Does every sibling experience rivalry? The answer is yes. How we handle sibling rivalry is one of the biggest challenges of parenting.

This blog post will help you understand the root causes of sibling rivalry and provide real-life solutions to help you manage it effectively.Many parents assume that rivalry will resolve itself over time, but this is rarely the case. Think about your extended family—did you notice rivalry among your parents and their siblings? How were these conflicts resolved? Most likely, they were handled haphazardly, without proper knowledge or tools. This is often because children are not taught how to resolve conflicts effectively.

Reflect on your marriage—how do you resolve conflicts with your spouse? Many people struggle with conflict resolution, either by shouting or resorting to silent treatment. Sibling rivalry is common, but it’s not normal. Understanding how to manage it is crucial for a healthy family dynamic.One of the key things you must understand is that sibling rivalry is a core part of your parenting journey.

What Are the Common Causes of Sibling Rivalry?

1. Competition: Siblings often compete for parental attention, resources, and achievement. Every child desires their parents’ attention, and they may even fight with a sibling to get it. I often say that for children, negative attention is better than no attention at all. Parents must recognize that attention is like food for a child—they crave it constantly.

– Parents are frequently a significant factor in sibling rivalry. Children compete for resources (e.g., who gets what and when) and for achievements (e.g., who is “better” in the eyes of mom and dad). If you create situations that encourage competition, it can worsen sibling dynamics. Many siblings are envious of one another. Think of the story of Joseph, who was envied by his brothers simply because of a dream that portrayed him as their future leader. 2. Personality Clashes: Differences in temperament, interests, and communication styles can fuel sibling rivalry. Many parents fail to recognize that each child comes with their own unique blueprint. Trying to raise two children using the same approach often leads to conflict because each child has their own “rule of law.”

– Understanding each child’s temperament, learning style, and personality is critical to effective parenting. In the sibling mentorship program, parents learn to create a system where siblings can learn from each other, which helps reduce negative competitiveness and pressure. It’s essential to foster an environment where communication is respectful and not aggressive.

3. Developmental Stages: Children often don’t understand what they or their siblings are going through at different developmental stages, which can lead to conflict. The key to managing this is knowledge. As a parent, you need to understand what’s happening and be able to explain it to your children.

– For example, explaining to your son what your pubescent daughter is going through during her period can reduce conflict significantly. The same goes for explaining to your daughter what your pubescent son is experiencing. Helping your children see things from their sibling’s perspective can drastically reduce conflicts.

4. Modelling Behaviour: The way adults behave in the family strongly influences how children interact with each other. How do you talk to the people in your home—your partner, your nanny, your driver, even your children? Your children will model that behaviour when interacting with their siblings.

– Many parents inadvertently empower older children to bully younger ones, replicating what they’ve seen at home. Remember that an older sibling is not a parent. Giving parental responsibilities to an older sibling can create resentment and lead to long-term conflict. Avoid creating a dynamic where one child holds power over another, as this can foster sibling abuse and lifelong resentment.

5. Family Dynamics: When parents exhibit poor conflict resolution skills, children may mimic those behaviours. If your home is filled with shouting and unresolved conflict, your children will likely adopt that behaviour. Conflict resolution is a learned skill, and it’s one that your children need to see in action. – Disagreements are normal, but rivalry isn’t. Understanding conflict resolution allows you to handle disagreements without escalating them into fights. Your children need to see you managing conflicts calmly, using your mind over your mood. This teaches them how to resolve their own conflicts.

Practical Solutions

Many parents try to resolve sibling rivalry by playing referee during every conflict. But constantly stepping in to mediate isn’t the solution. Both parents and children need tools and strategies to manage conflict independently.

Here are some steps you can take:-

1. Identify Common Triggers: What are the typical reasons your children fight? How do you currently respond? Once you’ve identified these, you can create a family agreement worksheet to establish clear rules and expectations for resolving conflicts. 2. Emotional Regulation Toolkit: Teach your children calm-down techniques to manage their emotions before conflicts escalate. 3. Problem-Solving Worksheet: Use this to brainstorm solutions and practice decision-making with your children. 4. Sibling Bonding Activities: Engage your children in activities that promote bonding and reduce existing rivalry. 5. Sibling Strength Worksheet: Help your children see the strengths in each other, eliminating envy and promoting cooperation. 6.Parenting Self-Assessment: Reflect on your parenting habits. Do you have a favourite child? How do you resolve conflicts? Understanding your own behaviours is key to improving your children’s relationships.- 1.Family Conflict Resolution Plan: Develop a structured approach to conflict resolution, teaching your children the importance of resolving disagreements peacefully. 2. Praise and Reward Chart: Use this to reward positive behaviours and reinforce good habits, like resolving conflicts calmly and respecting each other’s boundaries. 3. Journaling : Encourage your children to write about what they appreciate in their siblings, and how they felt during conflicts. This will help them reflect on their behaviour and take ownership of their actions. 4. Sibling Mentorship System: Teach your children to be mentors to each other rather than competitors. By fostering a mentorship dynamic, you create an environment where siblings support each other’s growth instead of tearing each other down. 5. Family Negotiation Skills: Help your children learn how to negotiate fairly, identify conflicts, and brainstorm solutions together. All of these strategies will be included in the worksheets provided in the Academy’s brand-new course on sibling rivalry. Enrolling in this course will equip you with the knowledge and tools you need to manage sibling rivalry effectively. Sign up for the course in October, and start implementing these strategies in your family immediately!

IIf sibling rivalry is turning your home into a battleground, our Dealing with Sibling Rivalry course is exactly what you need! We’ve designed this course to help you transform constant conflicts into opportunities for growth and deeper connection between your children.

For just ₦7,500 (instead of ₦20,500), you’ll gain access to:

– 14 practical worksheets and tools

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Our children have many opportunities in life. Unfortunately, too often, we focus on raising them just to pass exams. Exams are important, but there are so many more skills and experiences your children need to prepare for the world. Raising a child to understand how the world works is one of the best gifts you can give them. If you’re raising a child without teaching them how the world operates, you’re setting them up for a life of struggle. I’ve seen children who were raised by parents that prioritized obedience over independence; as adults, these children struggled when faced with the realities of life because they weren’t taught how to navigate the world. One common mistake parents make is aiming to create a perfect human being, which simply isn’t possible. No child will ever be perfect, yet many parents are obsessed with this idea, focusing solely on raising well-behaved children.

I once had a parent tell me that she didn’t need any parenting guidance because her children were well-behaved. They didn’t talk back, question her, or say no. While that may sound ideal, I was genuinely concerned for her children because she had essentially raised children who couldn’t think for themselves. A child who cannot think becomes a burden. Good behavior is important, but it’s possible to have a well-behaved child who lacks wisdom. Foolishness is the opposite of wisdom, and a child who doesn’t know how to navigate the world will lack common sense. Think about the biblical story of the ten virgins; five were foolish, even though they were virgins. The truth is, being “good” isn’t enough to make an impact in the world, because goodness alone is not a skill, and no one rewards you for simply being good.

