5 WAYS TO GET YOUR CHILD’S ATTENTION WITHOUT YELLING

Yelling is a big deal in our clime, in fact it is everywhere globally. Yelling is known to be passed from parents to offspring\’s. Once you are yelled at as a child, automatically you pick up yelling and your children pick it up too and the cycle continues. Growing up, my parents never yelled and we listened to them more than the yelling parents.

Some parents believe their children do not listen except you yell at them. This is a bad narrative sold to us that is completely wrong. The more you yell, the more your child resists what you are teaching.

Yelling has other side effect both on the yelling parent and the yelled child. The bad effect to the yelling parent as :high blood pressure, artery pain, anxiety, heart attack, anger issue and a lot more on this list. My best selling book ‘from yelling to calm’ is my journey from being a yeller to a calm parent.

You can order a copy of from yelling to calm here

Yelling also has its negative effects on our children; we bring up children who are timid, children without great self esteem, the inability to stand up to an adult whether the adult is wrong or not. Most of us were instructed not to question an adult, even when the adults seem to be wrong. One of the greatest gift we can give to our children is the ability to question our actions. Yelling affects the self esteem of our children, both at home and outside, children who cannot speak up. We raise children who cannot stand up for themselves.

This low self esteem eventually follows then through out their growth process, till adulthood. However you program your child, that\’s how your child will grow. The ability of a child to stand up and say that s/he is not okay with the abuse being melted on him/her is as a result of how their parents trained them. Our training as parents will help instill confidence in our children and enable them to speak up and leave an abusive environments.

The ability to think was shut down for most of us when were growing up. Not yelling at your child does not mean permissive parenting. It only means that you can parent in a more effective way apart from yelling. One of the reasons I am actively fighting the way we were raised is that, we are intentionally and unintentionally transferring this to our children. Training is beyond yelling and beating a child. Training requires that you do the job of discipline which requires you to build a structure.

The five basic things you can do to grab your child\’s attention without yelling and :

1. Take the opposite tone: The harder your child’s voice becomes, the softer the tone we respond with. With this, You are teaching your child how he is supposed to be. Model the kind of conversational skill you want them to emulate. With this, the child learns by your behavior because children learn better by what you model to them. The book “from yelling to calm” shows that the angry person needs the most kind words. This helps us to take the opposite tone and the next person backs down. Soft words turns away wrath.
2. Calm repetition: Most times, we demand that when we speak, the child picks it instantly. But we need to implement the calm approach, which is quietly repeating what you said to the child. Repeating the same phrase as much as it needs to be. You need to make an impression for anybody to internalize a message.
   For anyone to learn and internalize a message, you need to make an impression, and for you to make an impression, it comes from repetition. Calm repetition can be a great tool to learn instead of yelling. When calm repetition is practised, the child will know how serious you are. Always remember that whatever you sow in your children, that is what you reap. In parenting there is seed time and harvest. There is no time frame to the harvest. So start now to sow the right seed required.
3. Ask questions: Instead of yelling, ask questions. When there is room for negotiation, certain phrases can turn to arguments but turned into a healthy conversation. Create a room for the child to negotiate. Use simple short calm repetitive phrases, and allow children throw in their ideas or opinion. Ask questions in short phrases to enable some kids, kinesthetic children in particular to negotiate. When you don’t have time to negotiate, ask questions.
4. Be positive and clear: Being clear and direct about what you require is important. When giving direction or instruction, be specific and direct. Once you yell, your child picks self defense mechanism. Instead of connecting, your child is thinking of defence. And at this time, the ability to listen is taken away from the child instantly. Some children do not hear whatever you say at the point of yelling at them. The brain looks for a way to escape from the present situation. The brain works to preserve the human being, therefore it doesn’t comprehend yelling. For instant, use your child’s name while giving instructions and it gets the child’s attention. Be more apt and specific when directing instructions. An upset child is not a listening child.
5. Make it fun: Sometimes you just need to diffuse the intensity of the instruction. You get your child in the position where they are able to connect. You bring in fun into the activities of the moment and this helps the child connect. Yelling is like a fire alarm. We have a Yellometer, used from ages appropriate. It alerts you the parent when raised from 7-8, when it becomes dangerous. When raising your voice becomes dangerous, it acts as a fire alarm. If you are constantly yelling, it simply means you are raising an alarm consistently. The no yelling challenge has helped a lot of parents break free from yelling
6. Take a break: If it feels like one of the two parties is loosing control, call a break. This is also helpful with couples, friends…call a break when it gets overboard. Self reflection is a great skill, which can also be modeled to a child. Give that time out if the conversation is going to make a mess of your head. Teach your children conversational self control by modeling it to the child. Discipline is not meant for the public places, this shows that as a parent, you don’t need to discipline your child in the public. Disciplining a child in the public is actually embarrassing the child and not to discipline the child. Disciplining a child in the public means you need to validate that you are a good parent. You do not need people to validate your parenting if you are doing what is right. Your child can be corrected properly by not making it an emergency. When you make it an emergency, you will not think through your process and you will do things you will eventually regret. It takes emotional muscle to parent calmly. Aggression does not solve the problem.

We are launching the NO YELLING CHALLENGE this year again. Fee is N15,500 , but instead of N15,500, You get to Pay N5,999 only to be part of this challenge.

This is like paying practically nothing to get access to this challenge , Want this offer?

ONLINE PAYMENT
https://Selar.co/Noyellingchallenge

OFFLINE PAYMENT
Pay N5,999 to 0509494057, GTBank, The Intentional Parent Academy. After payment, send your full name, and proof of payment to WhatsApp +234 812 968 7040. I will show you how I got here to parent with peace and calm at that challenge; you too can .

https://anchor.fm/wendyologe/episodes/Episode-13-The-Journey-To-Version-3-7-e1gatjd