It has become a standard for parents to get pressurized during the festive season. For some parents, they go to extreme measures just to make sure that a lot happens even when the finance to facilitate such isn\’t readily available. Cooking every day, Attending every occasion, and Buying new clothes for every member of the family. Surprisingly, this pattern didn\’t just start in our era but has been passed from generation to generation and the essence of Christmas is disregarded.

Growing up, we looked forward to Christmas until we started becoming senior teens. My parents had great plans for us as children, but like many parents, they lost track of them as we grew older. I often say that parenting skills change as your children grow. Worse still in this era, parents don\’t create plans anymore because of many factors. Holidays should have routines, structures, and plans. You don\’t leave it to chance. They are a huge part of your parenting plan.

Creating family rituals should be one of your family values. In my home, we have created an intentional structure for holidays, nothing is left to chance. The structures might be different in many homes but the templates and principles behind them are the same. However, before we dive into our main topic for today, I would likehighlight 6 things Christmas is not.

Christmas is:

1. Not an emergency. Christmas is not the time for you to run helter-skelter just to finish what you weren\’t able to do,e.g, buying \’christmas clothes\’ or stocking up your pantry etc.
2. Not about spending money. A lot of parents think that the holiday season is the period you get to spend all you labored and saved up throughout the year. It is not!
3. Not a burden. Christmas is also not the time to take up the heavy load of thinking of where to borrow money and spend just for the holiday. Do not worry your head because worry will wear you out.
4. Not a time of pressure. Some parents are already feeling agitated because they have not fulfilled the rituals of buying Christmas clothes for their children. It\’s not stated anywhere in the constitution that special clothes must be bought during the Christmas holidays. What happens when you put pressure on yourself, it spoils the mood in the home, and when that happens, it trickles down to the kids and there will be no harmony because everyone is irritable.
5. Not a time to ship the kids to relatives. Do not get me wrong, a lot happens to the children during that period. Children can be molested or abused by cousins, uncles, or aunts. It is your responsibility as a parent to protect your children.
6. Not a time for a competition. The holiday season is not the time to \’pepper Dem \’ [show off] or compete with family members. If you can not afford to get new outfits, you can comfortably wear the ones you have. Surprisingly, the people you want to show off for won\’t even notice your change of wardrobe.

Christmas Is The Time Of :

1 . Bonding with family: Many parents have asked, \”Coach how do I bond with my children during the festive period?\” There are many ways by which you can bond with your children. It can be through the activities you do as a family. It is one of the reasons why I came up with the intentional Christmas bundle. It is packed with a lot of fun activities that you can do on daily basis. Your children need and cherish the times you spend in gatherings.

Christmas is a time that is ought to be looked forward to not because of the wining and dining or the new clothes but because of the beautiful memories created.

2 . Being thankful : In the inner circle, we started with teaching the level 1 how to keep gratitude journals. Gratitude makes you focus on things you have and not get worried over things you don\’t have and can\’t control. It helps you focus on the people you are blessed and surrounded with and adds value to you.

3 . Gift giving: Most people think that before you give someone a gift, it must be a huge and expensive one. Gift giving is not about the size or price but the thought that comes with the gift. Teach your children how to give gifts because a lot of us grew up not knowing how to receive gifts because we were not taught how to and so you feel undeserving when someone gives you.

4 . Connections, Conversations, and Communications: It brings the opportunity for you to connect with your kids, have valuable conversations, and learn how to communicate with them. Connection is the first tool in parenting because parenting is a game of influence and not a game of force. Look for things that can facilitate the connection. It can be games, puzzles, or movies. Many of us are raising children we do not know. If you do not know your child, you can\’t parent effectively. If you don\’t spend time with your child, you won\’t know who he/she is. Do not let them spend their holiday in front of the screen at all times just because they are not in session. Bond with them by connecting and being present. Presence doesn\’t just entail being there physically, it\’s about the content and quality of the time spent with the children. People think that an absent parent isn\’t physically available. Some parents can be present yet absent.

6 . Fun: It should be fun fun fun!!! Create activities that the children will look forward to once they get out of bed. I created the intentional Christmas bundle so that parents can plan the holiday with everyone included. Put up structures and routines because they are the bane of effective parenting. The structure protects the children at home because they are guided by it.

In conclusion, Christmas shouldn\’t be that time of the year when parents should allow the festive fever to get to them. Do not be under pressure to do more than you can handle, nobody will die! Dedicate the holiday to relaxing, spending time with loved ones, and creating everlasting memories. Enjoy simple things TOGETHER. Real joy is found in togetherness. Get a copy of the intentional christmas bundle and it will aid you in creating rituals in your family.