔺Menu Planner
🔺Age Specific Movie Guide

If you\’ve gotten any of our academy bundles the you know what to expect. Remember that Christmas is not an emergency, today is a great time to start your plans. To purchase a copy of The Intentional Christmas Bundle, pay #2000 ($5) to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040.

You can purchase online using this link: https://selar.co/Intentionalchristmasbundle

It is no longer news that we are raising children in a rapidly changing world. In reality, we are not only raising them in a changing world but also raising them for an unknown future. As the world transitions, we must rethink our approach to parenting. Inventions and innovations spring up every day and our values and orientations are being challenged. Life has transitioned from an analog era to a digital one where everything is smoother, easier, and faster with each passing day.

As you read on, I want you to start thinking and positioning yourself about parenting in 30 years to come because nothing will change. Things won\’t go back to the way they were, rather they will become more complex in years to come so when you raise a gutless child, you\’ll be creating a big problem for him because he won\’t be able survive what\’s in the world. The question remains, how are you prepared for what will come?

As a parent, you need to recognize these changes, understand what is going on and how to tackle them. Below are some of the changes that we will encounter:

1. Purpose, Meaning, and Sincerity: In the times that we are on now, people do not do things with intent. Sincerity is no longer a priority for doing things because we are in a tech world that has become a tool to create something meaningful or bad. The core reason for tech is to deaden the conscience.
2. Freedom: Because tech is available to all and sundry, it has offered free access for people to behave as they like and for their behavior to be accepted. People come online dressed as they like, say uncouth things, and they\’ll be condoned.
3. Low focus level: Tech reduces/ crashes one’s focus. People do a lot of things just to channel attention to themselves which in turn can take our children’s focus off what\’s not necessary.
4. Self-love: People will go to any length to make the world revolve around them. So no one would care if what he/she is doing will harm others. It\’s all about self-gratification.

So how prepared is your child for an unknown future? What skill sets do you need to equip them with to thrive in a changing world? Time will fail me to mention all the skill sets required but here are some that I have narrowed down.

1 . Communication and relationship skills: There is no fruitfulness without a relationship. The closer your relationship with those that matter, the more your child will be able to make a transgenerational impact. If you fail to teach your child how to communicate and connect physically in the world we are in now, they\’ll struggle. Your child will be able to have something \’extra’ to position themselves and that \’extra’ is what you\’ll equip your child with. The more you put your child to the screen, the less your child becomes able to build social skills.

2 . Spiritual skills: Being spiritual isn\’t about going to church every Sunday or staying there from 8 am to 4 pm. It is about raising children who will have a personal relationship with their maker and hear from Him. We are in perilous times so you have to raise a child that is spiritually grounded.

3 . Focus: You need everything you can lay your hands on to build focus in your children. In the inner circle, our curriculum is mainly based on activities that will help you teach your children how to focus. The level of attention and attention span will diminish in years to come so the little number of kids who are raised to focus will make the difference. The focus will become key.

It\’s 4 days to the start of the 2023 cohort of the inner circle. Send a chat to 08129697040 to register now!

4 . Critical thinking: He who knows why is better than he who knows how. In my recent book titled, “Raising The Independent Thinking Child” I emphasized ways by which parents can raise a child who can think because I found out that we were raised not to think but to follow instructions. We were raised with how and not why and that\’s why some of us still tow the same path our parents did. The child you give only instructions to in this era won\’t survive because the world is no longer the same. If you parent only on instructions then you\’ll raise children who would not be able to think. The idea is to raise a child who can find fulfillment in God’s order of who and what the child is called to do.

5 . Agility and adaptability skills: The world we are living in is full of adversity, persecution, and bullying, and most children are not ready for such. The reason is that their parents are always ready to bail them out or fight whoever offends their children be it in school or elsewhere. The chaos in the world is so much and it won\’t stop so for how long will you bail your child out of every situation? You need to equip them with this skill to withstand any pressure that comes.

6 . Values: Values are one of the necessities of life. It is a structure on which families are built. Values guide one\’s thoughts, words, and actions. However, it is not all about creating values but how you run with them.

