Blog

How To Help Your Child Regulate Their Emotions

As I watched this 12-year-old smash his phone because he was struggling to get the game working and was visibly frustrated. I couldn\’t help but worry about what kind of adult he will become if he is not taught how to regulate his emotions now!

Emotional regulation is one of the challenges parents encounter. Ironically, parents blame their children for how they handle their emotions but in my many years of practice, I have seen that most children regulate their emotions the same way they have been modeled to. So in essence, for a child, emotional regulation is primarily learned at home. Some people will say that they can manage their emotions but in the fact, they are either repressing or suppressing their emotions. Repressing or suppressing emotions is not the same as regulating emotions. You repress your emotions when you UNCONSCIOUSLY put down your emotions and you suppress when you CONSCIOUSLY put down your emotions. A lot of parents find it difficult to manage their emotions so they repress, suppress, or just erupt. When our children behave in the same manner, we have a problem with it. You don\’t realize that it affects the people around you but when they act similarly, you begin to see it as a problem. Managing emotions is an indispensable skill parents need to learn.

Here Are Six Simple Steps to Help Your Child With Emotions Regulation:

  1. Labelling Emotions: You can\’t manage your emotions if you can\’t interpret them. This is one of the most important things parents can do for their children but it becomes a problem because most parents do not have an idea of what labeling emotions is all about. Some parents interpret frustration as anger. Some label disappointment as sadness. Teach your child to know what they are feeling at the time. Once you can put your emotions in perspective, you can control other aspects of your life. You won\’t struggle and parenting becomes easier.
  2. Recognizing Their Feelings: When your children are still babies, you should be able to label their emotions for them. For example, if your 3-year-old is having a meltdown, you can label the emotions by saying, \” I know you are feeling disappointed because mummy didn\’t give you the toy, right? Or, \” you are angry because daddy said no.” Or, \” you feel sad because we want to leave the park? It\’s okay but this is why we need to leave.” This will help your children to pair their emotions with how they feel and also understand how they feel but if you do not have these vocabularies, you can\’t share them.
  3. Explain to Them What Their Bodies Experience When The Emotions Are Ongoing: There are some physical sensations in your body when you recognize how you feel emotionally. For instance, when you are angry, your muscles tighten up or get tensed up. Sometimes your head is foggy and your mouth becomes dry.
  4. Validate Their Emotions: Don’t dismiss how they are feeling by telling them things like, \” Okay, there is nothing wrong with you.” Or, \” there\’s nothing to be scared of.” Saying all that is for them to feel better but comments like this make a child think that their feelings must be wrong. Your child will learn not to trust their feelings but it will be more helpful when you acknowledge how they feel. Even so, normalizing their experience by offering suggestions for dealing with the feeling helps, e.g: a lot of children feel nervous on their first day of school. You can say, \” I know you feel scared now. Sometimes what you think will be scary turns out not to be after all. Do you still remember how you handled your first visit to the doctor\’s office?” That\’s validation and there is nothing quite effective as drawing upon real-life lessons.
  5. Allow Them To Express Their Feelings Even if They Are Different From Yours: Children who are not allowed to express how they feel will learn that it\’s not safe to express emotions so they learn to repress their emotions. It is wrong for parents to ask their children why they are angry or tell them that they don\’t have the right to get angry. They will still feel the feelings but will continue to shove those feelings deep down until they can\’t fit in any emotions and then, boom! They explode. All those feelings that they have not been able to express will come bubbling up to the surface. When that happens, the parents become surprised by the outburst but the truth of the matter is that the child has been repressing and suppressing his emotions because you\’ve not allowed him to express how he feels.
  6. Teach Coping Skills: Many parents expect their children to know how to cope but they can\’t because they are not taught. Before you teach your child, you need to learn. Teach them to;
  7. Ask others to help or assist when needed.
  8. Take responsibility for the situation.
  9. Engage in problem-solving.
  10. Positive thinking.

Becoming an Emotionally intelligent parent is one of the major courses we run in the academy.

You can register for the 2023 cohort here

Without Emotional Intelligence you won\’t succeed but struggle. In order to manage your emotions, you need to go through a curriculum because if you don\’t go through a curriculum, you can’t solve the problem. The ability to regulate emotions affects every area of your child\’s life, their education, mental health, relationship with others, ability to bounce back from difficulty, self-esteem, etc. Let your child know that being angry, sad, or disappointed is okay but the key is how you as the parent manage the emotions. These negative emotions are data that the child will need to work on to make himself a better person.

Separate emotions from the behavior so that you can teach appropriate expression of emotion and not stop the expression of the behavior You are the first beneficiary of your ineffective parenting. If you don\’t teach your children these things, the first person they\’ll give it to is you. Before society will come to terms with a child that\’s not responsible, you\’ll experience it first-hand and that\’s how it is with managing emotions.

\"\"

DO YOU WANT YOUR CHILD TO BECOME THE ADULT YOU ARE?

I remember hearing my father say to me “When I got married, I desired that my children won\’t get this and that of my characteristics”… What he never said to me was if he worked on himself to become a better version of him in those areas but I didn\’t bother because the answers were staring me right in the face.

My father\’s ability to manage his emotions just like many parents in that generation was one of his parenting struggles… He only wished that his children managed their emotions differently but did nothing about it.

We all hated the fact that my father couldn\’t deal with that part of his life and did we want to become like that? None of us wanted that part of him.

I became a parent and found emotional intelligence to be a Core to the overall success of my children; I didn\’t have a well-developed one and boom, I chased it like my life was dependent on it. But I didn\’t just wish it or only pray it, I worked hard to build myself to become a new version of myself.

I will be sharing and walking with parents through all of my processes in the past 10 years of this journey at the BECOMING AN EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT PARENT course coming up at the TIP academy on the 10th of February. You should register Now!

You can register here: https://selar.co/emotionalintelligentparent

That\’s where my favorite quote from my bestseller Connect To Correct originated from “PARENTING IS ABOUT ME NOT MY CHILD”. I understood that if I do nothing as my father did, then I can\’t replicate the results I have today…..I would be in that place where this question will be a struggle.

When you ask yourself this question today “Do you want your children to become the adult you are?

What response comes to mind?

Pause and give a sincere answer…If the answer is neither here nor there, you need to work on yourself before you blame your child.

A few days ago I asked the parents in our inner circle program this same question and most of them sincerely X-rayed themselves on it and gave answers that would change the course of their lives in the next 30 years. In the conversation, a parent said to me “Coach I am weeping reading these, I am making a vow to become all I can, a better version of me”.

Are you committing to becoming better?
I say that if your parenting isn\’t changing you, you are not parenting effectively… My biggest growth in life has been the one that happened between 2010 When I became a parent and now! Parenting became my superpower.

Anytime I look back, I am so grateful I became a parent but you know what? I was working to become better.. Today I can confidently say, I want my child to become the adult I am today. Okay over to you Are you that person you want your child to become? Would a better version of you do your child some More good? You should start today and join our upcoming course. Want more details on the Upcoming course chat : 0903 663 3600

How To Eliminate Fear On Your Parenting Journey

Fear is one of the most powerful emotions, it has an extremely strong impact on your mind and body. It makes you do a whole lot of things when it comes to parenting such as yelling, hitting, controlling, and taking things out of proportion. At times, we judge parents who use harsh discipline on their children, and we also judge those who just let their children have their way. These two extremes are not the way to go but one thing I have come to realize, behind all of them is that fear is the driving force.

Most parents are afraid that they will fail. Even the ones that seem to have it all figured out are afraid that they might fail after doing all that they know to do.
Fear tries you emotionally and sometimes cripples you but parenting from a place of anxiety won\’t help you either. The idea is to bring to light ways by which you can get rid of fear in your parenting journey but let\’s take a look at the effects of parenting with fear.