Our children will encounter many gates of opportunity throughout their lives. The question is: are they ready for these gates to be opened? As a parent, you are both the protector and the gatekeeper for your child. The wall you build around them offers protection, but the gates represent opportunities for them to step out and test their readiness to live beyond that protection. When you eventually bring down the wall and open the gate, will your child be able to survive? Each gate is an opportunity for your child to explore and exercise their growing independence. In our inner circle, we call this the “parenting launch plan,” which ensures that you are preparing your child for each opportunity as it arises. These gates should be opened by you, not by your child, and only when they are ready. The Bible speaks of children answering the enemy at the gate; are your children prepared to do that?

The rules of the gate include:

• The gate must be opened by you, not by the child. If a child opens the gate too soon, they may be overwhelmed.
• Gates are privileges, not rights. They are earned based on your parenting system, not simply because a child reaches a certain age.
• Gates should be opened based on the child’s readiness and the opportunities available, not by a fixed timeline.
• The golden gates are often the most tempting, but they require preparation and discipline to navigate successfully.

How to Prepare Your Child for the World

1. Give Them Responsibility and Accountability
   One of the biggest challenges I see is that many children enter university unprepared because they’ve never had to demonstrate full responsibility for their lives and choices. Some parents, when faced with their children’s poor behavior in boarding school, refuse to take responsibility or blame the school. Many parents have created environments where their children are not held accountable for anything. Stop blaming the school and start holding your child accountable.
2. Let Them Fail
   Failure is a crucial tool in parenting. Stop protecting your child from failure. Allowing them to fail teaches them valuable life lessons. Adversity and failure are essential parts of the growth process. Failure is not the end, but rather a necessary step towards success. When we embrace failure as part of the journey, we help our children understand that setbacks are not permanent. If we constantly seek progress without going through the process, we hinder our children’s growth. Children who avoid challenges and only focus on success will struggle in the future. Anyone who wishes to become gold must first pass through the fire, so don’t deprive your child of that experience.
3. Teach Them Problem-Solving Skills
   Teach your children how to solve their own problems, rather than solving their problems for them. Show them how to think, not just what to think. Decision-making is a skill, and your children need to learn to make decisions by considering the pros and cons, incentives, goals, and values involved. Instead of rushing to rescue them when they make a mistake, allow them to figure out how to clean up the mess. Solving problems for your children may feel helpful in the short term, but it ultimately stunts their development.
4. Prepare Them for Life Management
   Life management includes time management, money management, and decision-making. If your child’s first experience handling money is after they’ve left home, or if their first independent decision comes when they’re away from you, you’ve done them a disservice. Time management is life management; if your child can’t manage their time, they won’t be able to manage their life effectively.
5. Encourage Other Types of Intelligence
   We often focus solely on building our children’s IQ by encouraging them to study, pass exams, and achieve academic success. However, we neglect other types of intelligence like adversity quotient, social quotient, cultural quotient, and spiritual quotient. These are just as important. For example, being culturally intelligent can be a game changer. I know someone who has held a position for eight years that no one else could hold for more than two, simply because of his cultural intelligence. Culture is about understanding the rules of the land, and it’s crucial that your children learn how to relate to people from different cultures. Each environment has its own rules, and your children must learn to navigate these different systems to succeed.

The School Gate

One of the gates you must consider is the school gate. School is an incredible gateway of opportunity, with growing responsibilities and freedoms as the years pass. Schools present a unique challenge: they offer your child the chance to choose friends and make decisions without your supervision. Different schools present different temptations at different levels. The good news is, there are always options. The best way to guard this gate is by getting involved in the school system and understanding how to maximize the opportunities it presents. Don’t leave your child’s education to chance; be proactive in guiding them through this gateway.

By following these steps, you’ll be preparing your child not just for exams, but for the challenges and opportunities they’ll face in the real world.

Day 2: of the Back to School Master Class

“Thank you so much, Coach Omolola, for the incredible session!

What stood out the most was the focus on spiritual preparation. I used to pray only on the morning of school resumption, but now I’ve started praying and fasting for the new school year from the start of the holidays. My children have joined in with their own prayers and have prayer points for the term, which we review weekly.

We’ve also developed daily affirmations to say before they head to school. Thank you, Inner Circle Mama @Coach Wendy, for guiding us on this journey.” — Participant

“My biggest takeaway is realizing that God communicates with us! It felt like a revelation hitting me from Heaven. I’ve been blessed with a divine blueprint for my children, but I’m learning that being part of TIP means I must do my part excellently. Despite having divine guidance, I needed to step up my actions. Thank you, Coach Wendy, for making this clarity possible through TIP!”— Participant —

Weren’t able to join us for Day 2? there’s still time to catch up and gain these valuable insights! Replays are available, and it’s not too late to be part of this transformative journey. Secure your access at the special rate of #6,999 ($7) Want to join? Reach out to our team at +234 903 663 3600 for more details.

Sometimes, I hear parents tell me what they plan to do for their children to attain academic success, and the things I hear are usually negative. This blog post will reveal to you the things you would never do and the things you should begin to do to position your child for academic success.

Things You Should not be Doing as You Prepare Your Child for Academic Success

1. Overemphasis on perfection: many times, when we talk about what we want for our children academically, we go with the expectation that we want our children to be the trophy children. In the mind of many parents, every one of their children is a trophy child, and so they want to make their children into trophy children. This is the reason for parents pushing pressure when they do things like paying for exams or “miracle centres.” It also serves the ego of the parent when parents brag about the performance of their children in their exams. This will never help a child plus that’s a wrong way to motivate children to excel academically. Doing this means that you are pushing the perfection narrative, thereby creating unnecessary stress while also hindering the confidence that the child should have. There is increased anxiety, there is increased fear of failure. One of the advantages you can give to your child as a parent is to have expectations from your child. Yes because it has been proven that children with high parental expectations perform better. Nonetheless, the problem we have is being able to balance the expectations so that it’s without pressure. You can have high expectations as a parent without creating those undue pressures that could kill the child. Note that it is a parenting advantage to create high expectations for your children and communicate with them; however, you must ensure that your expectation is communicating the right thing. One of the problems is that you create expectations but you have no system put in place for your child to achieve it. I’m not referring to the system of extramural lessons but the skills that you have impacted the child. While expectations are great, overemphasis on perfection will make it ineffective. Expectations are not about perfection, nor about progress, but about process. Encourage your children to advance and grow at their own pace. When we set expectations, we offer our children the opportunity to meet challenges with confidence. Apart from these, all you’ll be doing is putting undue pressure on the child. I am not saying that you should not have expectations of your children. If you don’t, you will make a mess of the process. Parental expectations are one of the most important things your child needs to succeed in school. Choosing perfection can often cloud the joy of learning.
2. Neglecting emotional and social needs. Ignoring the social and emotional needs of your child can affect their academic success. Some parents find that their child, who had been an A-grade child in primary school, gets to secondary and begins to struggle. The first question I ask is, “How old is the child?” This is because there is a lot of pressure that comes to underage children in school. It is an act of wickedness to take a child who is underage into a class they are not supposed to be in. They may not even struggle academically, but they have real emotional pressures. Some of these children end up withdrawing or they lack motivation.
3. Inconsistent routines and expectations. Once you have inconsistent routines, don’t expect academic success. Many times, when school resumes, parents tend to take away the children’s chores and other routines at home because of the academic workload. You must understand, however, that consistency is the bedrock of academic success. You don’t need to be smart-headed to make a first class. All you need is structures and routines. This is so because a structured environment fosters growth. An inconsistent routine leads to disorganisation and missed opportunities. It’s also the reason you yell in the morning – inconsistent routines and inconsistent expectations. Children thrive in predictability, not inconsistency. I say that unpredictability is the enemy of parenting – it causes chaos.
4. Overloading extracurricular activities. Excessive after-school activities lead to a child being burnt out and can impact negatively on their academic process. You don’t need extra lessons for your child to excel. Some skills need to be built into the child that will make that happen. Overloading the child will make them lack important skills like social skills which they need to make money later in life. It causes stress, fatigue and decreased focus on even the school activities.