7 . Learnability and self-development skills: It starts with you. What and how you model yourself to your children is important. Teach them how to develop themselves. Educate them on the importance of being open to learning and discovering.

8 . Initiative and entrepreneurship skills: It doesn\’t matter if your child will be an entrepreneur or not. What matters is that your child will be able to build initiative and entrepreneurship in their journey because that\’s what the changing world will look like. It’s not going to be about going to school, getting good grades, and securing a good job to take care of their immediate family.

9 . Assessing and analyzing information skills: If your children can\’t assess and analyze information and take the important ones, then it will be a problem. In this changing world, they should be able to study and scrutinize information, decide the ones that will be of benefit, and when they will make use of the information because the internet is filled with a mirage of information.

10 . Curiosity and imagination skills: A child who can\’t be imaginative or ask questions based on what he can build from his inside will be a consumer for life. Many parents say that the reason why they allow their children on social media is to learn tech. I laugh because social media doesn\’t teach tech and they can\’t learn tech on social media rather they become social media-savvy children. They can\’t learn on social media because they are stuck to what others are offering and won\’t have the opportunity to become creative.

Parents, the future is 30 years and what will come will come. You can\’t wish or pray it away. Stop thinking about time and think about your role in humanity. That is what it means to equip your child for the future.
To thrive in a changing world, academic competence alone will fail your child. The changing world is no more demanding that. Do not let them become mediocre and believe that normal is okay. Encourage them to pursue for more.

ONLY 4 DAYS TO GO and the 2023 Cohort of the Inner Circle program of the TIP Academy will take off.You snooze you miss! Inner Circle Program 2023 Cohort is about to begin with a bang. Are you already in the Yard? Or still on the waiting list? OVER 1,500 incoming yarders are already getting ready and set for the induction baptism.

Remember you will only get access if you have completed your fees and filled your authentication forms. We will shut down registration soon. TIP is the EXPECTATION
Looking forward to working with thousands of families this year . Are you in already?

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE INNER CIRCLE

1. HOW MUCH DOES THIS COST?

The annual subscription fee for the program is N70, 000 . You book a slot at the enquiry desk with a non-refundable fee of N5,000 for 2023 cohort, and pay your annual fee of N65,000 which you can decide to pay at once N70,000

2 . CAN I PAY ON INSTALLMENTS?

Yes, after the initial non-refundable fee of N5,000, you can spread the fee through the year (2-3 installments) but you must have completed payment before we resume on 1st December 2022.

3 . CAN MY SPOUSE ENROLL?

Yes couple fee is N120,000 instead of N140,000 (Registration inclusive), so you get to save N20,000 as a couple, because we want to encourage couples to go on this journey together.

4 . DO WE STILL HAVE SLOTS?

We currently have slots booked to over 80% of our capacity, and we will stop registration as soon as max our capacity. Slots are filling up quickly, so jump on-board now.

5 . HOW DO I MAKE PAYMENT?

Simply book by using this link https://selar.co/tipinnercircle or make direct payment to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy, then send a chat with proof of payment to 08129687040.

When it comes to sexual purity and raising teenagers, parents tend to give their children the load of becoming sexually pure, forgetting that raising sexually pure teenagers first begins non-verbally.

It\’s not about what you say, it\’s about what you are not saying. It is about the things that you are doing around your home. It is about you as an individual, and what you are going to be able to offer. Do you know that your value system will play a significant role in how sexually pure your child will be as they reach adulthood?

Parents are the most influential persons in their child\’s life so their behavior, and their attitude about sex both spoken and unspoken will be imprinted in the life of their children.

Most times purity is mistaken for virginity but there\’s a huge difference. Purity is a higher level of virginity because some people are impure in their way of life and most people isolate themselves when the issue of purity comes up. In commemorating World Sexual Purity Day, we\’ll look at ways in which raising sexually pure teens starts with you.

Simply put, purity is a state of cleanliness, a state of not being contaminated in terms of your thoughts, actions, and words. Purity is a lifestyle. It is also a decision one takes and can be handed to the next generation.
The lack of purity in a home can affect the children, their peers, and the family system, and then the world becomes a terrible place. Because most parents were raised to be hypocritical, they tend to teach sexual purity as burdensome, and it\’s one of the challenges. When you make it all about sex and do not infuse fun content while talking to teenagers, you\’ll throw them off because some of them are not sexually active. Remember, sexual purity isn\’t all about sex!

