HELP MY CHILD IS NOT LEARNING

Have you ever been in a situation where you are calling out to your child, you are screaming literally, and your child isn\’t answering you? Or have you been teaching your child and are getting frustrated? You keep saying \”oh I have taught this child this thing I have been teaching him but he\’s not listening\” Are you wearing those shoes then you are in the right class because there are lots and lots of things that happen, we\’re learning. When we do not understand this, we struggle with our own children because we do not understand what we should be doing.

Recently, a man shared a video in our community on Facebook where this parent was demonstrating how they actually teach their children during homework and a lot of people commented saying \”this is some\” and everybody laughed about it. Many children struggle to learn because their parents do not even understand who they are and cannot teach them the things that will help them learn. There are many things that will help your child learn and we need to teach them these things for learning to actually take place instead of neglecting them.

I will be sharing with you three/four things that actually hinder learning.

1. We Are Not Teaching The Skills That Aid Learning. Provided you don\’t teach your children those skills that aid learning your child will find it difficult to learn. This is applicable in a situation where you know that your child doesn\’t have a learning disability (that\’s a medical issue) One skill we are not teaching our children is work ethics. Unfortunately, we\’re more interested in making our children look perfect than teaching them the skills they actually need to be able to become better, to learn to do what they need to do. We are no longer teaching our children how to actually look at their work and do it the right way that it should be done. We are not putting down our foot on so many things. How are things being done in your home? Do your children use excuses like \”I\’m not going to be able to do this because I need to finish up my game\” and you allow them to live that way? Our children are not able to actually gain skills that will help them learn even when they are outside of our home because of this.

2 Self Worth. This is not the kind of self-worth we are propagating today where we\’re telling our children things like \”if you go to school then you deserve an award\”. Let me make this clear: the world will never award your child because they are special. I remember a conversation in our Facebook community where a lot of parents said their children are special so every school, they go to must award them. We then wonder why we\’re bringing children who are entitled. Self-worth should stem from the accomplishment of a challenging task; I am referring to intrinsic reward, not a promotion or an award. You need to teach your children to learn the self-worth of completing a task. Recently, I was teaching parents in the inner circle the difference between praising the process and parsing the result. Being focused on the result instead of the process is the reason parents go as far as paying for their children to write WAEC. I know that some of our own parents did the same thing as well, so we\’re just having a ripple effect of whatever it is that had been laid as a foundation. If we\’re going to make any difference in this generation then we need to stand up to do it differently.When you go through a challenge, it is a process that speaks to you not the result. You need to teach your children the value of intrinsic rewards, not just the promotion or physical awards that they are given.

3. Study skills. Some Children do not even know how to study so it\’s difficult for them to even learn on their own. If you teach the skill you would not struggle, instead of concentrating on beating the child who makes mistakes can we start concentrating on how we can build skills to help a child not to make those mistakes? If we think discipline from the angle of training, then I don\’t think we will have issues parenting. My son was having a conversation with me while he was studying and I don\’t know what is written in his book. If you have a 10-year-old and he or she can\’t study on their own, and you\’re still struggling with doing their homework, how are they going to survive the world outside of you? It is very important for you to teach them how they can study on their own.

Study skills involve self-discipline; Many of our children find it difficult to study on their own especially during examinations. I don\’t get it when people say \”Oh my children are writing exams\” so your life stops. I\’m referring to Children who are old enough, if you have an 8 year or 9-year-old then you should have teaching them study skills. Self-discipline teaches your child they need to wake up to actually study themselves when they have an exam. I wish that parents would begin to focus and put their energy into the training of their children because training is discipline. That is why you get tired and frustrated that\’s why we wield the cane. Instead of constantly trying to do things for your children, you need to sit back and ask yourself what skill you need to teach your child that is going to help them tomorrow. You need to understand that personal discipline is key, your children have the contributions to make on your parenting journey. However, you are the one that will teach your children what contributions they need to make on your journey. Do not make your children become people who suck energy from the family and give absolutely nothing.

Another key thing when it comes to teaching your children study skills is time management. I once shared on the community that my twins actually make their food in the morning and still be the first pupils that arrive at their school every day, this called time management. Someone then asked me if my children play at all, I don\’t think any other child plays more than my children because they immerse themselves in play. You have to teach your children how to scale their time, my children have created a time routine for themselves we just laid the foundation. I do not have to tell them what to do per time, they have learned it.

Time management is it is a big deal but unfortunately, many parents cannot manage their own time and that is where the problem. I keep saying that before you parents anybody at all you need to first parent yourself because you cannot give what you don\’t have. I was bad at time management when I started my journey, I knew that it was an error and I needed to unlearn it, it took a lot of sacrifices, but I had to do it. A very important aspect of study skill is goal setting. Teach your children how to set goals let them understand that they also have a role and teach them what they need

4. Sacrifice is another skill we need to teach our children, unfortunately, these days our children can\’t sacrifice anything. Your children need to learn that they do not need to finish that game they are playing before they do something that is important to them, they need to learn to sacrifice things for the other. Excellence thrives on sacrifice; children would need to sacrifice from day one. Unfortunately, parents think we need to start flogging from day one, NO, you need to start teaching them skills from day one. I was teaching the parents in the inner circle in one of our sessions and we were teaching honor as a skill. You need to teach them to pay their dues, let them learn to sacrifice something for something. There is no one who actually just wakes up and because you\’re gifted then you produce fruits, that only happens if you are actually you know doing something. No matter how beautiful a seed it, if you do not plant it never germinates.

5.Another skill your child will need to learn is decision-making and problem-solving skills. Children without decision-making skills struggle to learn, do you know that how to make choices is a skill? If you do not teach your children how to make a choice be it good or bad, they will do nonsense out there. Decision-making skill is the ability to weigh pros and cons: you need to teach your children how to predict outcomes and determine the pro or cons of any decision they make. With the way we are parenting, we are shutting down our children\’s ability to make choices. Even when they are able to make those wrong choices that give us the chance to correct and help, we end up making a mess because we do not give them room to learn. When you plant a tree and you do not weed around it, the weeds will envelop that plant and it will be a mess. The ability for the child to make choices is a skill, for the child to look at an issue and then determine what the advantages and disadvantages are. Things as simple as allowing your children to wear clothes shoe clothes can be way with starting skills but many parents shut their children when they share an opinion. This continues to happen, so when they get to the point where they can make choices people still tell them the choices to make.

6. Another Skill is Responsibility. Responsibility is conscience-driven and you need to give your children age-appropriate responsibility per time. Any child you do not give appropriate responsibility will become irresponsible. Your child does nothing at home, yet you are wielding the cane-like your life depends on it. I see 13-year olds with no responsibility as att. We made choices because it\’s the right thing, for instance, dishes must be washed for them to be ready for the next meal. That is responsibility.

if you do not build these skills, we are building children who cannot keep jobs. For instance, being punctual to work is tied to being able to keep your job so even if you have a movie you will like to watch, you still have to make it to work in time. You need to teach your children the orchestrating role responsibility plays in their lives. They need to realistically learn the outcomes when responsibilities are not met. If children do live up to their responsibility and natural consequences are not informed, you are creating children who would become irresponsible. This is not a curse; it is the truth and if you do not do this, it backfires.

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TIP ANNUAL CONFERENCE 2021

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