  1. Your children aren\’t learning: In my book, \”Raising an independent thinking child”, I wrote about how and why your child can learn through failures and mistakes. Learning through mistakes is an asset and also a part of development. I\’ve seen that a lot of children don\’t learn through mistakes because their parents don\’t want them to fail. These parents can do anything to stop the child from failing including doing the wrong things. Doing so robs the child of the opportunity to fail and learn because he needs to fail so he can learn, grow, and gain confidence.
  2. Stop them from making their own decisions: Many parents can\’t stand their children taking decisions on their own because they are afraid that will make mistakes or that something might happen to them. Stopping them won\’t bring to an end whatever you are afraid of rather the happenings in the world will get worse. So it\’s best to prepare them for the future because you won\’t be available all the time.
  3. Raising children with low self-esteem: Self-esteem comes from competence and confidence are built on competence. Until the children do, they can\’t evolve and it\’s in your evolving that you gain confidence. A lot of adults are dealing with low self-esteem and cover it up by being rude. Low self-esteem is a result of battered childhood because the opportunity to speak or express oneself wasn\’t given.
  4. Fear of future outcome: A lot of parents live the lives of their children by projecting the things that will happen in the child\’s life in the future. For example, some parents envision that by age 20, their kids will be out of the school system and ready for job opportunities. So you get to see an 8year old already in 7th grade just so he can meet up with the parent\’s predictions.
  5. Limiting the children by your fears: Most times, children\’s efforts are limited by the parents because of their childhood experiences. I remember when I didn\’t buy into the idea of the twins nor I learning how to swim because of the loss of someone via drowning. I didn\’t know that the trauma affected me till I got helped and faced my fears.

I know that you are wondering how you should eliminate fear-based parenting?

Parenting from a place of calm is attainable but you need to empower yourself with the mastery needed such as;
1 . Knowledge : When you are faced with fear and at the same time armed with knowledge, you\’ll know the right step to take. That\’s why the scripture says that wisdom and knowledge are the stability of our time. Lack of knowledge brings about weariness and struggles in your parenting journey.

2 . Believe that you can: Many of us do not believe that we are capable of raising effective children. If you don\’t believe the message( the child) and the messenger( you as the parent), you won\’t get anywhere or achieve anything. Parenting isn\’t perfection. You don\’t have to be perfect to become a good parent but you need to be trained to become a better parent and for you to succeed, you need to be humble enough to be trained.

3 . Have a vision, mission, and values: A lot of parents do not even know where they are headed in their parenting journey while some don\’t even know if they are applying the right principles. Create values, visions, and missions that guide your family because it helps to put structures in your home.

4 . Read: Readers are leaders! As parents, you ought to read voraciously to acquire the knowledge needed. There\’s a lot to learn so you must read. I have written books on parenting and they are just what the doctor ordered. In this time and era, we have gone past parenting with intuitions and experiences. Garner up knowledge because knowledge dispels fears. Knowledge gives you the courage to walk in the presence of fear. It also gives you a soft landing when faced with chaos.

\"\"

Are you struggling to find meaningful ways to connect with your family during the holiday season? Our intentional Christmas bundle is here to help!

With our carefully curated selection of activities and resources, you\’ll have everything you need to create meaningful traditions and build deeper connections with your children. From our 12 day Christmas calendar to age appropriate movie sections , these tools will help you make the most of your time together and create lasting memories.

Imagine spending quality time with your family, laughing and learning together as you create new traditions and strengthen your bond. With our intentional Christmas bundle, you can make this a reality and give your loved ones the gift of deeper connection this holiday season.

Order now and get started giving your children the best holiday they have ever had. Don\’t miss out on this opportunity to create lasting memories and make the most of your holiday season.

Click here https://selar.co/Intentionalchristmasbundle to get your copy of the Intentional Christmas Bundle. You can pay offline to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment to 08129687040.

©️The Intentional Parent Academy™️

Creating Christmas Rituals In Your Family

It has become a standard for parents to get pressurized during the festive season. For some parents, they go to extreme measures just to make sure that a lot happens even when the finance to facilitate such isn\’t readily available. Cooking every day, Attending every occasion, and Buying new clothes for every member of the family. Surprisingly, this pattern didn\’t just start in our era but has been passed from generation to generation and the essence of Christmas is disregarded.

Growing up, we looked forward to Christmas until we started becoming senior teens. My parents had great plans for us as children, but like many parents, they lost track of them as we grew older. I often say that parenting skills change as your children grow. Worse still in this era, parents don\’t create plans anymore because of many factors. Holidays should have routines, structures, and plans. You don\’t leave it to chance. They are a huge part of your parenting plan.

Creating family rituals should be one of your family values. In my home, we have created an intentional structure for holidays, nothing is left to chance. The structures might be different in many homes but the templates and principles behind them are the same. However, before we dive into our main topic for today, I would likehighlight 6 things Christmas is not.

\"\"

Christmas is:

  1. Not an emergency. Christmas is not the time for you to run helter-skelter just to finish what you weren\’t able to do,e.g, buying \’christmas clothes\’ or stocking up your pantry etc.
  2. Not about spending money. A lot of parents think that the holiday season is the period you get to spend all you labored and saved up throughout the year. It is not!
  3. Not a burden. Christmas is also not the time to take up the heavy load of thinking of where to borrow money and spend just for the holiday. Do not worry your head because worry will wear you out.
  4. Not a time of pressure. Some parents are already feeling agitated because they have not fulfilled the rituals of buying Christmas clothes for their children. It\’s not stated anywhere in the constitution that special clothes must be bought during the Christmas holidays. What happens when you put pressure on yourself, it spoils the mood in the home, and when that happens, it trickles down to the kids and there will be no harmony because everyone is irritable.
  5. Not a time to ship the kids to relatives. Do not get me wrong, a lot happens to the children during that period. Children can be molested or abused by cousins, uncles, or aunts. It is your responsibility as a parent to protect your children.
  6. Not a time for a competition. The holiday season is not the time to \’pepper Dem \’ [show off] or compete with family members. If you can not afford to get new outfits, you can comfortably wear the ones you have. Surprisingly, the people you want to show off for won\’t even notice your change of wardrobe.
\"\"

Christmas Is The Time Of :


1 . Bonding with family: Many parents have asked, \”Coach how do I bond with my children during the festive period?\” There are many ways by which you can bond with your children. It can be through the activities you do as a family. It is one of the reasons why I came up with the intentional Christmas bundle. It is packed with a lot of fun activities that you can do on daily basis. Your children need and cherish the times you spend in gatherings.

Christmas is a time that is ought to be looked forward to not because of the wining and dining or the new clothes but because of the beautiful memories created.

2 . Being thankful : In the inner circle, we started with teaching the level 1 how to keep gratitude journals. Gratitude makes you focus on things you have and not get worried over things you don\’t have and can\’t control. It helps you focus on the people you are blessed and surrounded with and adds value to you.

3 . Gift giving: Most people think that before you give someone a gift, it must be a huge and expensive one. Gift giving is not about the size or price but the thought that comes with the gift. Teach your children how to give gifts because a lot of us grew up not knowing how to receive gifts because we were not taught how to and so you feel undeserving when someone gives you.

