Help! My Child Isn’t Learning

Do you feel like your child is struggling with learning? Are you concerned about your child\’s academic progress? Are you wondering if your child struggles with poor attention span or has cognitive difficulties? Are you wondering if they are just slow learners or outrightly lazy learners?

If so, you are not alone. Many parents face these challenges, especially with the typical educational system that most schools adopt. Excitingly, today, we\’ll explore the reasons why some children struggle to learn and provide you with practical strategies that you can use to help your children succeed academically.


Last week, I had a session with a family and before I could commence with the child, the parents informed me that I needed to be patient with their son because according to them, he\’s not very smart. I was taken aback because they have labeled the boy. To them, it sounded good and okay but as a student of psychology, labeling a child is a problem. It creates a fixed mindset. When you see your child\’s academic results as an indication of the child\’s cognitive ability instead of a reflection of how the child is taught, then you miss it because a reflection of the child\’s academic result is how a child is taught, the child\’s study habits developed over time, and how much effort he has put in.

No child is dumb. Every child is born a genius but the way we parent them and the things we say to them are essential. If a child is not learning, it means that there is something wrong with the way the child is being taught. For your child to learn, even for adults, you need to recreate the system where your child has a dominant learning style. For instance, when we learned that our son is a kinesthetic learner, I started buying books with cartoon characters to get him to key into what we wanted him to learn, and then found a school that understood his learning style. Now he learns through auditory and visual but he\’s predominantly a kinesthetic learner. The most powerful thing any child needs to be taught is learning as a skill. It gives you and your child a good understanding and also put a stop to hiring a home lesson tutor.


However, when it comes to labeling, be it positive or negative, can be harmful. Research shows that constantly telling your child that he is smart can be bad for the child. Labeling positively or negatively creates a fixed mindset. It creates an identity the child feels compelled to protect at all costs and which can be dangerous. The book, \”Mindset- The New Psychology of Success\” by Professor Carol Derwick, shows that people who are praised for inert intelligence tend to shy away or give up quickly on challenges that threaten their smart identity. So a child with a fixed mindset, their self-worth is all about passing exams. An individual\’s mindset plays an important role.

The growth mindset says, \” I can learn to do anything I want but a fixed mindset says, \”I am good at this or I am not good at this.\”

The growth mindset says, \”my effort determines my ability but a fixed mindset says, \”my potential is predetermined.

The growth mindset says, \”I\’m inspired, motivated, and challenged by the success of others but a fixed mindset says, \”I don\’t like to be challenged. I just want to stay in what I know. I\’m not moved by the success of others.\”

The growth mindset says, \”challenges help me grow but a fixed mindset takes feedback personally. It easily gives up when faced with a challenge or hit a roadblock.



Neuroscience shows that our brain can rewire and upgrade itself to gain competence, and new skill and consolidate a piece of new knowledge. The effort, strain, and struggles the child puts up enables the brain to step up. To begin to teach your children to learn, you should:


1.Teach Them To Honor Struggles. As a parent, you should avoid jumping in to rescue your children at any slightest mistake. When a new concept or difficulty is introduced, the brain rises to step up the neurons in the brain, and string them together to consolidate the information and through that process, it\’s called Myelination. The neural network is wired together timely. Children build confidence when they struggle and overcome.

2 . Do Not Label But Commend Their Efforts. Let your child know that learning is in the process and the effort they put in. Do not applaud the child when he doesn\’t do things right, especially when you are busy. Tell the child in direct terms what he needs to do right, where he needs to put in more effort, or where he needs to do some corrections.

3 . Understand Your Child\’s Learning Style. Understanding your child\’s learning style is a game changer for you and your child. It does not only help your child learn but also helps you to know the disciplinary strategy that is effective for your child. For instance, when correcting a visual learner and you are just talking, the child will be distracted and won\’t take the corrections but an auditory learner will listen more to what is being said. Also, get your children to do their research about learning and understanding their learning styles.

4 . Help Your Child Build Focus And Improve Memory. To build focus, you have to help your child increase their capacity to pay attention. The focus ability is dwindling every day because we keep our children on the screen daily. The more you keep your child on the screen, the more they struggle. The screen takes away concentration and the ability to focus. A child under 2 years of age has no business with the screen no matter what you think the child is learning.

5 . Create A Structure And Stick To A Daily Habit. Unpredictability is an enemy of intentional parenting. Having a structureless system where the children wake up to do anything they want won\’t help them. What makes your child exceptional are habits that last and skills that can transform.

6 . Understand Your Learning Style. Some parents teach their children according to their own(parents) learning styles. Knowing and understanding your learning style will help you to know how to teach your child and not teach by assumption.

7 . Create A Study Habit. Teach your children study habits. Allocate a time and a place where studying should take place at home. It is your responsibility as a parent to understand your children\’s learning style and make them run with it. It is a game changer. Applying the above steps will help you understand their learning style and also yours. The challenge is that a lot of us were raised with a fixed mindset and that\’s why we struggle. There is a time that learning and understanding your child\’s learning style will be of no use.


Do you know that understanding your child\’s learning style might be the singular solution to her learning difficulties really?

In the Academy, we run a course where we just don\’t teach parents how to identify the learning styles of their children, we also teach them how to use this learning styles to make their children study effectively and even discipline them correctly.

Do you also know that until you understand how your child learns your discipline will not be effective.

Do you know how your child learns?Could your child be struggling to learn that thing you are teaching because you are not teaching with her dominant learning style?

Register for our upcoming course \”Understanding your child\’s learning style\” starting March 28th, 2023. Our second Early bird offer ends in 5 days.

A particular parent after going through the course said \”I wish I knew this 20 years ago, I won\’t have had the power struggles I had with my son \”

This could be the singular most important thing you should know about your child. Join 800 parents currently on board this train to understanding how their children learns

Register for the Learning Style Course : or pay #15,500 (instead of 20,500, offer expires in 5days) to 0509494057 (GTB). The Intentional Parent Academy. Send proof to 09036633600.


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