What do you do

1. Set clear expectations and goals. Remember that expectations are an important part of your journey, and ensure you communicate these expectations. Don’t just stay and assume that your children know your expectations. Sit down and outline these expectations – study habits, time management, what to learn and so on. Our parents had expectations of us, and that was brilliant, but, the problem was communication of the expectations. It wasn’t there.
2. Foster strong communication skills. Ensure you have a relationship with the teachers and that your children have an open system of dialogue with you. Until you start asking your child the right questions, their performance might remain where it is. Get involved in your child’s school activities in different ways.
3. Teach study skills. Beginning with maths skills, your children need to learn to do well in maths and become great problem solvers; we have time management, mental arithmetic, numeracy skills, quantitative reasoning and critical thinking skills. Instead of giving children more maths to solve, your question should be, “How do I improve maths skills?” focus on the core concepts of mathematical skills and logical reasoning. Introduce your children to study skills no matter their age. Improve the study system of your child and your child will improve – in every area. Instead of working for your child to improve, work with them. Teach them how to break big tasks into smaller tasks and how to get things done without being overwhelmed. Desist from scaffolding your child. Teach them the right skills to thrive in the world. We are no longer in the industrial era where school certificate is everything, we are now in the knowledge era. Therefore you need to understand how to revolutionise your child’s schooling to align with the era we are in. If not, your child will struggle.

Join the back to school masterclass 4.0 as we delve deeper into these topics. You’d learn how to choose your child’s school, how to build their study skills and so much more.

BACK TO SCHOOL MASTERCLASS IS HERE!!!

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Oh Yes! Here are benefits attached: 1. Free New Parent-Teacher Guide ( Worth #2,000) 2. Free Parent-Teacher Master Class- Reviewed (worth #10,000) 3. The complete Back to School Bundle ( worth #10,000). And that’s not all. You don’t want to miss our: • BACK TO SCHOOL AFFIRMATION PACK • PARENT SCHOOL SUPPORT TEMPLATE • SCHOOL ROUTINE PLANNER • MEAL PLANNER and More what are you waiting for? REGISTER NOW To enjoy BACK to SCHOOL packages:

How To Register: PAY #6,999($7) to 0509494057 (GT BANK), THE INTENTIONAL PARENT ACADEMY. Make sure you send proof of payment via whatsapp to +234 703 639 3160 or 0903 663 3600 Or Complete registration online using this link https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/BacktoSchool2024Why This Bundle? This bundle is more than just a set of tools—it’s your roadmap to a well-organized, stress-free, and successful school year. Whether you’re preparing your child for their first day of school, transitioning to boarding school, or simply looking to streamline your daily routines, this bundle has you covered.

When you think about the new academic year, academics might come to mind first. However, there’s much more to consider in preparing your child for the upcoming school year. Many parents feel confused about how to approach this transition, often focusing solely on educational aspects.

Preparation can provide a significant advantage. It’s crucial to view the new school year from your child’s perspective, considering their anxiety about new classes, teachers, and expectations. Here’s a comprehensive guide to help you prepare your child effectively.

Aspects to Consider for the New School Year

1.Academic Success

2. Social Success

3. Emotional Success

4. Health

5.Chores and Responsibilities

1. Academic Success:
   Academic preparation should start as soon as the previous school year ends. Here’s how to set your child up for academic success:-
   i. Evaluate School Choice:
   Ensure the school fits your child’s learning style. A good school might not be the best for your child if it doesn’t support their specific needs. For example, a kinesthetic learner may struggle in a school lacking physical activity opportunities.
   ii. Create an Effective Study Environment: Establish a study area at home that supports your child’s learning style. Even a small reading corner can make a difference. Ensure your home has books and resources to stimulate learning.
   iii. Reduce Morning Chaos:Use the 5s of discipline—structures, systems, schedules, skills, and strategies—to create a smooth morning routine. Avoid yelling, as it disrupts your child’s ability to learn and start the day positively.
2. Social Success :Social success is as important as academic success. Prepare your child to thrive socially by:- Encouraging Friendships: Facilitate social interactions through playdates and group activities. Ii. Developing Social Skills:Teach your child empathy, effective communication, and conflict resolution.
3. Emotional Success: Support your child’s emotional well-being by:- i.Fostering Open Communication: Create a supportive environment where your child feels comfortable sharing their feelings. ii. Building Resilience: Equip your child with coping strategies to handle stress and setback.
4. Health: Health plays a critical role in your child’s overall success. Ensure your child:-. i. Gets Adequate Sleep:Aim for at least 8 hours of sleep per night. ii. Maintains a Nutritious Diet:Incorporate whole grains and proteins to enhance cognitive function and learning.
5. Chores and Responsibilities: Maintaining a balance of chores and responsibilities is essential. Ensure your child:- i. Handles Chores: Keep chores as part of their routine to teach responsibility and time management.- ii. Manages Time Effectively:Teach time management skills to balance their studies and responsibilities
6. Maintaining Overall Success
   : Ensure continuous success by:- i.Teaching Organizational Skills:
   Help your child organize their space and materials effectively. ii. Understanding School Policies: Familiarize yourself with the school’s disciplinary policies to avoid conflicts and ensure alignment with your values. iii.Staying Involved: Participate in PTA meetings and school events. Your active involvement shows your child that education is important and strengthens your connection with them.

Preparing your child for the new academic year involves much more than focusing on academics alone. By addressing their social, emotional, and physical needs, you can help them transition smoothly and succeed throughout the year. Start preparing early, stay engaged, and remember that your involvement plays a crucial role in your child’s overall success.

To join the BACK TO SCHOOL MASTER CLASS:- Pay #6,999 ($7) instead of #20,000 ($20) to 0509494057 (GT Bank), The Intentional Parent Academy.

Send proof of payment via WhatsApp to +234 703 639 3160 or 0903 663 3600.ONLY VALID FOR A LIMITED TIME

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The holiday period can be a pivotal time for your child’s development, either propelling them forward or causing them to lose ground. In this blog post, I’ll provide you with a blueprint to create a holiday plan that ensures your child thrives not just mentally, spiritually, or behaviorally, but also academically.

A well-thought-out holiday plan can arm your child with the skills and confidence needed to excel when they return to school.

Why You Need an Intentional Holiday Plan

1. Prevent Academic or Learning Loss: Unplanned holidays often lead to a “summer slide,” where children forget what they learned during the school year. Learning is a continuous process, and your holiday plan should aim to maintain and build on what your child has already learned.

2. Strengthen Family Bonds:A strategic holiday plan can help build stronger family relationships. Activities that involve the whole family can create lasting memories and strengthen bonds.

3. Cultivate Independence and Responsibility: Independence is crucial for raising self-regulated learners. Use the holiday to teach your child to take ownership of their learning, fostering skills that will make the transition back to school smoother.