What Ways Can You Teach Sexual Purity to Your Teens?

For you to go about it the right way and manner, you need to first know your perspective on purity. I always tell the parents in the inner circle that as a parent, you are the curriculum when it comes to sex education/purity. Purity is a lifestyle, it shows in our day-to-day activities. Below are some other ways by which you can influence and educate your teen.

1 . Conversation: When talking or \”gisting\” with your children, find a way to educate and inform them about purity/ sex education. Most times parents believe that sex education should be just for girls and that\’s why boys are isolated. Purity is for both genders. Also, let your children know that it\’s your responsibility to assist them and not live or control their lives. It is advisable not to lay accusations on them based on your assumptions.

2 . The People you follow on social media: Recall that purity is a lifestyle. Your children are observing and taking note of the people you admire for their lifestyle matters. They are observing and taking note of the people you follow, cheer on, and like their posts. When what you say doesn\’t comply with what you do, they\’ll tag you as a hypocrite.

4 . Value system: Value is a concept in which much is said but little is understood and done. Your values reveal your priorities. The core of every family, society, or nation lies in its value system. Who you appreciate on social media or the people in your circle are part of your value system. It shows your children who you cherish or hold in high esteem.

5 . Dress Sense and Choice of Songs: There\’s a saying that goes, \”you are addressed based on how you dress.” As a parent, you don\’t do as you wish, you are your child\’s role model and sometimes we think that our children are not old enough to dissect our lifestyle. Do not wear revealing clothes all in the name of being \”sexy” or applauding a \”celebrity” who dresses scantily all in the name of \”wokeness”

Recently, the lyrics of some secular songs are nothing to write home about and as a parent, when you sing along and nod to the rhythm of the song, be mindful of the fact that you have unconsciously disempowered your child.

6 . Ability to analyze events or circumstances judiciously : How do you handle matters especially when thrown at you by your teenager? For instance, your child can ask for your opinion on the issue of baby mama which is rampant in society. Remember, that your children will hold you accountable for every piece of information or opinion you give out. Sometimes, they are guided by it.

SEX EDUCATE YOUR CHILD LIKE A PRO

When I wrote the first volume of this book, I realized that knowledge around this conversation is so fluid and if parents are not updated on it, we will miss it with our children. I see that one of the most disempowering things we teach children about this conversation everywhere is in private part and public part conversations.

I have attended classes where it was taught, and as I journeyed through learning on this subject, I realized that part of the reason we have the rate of molestation we have on children is this teaching on “Private part and Public part” teaching in sex conversation.

This was when we committed to teaching Sex conversations in a way that will benefit the children we are raising in the culture today. So every year in the academy, we are given to research what has changed, why it’s changing, and how our children can be equipped.

SEX EDUCATE YOUR CHILD LIKE A PRO VOLUME 2 is here because of that research.

In this volume 2 , I shared what we call the 10 self-concepts of sex conversations. No, it’s not written anywhere else ever. It’s only in this book. This book is like gold to us in the TIP system because it’s one of those books that is given. This book will be launched in only 11 days.

Have you preordered your copy? It’s going to be launched alongside two of my other best sellers; RAISING INDEPENDENT THINKING CHILD and HOW TO LOVE YOUR CHILD MORE.

We have Over 2,000 copies of my upcoming books; Raising Independent Thinking child, Sex Educate Like A Pro (Volume 2), and How To Love Your Child More have been preordered. Of these books already preordered.Remember, you can preorder and get access to the bonus offers which include:

1. Saving 5,500 on discount on all the books.
2. Free copy of Workbook of How to love your child more worth 5,000.
3. Access to the Love your child more challenge worth N20,000.
4. 3 Masterclasses worth 60,000.
5. A webinar worth 25,000.

So you get a Total of N115,500 FREE just by preordering the three books. You get your copies by the 30th of November, the launch date.

