Our children have many opportunities in life. Unfortunately, too often, we focus on raising them just to pass exams. Exams are important, but there are so many more skills and experiences your children need to prepare for the world. Raising a child to understand how the world works is one of the best gifts you can give them. If you’re raising a child without teaching them how the world operates, you’re setting them up for a life of struggle. I’ve seen children who were raised by parents that prioritized obedience over independence; as adults, these children struggled when faced with the realities of life because they weren’t taught how to navigate the world. One common mistake parents make is aiming to create a perfect human being, which simply isn’t possible. No child will ever be perfect, yet many parents are obsessed with this idea, focusing solely on raising well-behaved children.
I once had a parent tell me that she didn’t need any parenting guidance because her children were well-behaved. They didn’t talk back, question her, or say no. While that may sound ideal, I was genuinely concerned for her children because she had essentially raised children who couldn’t think for themselves. A child who cannot think becomes a burden. Good behavior is important, but it’s possible to have a well-behaved child who lacks wisdom. Foolishness is the opposite of wisdom, and a child who doesn’t know how to navigate the world will lack common sense. Think about the biblical story of the ten virgins; five were foolish, even though they were virgins. The truth is, being “good” isn’t enough to make an impact in the world, because goodness alone is not a skill, and no one rewards you for simply being good.
Our children will encounter many gates of opportunity throughout their lives. The question is: are they ready for these gates to be opened? As a parent, you are both the protector and the gatekeeper for your child. The wall you build around them offers protection, but the gates represent opportunities for them to step out and test their readiness to live beyond that protection. When you eventually bring down the wall and open the gate, will your child be able to survive? Each gate is an opportunity for your child to explore and exercise their growing independence. In our inner circle, we call this the “parenting launch plan,” which ensures that you are preparing your child for each opportunity as it arises. These gates should be opened by you, not by your child, and only when they are ready. The Bible speaks of children answering the enemy at the gate; are your children prepared to do that?
The rules of the gate include:
- The gate must be opened by you, not by the child. If a child opens the gate too soon, they may be overwhelmed.
- Gates are privileges, not rights. They are earned based on your parenting system, not simply because a child reaches a certain age.
- Gates should be opened based on the child’s readiness and the opportunities available, not by a fixed timeline.
- The golden gates are often the most tempting, but they require preparation and discipline to navigate successfully.
How to Prepare Your Child for the World
- Give Them Responsibility and Accountability
One of the biggest challenges I see is that many children enter university unprepared because they’ve never had to demonstrate full responsibility for their lives and choices. Some parents, when faced with their children’s poor behavior in boarding school, refuse to take responsibility or blame the school. Many parents have created environments where their children are not held accountable for anything. Stop blaming the school and start holding your child accountable. - Let Them Fail
Failure is a crucial tool in parenting. Stop protecting your child from failure. Allowing them to fail teaches them valuable life lessons. Adversity and failure are essential parts of the growth process. Failure is not the end, but rather a necessary step towards success. When we embrace failure as part of the journey, we help our children understand that setbacks are not permanent. If we constantly seek progress without going through the process, we hinder our children’s growth. Children who avoid challenges and only focus on success will struggle in the future. Anyone who wishes to become gold must first pass through the fire, so don’t deprive your child of that experience. - Teach Them Problem-Solving Skills
Teach your children how to solve their own problems, rather than solving their problems for them. Show them how to think, not just what to think. Decision-making is a skill, and your children need to learn to make decisions by considering the pros and cons, incentives, goals, and values involved. Instead of rushing to rescue them when they make a mistake, allow them to figure out how to clean up the mess. Solving problems for your children may feel helpful in the short term, but it ultimately stunts their development. - Prepare Them for Life Management
Life management includes time management, money management, and decision-making. If your child’s first experience handling money is after they’ve left home, or if their first independent decision comes when they’re away from you, you’ve done them a disservice. Time management is life management; if your child can’t manage their time, they won’t be able to manage their life effectively. - Encourage Other Types of Intelligence
We often focus solely on building our children’s IQ by encouraging them to study, pass exams, and achieve academic success. However, we neglect other types of intelligence like adversity quotient, social quotient, cultural quotient, and spiritual quotient. These are just as important. For example, being culturally intelligent can be a game changer. I know someone who has held a position for eight years that no one else could hold for more than two, simply because of his cultural intelligence. Culture is about understanding the rules of the land, and it’s crucial that your children learn how to relate to people from different cultures. Each environment has its own rules, and your children must learn to navigate these different systems to succeed.
The School Gate
One of the gates you must consider is the school gate. School is an incredible gateway of opportunity, with growing responsibilities and freedoms as the years pass. Schools present a unique challenge: they offer your child the chance to choose friends and make decisions without your supervision. Different schools present different temptations at different levels. The good news is, there are always options. The best way to guard this gate is by getting involved in the school system and understanding how to maximize the opportunities it presents. Don’t leave your child’s education to chance; be proactive in guiding them through this gateway.
By following these steps, you’ll be preparing your child not just for exams, but for the challenges and opportunities they’ll face in the real world.
Day 2: of the Back to School Master Class
“Thank you so much, Coach Omolola, for the incredible session!
What stood out the most was the focus on spiritual preparation. I used to pray only on the morning of school resumption, but now I’ve started praying and fasting for the new school year from the start of the holidays. My children have joined in with their own prayers and have prayer points for the term, which we review weekly.
We’ve also developed daily affirmations to say before they head to school. Thank you, Inner Circle Mama @Coach Wendy, for guiding us on this journey.” — Participant
“My biggest takeaway is realizing that God communicates with us! It felt like a revelation hitting me from Heaven. I’ve been blessed with a divine blueprint for my children, but I’m learning that being part of TIP means I must do my part excellently. Despite having divine guidance, I needed to step up my actions. Thank you, Coach Wendy, for making this clarity possible through TIP!”— Participant —
Weren’t able to join us for Day 2? there’s still time to catch up and gain these valuable insights! Replays are available, and it’s not too late to be part of this transformative journey. Secure your access at the special rate of #6,999 ($7) Want to join? Reach out to our team at +234 903 663 3600 for more details.