4. Expose Them to New Interests and Hobbies:The holiday is a perfect time to explore activities outside the school curriculum. New hobbies can build competence and confidence in your child.

5. Enhance Emotional and Social Skills:Activities that build resilience, adaptability, executive functioning skills, and cognitive skills can help your child thrive socially and emotionally.

6. Identifying and Addressing Learning Gaps

How to Identify Learning Gaps During The Holiday

1. Get Feedback from Teachers:Speak with your child’s teachers to identify their academic and behavioral strengths and weaknesses. Teacher feedback can be invaluable in crafting a holiday plan that addresses learning gaps.

2. Parental Observation:Pay attention to your child’s study habits and homework abilities. Note recurring challenges or areas where they lack confidence. Assess their academic performance and look for trends and patterns in their report cards and test scores.

3. Open Conversations:Encourage your child to share their perspectives on their performance. This can provide insights that help you tailor your holiday plan to their needs.

Using the Holidays to Target Learning Gaps

1. Set Clear Goals:Decide what you want to achieve during the holiday. Whether it’s improving numeracy skills, literacy skills, or creative writing, set specific, achievable goals.

2. Daily Reading Routine:If your child struggles with English comprehension, establish a daily reading routine. Expose them to various genres and encourage regular writing practice.

3. Math Skills Practice:Use age-appropriate apps and worksheets to practice basic operations. Integrate math into daily activities like cooking, budgeting, and shopping to make learning fun and practical.

4. Problem-Solving Skills:Invest in puzzles, logic games, and activities like Sudoku to enhance analytical and critical thinking skills.

5. Science Exploration:Introduce your child to STEM concepts through DIY experiments and everyday phenomena. Encourage curiosity and hands-on learning.

6. Social Skills Development:Create a social roadmap with playdates, group projects, and other social activities to help your child build social skills.

7. Physical Activity:Include plenty of outdoor play and exploration. Activities like running, jumping, and skipping enhance neural connections in the brain and promote overall physical health.

8. Creating a ScheduleTo bring all these elements together, it’s crucial to create a structured schedule. Consider purchasing the ultimate holiday bundle from the academy to learn how to create a schedule that suits your family’s needs.

9. Improving Memory:- Use matching games and memory games.- Incorporate storytelling and repetition.- Engage in arts and crafts to improve fine motor skills and handwriting.

10. Physical Activities:- Include gross motor activities that promote physical and neural development.The back-to-school masterclass offered by the academy can provide more detailed guidance on how to support your child’s academic and personal growth. Find details for registration here.

By being intentional with your holiday planning, you can ensure your child returns to school armed with the skills and confidence needed to succeed. Start planning today and make this holiday a time of growth and enrichment for your child.

Get Ready for a Successful School Year with Our Back to School Bundle!

As the new school year approaches, preparation is key to ensuring a smooth transition for both you and your child. That’s why we’re excited to offer our exclusive Back to School Master Class at an unbeatable price—just #6,999 ($7) instead of the regular #20,000 ($20)!

This limited-time offer is designed to equip you with all the tools you need for a successful school year.

Why Join the Back to School Master Class?When you enroll, you’ll unlock a treasure trove of resources that will make this school year your best one yet.

Here’s what you’ll receive:-

FREE New Parent-Teacher Guide (worth #2,000)

– FREE Parent-Teacher Master Class (Reviewed) (worth #10,000)

– The Complete Back to School Bundle (worth #10,000), which includes: – Back to School Affirmation Pack: Start each day with positivity and confidence.

Parent School Support Template: A handy guide to foster a strong partnership with your child’s school.

Preparing Your Child for Boarding School Template: Smooth the transition with practical tips and checklists.

School Routine Planner: Keep your family organized and on track.

School Structure Blueprint: Build a solid foundation for academic success.

Meal Planner: Ensure your child has nutritious meals every day.

Daily School Preparation Planner: Take the stress out of morning routines.

School Accountability Planner: Track progress and stay on top of school responsibilities.

30-Day Connection Tool: Strengthen your bond with your child through daily activities.

30-Day Affirmation Pack for Toddlers: Encourage your little ones with positive affirmations.

How to Register:

1. Payment Details: – Pay #6,999 ($7) to 0509494057 (GT Bank), The Intentional Parent Academy. – Send proof of payment via WhatsApp to +234 703 639 3160 or 0903 663 3600.

2. Online Registration: https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/BacktoSchool2024

When it comes to your child impacting the world, one of the major things I realized is that several people do not understand what impact means, how to raise a child for the world, and how to raise a child who will navigate the world. When parents talk about parenting goals, they say things like “I want to raise a good and obedient child.” Even though there is nothing wrong with raising a good child, yet there is everything wrong with raising a child who cannot thrive. It’s okay to say you want to raise an obedient child, but if you miss the part where that obedient child can thrive, you have missed it in parenting, which is a huge challenge for parents. One of the things that I have seen is that we don’t understand the difference between raising a child who is obedient and a child who will thrive. You can therefore raise a child who is obedient but foolish and cannot thrive.

Let us take an illustration from a favorite story in the Bible, which is the parable of the ten virgins. When people tell about foolish virgins, they talk about it from the light that the foolishness of the virgins came from not knowing what to do, but that’s not true. The story of the ten virgins is a typical example of being obedient yet unskilled because they were all prepared. The ten virgins were given what it was that they needed. It’s a story of following the rules, but the “what ifs” were not considered.

In the book Raising the Independent Thinking Child, I was talking about the “what else’s.” There is something called the “what else’s.” Your child is smart, obedient, intelligent, but what else do they bring to the table? It’s beyond “my child is brilliant,” or “my child is obedient,” or “they go to church.” There is nothing wrong with all of those things, but that’s not where it ends. That’s not a bragging right. The “what else’s” are the things that make the difference – the environment is a key factor to how you raise your children. 80 percent of who you become is linked to the environment – who raised you, how you were raised, where you were raised, and what the person who raised you knows. It’s important you look beyond what you know.

What are the determining factors in raising children who impact?

1 . The Matthew Effect: This is a key determining factor. The Matthew Effect was adapted from the book of Matthew 25:29, which says, “For everyone who has shall more be given, and he shall have in abundance; but for him that has not, that which he has shall be taken away from him.” Opportunity not fully utilized can never be gotten. Making an impact will go beyond their personality, how intelligent your child is, their lifestyle, and their inborn talent. It’s about skilling up, developing it, and grooming. Again, opportunities not fully utilized can never be gotten. You can’t get opportunities you don’t utilize. No matter how great a skill is, if it’s not nurtured and given attention, it will never blossom. That’s why the Bible talks about time and chance happening to them all. Time is the preparation; chance is the opportunity. The reason why people who have keep getting is because success is not only attributed to merit. It is the ingredient in success that makes for success. It doesn’t matter how you merit it, the world does not reward you for the things you merit; the world will only reward you for the ingredients in the success that make you successful. So, are you utilizing the opportunities that you have? The more you utilize the opportunities you have, the more you are opened up to more. That’s what the Matthew Effect is about. It is a determining factor to what your child will become, and it is also a determining factor to you. That’s why it is said that the rich keep getting rich – that is the Matthew Effect. So, your child being good doesn’t have any reward. They are not rewarded for goodness. So, there is nothing like “why do bad things happen to good people?” No. Bad things do not happen to good people. It’s not about good, but skilled. So, you see whether your child has potentials or is a good child, they’re not prerequisites for making an impact. Nobody is rewarded for their goodness. I usually say that the world is for the bold and the loud, not for the skilled and the silent. The Bible says, “Seest thou a man diligent in his business? He shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean men.” There is a seeing of your diligence. That means you can be diligent and not seen and not be rewarded because your rewarding is about the ingredients that make for success. This is what the Matthew Effect is all about. The more you’re seen, the more you’re rewarded.