\"\"

4 . Connections, Conversations, and Communications: It brings the opportunity for you to connect with your kids, have valuable conversations, and learn how to communicate with them. Connection is the first tool in parenting because parenting is a game of influence and not a game of force. Look for things that can facilitate the connection. It can be games, puzzles, or movies. Many of us are raising children we do not know. If you do not know your child, you can\’t parent effectively. If you don\’t spend time with your child, you won\’t know who he/she is. Do not let them spend their holiday in front of the screen at all times just because they are not in session. Bond with them by connecting and being present. Presence doesn\’t just entail being there physically, it\’s about the content and quality of the time spent with the children. People think that an absent parent isn\’t physically available. Some parents can be present yet absent.

6 . Fun: It should be fun fun fun!!! Create activities that the children will look forward to once they get out of bed. I created the intentional Christmas bundle so that parents can plan the holiday with everyone included. Put up structures and routines because they are the bane of effective parenting. The structure protects the children at home because they are guided by it.

\"\"

In conclusion, Christmas shouldn\’t be that time of the year when parents should allow the festive fever to get to them. Do not be under pressure to do more than you can handle, nobody will die! Dedicate the holiday to relaxing, spending time with loved ones, and creating everlasting memories. Enjoy simple things TOGETHER. Real joy is found in togetherness. Get a copy of the intentional christmas bundle and it will aid you in creating rituals in your family.

\"\"


Check out our Intentional Christmas bundle and all you get in this Bundle :
🔺Intentional Christmas 12 day planner
🔺Christmas Family Traditions
🔺Christmas Activity Planner
🔺Christmas Bucketlist
🔺Holiday Event list
🔺Plain December Calendar
🔺Budget Planner
🔺Christmas gifts guide
🔺Family Outfit planner
🔺Christmas / Holiday Party Planner
🔺Menu Planner
🔺Age Specific Movie Guide
If you\’ve gotten any of our academy bundles the you know what to expect.
Value Overload.

Remember that Christmas is not an emergency, today is a great time to start your plans. To purchase a copy of The Intentional Christmas Bundle, pay #3,000 to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040. You can purchase online using this link: https://selar.co/Intentionalchristmasbundle

How To Evaluate Your Parenting Journey In 2022

Have you ever wondered to yourself ; Am I doing this parenting right? Are there things I should be doing , that I aren’t doing ?

Is there more ?

Oh yesssss! There are questions you must ask to find answers because great Parents are not born, they are made. Self evaluation is an integral part of being a great Parent . You must be able to review your journey for success, if you don’t access your journey you will fail. Many times one of the things that happen to us on the journey of parenting is that we do not understand how much parenting needs to be trained. Parenting doesn’t need perfection, parenting needs you to be trained, and when you get trained you also learn how to create plans, structures, and systems.

When you have plans and systems you know what to review, Parents in our inner circle program will understand this blog post better because they already have the parameters and tools to review their journey.

Send a chat to 0812 968 7040 to learn more about the Inner Circle Program

So What Are The areas you need to evaluate in 2022?

These areas I will be highlighting are not to overwhelm you but for you to sit down and begin to think about your process “What are you doing right? What are you not doing right, where will you need to put in the work etc. Evaluating your parenting journey will help you to know what is wrong and also helps you to know where you are going.

  1. Love and Affection: Love and affection? I know you are wondering how to evaluate your love and affection. A lot of the time I tell parents that knowing that you love their child is not enough, showing that you love your child is very key. There are many parameters that you can use to measure love and affection and they include :
    i. Connection with your children
    ii. How much time do you spend with them
  2. Time and Stress Management: The problem is not how much you have to do, the problem is in your ability to manage what you have on your table. We all have 24 hours and if you are not careful you will not be able to use them well. People often wonder how I do all I do, here is a big secret “if you can manage your time, you will be able to achieve more on your journey “ One of the masterclasses we hold in the Inner circle is how to manage your time and stress, one parent in the inner circle shared that this webinar on particular transformed her entire life. So your problem is not that you don\’t have time or you have a lot to do, your problem is that you don\’t know how to manage your time. So you want to evaluate your time and stress management to see where you are now. I have also found that a lot of parents best their children when they are stressed, if your stress level is not well managed your parenting will joy be successful.
  3. Relationship Skills: One of the very first things you learn in the Academy is how to “Create a social roadmap for your Genzer”. If you created this roadmap you should begin to look at it and where you are now.

This roadmap includes your own relationship, during one of our masterclasses on Legacy the academy I mentioned that your children should be able to inherit relationships that are strategic from you.

  1. Autonomy and Independence: You need to be able to measure how independent your kids are. One of the challenges we face in our clime is that we find children who are too dependent on us and that\’s why we have “30-year-olds who still live with their parents “.
    The more independent your child is, the less stressful your journey becomes, an unskilled child is a burden to you.

One of the things I shared in my latest book “Raising The Independent Thinking Child” is that independence starts from the day you have your child. When you think of independence you should think of it from the perspective of how your child can survive without you, there is a level of independence that even a child should have at every point in time. When you are raising children, your goal should be independence at every point in time.

  1. Education and Learning: When you learn more, your children become better at it. Your children are a product of the following;
    I. What you know
    ii. Where they were raised
    iii. Who raised them, these are very important. A lot of us were not taught to learn, so you need to measure how much you have learned from last year to this year on your journey, how much more have you been to add to your journey, and what more are you adding to your children. Whenever our children are coming back from school, My husband and I always benchmark ourselves over what new thing can we can become for our children.

In 2023, your children are requiring wisdom and not just parenting, they are not only interested in instructions, but you are also interested in wisdom so wisdom is a major part of your parenting. You need to be intelligent in the aspect of parenting. Have valuable are you to your children? Until you create a system of value, no one will come to you. Parenting is like a race, you are constantly benchmarking yourself with yourself. As your children are coming home, what new things have you added to yourself?

  1. Emotions Management: How have you been able to work and manage your emotion in 2022?Intentional parenting is about having a hold of your emotions.
  2. Disciplinary & Behavioural Management:
    Do you have a disciplinary plan in your home? Unpredictability is one of worst tools you want to employ in your parenting. Children don\’t thrive in unpredictability and this is a lack of discipline.
\"\"

Christmas for me is about making memories with your family and this can be achieved by just creating activities that will help you and your family bond.

These activities are not about how big or expensive they are , what is important are they connection that make with your family.

Want to make this Christmas extra special for your family? Check out all you get in our Intentional Christmas Bundle

🔺Intentional Christmas 12 day planner
🔺Christmas Family Traditions
🔺Christmas Activity Planner
🔺Christmas Bucketlist
🔺Holiday Event list
🔺Plain December Calendar
🔺Budget Planner
🔺Christmas gifts guide
🔺Family Outfit planner
🔺Christmas / Holiday Party Planner
🔺Menu Planner
🔺Age Specific Movie Guide

If you\’ve gotten any of our academy bundles the you know what to expect. Remember that Christmas is not an emergency, today is a great time to start your plans. To purchase a copy of The Intentional Christmas Bundle, pay #2000 ($5) to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040.

You can purchase online using this link: https://selar.co/Intentionalchristmasbundle

How To Equip Your Child For A Changing World

It is no longer news that we are raising children in a rapidly changing world. In reality, we are not only raising them in a changing world but also raising them for an unknown future. As the world transitions, we must rethink our approach to parenting. Inventions and innovations spring up every day and our values and orientations are being challenged. Life has transitioned from an analog era to a digital one where everything is smoother, easier, and faster with each passing day.

As you read on, I want you to start thinking and positioning yourself about parenting in 30 years to come because nothing will change. Things won\’t go back to the way they were, rather they will become more complex in years to come so when you raise a gutless child, you\’ll be creating a big problem for him because he won\’t be able survive what\’s in the world. The question remains, how are you prepared for what will come?

