Oftentimes, discipline is seen as a negative aspect of parenting associated with punishment, yelling, and flogging. A large number of people believe so due to a lack of knowledge which is why many parents struggle with how best to discipline their children. When parents talk to me, they sound exhausted and almost at the point of giving up on parenting. Some go as far as tagging their children as bad because the children do not obey their instructions which results in yelling and beating.
Having worked with parents in the past 5 years, it\’s obvious that no parent enjoys beating their children. The reason why you always go for the alternative is that you are stressed and do not know what to do or understand how things should go.
The \”Understanding your child\’s learning style\” course started on Tuesday and after the first module, a lot of parents regret hitting their children because they now know better. When you yell and hit your children, you\’ve lost language and become violent. Repeated shouting and hitting can adversely impact your child\’s entire life. The long-term effects of repeated shouting and hitting can be detrimental to a child\’s overall well-being, creating toxic stress and causing negative outcomes. Instead, discipline should be viewed as a powerful tool for teaching and learning. It can help children develop important life skills and build strong, positive relationships with their caregivers. Discipline can also be used as an effective tool for building strong and positive relationships.
There are ways you can use discipline to help your child learn and at the same time grow and one of them is self-discipline skills.
Self-discipline skills should be the ultimate goal of any parenting strategy. While many of us may believe that we are already disciplined individuals we pride that we are a disciplined generation, the truth is that we often lack structure. Self-discipline involves creating a structure and committing to it, even in the face of challenges.
Teaching your child self-discipline can help them in various ways, including:
• Delaying gratification
•Resisting unhealthy temptations such as drug addiction or pornography
•Developing the ability to tolerate discomfort in order to reach long-term goals
Self-discipline is essential to helping your child become a responsible adult. There are eight effective ways that you can use to teach your child self-discipline.
1 . Structure: Establishing a daily routine for your child is essential for them to know what tasks they are expected to complete each day. By following a routine, they are less likely to get sidetracked by other distractions. For example, a well-structured morning routine will help your child wake up on time, have breakfast, brush their teeth, and get dressed. Similarly, a well-planned afternoon routine will enable them to allocate their time for completing chores and homework. Finally, a consistent bedtime routine will help them wind down and fall asleep more easily.
2 . Values And Not Rules: Establishing a strong value system for your child provides them with something concrete to rely on, beyond just enforcing rules. In today\’s world, where children are more daring and more inclined to take risks, having a set of values can prevent them from indulging in certain behavior. Rules are not bad but they are a subset of values. Values are fundamental principles that shape one\’s actions and decisions. By instilling these values in your children, you can transform the atmosphere of your home. Children are more likely to embrace and internalize values, rather than feeling coerced by rules.
3 . Consequences: A lot of parents jump in to bail their children at any given opportunity and if you continue, you make a mess. Instead, it\’s essential to teach children about the cause-and-effect relationship between their actions and consequences. In some cases, natural consequences can provide valuable life lessons. Natural consequences can teach some life lessons. When a child forgets to grab his coat and goes outside in the cold, the natural consequence is that he will end up feeling cold. Children need to know the importance of logical consequences. It helps you avoid a power struggle.
Forcing them to do something won\’t teach them self-discipline. The moment you begin to fight with your child, you begin to try to prove that you are his parent and that shows something is wrong. Explain the logical consequences to the child for making poor choices. Your child learns from consequences.
4 . Behavior: Parenting is a process and not a destination. When you make it a destination, you lose track. You need to shape behavior one step at a time and not look for a quick fix. Remember that it is not about your intention but about the process. The process is more important than the outcome because if the process is right, the outcome is going to be
right too but if you focus on the outcome, you miss the process.
5 . Positive Attention: Most times, we do not know how to point out good behaviors rather we criticize and complain always. You must give good attention and praise when your child demonstrates self-discipline. It helps the child do better.
6 . Problem-solving skills: Problem-solving is a core aspect of self-discipline. Teach your children how to solve problems. Many of our children can\’t solve problems on their own because we are constantly trying to solve problems for them. You can\’t raise a child who can\’t think independently without teaching them how to solve problems and your child can\’t learn if they can\’t solve problems.
7 . Modelling: Parenting is about you and not your child. Before you teach, you model. For instance, If you want your child to cultivate the habit of reading, you need to model it to them.
In conclusion, discipline is not about punishing your children for their mistakes. Discipline is about structure that helps build habits. As a parent, your goal in parenting is to build habits that last and skills that transform. If you cant build sustainable habits on your parenting journey, you may need to re-evaluate your approach.
Modules 1 – 4 of the Learning Styles Course 2023 have all gone live and in the words of one of our participants, this year’s Learning Style Course came with a lot of Intercontinental Ballistic Misslies of Knowledge.
Over 1,000 parents have joined this course as at today. Still in doubt on whether this course is for you , check out these reviews. You still have a chance to join and catch up on all of the modules so far.
To register, simply click here: https://selar.co/Learningstylecourse or pay N18,500 directly to 0509494057 (GTB). The Intentional Parent Academy. Send your proof of payment to 09036633600.