Skills: This is another thing that will position your child for impact. Acquiring skills gives you influence and elevates you because you work to develop yourself and you’re seen because the system rewards you. It’s one thing to acquire skills, it is another thing to be able to make your skills known. Anything in its raw state does not have a reward until it is refined. Africa is where it is because most of our resources are unrefined. So, we export all our materials and we put it all out there, and then the people who understand how to refine get rewarded even more. Acquiring is one thing; refining it is another. Refining is a key aspect. No matter what skills or talents your child has, whether it’s playing an instrument or any other, it doesn’t end there – they’re raw skills. What is the process of being able to package it to become valuable? It is the valuability of that thing that makes it more rewarding. It is the tangibility of the skill that gets the reward. You want to raise a child that will impact, and the child has zero skills, and the skills are not even refined. Impactful people are people who give value to the world. The simple definition of impact is value. How valuable is your child?

A child who will be valuable to the world must be valuable at home. How can the things that your child has be so refined that they can be valuable? You cannot become more without being skilled. The question you need to answer is what can your child offer to the world? Going back to the five wise virgins, they were called wise because they were more skilled. They remembered the extras – they remembered to take extra oil. The foolish virgins were just as prepared as the wise. If everything had worked smoothly, they would have been called wise, but unfortunately, the world doesn’t work like that. There is something about chaos or uncertainty that makes for the world. There is something about the fluidity of the world. The child must be prepared for the world. They were called foolish because they lacked the extras, the “what else’s.” When you’re raising a child, what will make you raise impactful children are the “what else’s.” Don’t raise your child saying “everybody is doing it.” Your child is just going to turn out ordinary. There’s something extra that makes for extraordinary.

Hard Work: Smart work involves taking your time to understand the problem to get an efficient strategy and to get a workable execution plan, and this takes time. Smart work is about efficiency, not laziness, so smart work is not easy. When people say, “work smart, don’t work hard,” it’s truly an error. Stop hiding your children from adversity. There is no impactful person in the world who is not a hard worker. If you miss the part of raising children who are not smart workers, you will raise a foolish child. Hard work is key for impact making. Trying to shield your child from suffering is a big problem.

There is a line between impact and discomfort. No one makes an impact from a comfort zone. The more comfortable you are, the less impactful you become. The more comfortable you make your children, the less they’re able to add value to their society. Get them uncomfortable and let them move. For you to become gold, there is a trying and roasting. Comfort means doing everything for your toddlers. Your toddlers should be able to take away their plates after a meal; they should be able to pack their toys after use. Go and study people who raised children in royalty. Why do you think in England they send every male child from the royal family to war? What do you think they’re trying to do? Do you know what it means to train a child in the British army? Let your children do things for themselves. Anything your child can do for themselves, if you do it for them, you kill them literally.

2 . Accumulative Advantage: I call it the 10,000-hour rule. Research has proven time and again that how you achieve success is if you put in 10,000 hours. You can become an impact maker, a genius if you put in 10,000 hours into any tasks or field of endeavor. This 10,000-hour rule equals 10 years of cumulativ effort. What you consistently do over time accumulates into expertise. This principle applies to raising children who will impact the world. You must help your children find their areas of interest and encourage them to devote time and effort to develop skills in those areas. Consistent practice and dedication lead to mastery.

3. Mindset: The mindset you instill in your child is crucial. A growth mindset, which is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work, is fundamental. Teach your children to see challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than as obstacles. Encourage them to embrace failure as part of the learning process. Children with a growth mindset are more likely to persevere in the face of difficulties and achieve long-term success.

4. Emotional Intelligence: Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. This skill is essential for personal and professional success. Teach your children to recognize their emotions, express them appropriately, and develop empathy for others. Emotionally intelligent children are better equipped to build strong relationships, navigate social complexities, and lead effectively.

5. Resilience: Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity. Life is full of challenges and setbacks, and children need to learn how to cope with them effectively. Encourage your children to develop resilience by allowing them to experience failure and learn from it. Provide support and guidance, but also give them the space to solve problems on their own. Resilient children are more likely to persevere through tough times and come out stronger.

7. Values: Instilling strong values in your children is essential for guiding their behavior and decision-making. Teach them the importance of integrity, honesty, kindness, and respect. These values will help them navigate the world with a moral compass and make positive contributions to society. Discuss real-life scenarios and ethical dilemmas to help them understand how to apply these values in various situations.

8. Leadership Skills: Encourage your children to develop leadership skills. Leadership is not about being in charge; it’s about making a positive impact and inspiring others. Provide opportunities for your children to take on leadership roles, whether in school, sports, or community activities. Teach them the importance of communication, collaboration, and decision-making. Leadership skills will empower them to influence and guide others effectively.

9.Self-Discipline: Self-discipline is the ability to control impulses and stay focused on long-term goals. Help your children develop self-discipline by setting clear expectations and providing structure. Encourage them to set goals, create plans, and follow through with their commitments. Self-disciplined children are better equipped to achieve their goals and make responsible choices.

10. Creativity and Innovation: Foster creativity and innovation in your children. Encourage them to think outside the box, explore new ideas, and experiment with different solutions. Provide opportunities for creative expression through art, music, writing, or other activities. Creative children are more likely to approach problems with an open mind and come up with innovative solutions.

11. Global Awareness: In today’s interconnected world, it’s important for children to be globally aware. Teach them about different cultures, languages, and perspectives. Encourage them to be open-minded and respectful of diversity. Global awareness will help them navigate a multicultural world and make meaningful contributions on a global scale.

In conclusion, preparing your child for the world involves more than just raising an obedient and good child. It requires a comprehensive approach that includes developing skills, fostering a growth mindset, building emotional intelligence, instilling values, and encouraging leadership. By focusing on these areas, you can raise a child who not only navigates the world successfully but also makes a significant impact.

One of the most common issues I see in parenting is waiting until puberty arrives before taking action. It’s crucial to prepare beforehand. Just like you don’t prepare for war during the battle, you must prepare for puberty in advance.

Talking about puberty often makes parents anxious. However, understanding the changes that occur during puberty is essential. Many parents are surprised to learn that Africa ranks among the top five regions for porn addiction. This isn’t just a Western issue; it’s universal. At puberty, children naturally start to question many things, including their gender. Adequate knowledge is key to navigating these challenges.

The Onset of Puberty

Girls: Typically start around age seven, though it can be earlier due to factors like nutrition. Early puberty isn’t necessarily good; it can lead to issues later in life.

Boys: Usually start around age nine, but this age is also decreasing.

Key Factors Influencing Puberty

1. Absentee Fathers: Girls often enter puberty earlier when their fathers are absent. An involved father helps delay puberty by signaling protection to the brain.
2. Screen Time: Ongoing studies suggest that screen time might impact puberty, though this isn’t yet verified.