As a parent, you need to recognize these changes, understand what is going on and how to tackle them. Below are some of the changes that we will encounter:

  1. Purpose, Meaning, and Sincerity: In the times that we are on now, people do not do things with intent. Sincerity is no longer a priority for doing things because we are in a tech world that has become a tool to create something meaningful or bad. The core reason for tech is to deaden the conscience.
  2. Freedom: Because tech is available to all and sundry, it has offered free access for people to behave as they like and for their behavior to be accepted. People come online dressed as they like, say uncouth things, and they\’ll be condoned.
  3. Low focus level: Tech reduces/ crashes one’s focus. People do a lot of things just to channel attention to themselves which in turn can take our children’s focus off what\’s not necessary.
  4. Self-love: People will go to any length to make the world revolve around them. So no one would care if what he/she is doing will harm others. It\’s all about self-gratification.

So how prepared is your child for an unknown future? What skill sets do you need to equip them with to thrive in a changing world? Time will fail me to mention all the skill sets required but here are some that I have narrowed down.

\"\"

1 . Communication and relationship skills: There is no fruitfulness without a relationship. The closer your relationship with those that matter, the more your child will be able to make a transgenerational impact. If you fail to teach your child how to communicate and connect physically in the world we are in now, they\’ll struggle. Your child will be able to have something \’extra’ to position themselves and that \’extra’ is what you\’ll equip your child with. The more you put your child to the screen, the less your child becomes able to build social skills.

2 . Spiritual skills: Being spiritual isn\’t about going to church every Sunday or staying there from 8 am to 4 pm. It is about raising children who will have a personal relationship with their maker and hear from Him. We are in perilous times so you have to raise a child that is spiritually grounded.

3 . Focus: You need everything you can lay your hands on to build focus in your children. In the inner circle, our curriculum is mainly based on activities that will help you teach your children how to focus. The level of attention and attention span will diminish in years to come so the little number of kids who are raised to focus will make the difference. The focus will become key.

It\’s 4 days to the start of the 2023 cohort of the inner circle. Send a chat to 08129697040 to register now!

4 . Critical thinking: He who knows why is better than he who knows how. In my recent book titled, “Raising The Independent Thinking Child” I emphasized ways by which parents can raise a child who can think because I found out that we were raised not to think but to follow instructions. We were raised with how and not why and that\’s why some of us still tow the same path our parents did. The child you give only instructions to in this era won\’t survive because the world is no longer the same. If you parent only on instructions then you\’ll raise children who would not be able to think. The idea is to raise a child who can find fulfillment in God’s order of who and what the child is called to do.

\"\"

5 . Agility and adaptability skills: The world we are living in is full of adversity, persecution, and bullying, and most children are not ready for such. The reason is that their parents are always ready to bail them out or fight whoever offends their children be it in school or elsewhere. The chaos in the world is so much and it won\’t stop so for how long will you bail your child out of every situation? You need to equip them with this skill to withstand any pressure that comes.

6 . Values: Values are one of the necessities of life. It is a structure on which families are built. Values guide one\’s thoughts, words, and actions. However, it is not all about creating values but how you run with them.

7 . Learnability and self-development skills: It starts with you. What and how you model yourself to your children is important. Teach them how to develop themselves. Educate them on the importance of being open to learning and discovering.

8 . Initiative and entrepreneurship skills: It doesn\’t matter if your child will be an entrepreneur or not. What matters is that your child will be able to build initiative and entrepreneurship in their journey because that\’s what the changing world will look like. It’s not going to be about going to school, getting good grades, and securing a good job to take care of their immediate family.

9 . Assessing and analyzing information skills: If your children can\’t assess and analyze information and take the important ones, then it will be a problem. In this changing world, they should be able to study and scrutinize information, decide the ones that will be of benefit, and when they will make use of the information because the internet is filled with a mirage of information.

10 . Curiosity and imagination skills: A child who can\’t be imaginative or ask questions based on what he can build from his inside will be a consumer for life. Many parents say that the reason why they allow their children on social media is to learn tech. I laugh because social media doesn\’t teach tech and they can\’t learn tech on social media rather they become social media-savvy children. They can\’t learn on social media because they are stuck to what others are offering and won\’t have the opportunity to become creative.

\"\"

Parents, the future is 30 years and what will come will come. You can\’t wish or pray it away. Stop thinking about time and think about your role in humanity. That is what it means to equip your child for the future.
To thrive in a changing world, academic competence alone will fail your child. The changing world is no more demanding that. Do not let them become mediocre and believe that normal is okay. Encourage them to pursue for more.

\"\"

ONLY 4 DAYS TO GO and the 2023 Cohort of the Inner Circle program of the TIP Academy will take off.You snooze you miss! Inner Circle Program 2023 Cohort is about to begin with a bang. Are you already in the Yard? Or still on the waiting list? OVER 1,500 incoming yarders are already getting ready and set for the induction baptism.

Remember you will only get access if you have completed your fees and filled your authentication forms. We will shut down registration soon. TIP is the EXPECTATION
Looking forward to working with thousands of families this year . Are you in already?

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE INNER CIRCLE

  1. HOW MUCH DOES THIS COST?

The annual subscription fee for the program is N70, 000 . You book a slot at the enquiry desk with a non-refundable fee of N5,000 for 2023 cohort, and pay your annual fee of N65,000 which you can decide to pay at once N70,000

2 . CAN I PAY ON INSTALLMENTS?

Yes, after the initial non-refundable fee of N5,000, you can spread the fee through the year (2-3 installments) but you must have completed payment before we resume on 1st December 2022.

3 . CAN MY SPOUSE ENROLL?

Yes couple fee is N120,000 instead of N140,000 (Registration inclusive), so you get to save N20,000 as a couple, because we want to encourage couples to go on this journey together.

4 . DO WE STILL HAVE SLOTS?

We currently have slots booked to over 80% of our capacity, and we will stop registration as soon as max our capacity. Slots are filling up quickly, so jump on-board now.

5 . HOW DO I MAKE PAYMENT?

Simply book by using this link https://selar.co/tipinnercircle or make direct payment to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy, then send a chat with proof of payment to 08129687040.

Raising Sexually Pure Teens Starts with You

When it comes to sexual purity and raising teenagers, parents tend to give their children the load of becoming sexually pure, forgetting that raising sexually pure teenagers first begins non-verbally.

It\’s not about what you say, it\’s about what you are not saying. It is about the things that you are doing around your home. It is about you as an individual, and what you are going to be able to offer. Do you know that your value system will play a significant role in how sexually pure your child will be as they reach adulthood?

Parents are the most influential persons in their child\’s life so their behavior, and their attitude about sex both spoken and unspoken will be imprinted in the life of their children.

\"\"

Most times purity is mistaken for virginity but there\’s a huge difference. Purity is a higher level of virginity because some people are impure in their way of life and most people isolate themselves when the issue of purity comes up. In commemorating World Sexual Purity Day, we\’ll look at ways in which raising sexually pure teens starts with you.

Simply put, purity is a state of cleanliness, a state of not being contaminated in terms of your thoughts, actions, and words. Purity is a lifestyle. It is also a decision one takes and can be handed to the next generation.
The lack of purity in a home can affect the children, their peers, and the family system, and then the world becomes a terrible place. Because most parents were raised to be hypocritical, they tend to teach sexual purity as burdensome, and it\’s one of the challenges. When you make it all about sex and do not infuse fun content while talking to teenagers, you\’ll throw them off because some of them are not sexually active. Remember, sexual purity isn\’t all about sex!

\"\"

What Ways Can You Teach Sexual Purity to Your Teens?

