5 Secrets Of Raising Girls That Thrive

This blogpost is dedicated to celebrating the “International Day Of The Girl – Child” which held on the 11th of October 2022.In this blog post I will be on the secrets of raising the girl child that thrives. I have heard a number of people share on raising girls that thrive and one thing I take away from those sessions is that there is a faulty line in the way we are raising girls and the way we know to raise girls.

Raising a girl child that thrives takes a lot of intentionality which is important. When you look at the society and some of the decisions women/girls make, you can find that they boil down to how we were raised and programmed. When we understand the impacts on the girl child then we to begin to see things differently.

So what are the ways to raise a girl child that thrives?

There are many secrets to raising girls that thrive but in this blogpost you will get the tips and hacks but I promise it\’s going to be insightful and will also wet your appetite to seek for more knowledge.

1 . Praise her imperfections: There are lots of conversations and stories out there that say it\’s okay to praise how your girl child is performing, guide the child to find purpose and praise the things she does well, while I agree with such statements, there\’s actually much more.
You\’ll be surprised to learn that letting your daughter mess up is actually one of the best ways to build her confidence. There\’s this theory that girls are groomed to become perfectionist by being praised for the \”good girl behaviour” so she quickly learns that making mistakes means that she is not good enough. Looking at it critically, you\’ll see that one of the greatest battle of a girl child is SELF ESTEEM, this is because we raise the girl child with perfection in mind. Research has found that it is in the process of taking risks and messing up that confidence is built. We are always quick to jump in and do things for our children because we are so desperate for them to succeed. I teach parents to show their daughters that mistakes are part of life and one of the ways to do this is by teaching them. Start by letting your daughter know that you are not a perfect mother. The process of learning through trial and error is one of the things that build confidence.

2 . Build her emotional capacity, especially her social intelligent quotient: Conflict is inevitable, in fact it is said that conflict starts at the age of 2 and half. Girls usually show a lot of emotions so parents mistakenly believe that girls manage their emotions better which isn\’t true. Unfortunately, we teach girls very early to take care of other people’s emotions first. If you want to train a girl child that thrives, you need to teach her to own her emotions herself. When you put the burden of considering the emotions of others before hers, she will have the messiah mentality where she will think that for her to be happy, she needs to meet the demands of other people and will likely end up marrying the wrong person.

Another way is to build emotional capacity is to create opportunities to help her build circles whether it\’s a sports team, girls scout, friends etc. When you make your daughter feel that she doesn\’t need friends, you are killing them emotionally. For your girl child to express independence, and be able to express pride, it has to come from her working in a team with a common goal. So one of your responsibilities as a parent is to help your daughter find her tribe. Belonging is a need for a girl child.

The third step to building her emotional capacity is to let your daughter know that you love her unconditionally. When you claim to love your child unconditionally, she should be able to have from you the answers to these questions:
a. What do you think about me?
b. Do you understand me?
c. What are your hopes for me?
She must off the top of her head, be able to say this is what my parents think about me.

3 .Girls That Thrive Have Fathers That Are Involved: Research has shown that girls who are very confident are the ones who had their fathers get involved in their process or had a strong male figure. I have been studying the backgrounds of women who are captains of industry when you read about their history you will find that they had fathers who were involved. Growing up one of the best things that happened to me was having an involved father. Research has also shown that you can\’t build a certain level of confidence in your girl child except there\’s a strong male figure because the things a girl looks for in a mother is different from what she looks for in a father. An involved fatherhood helps the child get a wholesome template.

4 . Teach Your girl Child The Value of Real Beauty: It\’s quite saddening that the society puts a lot of value on outer beauty so instead of telling your child that they have a beautiful smile, look inward and praise something about them like the fact that they make people laugh. When you begin to teach your girls to understand the value of real beauty, true beauty, inner beauty, who they are, you teach your child to appreciate who they truly are.

My daughter had an interesting ordeal during her first term in secondary school, a girl walked up to her and told her that all the boys in school wanted to talk to her because she was beautiful and hot then my daughter responded by telling her that it was because she kept herself in a certain way that was why boys were flocking around her. This intereaction between my daughter and the girl in her school shows how we are raising our girl child with a lot of emphasis on how they look. Teach your daughter that the bargaining chip is beauty in the head and not beauty in the outward.

FATHERS CHANGING THE PARENTING GAME!

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