 Starting the Conversation

Begin discussing sex and puberty early. This gives your children a cumulative advantage and prevents panic.

Steps to Prepare Your Child for Puberty

1. Lay the Groundwork Early:  Tailor the conversation to your child’s age. Talk about hygiene and how to care for the vagina and penis. One of the best things you can do for your children is to equip them with knowledge.

2. Create Comfort: From day one, make your child comfortable with having conversations about sex. Create an open environment for communication through constant connection. If you don’t connect with your child, you can’t have meaningful sex or puberty conversations with them. These are private conversations about their bodies, and they need to feel comfortable with you in all areas of their lives.

3. Look for Age-Appropriate Resources:  Use books, documentaries, and other resources that are suitable for your child’s age.

4. Equip Yourself First: It’s a mistake to think you know everything about raising a child just because you gave birth to them. As the saying goes, “My people perish for lack of knowledge.” Unfortunately, many of us aren’t equipped with the necessary knowledge, making it almost impossible to teach what we don’t know. If you grew up with parents who never mentioned these conversations, continuing that way puts your child at a disadvantage. 

Today’s biggest concern for parents is gender confusion, not pregnancy. Fear-based sex education disempowers rather than empowers. Sex conversations must never be rooted in fear.

5. Understand That Sex Education Is About Empowering, Not Policing:  We created a list of 100 wrong phrases parents say in sex conversations. For example, telling your child, “If anyone touches you, tell me immediately,” disempowers them. It’s not about forbidding sleepovers; it’s about empowering your child. Instead of instilling fear, instill values. 

Empower your child to make choices based on the skills and knowledge they have, and how confident and empowered they feel. This conversation is about empowerment and ownership of self. A confident 2-year-old can make decisions irrespective of your presence. Disempowering children makes them dependent on you, which isn’t the goal. Create systems and structures without panicking.

6. Learn About Conversations That Determine Sex Choices: Sex conversations aren’t just about the mechanics of sex. Your conversations should be clear so your children understand how to make decisions. Teach teens the self-concepts that underpin sex conversations. Our book, “Sex Educate Your Child Like a Pro,” available on Amazon and in our stores, covers these concepts. The two most important aspects of self-concept are self-preservation and self-control. Any conversation with a girl that doesn’t build her self-esteem is ineffective, and for boys, self-control is crucial.

7. Teach Body Awareness and Self-Esteem: Teach anatomy and its functions. Normalize body changes and differences—it’s okay and normal. Discuss body image in puberty. The media is a major influencer on sex conversations. Combat negative media influences by promoting positive body images. Without a solid self-identity, children may become confused about their gender during puberty. Monitor what your children watch on media. Teach puberty hygiene, skincare, and how to take care of themselves. Puberty and hygiene education must go hand in hand.

8. Understand Communication Strategy: Your children need to understand the communication strategy within your home. Many parents don’t know what to say and resort to lies, which disempowers the child. In today’s information era, using the wrong phrases does your child a disservice. Understanding the communication strategy for each age is crucial. For example, when teaching a toddler body safety, a simple phrase like “My body is not a toy” suffices. Each age group requires a specific strategy and continuity. Create a sex conversation strategy, as our inner circle parents do.

You need to decide to parent your children without making excuses. Educate your children about sex despite your excuses. Time won’t wait for you, and your children’s growth won’t either. Join the inner circle for accountability in your parenting journey.

Only 2 days remaining until the Sex Educate Your Child Like a Pro Challenge Course starts!

Time is running out to secure your spot. 

This is your Chance to equip yourself with essential knowledge to guide your children through important conversations about s£x and relationships.

Only pay ₦4,999 instead of ₦15,000 for the 4.0 edition Today !

The price will soon increase to ₦5,999.

 Take advantage now and register for just ₦4,999 Today.

Enroll now for just ₦4,999 instead of ₦15,000 and receive amazing bonuses, including:

– 80% discount valid for 24 hours

– Access to 5 live classes with replays

– “Guided Hands”: A father’s handbook on penis care and health discussions with their sons

– “Guided Fingers”: A mother’s handbook on vagina care and health discussions with their daughters

– Group registration special offer

– Bonuses worth over ₦50,000

All this for just ₦4,999! This special rate is valid for 24 hours only.

Register online here: https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/SexEducateLikeaPro40

Once you register using the link, you’ll be directed to the WhatsApp information group automatically, so no need to share proof of payment.

For offline payment:

 GTBank Account

Account Number: 0509494057  

Account Name: The Intentional Parent Academy

 Zenith Bank Account 

Account Number: 1310192708  

Account Name: The Intentional Parent Academy

After payment, share proof with one of our Admins at:

+234 903 663 3600  

+234 913 571 4816  

+234 816 972 5632

Please send proof to only one number to avoid duplicates. Direct payments may take some time to confirm.

Talking about sex with your children can be challenging, especially with many myths and misconceptions about when and how to do it. Many parents have fears and misunderstandings that can make these conversations difficult. However, addressing these myths can help you have better, more helpful discussions with your kids.

Here are five common misconceptions about sex education that every parent should know.

1. My Child is Too Young: Parents often believe their children are too young to have conversations about sex. They think, “What are they teaching them there?” when they hear about mentoring or classes for teenagers. However, children know more than we give them credit for. It is crucial to approach these conversations with the mindset that children already have some knowledge, rather than assuming they are complete novices. They gather information from various sources.

As a parent, your responsibility is to provide them with wisdom, strategies, and skills to navigate these topics. For example, a two-year-old girl who was taught about inappropriate touching was able to report molestation. If she had not been taught, she wouldn’t have known to report it. This is why sex conversations must start even before your child is born. The things you watch, wear, and do can set the foundation for future conversations.

For instance, it is inappropriate to bathe with your child; it sends mixed messages about privacy and boundaries.

2. I Don’t Want to Overexpose My Children: Some parents fear that talking about sex will overexpose their children, leading to incomplete conversations, which is worse than no education at all. Children are already overexposed to various information, often inaccurate or harmful. It’s vital to use correct terminology and address these topics comprehensively. The fear of overexposure often prevents parents from even naming private parts correctly, perpetuating a cycle of misinformation.

Avoid demonizing sex; instead, provide accurate, age-appropriate information. Incomplete education can leave children vulnerable to misinformation from peers or the internet.

3. Using Sex Conversations to Show Off or Embarrass: Some parents use sex conversations to show off or embarrass their children, recording discussions to post on social media or casually discussing their child’s private matters with friends. This breaks trust and discourages children from seeking guidance in the future. Trust and respect are your most valuable assets when discussing sensitive topics.

Imagine your child confides in you about a crush, and they overhear you sharing it with a friend. This breach of trust makes it less likely they will come to you again. Always seek your child’s approval before sharing their personal information, even within the family, to avoid oversharing and maintain their trust.

4. Can Have Conversations Anyhow – With Whatever I Know: It’s important to understand that children can tell when you’re not knowledgeable or prepared. Sex conversations should not be approached haphazardly. They must be intentional and well-informed. As societal norms and information evolve, so should your conversations about sex. Ensure you are updated with current knowledge to provide accurate information. Addressing topics like self-esteem, self-control, and emotional health is as important as discussing the mechanics of sex.

