Parenting is hinged on two major things
1. Communication
2. Emotion.
A lot of the time we make a mess of this journey because we lack the ability to communicate. When you lack communication skills, you become violent and aggressive, so you become violent.
WHAT ARE THE BASIS OF GETTING YOUR CHILD TO LISTEN
1. Ability to control your emotions
2. Ability to connect with your Child
3. Ability to engage cooperation with empathy.
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ABILITY TO CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS: A lot of the time, connection, and your Children\’s ability to listen to you will come from the fact that you are able to put your emotions to check. The ability to control your emotions is the basis of parenting. If you do not know how to control your emotions you will see yourself constantly fighting. If you don’t remove aggression from your parenting, your children will never get to listen. The only way you can get Children to listen is by first working on you.
You need to talk to your Child only when you have your Child’s attention. A misbehaving Child is not a good listener. During last week’s session, I mentioned that discipline is not an emergency, so the moment anything happens we want to correct it immediately. So only talk when you have your Child’s attention.
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ABILITY TO CONNECT WITH YOUR CHILD: To connect with your Child:
1. Get down at their level, probably sit will them, and connect to them at that moment.
2. Touch the Child gently and acknowledge what they are doing
3. Ensure that your child is looking up
4. Don’t repeat yourself. When you do this, you model to your Child to keep rambling even when someone isn’t paying attention to them.
ABILITY TO ENGAGE COOPERATION WITH EMPATHY: Giving orders stimulates resistance, when speaking you need to look at your tone of voice.
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HOW TO ENGAGE COOPERATION
1. You engage cooperation by sharing choices, when you give choices your Child feels empowered, it makes them feel that they can lead themselves. One of your biggest wins in parenting is to get your Children to lead themselves. If you have a child who cannot lead themselves, if you teach your child independent thinking, they will be able to lead themselves. You teach independent thinking by Building structures and routines, your aim as a parent is to be able to raise children who think. Parenting is tough, your success is in the systems that you are able to create.
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2. Start being proactive instead of being reactive. Proactivity is doing things before they come.
3. Stay Calm: When you get upset, Children feel unsafe so they get into the fight, freeze, or flight mode, and in the effort to defend themselves they fight back, become less effective at listening, they loose sight of the message. When you are not calm when you are speaking your Child will naturally feel unsafe. So you need to take a deep breath so that you do not fuel the storm. Emotions control is a skill and not a prayer point, for you to be able to control your emotions you need to learn it. If you don’t have a grip on your emotions, you will run wild.
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Do you often find yourself losing your cool and yelling at your children?
Do you find yourself verbally abusing because you feel verbal abuse is better than physical abuse?
Don\’t kid yourself, verbal abuse can be worse.
It happens to many parents, but it doesn\’t have to.
It is possible to change and enjoy a calmer life because of it!
Yes, it is!!
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With our upcoming \” MASTER YOUR EMOTIONS CHALLENGE\”, you\’ll learn practical, simple solutions, tools, strategies, guides & motivation to replace aggression and reactivity in your parenting with calm, peace & Thinking.
Whether you have one child or twenty (or one you still yell at who is twenty), strengthen your relationships and maybe even laugh a little more–by taking this CHALLENGE today.
Want to walk this journey with US?
Pay #2,499 instead of #10,000 to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040.
You can also join online here: https://selar.co/MYEchallenge
Be Intentional.
©Wendy Ologe
Parent Coach & Author
