Parenting experience at the core of its success is your ability to manage your emotions. Some parents think that staying calm in the face of misconduct is easier said than done because they find it difficult to implement the information they have on parenting when faced with issues.
Parenting is an emotional journey/experience so being emotionally calm doesn\’t translate to you becoming calm when the child is doing what he ought not to do.
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The human brain has logical part and emotional parts. The logical part of the brain helps you stay sane while the emotional part stirs up reactivity such as yelling screaming, and hitting.
In the face of chaos, reacting the same way as your child doesn\’t help because you have allowed the emotional part of your brain to take control and you end up not handling the situation the right way. Dealing with your emotions requires proactivity and not reactivity. In parenting, times of frustration, hurt, disappointment, and confusion overwhelms you and that\’s why every parent needs parental support.
So when you appear vulnerable to the situation and the triggers( frustration, anger, and helplessness) stir up, they get you to the point where they erupt your limitations, shame, and fears, and also trigger experiences from your childhood, and with that fear, you react and make a mess of the situation.
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Be it as it may, how do you manage or handle your emotions when you are faced with these triggers?
1. Take Responsibility For Your Emotions. Most of the time, parents love the blame game. You think or assume that your child is the reason why you feel the way you do or react. When your emotions control you, you can end up destroying your child and not help him learn how to deal with life. Managing emotions is a critical skill for parents who want to raise children so that anger won\’t destroy tomorrow. Master your emotions because you are the reason and the solution!
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2. Change Your Perspective. By and large, the problem lies in the tackling of issues from the parent\’s point of view of \”always being right.” Thinking differently makes you less angry. When your child is unruly or floors the rules, your reaction matters. Rules are meant to be tried and tested by your child but it is your job to guide them in the appropriate way. It is your job to let him know that there are consequences for every action but when you try to control the child, he recoils or becomes extremely rebellious. Your reactivity doesn\’t teach him but your proactivity with the right knowledge makes the difference.
3. Learn How To Be Calm. Calmness is a vital skill every parent should possess. It is a state of being silent in the midst of chaos. It is not about personality. Some people are introverts and not calm.
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4.Learn Communication Skills. Giving instructions is quite different from communicating. Healthy communication skill is the key to managing emotions.
5.Choose Your Battles. Some battles require fighting back while some require saying nothing but watching. It takes wisdom to know when to fight back or stay calm. Disciplining your child isn\’t down instantly when situations arise. It is a private affair. Your discipline is to guide your child in order to help them learn and not punish them for their mistakes.
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6. Get Parenting Support. Scars of parenting errors can leave you marred for life. As a parent, you need to have a good support structure that makes you accountable and keeps you in check. You don\’t have to run on your own.
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Do you often find yourself losing your cool and yelling at your children?
Do you find yourself verbally abusing because you feel verbal abuse is better than physical abuse?
Don\’t kid yourself, verbal abuse can be worse. It happens to many parents, but it doesn\’t have to continue with you.
It is possible to change and enjoy a calmer life because of it!
Yes it is!!
With our upcoming \” MASTER YOUR EMOTIONS CHALLENGE\” , you\’ll learn practical, simple solutions, tools, strategies, guides & motivation to replace aggression and reactivity in your parenting with calm, peace & Thinking.
Whether you have one child or twenty (or one you still yell at who is twenty), strengthen your relationships and maybe even laugh a little more–by taking this CHALLENGE today.
Want to walk this journey with US?
Pay #3,499 instead of #10,000 to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040.
You can register online here: https://selar.co/MYEchallenge
Be Intentional.
©Wendy Ologe
Parent Coach & Author