For example, a girl with low self-esteem might seek validation through inappropriate relationships. Building their self-worth and self-control helps them make better choices.

5. Thinking That Sex Conversations Are Just About the Mechanics of Sex: Many parents mistakenly believe that sex education is solely about the mechanics of sex. However, sex education encompasses much more, including building focus, self-esteem, and self-control. The most powerful sex organ is the mind, making sex education an activity of the mind. Conversations about sex should also address mental health and emotional stability.

For instance, a girl who understands her menstrual cycle will not feel anxious about being different from her peers. Similarly, boys who learn about healthy body image won’t resort to harmful practices to meet perceived standards. Addressing these broader aspects prepares children for the emotional and social challenges related to sex.

6. Thinking That Because You’re Not Speaking, No One Else Is Speaking: If you’re not educating your children about sex, someone else is, often providing misinformation. Avoid leaving your children vulnerable to inaccurate information from peers, media, or the internet. Proactively engage in these conversations to ensure they receive accurate and healthy information.

7. Thinking That Fighting Your Children’s Peers Is a Way to Give Sex Education: Some parents believe that fighting against peer pressure is the best way to protect their children. Instead of fighting, aim to manage it by creating a positive environment. You can’t always choose your child’s friends, but you can influence their environment to promote healthy choices. Foster a supportive atmosphere where your child feels comfortable discussing peer influences and making positive decisions.

Parenting is a complex task that requires adaptability and continuous learning. The concerns of the past, such as avoiding teenage pregnancy, are not the only issues today. It demands an up-to-date approach, addressing the broader context of sex education to help children navigate today’s challenges effectively.

Final call to pay #3,999 instead of #15,000 for the Sex Your Child Like a Pro 4.0

Have you registered already?

Do you know that fee changes to #4,999 from tomorrow?

Take advantage now and register by paying #3,999. Only for today.

Fee changes to #4,999 beginning from tomorrow, June 22nd.

You can still enrol for this course now for just ₦3,999 instead of ₦15,000?

You would also get access to amazing bonuses when you enrol, like:

✅ 80% discount valid for 24 hours.
✅ Access to 5 live classes with replays.
✅ “Guided Hands”: A father’s handbook on penis care and health discussions with their sons.
✅ “Guided Fingers”: A mother’s handbook on vagina care and health discussions with their daughters.
✅ Group registration special offer.
✅ Bonuses worth over ₦50,000.

All this for just ₦3,999! This special rate is valid for 24 hours only.

Register online here: https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/SexEducateLikeaPro40

Once you register using the link, you’ll be directed to the WhatsApp information group automatically, so no need to share proof of payment.

For offline payment:

GTBank Account
Account Number: 0509494057
Account Name: The Intentional Parent Academy

Zenith Bank Account
Account Number: 1310192708
Account Name: The Intentional Parent Academy

After payment, share proof with one of our Admins at:

+234 903 663 3600
+234 913 571 4816
+234 816 972 5632

Please send proof to only one number. Avoid sending duplicate messages to multiple Admins.

Direct payments may take some time to confirm.

Traumatic experiences happen to more people than we can ever imagine. The problem is that, most people don’t even understand what is happening to them, while a greater number tends to shy away from having this conversation.

Numbing your feelings will not end the traumatic experiences you had. Work on yourself. Deal with your trauma before it destroys you. To do these, you will have to identify the signs of trauma first. In today’s blogpost I will be sharing with you some traumatic signs you should look out for and how you can begin to heal.

When discussing trauma, many of us may not recognize that we carry its burden. There’s often a reluctance to speak ill of our parents, as we attribute their actions to good intentions. But how can we identify childhood trauma? Here are the signs:

1. Bad posture: Many of us slump or hunch over when sitting down. This posture, often associated with shame, is a protective stance. Chronic shame, experienced during childhood, can manifest in these physical mannerisms. If you notice a child consistently slouching, lowering their shoulders and eyes, it may indicate underlying shame. In past decades, shame was frequently used as a disciplinary tool in parenting. Bedwetting, for instance, was misunderstood, leading to unjustified shame. Adults who appear shy may actually be shielding themselves from feelings of shame. Despite its prevalence, childhood trauma is often overlooked, leading to shutdowns in discussions.

If you grew up in the 80s or 90s, consider attending a healing class, as unresolved issues from that era may still affect you. Trauma isn’t just about what happened; it’s also about what should have happened but didn’t. Many of us were prematurely burdened with adult responsibilities.

2. People-pleasing: Those with chronic trauma often seek acceptance and love by constantly trying to please others. They struggle with setting boundaries and find it hard to say no, and rejection is particularly difficult for them to handle. Many people struggle to decline unnecessary requests, feeling pressured to meet expectations, especially during personal or familial celebrations. While these gestures may seem positive, the underlying motivation can be traced back to trauma responses.

3. Hyper vigilance: Children who have experienced trauma may exhibit hypervigilance, constantly scanning their surroundings for potential threats even in safe environments. Overprotective parenting, stemming from the parents’ unresolved trauma, is common. This can manifest in a reluctance to let children play outside or venture out unaccompanied. Exaggerated startle responses, difficulty relaxing, and restless behavior are all indicators of unresolved trauma. Overparenting, often mistaken for love, can lead to entitlement issues in children. Sacrifice is an essential aspect of parenting, but it shouldn’t be equated with suffering. Learning to prioritize and sacrifice effectively is key to healthy parenting.

4. Dissociation is a coping mechanism where children disconnect from traumatic experiences. This can manifest in various ways, such as feeling detached from oneself or the world, experiencing numbness or memory lapses, or merely observing life without actively engaging in it. It’s essential to address any numbness or detachment towards the caregivers, as unresolved issues can impact future generations.

5. Self-sabotage: Those who have experienced trauma often harbor negative self-beliefs and engage in self-destructive behaviors. These behaviors may include substance abuse, unhealthy eating habits, difficulty in achieving goals, sabotaging relationships, and engaging in risky behaviors. Harsh self-criticism and an inability to extend grace to oneself are common traits. It’s crucial to recognize these patterns and seek healing to break the cycle of self-sabotage.

6. Perfectionism: Perfectionism is another common sign of childhood trauma. The relentless pursuit of flawlessness, coupled with self-blame for any perceived failures, can hinder personal growth and parenting effectiveness. Embracing imperfection is essential for both personal well-being and effective parenting.

7. Avoidance of emotional intimacy: Childhood trauma can also manifest as an avoidance of emotional intimacy, making it challenging to form deep connections with others. Addressing unresolved issues with parental figures is crucial for achieving emotional intimacy in adulthood.

8. Difficulty with emotional regulation: Children who have experienced trauma often struggle with regulating their emotions, leading to mood swings, intense emotions, and difficulty expressing or suppressing emotions. Seeking healing and accountability are essential steps in overcoming these challenges.

To embark on a journey of healing, consider enrolling in a trauma-focused program or seeking therapy. By addressing childhood trauma, not only will you experience personal growth and healing, but you’ll also create a more nurturing environment for future generations.

We opened up registration at the Academy “Healing From Parenting Hurt” to help you get over these hurts for the sake of your children. We have an offer you can cash in on NOW! Yes a 50% Discount from original Fee of #30,500 ($23) 

So you get to Pay #15,500 instead of #30,500

We must become better for our children. Dealing with childhood trauma is a complex but necessary process. Through therapy, you can overcome childhood trauma. You can raise happy and healthy families, be productive citizens, and have a fulfilling life.