Please Note: Books will sell at the original price of 5,000 each after the preorder is closed and we will close preorders as soon as we hit 3,000 copies.

Click to Learn More About The Inner Circle Here

One of the biggest tragedies of parenting is going on the parenting journey without acquiring and developing the needed skills.To parent in this day and age, you need to develop these 10 skills that will be mentioned in this blog post and they must become part and parcel of you.

We are now parenting Generation Z, Generation Alpha, and Generation Beta who are the generation that are being born today and this is not a walk in the park.

In this blog post, we\’ll be looking at the 10 skills every parent needs to thrive in 2023. I also shared these skills in one of my upcoming books titled \” Raising an independent thinking child ” when you read that book you will understand why you need to acquire these skills and how you can teach them to your children. Raising the independent thinking child book both comes as skills and tools to help you on your journey.

10 SKILLS EVERY 21ST-CENTURY and PARENT NEEDS TO THRIVE IN 2023.

1 . Failure and Resilience skills: In the words of Oliver Goldsmith \”True greatness doesn\’t lie in never failing but in rising every time you fail” but I say that you do not fail when you think you have failed, you only fail when you do not know what to do with failure. I teach parents in our inner circle program that failure is a tool in parenting. There is every possibility that your children will fail but if you stop them from failing then they can\’t become independent thinkers. Unfortunately, many of us protect our kids so much because we do not want them to fail or experience failure but we often forget that failure equips children with adversity skills.

There\’s a quote by Walt Disney that I like. It states that \”there are evil things too,you do not do your child a favor by trying to shield him from the realities of life. The important thing is to teach your child that good will always triumph over evil.” Teach them the skills that are required because if you don\’t teach them these skills and continue to protect them, you\’ll have struggling children. They need failure and resilience skills. Failure is never the end but a tool.

2 . Self-learning skills: With the surge of information that\’s on the increase, it\’s a greater problem managing irrelevant knowledge than acquiring knowledge. A lot of parents surf the internet for knowledge but the problem lies in managing the knowledge because there are lots of misleading information. The best way to go about it is to develop self-learning skills. It gives you the ability to see and put things together. You can develop this skill by being in an accountability system where you acquire meaningful knowledge because the more you acquire meaningful knowledge, the more you\’ll be able to sift the ones that are not desirable. You\’ll be able to distinguish the relevant and irrelevant information.

3 . Positive Attitude Skills : If you are going to parent a child today , you will need to learn the skill to be positive, life is about skills. Most parents paint a picture of gloom, hopelessness and doom as the consequence of change. The reason why you give your children false information is because of a lack of knowledge. The Bible says that wisdom and knowledge shall be the stability of our times. If you don\’t have wisdom and knowledge, you\’ll struggle and not be stable. Positivity helps us overcome challenges with skills, convictions, foresight, and joy, our children will still encounter many changes.

4 . Participative, Collaborative and Compassionate Skills: The world nurtures individual talents and collective intelligence. Who are the people around you? Have you heard of the saying? \” you are a product of people that are around you” In the inner circle, the structure helps you to nurture and scale your collective intelligence when it comes to parenting. When you see what someone has shared, you can take it, use the knowledge shared when you have a problem, and then become more intelligent. Collective intelligence helps you to build you and your child\’s intelligence. It will also help you take away the overprotection you have over your child and begin to teach the child to build social skills.

Ask About The Inner Circle Here

5 . Skills to Understand, Manage, Accept and Work With Change: Do you have the skills to understand, manage, accept and work with change? We are averse to learning because of the way we were raised, many of us were only raised to read books and pass. Many have not read any books since they came out of school. Learning is constant and as you learn, you understand, and accept things but not all then put into consideration, the change. For example, in the next 20-30 years, we\’ll have more gay parents than we\’ve ever had in the world. You might not approve of it just like I don\’t but how prepared are you to accept the change? God forbid it or it\’s not my portion are not parenting plans and will never be. You need to learn the skills to understand, manage, accept, and work with change because the 21st century is marked by fast changes. Managing changes is one of the critical skills parents must learn so that their children don\’t miss out.