For you to go about it the right way and manner, you need to first know your perspective on purity. I always tell the parents in the inner circle that as a parent, you are the curriculum when it comes to sex education/purity. Purity is a lifestyle, it shows in our day-to-day activities. Below are some other ways by which you can influence and educate your teen.

\"\"

1 . Conversation: When talking or \”gisting\” with your children, find a way to educate and inform them about purity/ sex education. Most times parents believe that sex education should be just for girls and that\’s why boys are isolated. Purity is for both genders. Also, let your children know that it\’s your responsibility to assist them and not live or control their lives. It is advisable not to lay accusations on them based on your assumptions.

2 . The People you follow on social media: Recall that purity is a lifestyle. Your children are observing and taking note of the people you admire for their lifestyle matters. They are observing and taking note of the people you follow, cheer on, and like their posts. When what you say doesn\’t comply with what you do, they\’ll tag you as a hypocrite.

4 . Value system: Value is a concept in which much is said but little is understood and done. Your values reveal your priorities. The core of every family, society, or nation lies in its value system. Who you appreciate on social media or the people in your circle are part of your value system. It shows your children who you cherish or hold in high esteem.

5 . Dress Sense and Choice of Songs: There\’s a saying that goes, \”you are addressed based on how you dress.” As a parent, you don\’t do as you wish, you are your child\’s role model and sometimes we think that our children are not old enough to dissect our lifestyle. Do not wear revealing clothes all in the name of being \”sexy” or applauding a \”celebrity” who dresses scantily all in the name of \”wokeness”

Recently, the lyrics of some secular songs are nothing to write home about and as a parent, when you sing along and nod to the rhythm of the song, be mindful of the fact that you have unconsciously disempowered your child.

6 . Ability to analyze events or circumstances judiciously : How do you handle matters especially when thrown at you by your teenager? For instance, your child can ask for your opinion on the issue of baby mama which is rampant in society. Remember, that your children will hold you accountable for every piece of information or opinion you give out. Sometimes, they are guided by it.

\"\"

SEX EDUCATE YOUR CHILD LIKE A PRO

When I wrote the first volume of this book, I realized that knowledge around this conversation is so fluid and if parents are not updated on it, we will miss it with our children. I see that one of the most disempowering things we teach children about this conversation everywhere is in private part and public part conversations.

I have attended classes where it was taught, and as I journeyed through learning on this subject, I realized that part of the reason we have the rate of molestation we have on children is this teaching on “Private part and Public part” teaching in sex conversation.

This was when we committed to teaching Sex conversations in a way that will benefit the children we are raising in the culture today. So every year in the academy, we are given to research what has changed, why it’s changing, and how our children can be equipped.

SEX EDUCATE YOUR CHILD LIKE A PRO VOLUME 2 is here because of that research.

In this volume 2 , I shared what we call the 10 self-concepts of sex conversations. No, it’s not written anywhere else ever. It’s only in this book. This book is like gold to us in the TIP system because it’s one of those books that is given. This book will be launched in only 11 days.

Have you preordered your copy? It’s going to be launched alongside two of my other best sellers; RAISING INDEPENDENT THINKING CHILD and HOW TO LOVE YOUR CHILD MORE.

We have Over 2,000 copies of my upcoming books; Raising Independent Thinking child, Sex Educate Like A Pro (Volume 2), and How To Love Your Child More have been preordered. Of these books already preordered.Remember, you can preorder and get access to the bonus offers which include:

  1. Saving 5,500 on discount on all the books.
  2. Free copy of Workbook of How to love your child more worth 5,000.
  3. Access to the Love your child more challenge worth N20,000.
  4. 3 Masterclasses worth 60,000.
  5. A webinar worth 25,000.

So you get a Total of N115,500 FREE just by preordering the three books. You get your copies by the 30th of November, the launch date.

Please Note: Books will sell at the original price of 5,000 each after the preorder is closed and we will close preorders as soon as we hit 3,000 copies.

Click to Learn More About The Inner Circle Here

\"\"

10 Skills Every 21st Century Parent Needs To Thrive In 2023

One of the biggest tragedies of parenting is going on the parenting journey without acquiring and developing the needed skills.To parent in this day and age, you need to develop these 10 skills that will be mentioned in this blog post and they must become part and parcel of you.

We are now parenting Generation Z, Generation Alpha, and Generation Beta who are the generation that are being born today and this is not a walk in the park.

In this blog post, we\’ll be looking at the 10 skills every parent needs to thrive in 2023. I also shared these skills in one of my upcoming books titled \” Raising an independent thinking child ” when you read that book you will understand why you need to acquire these skills and how you can teach them to your children. Raising the independent thinking child book both comes as skills and tools to help you on your journey.

To preorder, simply click here http://bit.ly/TIPBooksPreorder

\"\"

10 SKILLS EVERY 21ST-CENTURY and PARENT NEEDS TO THRIVE IN 2023.

1 . Failure and Resilience skills: In the words of Oliver Goldsmith \”True greatness doesn\’t lie in never failing but in rising every time you fail” but I say that you do not fail when you think you have failed, you only fail when you do not know what to do with failure. I teach parents in our inner circle program that failure is a tool in parenting. There is every possibility that your children will fail but if you stop them from failing then they can\’t become independent thinkers. Unfortunately, many of us protect our kids so much because we do not want them to fail or experience failure but we often forget that failure equips children with adversity skills.

There\’s a quote by Walt Disney that I like. It states that \”there are evil things too,you do not do your child a favor by trying to shield him from the realities of life. The important thing is to teach your child that good will always triumph over evil.” Teach them the skills that are required because if you don\’t teach them these skills and continue to protect them, you\’ll have struggling children. They need failure and resilience skills. Failure is never the end but a tool.

\"\"

2 . Self-learning skills: With the surge of information that\’s on the increase, it\’s a greater problem managing irrelevant knowledge than acquiring knowledge. A lot of parents surf the internet for knowledge but the problem lies in managing the knowledge because there are lots of misleading information. The best way to go about it is to develop self-learning skills. It gives you the ability to see and put things together. You can develop this skill by being in an accountability system where you acquire meaningful knowledge because the more you acquire meaningful knowledge, the more you\’ll be able to sift the ones that are not desirable. You\’ll be able to distinguish the relevant and irrelevant information.

3 . Positive Attitude Skills : If you are going to parent a child today , you will need to learn the skill to be positive, life is about skills. Most parents paint a picture of gloom, hopelessness and doom as the consequence of change. The reason why you give your children false information is because of a lack of knowledge. The Bible says that wisdom and knowledge shall be the stability of our times. If you don\’t have wisdom and knowledge, you\’ll struggle and not be stable. Positivity helps us overcome challenges with skills, convictions, foresight, and joy, our children will still encounter many changes.

4 . Participative, Collaborative and Compassionate Skills: The world nurtures individual talents and collective intelligence. Who are the people around you? Have you heard of the saying? \” you are a product of people that are around you” In the inner circle, the structure helps you to nurture and scale your collective intelligence when it comes to parenting. When you see what someone has shared, you can take it, use the knowledge shared when you have a problem, and then become more intelligent. Collective intelligence helps you to build you and your child\’s intelligence. It will also help you take away the overprotection you have over your child and begin to teach the child to build social skills.

Ask About The Inner Circle Here

5 . Skills to Understand, Manage, Accept and Work With Change: Do you have the skills to understand, manage, accept and work with change? We are averse to learning because of the way we were raised, many of us were only raised to read books and pass. Many have not read any books since they came out of school. Learning is constant and as you learn, you understand, and accept things but not all then put into consideration, the change. For example, in the next 20-30 years, we\’ll have more gay parents than we\’ve ever had in the world. You might not approve of it just like I don\’t but how prepared are you to accept the change? God forbid it or it\’s not my portion are not parenting plans and will never be. You need to learn the skills to understand, manage, accept, and work with change because the 21st century is marked by fast changes. Managing changes is one of the critical skills parents must learn so that their children don\’t miss out.

\"\"

6 . Emotional Intelligence skills: The importance of emotional intelligence skills cannot be overemphasized in the 21st century. Infact, the focus is shifting from Intelligence Quotient (IQ) to Emotional Quotient (EQ) , If you do not have EQ as a parent, you\’ll be lost. As a parent, you can\’t apply the method by which you were raised with to this era of the 21st century. Change is constant and if you don\’t understand it, you\’ll be left behind.

7 . Creativity, Engagement, and Innovative Skills : These skills involve taking risks, making mistakes that you can use as tools to help your kids. It also entails becoming creative with your disciplinary strategy and effectively engaging your children. Parenting today is all about innovation and you can\’t keep doing whatever you want and expect different results.

9 .Observation, Facilitation, and Empowerment Skills: Many parents have not developed these skills because they have held on to hitting and yelling at their kids. They just observe but can\’t facilitate what you have observed and can\’t empower rather they react and disempower. The reason for disempowering is that you can\’t facilitate, i.e get the necessary knowledge in parenting. For instance, in my book, \”sex educate your child like a pro” I shared that telling your child that the penis and vagina are private parts while other parts are public parts is disempowering your child. When someone touches them at places labeled as public parts, they see it as nothing. Sex doesn\’t start with the \”private parts” and that\’s where we miss it. Your role as a parent is to facilitate growth from all angles. You can do so by (a) observing (b) mentoring/modeling (c) a positive environment for knowledge (d) providing moral support in times of crisis because that\’s when your child needs to support the most. The blame game isn\’t needed (e) acting as a torch bearer in their path to fulfilling their purpose. You are the guardian and doing the work of God as a parent.

10 . Discipline skills: Most of us can\’t discipline our children because we don\’t have the skills. The ugly part is that in the times in which we are if you don\’t learn discipline skills and then discipline wrongly, your children will find people who will bear them up in the wrong way because the devil we are dealing with is much more than you can imagine.

11 . Connection skills: You need to learn how to connect to your child. If you don\’t connect with themtoday, you can never connect with them tomorrow. That\’s why in the inner circle, we don\’t leave the connection to chance. We create the connection tools and it\’s so good because we use them to get into the heart of our children and it works wonders.

\"\"

12 . Spiritual skills. When I talk about spiritual skills, I don\’t mean going to church, (don’t misunderstand me)going to church and being among the brethren is good but there\’s much more to spiritual learning. A lot of us have not learned this skill and that\’s why you run from pillar to post looking for signs and wonders. In the inner circle, levels 2, 3, and 4 will be doing spiritual skills as a common topic and I look forward to it because they get to learn more about spiritual intelligence. Some of people do not know how to connect with God because their lack spiritual intelligence. For every human being, there\’s a connection with God and that\’s why different prophets operated differently with God in the Bible.

\"\"

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE INNER CIRCLE

HOW MUCH DOES THIS COST?

The annual subscription fee for the program is N70, 000 .

You book a slot at the enquiry desk with a non-refundable fee of N5,000 for 2023 cohort, and pay your annual fee of N65,000 which you can decide to pay at once N70,000

CAN I PAY ON INSTALLMENTS?

Yes, after the initial non-refundable fee of N5,000, you can spread the fee through the year (2-3 installments) but you must have completed payment before we resume on 1st December 2022.

CAN MY SPOUSE ENROLL?

Yes couple fee is N120,000 instead of N140,000 (Registration inclusive), so you get to save N20,000 as a couple, because we want to encourage couples to go on this journey together.

DO WE STILL HAVE SLOTS?

We currently have slots booked to over 80% of our capacity, and we will stop registration as soon as max our capacity. Slots are filling up quickly, so jump on-board now.

HOW DO I MAKE PAYMENT?

Simply book by using this link https://selar.co/tipinnercircle or make direct payment to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy, then send a chat with proof of payment to 08129687040.

MY INTENTIONAL PARENTING JOURNEY SERIES

This month we started a series where parents in the inner circle have been sharing their journey and how their lives have been transformed by being in the academy. It’s been all shades of amazing and awesome.

You can now access all the conversations in one place.

Everyone Grab your popcorn and enjoy our Parenting Netflix. Don’t forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel and also share with family and friends.

Why Every Child Need To Have Independent Thinking Skills

This concept of raising the independent thinking child is one that is very dear to me, I have been sharing my thoughts around raising the independent thinking child for the past two years. In my research I found that the reason children are being molested can be traced to the fact that they were not taught to think.

The lack of independent thinking skills is the reason we are increasingly having 30-year-olds still under their parent’s roofs, this is still happening because we have children who are being spoon-fed. Today we are not just raising children who are not able to think, we are also raising children who are entitled and irresponsible.

\"\"

In my upcoming book “Raising the independent thinking child “ I wrote about 20 tools that you need to raise an independent thinking children and 17 skills that your children will need to build to become independent thinkers.

\"\"

You can Preorder Your Copy Here to enjoy preorder benefits.

Raising an independent-thinking child in this time and age is no longer negotiable. It has become an essential life skill that children need as they grow older and interact with the changing world around them.Independent thinking starts the day you give birth to your child. A child\’s formative years play a vital role in shaping them to become independent-thinkers.

\"\"

In today\’s blog post, I\’ll point out reasons why parents need to raise independent thinking children but before we go into that, lets look at the downsides of raising children who can\’t think independently.

1 . Advancement and Innovation. Children who are just followers are as a result of their lack of independent thinking skills. Innovation is as a result of independent thinking children not obedient thinking children. Most parents think that raising obedient children is the goal because of our understanding of obedience, When you raise kids who are not independent thinkers, they just follow instructions without having a mind of their own.

2 .The School Does Not Build Independent Thinkers: Because the school follows the teach to test method where emphasis is laid on failure and success, they do not necessarily raise independent thinkers as result of this the responsibility now falls on you as a parent to raise independent thinking childre . When we don’t teach our children to be independent thinkers , they take on the herd mentality, i.e: following the crowd.

3 .Children who lack Confidence and Are Afraid of Leading: Children who lack independent thinking skills prefer to be submissive and this leads to being afraid of making mistakes because they\’ve been taught that mistakes are wrong but on the contrary mistakes are great tools for raising an independent thinker.

5 .They Get Stuck In Bad Relationships: When I hear of people who are stuck in abusive relationships and can\’t leave such relationships , I always trace it back to the lack of independent thinking skills. Without independent thinking skills, people do not know how to make tough decisions to save themselves. Life can be tough, you need to be able to remove yourself from the toughest of issues.

\"\"

Having seen the downsides, let\’s take a look at why it is important to bring up a child with independent-thinking skills.

1 . They Make The Right Life Choices: Children who are raised to be independent thinkers make the right life choices like the choice of a spouse .

2 .They Don’t Worry About Fitting In :
Independent thinkers stand out, infact you can easily pick them out from a crowd. Independent thinkers do not look for ways to fit into a crowd or be part of a herd. When you raise an independent thinker, the child understands who they are and do not need validation to live for themselves.

3 . Independent Thinkers Learn Empathy: Most people who can think for themselves know and understand that life isn\’t about control but being able to accommodate everyother person.

4 .Independent Thinkers Are More Trustworthy: Independent thinkers are more trustworthy. People can comfortably partner with them in business or invest in their business because they have been able to build a trust system.

5. Independent Thinkers Live a value-based lifestyle: Independent thinkers are driven by values, When the foundation of your home is built on a strong value system, you replace rules with values because rules are obeyed while values are internalised.

\"\"

6. They do not live to please people or say yes when they need to say no: An independent thinking child isn\’t afraid to say no to anyone at the appropriate time even to their parents. The first thing you need to teach your child is how to say no to you because if they can\’t do so at home, they can\’t say no to an outsider. The inability to say no is why children are abused and unable to report. This implies that your child doesn\’t trust you and it\’s a big problem. I keep saying that authority is trust and respect, authority isn\’t force and control. The moment you lose trust and respect, you have lost control. You must accept NO as a part of your process in your parenting journey.

\"\"

7 .Independent Thinkers Have The Ability to Seek Help : Independent thinkers can seek help, to learn what they do not know. When you raise independent thinkers, they easily go out of their way to find knowledge and learn more.

9 .They Are Never Stuck In Any Inappropriate Situation. They know how to analyze the situation and figure out an escape route. They are not fear-stricken when they find themselves in difficult situations.

\"\"

10 .They become leaders. Becoming leaders doesn\’t necessarily mean being the president, governor, etc. but they\’ll possess the ability to lead people in small spheres because they think differently.

\"\"
Over 950 copies of my new books have been preordered in just a week. Remember, you can preorder with the first 1000 persons and get access to the bonus offers which include:
1. Saving 5,500 on discount on all the books.
2. Free copy of Workbook of How to love your child more worth 5,000.
3. Access to the Love your child more challenge worth N20,000.
4. Masterclassess worth 60,000.
5. A webinar worth 25,000.
So you get a Total of N115,500 FREE just by preordering the three books. To preorder, simply click here:
http://bit.ly/TIPBooksPreorder

You can also make direct payment to our account.Pay to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040. You get your copies by 30th of November, the launch date.

Please Note: Books will sell at original price of 5,000 each after preorder is closed and we will close preorder as soon as we hit 1,000 copies . We are already only 100 orders away from that .

How To Love And Parent A Difficult Child

As parents, it is expected that we love our children, YES! but most times you find that loving your difficult child isn\’t as easy as loving the child who isn\’t difficult. If you are dealing with what I call a child that is difficult to love, you will understand better.

\"\"

For different parents, having a difficult child or a strong-willed child can mean different things. It could be that this child frustrates you, disagrees with everything, constantly argues with you, challenges everything you do or say, throws tantrums, is hypersensitive and whines or cries all the time, a teenager who is suddenly moody, disrespectful, and overcritical or even a child who has health challenges. Having a difficult child can frustrate you and make you question your parenting skills.

One of the things I have learned in the past about raising a strong will child is that this child is unique and you need to understand what is making them difficult, that is the first question you want to ask. Whatever difficulties you experience with your child that have brought you to the point of being frustrated or not being able to love your child as you ought to, you must know that the best approach for you as a parent is to be committed to long-term learning.

\"\"

So what do you do? How do you raise a difficult/ strong-willed child?

1 . Learn The Story Of Your Difficult Child: The first and most important thing to do is to understand who your child is. Knowing the child\’s learning style, temperament, and how the child wants to be loved and shown affection will enable you to know how to approach the issues you are having. While learning the story of your child, you also need to learn why they are who they are.

2 . Self-assessment: You need to look beyond the behavior of your child and do a self-assessment of who that child is. Self-assessment is looking beyond the behavior of that child and seeking to understand why they are who they are, is this behavior common? Is it common for this kind of person? By understanding the child\’s temperament, you\’ll get to know how it affects what they do. For instance, a sanguine cannot easily focus and put things into perspective. A choleric who does not learn how to navigate their journey ends up being bossy.

3 . Conduct Research : You need to research on the information you now know about your child, doing this research put you in a place to do better. According to Maya Angelou, an American writer, and poet,\” when you know better, you do better.”

When your child becomes a teen and becomes difficult, you have to do courses on the brain to know what goes on in the brain of a teenager. The puberty brain doesn\’t develop the same way a toddler\’s brain develops. There are lots of influences on the brain and they come majorly because of hormones. At puberty, the inducement of hormones causes laziness and they\’d want to sleep more and not do anything. However, if you don\’t comprehend this, you\’ll keep clashing with your child. For instance, when you have researched your strong-willed child, you will understand that they thrive through choices. Strong-willed children are wired for experiments and are not wired to follow.

Doing research, and learning about the area of your struggle is one of the best things that can happen to you.

\"\"

4 . Make a plan: Having known your child\’s story, done a self-assessment, and researched your strong-willed child, the next step is to make a well-structured plan. The style to implement when teaching and disciplining the child. Do not concentrate on learning how to raise the child the way you are used to but how to deal with what they struggle with and not the things they don\’t struggle with.

5 . Manage your emotions : We just concluded the \’Master your Emotions’ challenge and it was mind-blowing. Emotional control helps you get your calm to analyze the situation at hand. It helps you to be proactive and not reactive.

Having known ways to parent a difficult child, how do you love your difficult child?

\"\"

One of the possible reasons why the child is misbehaving or being difficult might be that he doesn\’t feel loved or lacks affection.

\"\"

Sometimes, we say that we love our children but they don\’t see or feel that we do. So you need to figure out your child\’s;

1 . Love language : Understanding each child\’s love language is paramount. Some children are touchy feelers and when they don\’t get physical affection, they believe that you don\’t love them. Create a structure that entails giving and receiving affection that comes up on daily basis in your home. Also, figure out your child\’s apology language.

2 . Do not take the misbehavior personally: Learn to separate the child\’s behavior from the child\’s. Tackle the misconduct and not your child.

3 . Watch your attitude : You need to be conscious of your attitude whenever your child seems difficult. They take and demand so much from you and it\’s easy to develop resentment towards the child that\’s difficult. Guide your thoughts by getting a system that can hold you accountable.

4 . Intentionally make out extra time : Parenting a strong-willed child requires time, energy, and patience. I always love to tell parents that time is the currency of destiny. A misbehaving child needs to love the most. When a child is being difficult, he is equally going through some difficulties or struggling with some things.

5 . Endeavor to encourage and not judge: Do not say that there is nothing good about the difficult child. Look beyond the behavior because negatives are easier to see. Implement the use of a character chart to record the good things you see. It will help you put things into perspective and see that this child isn\’t an embodiment of negativity. Shower the child with words of encouragement and affirmations.

Parenting isn\’t a walk in the park. It comes with a lot of challenges. When you meet some of the challenges, what you need to do is to take courses and educate yourself on that particular challenge. Do not try to give up because it is not an option.

\"\"

This is a good time to talk about the Inner circle program in the TIP Academy. In the Inner Circle, You will get to meet and interact with parents that have gone through what you are going through thereby giving you the support, structure, and accountability you need on your parenting journey. Click to book a slot for the 2023 cohort here https://selar.co/tipinnercircle

You can also chat with the team on
0812 968 7040 to join the 2023 cohort

\"\"

Have you preordered my latest books

RAISING INDEPENDENT THINKING CHILD

SEX EDUCATE LIKE A PRO (Volume 2) volume 1 was everything 🤩🔥

HOW TO LOVE YOUR CHILD MORE

Do you know that preordering these 3 books together will give you accces to many bonuses?

Which will include ;

Saving 5,500 on discount on all the books

•Free copy of Workbook of How to love your child more worth 5,000

•Access to the Love your child more challenge worth N20,000

•3 Masterclassess worth 60,000

•A webinar worth 25,000

So you get a Total of N115,500 FREE just by preordering the three books .

Note: This offer is only for the first 1,000 preorders , we already hitting the mark already..

Screentime Addiction: How Much Is Too Much?

Whenever we tell parents that their 18 month old or less than 18 month old toddlers have no business watching the screen, there is always a fight to it, I shared this in our TIP Facebook group recently and it created so much buzz with tons  parents leaving comments like “Do what works for you “, “it’s working in my home”, “screen makes my children really smart” etc.

The first time I shared that children do not learn the skills they need to thrive in the 21st century on screen, the counter reactions were epic.

I am excited because, in today’s blog post, we\’ll be bringing an end to the argument on “Screentime, Addiction, How much is too much, and how much should children older than 18 months be exposed to?

Patricia Kuhl; one of the world’s leading brain scientists runs experiments with more than 4,000 babies each year and she records that; “What we’ve discovered is that little babies, under a year old, do not learn from machines, even if you show them captivating videos, the difference in learning is extraordinary. You get genius learning from a live human being, and you get zero learning from a machine.”


Now, this is what happens, it may appear that the child is learning from the screen but it\’s all an illusion and will eventually affect this child in the future in many ways. Are there positive effects of children under the age of 2 or 3 being on screen? Maybe there are but the negative effects far outweigh the positive. Many times, when parents are busy they use screens as babysitters but don\’t realize that babies can learn to entertain themselves and adopt that as a way to entertain themselves.

\"\"

So how much is too much?

The American Academy of Pediatrics discourages media use, screen ( laptops, phones, tablets, T.V cartoons e.g. coco melon, Jim Jam, Ben 10, etc. ) by children younger than 2 and recommends limiting older children\’s screen time to no more than one or two hours a day. When your child is above 2 years then you can do structured screen time. It can be 1 hour per day till the child gets to the age of 6 then you can be adjusting. Pertaining to screen time, you must go through what has been recommended in the table below.

\"\"

A study by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) in 2018 indicates that older children who spent more than two hours a day on screen-time activities scored lower on language and thinking tests, and some children with more than seven hours a day of screen time experienced thinning of the brain’s cortex, the area of the brain related to critical thinking and reasoning.

What are the risks associated with screen time without regulation?

1 . Short Attention Span :

Screens hijack attention spans. For children to be successful, they need to learn how to concentrate and focus. That ability starts to develop during their earliest years when their brains are more sensitive to the environments around them. For a brain to develop and grow, it needs essential stimuli from the outside world. More importantly, they need time to process those stimuli. While reading storybooks out loud gives children time to process words, images, and voices, the constant absorption of on-screen images and messages affects their attention span and focus.

\"\"

2 .Lack of critical thinking and problem-solving skills :

When you rely on using screens to distract a child from a problem rather than having them figure it out and learn to resolve it themselves, you kill their ability to think and solve a problem on their own. Most times parents use screens to pacify their children..like using a favorite song to distract a young child who has just fallen and scraped their knee; this might look okay but having the parent comfort and cuddle with the child and talk to them is better. This can also make the brain less empathic because there is no human connection in the process of feelings.

Using screen time to distract young children who are having trouble sharing a toy will not help them learn how to share and take turns in the future, although it may be a quick fix in the short term.

\"\"

3 . Lack of empathy
Research has shown that screen time inhibits young children’s ability to read faces and learn social skills, two key factors needed to develop empathy. Face-to-face interactions are the only way young children learn to understand non-verbal cues and interpret them. “Until babies develop language,” says Charles Nelson, a Harvard neuroscientist who studies the impact of neglect on children’s brains, “all communication is non-verbal, so they depend heavily on looking at a face and deriving meaning from that face. Is this person happy with me, or are they upset at me?” That two-way interaction between children and adult caregivers is critically important for brain development.

Exposure to screens reduces babies’ ability to read human emotions and control their frustration. It also detracts from activities that help boost their brain power, like playing and interacting with other children.

\"\"

4 . Irregular Sleep : The more time spent watching on a screen, the more likely children are to have trouble falling asleep or have an irregular sleep schedule. Sleep loss can lead to fatigue and increased snacking.

As humans, our circadian rhythms and our production of melatonin — the sleep hormone — kicks in when the sun sets. But the blue light from screens inhibits melatonin, which can delay sleep. And watching TV or playing video games also keeps our brains and bodies more alert and activated and less ready for sleep. (Tablets and smartphones will suppress the melatonin more than TVs because the screen, and that blue light, is closer to the face.) According to one study, infants 6 to 12 months old who were exposed to screens in the evening showed significantly shorter nighttime sleep than those who had no evening screen exposure.

5 . Behavioural issues

Children over 18 months who spend more than two hours a day watching TV, playing video games, or using a computer or smartphone are more likely to have emotional, social, and attention problems. Also, exposure to video games is linked with an increased possibility of attention problems in children.

•Possible Autism (recent studies have proof of early screen time / excessive screen causing autism…)

6 . Voilence :
Too much exposure to violence through media can desensitize children to violence. As a result, children might learn to accept violent behavior as a normal way to solve problems.

7 . Less time for play :
Excessive screen time leaves less time for active, creative play. And play is what brings about creativity. Also higher rates of suicide has being linked to insufficient play. Children are spending more time in sedentary activity by using screens and less time in creative, active play that their bodies NEED to thrive and develop.

8 . Delayed Speech :
Research shows that talking with children in a reciprocal dialogue is extremely important for language development and social interaction. It’s that back-and-forth “conversation,” sharing facial expressions and reacting to the other person — in real life, rather than “passive” listening or one-way interaction with a screen — that improves language and communication skills in young children.

9 . Lack of real learning :
Studies have shown that children under 2 learn less from a video than when learning from another person, and it appears that although children will watch the TV screen by 6 months, understanding the content does not generally occur until after age 2. It’s not that they won’t be captivated by what’s on the screen, but they’re not learning from it.

10 . Poor Language development:
This expands rapidly between 1½ to 3 years of age, and studies have shown that children learn language best when engaging and interacting with adults who are talking and playing with them. There is also some evidence that children who watch a lot of television during the early elementary school years perform less well on reading tests and may show deficits in attention.

11 . Obesity:
The more TV and video your child watches, the greater his or her risk is of becoming overweight. Having a TV or other electronics in a child\’s bedroom increases this risk as well. Children can also develop an appetite for junk food promoted in ads, as well as overeat while watching on electronics.

\"\"


Parenting abhors vacuum. There\’s what we call replacement and that\’s what we do in TIP Academy. So when you take away the screen, you have to find what to replace it with. It\’s not about buying books and puzzles but it\’s all about what you do with them. It won\’t be a smooth sail when you take away the screen but the positive results you\’ll get will be rewarding.

JOIN THE WAITLIST FOR THE INNER CIRCLE HERE

\"\"

One of the things I did in my new book, \”Raising the independent thinking child” is to outline solutions on how parents can take away screen and create healthy alternatives for screen addiction. This blog post was also an excerpt from my upcoming book “Raising The Independent thinking child”.

\"\"

PRE-ORDER is Finally Here

We opened preorder links only about 1hour ago and we currently have over 50 copies already paid for. If you have read my works, you will know that you are up for another parenting mind shift. We have some perks for the first 500 parents who get to preorder.

We will be giving them the LOVE YOUR CHILD MORE Workbook FREE worth #5,000

Access to a MasterClass on “Raising An Independent thinking Child” worth #20,000

As soon as we hit 500 orders, we will take away these bonuses. I am sure we Will be 50% gone in 24 hours because only parents in the academy are enough to buy the first 2,000 copies. PREORDER NOW, to get all the perks attached.

Preorder HERE :
http://bit.ly/TIPBooksPreorder