At the Healing From Parenting Hurt session, we will be helping you with the process, so you can take your life back again. We have helped almost 5,000 parents on their healing journey. 

Are you hurting? Time doesn’t change anything, it’s what we do with time that makes a change. Enrol today and start your healing journey 

To register for the Healing from Childhood Trauma Course, pay #15,500 to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 0903 663 3600

You can also register online here: https://selar.co/Healingcourse

Does your child’s behavior leave you feeling like you’re constantly running kiti kiti, kata kata?

You’re not alone. Many parents struggle with challenging behaviors. But before you resort to yelling, and punishment, take a deep breath and consider this: there might be a reason behind those outbursts.

This blog post dives into the root causes of difficult behaviors in children, and equips you with 5 effective parenting strategies to navigate these situations calmly and constructively. Let’s move from feeling overwhelmed to feeling empowered in your parenting journey!

Often, we discuss children’s misbehavior without delving into its root causes. Let’s categorize these causes into three factors:

1 . Developmental Factors: Unmet developmental needs can lead to misbehavior. Children act out when essential needs like autonomy, competence, and social skills aren’t fulfilled. A common example is lacking social skills. When a child misses out on learning expected behaviors, it can lead to challenges. For instance, if a child should be able to bathe independently but is not given the opportunity, it can create difficulties for both the child and the parent. This sets off a chain reaction of struggles within the household. Another critical factor is brain development. Immature brain development can result in impulsive and emotionally driven behavior, especially in younger children who struggle with regulating their emotions. It’s a misconception that children should naturally know how to regulate their emotions; it’s a skill that needs to be taught. Parents play a crucial role in this by understanding normal child development. For example, tantrums are a normal part of childhood, but it’s essential for parents to address them appropriately. Failure to do so can result in adults who struggle to manage their emotions. To raise emotionally resilient children, parents must first equip themselves with the necessary knowledge and skills.

2. Environmental Factors:

• Family Dynamics: Many parents overlook understanding their family dynamics, often resulting in comparisons with other families and children. This can trigger rebellion in children, leading to conflicts, stress, and instability within the family environment, which in turn can impact a child’s behavior. Environmental factors within the family also encompass divorce, single parenting, family trauma, and inconsistent family practices.

• Your Influence: You are the most significant influence on your child’s environment. The environment you create for your child goes beyond mere values. The outcome of a child’s development is shaped by who raised them, how they were raised, where they were raised, and the knowledge of those who raised them. Your ignorance can affect your child’s behavior positively or negatively. It’s crucial to reflect on whether your environment causes trauma for your child. Often, unnecessary drama stemming from past generations’ parenting traumas influences current parenting styles. There is a pressing need to redefine parenting for the well-being of our children. Our Inner Circle program is dedicated to this process of remodeling parenting, running throughout the year.

• Peer Influence: Negative peer relationships and experiences of bullying can lead to challenging behaviors, as children often mimic behaviors observed in their peers. Peer influence constitutes another significant environmental factor. That’s why our inner circle offers a course titled “Creating a Social Road Map for Your Gen Z Child,” addressing the importance of navigating peer relationships effectively.Book a slot for the inner circle here

3. Emotional and Psychological Factors:

• Regulation Challenges: Children who struggle with regulating their emotions may exhibit outbursts, aggression, and withdrawal as coping mechanisms for overwhelming feelings.
• Underlying Mental Health Disorders: Undiagnosed mental health disorders can contribute to behavioral issues in children.
• Learning and Communication Challenges: Children with learning disabilities may become frustrated and act out due to difficulties in understanding and completing tasks in academic settings. Limited verbal and social communication skills can also lead to frustration and behavioral issues. Communication plays a crucial role here; many resort to yelling due to a lack of effective communication skills. This inability to communicate assertively can lead to a loss of control. For instance, toddlers, unable to express themselves with words, resort to tantrums. It’s important to recognize that effective communication is essential in parenting and managing behavior.
• Trauma and Adverse Experiences: Children who have experienced trauma, abuse, neglect, or adverse experiences may exhibit behavioral issues as a result. Trauma-informed approaches are necessary to support these children. It’s essential for caregivers to understand trauma and address their own trauma as well. Sometimes, the trauma our children experience stems from our own past experiences. Notably, individuals raised without aggression are less likely to exhibit aggressive behaviors.
• Biological Factors: Some children may be genetically predisposed to certain behaviors. Understanding this aspect can facilitate dealing with misbehaviors more effectively.

Effective Parenting Strategies to use include: 

1.   Build your calm – This is the reason for our No Yelling Challenge in the academy. You need consistency in building your calm. Changing your children starts by changing you. 

2.   Learn positive communication – Foster open and positive communication. 

3.   Collaborative problem solving – Involve your child in finding solutions. Don’t just solve your problems alone. Encourage them to brainstorm ideas. When you collaborate in problem solving, it promotes a sense of empowerment and responsibility in your child. It can also lead to learning important skills such as negotiation and compromising which can help prevent future difficult behaviours. 

4.   Emotional regulation techniques – Teach your children how to manage their emotions. Teach your child techniques for handling their emotions. 

5.   Be consistent and predictable. Unpredictability is the enemy of parenting. Establish clear and consistent routines in your home. Consistency provides stability and it helps your child to know what to expect. It reduces anxiety, confusion, confrontation, commotion and chaos which contributes to difficult behaviours. You must do all these with calm. 

Understand that your child is being raised whether you are doing it or not. So you need to put in the time to raise them the right way. 

Yelling has negative effects on your child .. see slides to learn more … Anger and Yelling are the biggest frustrations of parents.

If you know my journey, you will know that parenting with peace and calm is possible.

I was that chronic Yeller who worked so hard to achieve calmness as a parent. I didn’t stop with myself I’ve worked with over 10,000 parents to let go of their anger and build deep, connected relationships with their children and spouses.

After authoring over 10 parenting best sellers; Connect To Correct, Walking your Child through Puberty , The Discipline That Works, Sex educate like a pro volume one and two , parenting launch plan , How to Love your child more , Raising an independent thinking child , From Yelling to Calm and Resolving Sibling Rivalry and 18 other guides that have sold in their tens of thousands; Parents have asked I put together tools and strategies that can help one move you from Yelling to Calm.

Yes, here we go I’m offering you a 5 – day accountability challenge, where I guide and give you strategies that will take you from yelling to Calm.

I guarantee this Challenge will change your life as a parent:
• If you are a parent that struggles with anger, you need this Challenge?
• If you have being Yelling at your children and actually get tired at some point you need to join this challenge
• If you are looking for alternative ways to modify your child’s behaviour without shouting down everyone, you need this Challenge.

Join me for this challenge as I share with you how I walked through my own journey from being a yeller to a calm Parent.In this 5 days Challenge will give you a jumpstart on your journey to tame your temper.

This first second early bird registration ends in few hours after that it rises to N8,999

To register for the No Yelling Challenge, simply click here:
https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/NoYellingChallenge

Or pay N6,999 to 0509494057 (GTB). The Intentional Parent Academy. Share proof to +234903 663 3600.

If I can ditch yelling, you too can.

Come let’s parent with Peace and Calm