6 . Emotional Intelligence skills: The importance of emotional intelligence skills cannot be overemphasized in the 21st century. Infact, the focus is shifting from Intelligence Quotient (IQ) to Emotional Quotient (EQ) , If you do not have EQ as a parent, you\’ll be lost. As a parent, you can\’t apply the method by which you were raised with to this era of the 21st century. Change is constant and if you don\’t understand it, you\’ll be left behind.

7 . Creativity, Engagement, and Innovative Skills : These skills involve taking risks, making mistakes that you can use as tools to help your kids. It also entails becoming creative with your disciplinary strategy and effectively engaging your children. Parenting today is all about innovation and you can\’t keep doing whatever you want and expect different results.

9 .Observation, Facilitation, and Empowerment Skills: Many parents have not developed these skills because they have held on to hitting and yelling at their kids. They just observe but can\’t facilitate what you have observed and can\’t empower rather they react and disempower. The reason for disempowering is that you can\’t facilitate, i.e get the necessary knowledge in parenting. For instance, in my book, \”sex educate your child like a pro” I shared that telling your child that the penis and vagina are private parts while other parts are public parts is disempowering your child. When someone touches them at places labeled as public parts, they see it as nothing. Sex doesn\’t start with the \”private parts” and that\’s where we miss it. Your role as a parent is to facilitate growth from all angles. You can do so by (a) observing (b) mentoring/modeling (c) a positive environment for knowledge (d) providing moral support in times of crisis because that\’s when your child needs to support the most. The blame game isn\’t needed (e) acting as a torch bearer in their path to fulfilling their purpose. You are the guardian and doing the work of God as a parent.

10 . Discipline skills: Most of us can\’t discipline our children because we don\’t have the skills. The ugly part is that in the times in which we are if you don\’t learn discipline skills and then discipline wrongly, your children will find people who will bear them up in the wrong way because the devil we are dealing with is much more than you can imagine.

11 . Connection skills: You need to learn how to connect to your child. If you don\’t connect with themtoday, you can never connect with them tomorrow. That\’s why in the inner circle, we don\’t leave the connection to chance. We create the connection tools and it\’s so good because we use them to get into the heart of our children and it works wonders.

12 . Spiritual skills. When I talk about spiritual skills, I don\’t mean going to church, (don’t misunderstand me)going to church and being among the brethren is good but there\’s much more to spiritual learning. A lot of us have not learned this skill and that\’s why you run from pillar to post looking for signs and wonders. In the inner circle, levels 2, 3, and 4 will be doing spiritual skills as a common topic and I look forward to it because they get to learn more about spiritual intelligence. Some of people do not know how to connect with God because their lack spiritual intelligence. For every human being, there\’s a connection with God and that\’s why different prophets operated differently with God in the Bible.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE INNER CIRCLE

 HOW MUCH DOES THIS COST?

The annual subscription fee for the program is N70, 000 .

You book a slot at the enquiry desk with a non-refundable fee of N5,000 for 2023 cohort, and pay your annual fee of N65,000 which you can decide to pay at once N70,000

 CAN I PAY ON INSTALLMENTS?

Yes, after the initial non-refundable fee of N5,000, you can spread the fee through the year (2-3 installments) but you must have completed payment before we resume on 1st December 2022.

 CAN MY SPOUSE ENROLL?

Yes couple fee is N120,000 instead of N140,000 (Registration inclusive), so you get to save N20,000 as a couple, because we want to encourage couples to go on this journey together.

 DO WE STILL HAVE SLOTS?

We currently have slots booked to over 80% of our capacity, and we will stop registration as soon as max our capacity. Slots are filling up quickly, so jump on-board now.

 HOW DO I MAKE PAYMENT?

Simply book by using this link https://selar.co/tipinnercircle or make direct payment to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy, then send a chat with proof of payment to 08129687040.

MY INTENTIONAL PARENTING JOURNEY SERIES

This month we started a series where parents in the inner circle have been sharing their journey and how their lives have been transformed by being in the academy. It’s been all shades of amazing and awesome.

You can now access all the conversations in one place.

Everyone Grab your popcorn and enjoy our Parenting Netflix. Don’t forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel and also share with family and friends.