Help, My Child Is Always Lying

Every child learns to lie until you can teach them the value of honesty!! Flogging a child for lying doesn\’t stop them from lying, they only learn how to lie without you getting to know😁

There are better ways to teach a child how to stop lying…

In this blog post, I will respond to a question that I have gotten several times in the academy “Help, My Child Is Always Lying”

When parents say that they have never lied, I smirk because that in itself is the biggest lie of the century .😁😁

How Does Lie Start
Lying starts as a basic survival skill, everyone wants to survive including children, toddlers. So between the ages of 2-5, they learn to bend the truth. No child wants to be beaten, punished, or face the consequences of their actions, so what they do in a bid to avoid this is to lie. As much as this looks like nothing, to your child, it is a big deal

Lying is a behavior, so this implies that parents would need to teach their kids that lying should not be a coping mechanism. It is a skill to teach your child how not to lie and these skills are called rational skills: skills that children need to learn on how lying cannot serve them.

3 Reasons Why Children Lie:

1. Fantasy: Between ages 2 to 4, a child starts fantasizing
2. Bragging: Children lie for bragging rights, this is a result of low self-esteem and peer pressure.
3. Preventing Negative Consequences.

Lying is one of the earliest lessons we learn in life, and it is one of our first self-realization and reaction. When you beat a child for lying, they don\’t automatically stop lying, the device is a way to lie better. Beating a child gives you instant gratification but does that serve the child? They become hypocrites and master the art of lying.

Age-by-Age Guide to Lying

Lying is a sign of healthy development in a Child, It\’s an important developmental milestone in Children, research shows that 4-5-year-olds lie every 2 hours, so lying is normal but we are not encouraging you to ignore it. It is your responsibility to teach honestly.

From toddlers to preschoolers, they learn to exaggerate things that can be seen as a lie as well, they express their rich imagination through exaggeration. When you hit a Child for being creative, their creativity is killed.

5 to 7-year-Olds, they lie to escape or get what they want the responsibility. At this age, friends are becoming important to them so they also lie to brag or tell a feeble.

8 and Above, at this age lie, has become more intentional. They lie to impress people, they gain social standing.

What Can I Do Raise Honest Children
1. Figure Out Your Child\’s Motivation For Lying :Until you figure out why your child is lying, you can never deal with the problem of lying because lying is inherent in that Child. Start by considering how you respond when a child slips, how do you respond when your child makes mistakes, this will determine if your child will lie to you or not. If your disciplinary measures are too harsh, your Child will escape them. Humans are greater to survive, so they will do their best to avoid it.

2. You Must Nurture Self Esteem In Your Child: Confident Children are less likely to embellish the truth, so they don\’t lie for bragging or to prove a point. One of the things that erode a child\’s self-esteem is bad discipline, a lot of us are raised with negative discipline and we are doing the same to our children. So most of our parenting process erodes self-esteem that\’s why we have more liars.

3. Teach Your Children By Modelling Honesty: This is an extra effort you need to put in to teach your children honestly. Many parents are chronic liars without realizing it, they tell lies while bragging to their Children that they have never lied. You must model honestly if you want to raise honest Children.

4. Take Away The Infallibility Theory From Your Parenting: If you don\’t take the infallibility theory from your parenting, you will raise hypocrites. If you don\’t take the perfectionist system where you claim to be perfect and your children need to be perfect you will not be able to raise children who have rational skills and can be honest at all times.

5. Learn To Be Honest With Your Emotions: